


Survivors

by Redroses123



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:34:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 153,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22327174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redroses123/pseuds/Redroses123
Summary: Brandon Stark lives through his experience with the mad king but he isn't the same man that went to Kingslanding. Just as Elia Martell is not the same princess who married a valiant prince. What will these two broken people do when they are thrown together?
Relationships: Catelyn Stark/Ned Stark, Elia Martell/Brandon Stark
Comments: 304
Kudos: 370
Collections: Southern Renaissance (Dorne Renaissance)





	1. Consequences

**Author's Note:**

> Basically Elia living is my OTP! So I changed the time line so she could. She just deserves so much more then what she got. I decided Brandon Stark deserved another chance too. Thanks for reading and I would love to know what you think because I am a comment whore!

Chapter 1: Consequences

I tossed and turned in the large bed, it was far to soft after years of sleeping on the floor of a black cell. The nightmares of Kingslanding would not subside even after almost a year of being back in Winterfell. It seemed the scars were not just all across my body but in my mind as well.

I threw the blanket off annoyed and tired of trying to sleep. I could not remember the last time I slept well. I sat up and stared at the cane by my bedside. It had not been there when I went to sleep but it was there again every morning. Just like yesterday morning I threw it a crossed the room.

I turned quickly hearing the door. Every hair on my body stood up. In my cell when I heard the door it meant Aery's was bored and wanted to torture his favorite play thing and I could not shake the dread when the door crept open.

"My Lord are you up?" Myla asked nervously. She was a serving girl used to my fits of rage.

"Well it's either me or a very large rat." I told her annoyed.

"Would you like me to help you dress?" She asked softly.

"I am not a child or a woman, I can manage on my own."

"B-but the new maester says I'm to help you dress so you don't open your wounds." She said and I only growled in response the new maester was driving me mad, I fantasized about throwing him from the top of Winterfell, now I probably couldn't manage all the stairs with my leg and my back.

"W-would you like me to prepare a bath?" She asked making me look up at the girl she did not know when to stop. "Or mayhaps a shave? I could cut your hair." She added meekly.

"Why would you do that?" I snapped my hair was messy tangles down to my shoulders and my beard was unruly at best, but it had been since I returned the handsome clean shaved lordling was a distant memory to me now.

"B-because they say your lady will be here today or by morrow and I thought you would want to look your best." She squeaked as she poured a basin of water.

"Do you see the scars on my face and body Myla?"

"Yes, my lord." She said softly not looking at me.

"Do you see the burns a crossed my body that will never go away?"

"Yes, my lord."

"Then we can agree my best is at least three years past me, bring me that gods damn basin before I die of old age!" I barked she did with a whinny noise I splashed the cold water on my face deciding that was the best the princess would get from me. Myla jumped back as soon as possible she looked at me like a wild beast and acted as though I was just as dangerous, Myla may have been smarter than she was given credit for.

"OUT!" I shouted and she hurried away without another word.

I stumbled up to get dressed, pants go on easy enough only slightly aggravating my leg and back. Putting on the white shirt groaning at the pain in my back. The door opened again to my alarm.

"Damn can I get no peace in my own castle!" I shouted in pain and humiliated that the once great Brandon Stark was being beaten by a fucking shirt.

"Let me help you." Benjen said he was a handsome boy of 14 and though he was young he was the only person who I could not push away no matter how horrible I was.

Benjen just came over coolly he was already well dressed with combed hair he still smelled of shaving cream though we both new he could not grow a whisker if he tried, I think he just felt older putting it on. He pulled the shirt the rest of the way down before tying the collar and wrists every time I hit his hands away, he just waited a moment looking at me with those big blue eyes and started again. He went and grabbed my doublet he tried to pick something nice out for the princess, but I told him no until he picked a simple black doublet with silver wolves. He put one arm in moving the coat around to the other side so I could put my other arm in painlessly.

He moved over to the table where a silver chain with a silver wolves head in the middle of it laid. It had always belonged to the reigning Lord Stark. My father always wore it. "It only takes one weak link to break the chain, to ruin everything the starks ever stood for." He told me when I was a boy younger than Benjen. I remembered my eyes widening in horror as I clutched to his leg. "I don't was to be the weak link papa!" I had balled. He only laughed. "You are not the weak link my boy this is you here." he said pointing to the wolf's head. "You are the centerpiece." He promised. I hung my head as he put on the chain I didn't deserve it but it was my duty to wear it until I died.

"I will get your boots." He said simply.

"I don't need help!" I barked.

Benjen did not care about my angry tones he never even acknowledged my rage. "I was thinking I could be your squire since you sent Ethan away." He said.

"I almost got my last squire killed benny." I reminded as he returned with my riding boots.

"Sit down." Benjen instructed.

"No" I told him yanking them away lifting my foot to put on a boot was not a hard task a few years ago but now I found myself falling over I cursed every word I could think of. Benjen joined my on the floor he put on both my boots before I could argue with him.

"Are you alright?" He asked and my hand touched his face, he was a boy, but he was a better man then me.

"I am going to send you to Neds holdfast." I told him decidedly but it wasn't the first time.

"No!" He told me firmly.

"You can look after Cat and her baby while Ned is away."

"No! I want to stay here and take care of you!" He told me as we both sat on the floor of my bed chamber.

"I don't want you too."

"That's why you need it." Benjen said and I smiled.

"He's better looking then me and a philosopher to boot." I teased making him smile that ear to ear grin that showed how boyish he truly was.

"I love you Brandon, you'll always be my big brother." He promised.

"Help me the fuck up before I change my mind." I told him and he jumped up happy to do so. Benjen Pulled and I pushed off the bed and finally got up.

He brought me my sword and scabbard because he still thought I was a great man, I did not protest taking it from his and securing it.

"Will you eat breakfast with me?" Benjen asked happily as we walked out.

"Alright I will eat your breakfast."

"That isn't what I said!" He shouted but he could not hide his smile he loved it when I could play with him like we used to.

"That is what I heard." I told him as we turned the corner the new maester was there.

"Ah Lord Stark I need to look at your wounds." Luwin said simply I groaned in annoyance.

"H-he was in a good mood! We were going to have breakfast and you ruined it!" Benjen cried.

"Master Benjen I admire your efforts, but his mood matters much less then if his wound gets infected and I have to amputate his leg." Luwin reminded scaring Benjen.

"Do not talk to him that way!" I yelled.

"Yes, my lord." Luwin also was unaffected by my yelling but it was more of indifference. "My lord you aren't using your cane?"

"I did not use it yesterday or any day before then, but you thought today would be the day?" I growled.

"He's trying to help." Benjen said softly.

"Go on to breakfast Benny I will see you later." I said annoyed.

"But-"

"Benjen now!" I said he sighed going that way.

"Come Maester Walys is waiting." Luwin called as we went to the maester's chambers that were more cramp then ever with two maestoes in it. Walys had been the Maester since I was a boy, but he was ill an old and pale. He had told Benjen to send for a replacement while I was imprisoned, and Eddard was at war. Luwin had stopped at Riverrun to help Catelyn birth her baby and arrived with them to Winterfell. He apparently wanted to be able to say he delivered all Lord Eddard's children, me living had to have been a terrible surprise to him though he refused to admit it.

"Lord Rickard!" Walys said from his sick bed, Luwin's first major task as the maester of Winterfell would be caring to his predessor. Luwin was kind enough to let Walys still pretend to be in charge and I would have to remember to thank him for that. I loved that old man.

"It's Lord Brandon, Maestor Walys." Luwin said softly as he lifted my shirt to look at the burn a crossed my back, all the lashes had scarred over but the burn was trick it reopened three times now.

"Well of course it is! I know who he is! I bulled him from the great Lady Lyarra myself! I delivered all Lord Starks Children and Lord Rickard and his brother!" Walys screeched in his shrill old voice before throwing a book near Luwin missing terribly.

"You give him proper hell Walys." I laughed.

"Yes my lord!" He told me with a toothless grin.

"Are you putting ointment on?" Luwin asked not bothered by our antics.

"No." I told him I heard his disapproving hum. At least Luwin kept his disappointment in my survival private, Lord Hoster was vocal about his rage. My survival meant he married his first-born prized daughter to a second son. I was not the only one who had not been thought to survive. Elia Martell and her two children hid in a secret passage through the red keep while it was looted by Tywins men. Robert found himself in an uncomfortable place not wanting to be the monster that killed children but wanting to end the Targaryen empire permanently even if it meant two more little graves. As it was Elia Martell was very popular in Kingslanding and Dorne had already threatened to rise for her aid.

Jon Arryn had a solution he thought would eloquently fix both problems. He knew Elia could never return to Dorne she would be the hostage that would keep the Martell brothers from rising for Aegon, they loved their sister too much to risk her life apparently. She would need a new name besides Targaryen and a husband as a jailer for her and warden of her dragons. If rumors are to be believed Jon Arryn first proposed a marriage between himself and Elia until she told him she could not have anymore children and the Arryn line was dependent upon him having issue. This was about When Hoster Tully threatened to break the alliance of the Riverlands, Vale, North and Stormlands unless he got his daughter back though this was impossible as she already gave Eddard a son. Jon then decided that if I were to wed princess Elia her children would be kept far from everyone's minds in the north and we would never have issue so when I died Catelyn could be lady of Winterfell as she had been promised. Everyone besides me was happy and Robert made it a royal decree, so I had no choice in the matter.

"Let's look at that leg." Luwin said finally.

"Would you just let me die!" I spat annoyed.

"NO NO BRANDON IS NOT DEAD! HE CANNOT BE DEAD HE DIDN'T DIE IN KINGSLANDING NO NO NO!" Walys screeched.

"I am right here Walys. I told him tiredly. I was at least on the outside.

"You've upset him." Luwin said tiredly going over to him.

"Brandon's the best of us, we all know it." Walys whined in Luwin's arms. Luwin looked up at me with judgemental eyes.

"I cannot wait to see it." Luwin said simply before returning to me.

I lowered by pants so he could look at the deep cut on my thigh.

"It's healing well." He noted.

"Without a cane." I reminded.

"You wouldn't wobble if you used the cane." He said simply.

"I don't wobble I spat pulling my pants up.

"That collar needs untied at all times." Luwin said.

"I don't want to scare Ben." I told him but I undid it letting him examine the purple marks around my neck.

"That looks terrible." Luwin noted pressing on it.

"Thanks." I said rolling my eyes.

"Your lucky to be alive." He said he wasn't the first person to tell me that. I did not feel lucky.

By the time I ate breakfast Benjen was gone off to training no doubt.

"Come now you look horrible!" Nan told me bluntly the old lady looked a little older after the death of all her sons. She took me by the hand and sat me down to groom.

"I already said no to this." I protested.

"I don't take no for an answer. Besides you wouldn't hurt an old woman."

"I would send an old woman away from Winterfell." I reminded as she trimmed my beard, she paid me and my empty threats no mind.

"I was once almost sent away. I came here to be the wetnurse for your uncle Brandon, your grandmother Marna Locke died having him, she was still in her bed when I got there even dead, she was beautiful. I loved your uncle like he was my own and he loved me. Your father was older and had no attachment to me, right before you were born, he was going to send me away. Then you came in the middle of the night your mother was determined to feed you herself, but you weren't latching so I gave her tips on breastfeeding and she insisted I stayed." Nan giggled to herself. "One Brandon Stark brought me, and another kept me." She told me. "You will tell the princess if she needs help with feeding your baby I would help her, or any other help with babies I know bout babies better than anything, sure she has two of her own but she never had a stark baby yet and I know Stark babies-" She went on.

"Nan we won't be having any babies she can't have any more children." I told her annoyed getting swat for my tone, I liked nan she was the only person as prickly as me.

"Who told her this? A man? Men don't know nothin bout babies even maesters just pull on the dear things. No, only the gods know if she can have any more children and I have been praying to them to give her a little wolf."

"You can stay at Winterfell till you die Nan, and if you want to look after a baby I will send you to Catelyn." I told her.

"I know, but I still like the idea of her having your baby after the mess her husband caused, give him somethin to think about in his seven hells." Nan cackled.

"Gods bless you Nan." I laughed.

"They better bless me with a Stark Baby!" She screeched the sponge she held dripped on my head. I got up and away from her.

"Let me clean and cut it." She said.

"No!" I told her simply.

"You need to look nice for you Princess."

"I don't want her Nan! I will not get all dressed up and pretty for Rhaegar Targaryen's snotty wife. She is something forced on me!" I reminded her.

She grumbled as she left taking her sheers with her.

Rodrick walked in quickly with his young nephew Jory behind him as always. "A carriage is approaching Winterfell your lordship!" He said excitedly the servants ran about in preparation.

"Fine." I sighed.

"Come now my lord, you must come see your bride arrive.

"I will not pretend this is something other then what it is I am there jailer; I will come with you to do my duty overseeing my prisoners but that's it." I told him making him from but nod.

When we arrived Benjen was already there waiting to stand at my side. Nan had come around telling all the serving girls to stand up straight. Luwin was practically carrying Walys over. I went to help but Luwin exasperatedly refused worried about my back.

The gates opened as the carriage came into sight with a group of guards around it led by a kingsguard, I thought how stupid it was to send someone you were telling everyone was not king with a kingsguard as escort.

It was Jamie Lannister in his golden Armor and white cloak looking prouder than a peacock.

"Is he a real hero?" Benjen asked confused his heroes were Eddard, men of the nights watch that came to Winterfell knowing they were always welcome here, and for some unseeingly reason me. Jamie was very different from Benjen's idea of a hero.

"He's a southern knight, which basically makes him a lady." I told Benjen making Rodrick laugh from behind us.

He barked orders to halt to his guards he was enjoying this far to much. He got down from his fine horse. "Lord Stark." He said with a gallant nod before going to the Carriage and began ripping the woman out of it. She was crying for her baby and he was yelling.

"Please he's only a baby you cannot keep him from me." She sobbed as he forced her out of the carriage one hand pulled hard on her wrist but once he pulled the little girl out with his other hand she got out trying to take back the screaming toddler but he kept them apart her on one side the child on the other. She wasn't what I expected. She was four or five years older than me but I imagined her more then that, this old woman whose husband was repulsed by her but that was not the case. In actuality she looked young, younger than me for sure. Though I felt as though prison aged me fifteen years.

"He is hurting her!" Benjen cried and I ran forward, I wasn't sure if it was for the princess I did not know or more likely because my little brother was scared, and he still saw me as the good guy.

"Let her go now!" I told him his guards charged forward but so did mine and we had the numbers, besides we were men of the north and that was the reason they were so cautious. My hand went to my sword but I wasn't worried, my fingers had healed but where they had broken always ached a little before a fight. In that moment my fingers did not ache at all.

"She's been whining for her offspring since Kingslanding." Jamie said as though his annoyance was understandable, as though she had no right to want the child she bore.

"I thought I was to take in the boy and the girl?" I said that's what I understood from Lord Arryn's many letters.

"Change of plans, the boy is to stay in the holdfast for his own safety." Jamie said smugly.

"No, no! They are going to kill my baby!" She cried big black eyes looked at me to see if I would help her.

"Are you accusing the king of murder? Babies die all the time princess." The Lannister hissed into her ear.

"Enough let her go now!" I told him fed up with his horseshit.

"Why don't you make me Stark?" Jamie said he had her in one hand and the girl in the other I stepped forward too. "Fine." I said pulling my sword handle forward fast enough that he could only widen his eyes, crashing it in his noes before letting it go so it would fall back into my scabbard as I caught both princess Elia and her daughter. Benjen cheered and all of Winterfell after him. I grit my teeth to keep from howling in pain I opened that fucking wound on my back for sure.

Jamie held his bloody nose. "The king sent me!" Jamie spat.

"The king won't care." I assured. Our men stayed ready until Jamie called his to unload the carriage, they dumbed out a few trunks and some empty bird cages and were off as quickly as they could. Which was fine, Winterfell was better off without them.

I looked the princess over closely now as she pulled away from me grabbing her daughter who instantly wrapped her arms around her mothers' neck. Elia shifted her daughter carefully as she looked her over. They looked alike with night black hair and brown skin. Elia herself was dainty with small delicate features She only made it to my shoulder in height and she was very thin and petite. Her graceful hand ran a crossed her daughters hair to comfort the sniffling child. "I want to go home mommy." The girl whimpered.

"I know my love." Elia said her big black eyes looked me over as though I were the enemy. As though I had not just saved her.

Maestor Luwin coughed reminding me I was trained to be a gracious lord. "Welcome to Winterfell princess." I told her.

"Thank you." She said but she could quiet smile and her voice was hoarse with grief. She extended her hand shifting to hold her daughter on her hip.

I took it instead of kissing it I examined her bruising wrist. "Are you alright?" I asked putting a little pressure on it to see how bad it was, she instantly pulled it away.

"Yes, thank you for doing what little you could do." She said softly. I decided to let the insult go since she would probably never see her son again and spent a month with that horrible man child who probably told her so.

"Princess Elia this is my brother Benjen." I said gesturing to him, and he stepped forward bowing gallantly. "My lady." He said with an ear to ear grin and smiling eyes.

"Lord Benjen, a pleasure." She said not hiding her grief well as she curtseyed.

"Does the girl have a name?" I asked annoyed.

"Rhaenys." Elia said softly.

"Your suppose to say-" Benjen started to me quietly.

"I think this has been painful enough for everyone Benny." I told him before turning to Luwin. "Have princess Elia showed to her room and her things brought there. I am going to be anywhere but here." I informed them before walking away.

I tried to forget about the miserable princess and her weeping child as I rode my horse Blizard among the hills feeling Northern wind against my face was the only thing that made me feel alive anymore. I thought about Catelyn Tully. I had not wanted to marry her. I told Barbary as much. However, when I met Catelyn it went so much better than the travesty that happened Infront of Winterfell today. I had decided being married to Catelyn would not be so terrible. She was pretty and she adored me.

Elia was not pretty; she was beautiful more so then even Barbary Dustin. I had never seen a Dornish woman before but now I had the urge to visit Dorne. I found myself haunted by her smooth warm brown skin, she had Lustrous black curls and big black eyes. Yet I instantly loathed her, and I was unsure why, if it was her mistrust of me or seemingly hatred of me, did she know I did not ask for this, that I was the one doing her a favor?

I tried to remember her at Harenhall but I had no memories of her though I was aware she had been there. She was the crown princess's wife; I had focused on ladies who were more available at Harrenhall. If Rhaegar had given the same curtesy we would not be in this mess now.

I arrived back at Winterfell around Dark with everyone telling me I was not supposed to ride off on my own even though I was lord of Winterfell. I ignored them going to the great hall for dinner. Benjen alone sat at the great table.

"Where is the princess?" I snapped to Luwin.

"Oddly she decided not to come to dinner after that warm welcome. She ordered some food for her daughter, I assume they are still in her room my Lord." Luwin said with a knowing look as though this was all my fault.

"She's pretty, and sad." Benjen said thoughtfully.

I left with a growl storming to her rooms ripping the door open. She was in a white night dress she had grabbed a candle stick to defend herself she kept it up her arm shaking as she looked at me with suspicion.

"I want to talk to you!" I said Slamming the door. After a moment she set the candlestick down looking to her daughter who was sound asleep in the bed. After the long journey a thousand wild horses probably could have rode through the room and the girl would not have stirred.

"This is inappropriate." She said softly crossing her arms over her chest.

"If people are saying your not a virgin it might be because of that little girl over there." I said with a smirk making her pout.

"It's still unseemly behavior for a lord." She said not backing down, but I doubted she had been in may fights how fidgety she was.

"So is not coming to dinner," I informed her.

"I am not hungry," She said softly.

"You know I did not ask for this? You were forced upon me? You could at least act civil and show up to dinner," I told her.

"What about what I asked for? Did you ever consider that for a moment lord Stark? That mayphaps I did not want to be abandoned by my husband? That I did not want to be the mad kings Dornish hostage to make sure Doran complied? That I did not want to be held responsible for what horrors my husband did, and did not want to be given away to some northern savage and separated from my little baby son! Did you even consider me for a moment!?" She asked as tears poured out of her eyes.

I did not. Watching her try to hold onto her anger when really all she wanted was to curl up in a ball and never stop crying made me realize why I did not like her. I realized how scared she was when the door opened that matched my own dread. It seemed we had a lot in common when it came to trauma. She reminded me how broken I was. I looked over at the empty bird cages again.

"Why do you have empty bird cages?" I asked maybe because there was nothing real left to say between the two of us.

Her watery eyes glared at me. "The birds died on the way." She told me. "Nothing can live in this cold wasteland!" She told me.

"I'm sure it seems like that to you princess." I told her turning and leaving.


	2. Rules

_Chapter 2: Rules_

_“Everything is going to be well.” I promised the children, I had no idea if everything was going to be well, but I loved them so much I had to lie. I clutched Aegon in my arms he wasn’t moving fast enough for the guards and they had chosen to push him to move him along. My son was not yet two and instead of moving faster he had fallen. I scrambled to grab him before they could though it only slowed us down and they were pushing us to move faster then our feet could carry us._

_“Where are we going!” Rhaenys asked with ragged breath trying to keep up and tired eyes we were dragged out of our beds in the middle of the night, we had not left the small guarded room since Robert became king for fear people would see the last of the true royal family in kingslanding. Now we had to be moved at night unnoticed._

_“To the north, we are going to stay with the Starks.” I told my daughter softly in truth I had been relieved when they told me they were giving me away to the lord of Winterfell so my children and I could be forgotten in the north. It was very preferable to living in Roberts cage being taunted by his horrible new queen and the ever-present axe hanging over my children’s heads, the fear every time the door shook open that this was the time, they were coming for them. It was threatened enough, I felt a true since of dread anytime the door opened and someone barged in._

_“Are they nice.” Rhaenys asked as we were pushed down a back stairway, I was careful to hold my daughters’ hand with my free one._

_“The Starks are known for their honor; they will be good to us.” I promised her, I was telling myself the same, it had to be better then being Roberts prisoner or Aery’s for that matter. Father had once mentioned Rickard Stark being a man of great honor in the war of the nine penny kings. But that was the Stark man Aerys had killed in the throne room. When we arrived from Dragonstone his scorch mark still laid on the floor. This was a different Stark his son._

_When Jon Arryn first came to me speaking of Brandon Stark, I knew the name immediately. Ashara said he was handsome, so much so that she could have swooned when he walked up to her at Harrenhall and that she had been disappointed he only asked her to dance with his shy brother, or at least she was at first._

_“Outside?” Aegon asked his little head laid on my shoulder and his arms wrapped around my neck. My poor son was cursed with perfect Targaryen looks. Silver hair, pale skin, big purple eyes and high cheekbones. I wondered if cutting off his beautiful silver locks would make his life easier, though it was not truly an option with no scissors of any kind._

_“Yes, we are going outside.” I told him he probably could not recall ever being outside. He came here when he was little more then a newborn and we had been hostages since._

_The Hand of the king was waiting for us at the base of the steps he looked woeful he had repeatedly given me his sincerest apologize but concluded it was the way of the world. He clutched a blanket as they moved our things few things. Everything of value was taken, we were no longer royals we were told as they took my ruby Tiara Rhaella Targaryen placed on my head at my wedding, anything with a dragon incrusted on it which seemed to be most of our possessions, the blanket my son was wrapped in when he was born because it had a crown embroider on it, my daughters doll that once belonged to Rhaena Targaryen had white hair and purple painted eyes and a red dress and Robert threw it into the fire Infront of her. It was not just everything Targaryen any jewels I had brought with me from Dorne were taken. The bracelets my mother wore to here wedding, the ring my grandmother gave me, earrings from Ashara anything I had worth taking was gone. Thing I would have happily sold to get my children to Essos._

_“Cover the boy with this.” Jon said handing the blanket to a guard who tossed it at me. I carefully wrapped it around him to cover his silver hair. Apparently, it was fine to treat women and children this way as long as no one knew it was Rhaegar Targaryens children._

_“Have you to bring those things?” A guard asked as the colorful birds in the cages squawked._

_“They are the only joy the children have.” I said simply. Rhaenys had a kitten she loved; it had been a third nameday gift young prince Viserys had picked out special for his little niece. He had always been a darling boy. Cersei Lannister had picked it up once when she came to gloat at me. She came to the capital to marry the king and wanted to let me know that. Even though she was being horrible she was a young girl and picked up the adorable little kitten when she saw it. That black kitten peed all over the future queen and Rhaenys being the child she was laughed; Cersei showed her cruelty by having it killed right there in our room. I was glad to be leaving sure she would have my children killed with just as little regret and remorse._

_“Then I insist you take them.” Jon Arryn said simply with a smile as though he did us a great favor._

_“Yes, thank you.” I Said simply as we followed the guards to the carriage. Aegon looked up at the night sky astounded. Rhaenys breathed deeply. “It smells like rain Egg!” Rhaenys told him gleefully._

_“Wain!” Aegon said trying to breath in like his sister and it brought a smile to my lips._

_“I know his brother better, but Brandon Stark is a fine man, of impeccable honor, and tall.” Jon Arryn tried his best to sell him as he walked. I hoped we could be friends but with my children leaving the red keep finally alive and well and trying to smell rain I had all I need. No Jewels or man could rival my children’s safety._

_“We have new orders from the king.” Jamie Lannister said coming toward us, his eyes were dark. I did not know him well, but Arthur once told me that to bare working for the mad king when the boy did horrible things in his king’s name, he had to ‘go away’ and be this emotionless weapon. Whenever Aerys would ask a horrible task of him his green eyes seemed dark as they did now._

_“I thought ser Selmy was to take the princess?” Jon Arryn said._

_“Change of plans!” Jamie repeated louder and slower he bolstered a lot of attitude and ego but I was sure it was a way of coping. He handed a piece of parchment to Jon Arryn before looking at me and in those dark green eyes I saw the pain seep through for just a moment._

_Jon Arryn looked up in horror. “No, no this cannot be!”_

_“Lord Arryn?” I asked but he ignored me looking at Jamie in disbelief._

_“The kings order.”_

_“This is unthinkable!”_

_“Lord Arryn we are going to get in the carriage now it’s dark and the children are tired.” I said scrambling as if we would be safe in the carriage. We would not be safe anywhere. I turned toward the carriage seeing the men Jamie Lannister brought blocking it._

_“You will not all be going princess.” Jon Arryn said mournfully._

_I looked back at him in utter terror, he had already accepted this fate for us no matter how horrible he admitted it to be._

_Jamie nodded as a man I knew to be Ser Loche came towards us before I could get out asking what was going on my baby was ripped from my arms._

_“MOMMA!” Aegon screamed I went forward after him pulling my daughter along. Jamie grabbed me he was trying to calm me with apologize as he held me back. The well-behaved girl I had always been that survived Rhaegar, Aerys, and Robert finally shattered._

_I kicked and hit at him to let me go._

_“Please salvage your dignity before you hurt yourself-“He started but it ended in a howl as I bit him hard on the neck and in pain and shock he left me go. “SHE BITE ME!” He yelped before cursing. I had not realized it until he said so, I hadn’t really cared I was already running forward after my baby who wailed for me. His eyes filled with hope as I came for him. I was his mother I was supposed to protect him, and with no father or alies I was the only one who would protect him, Aegon reached over the bad mans shoulder to me and I reached to grab him just as guards seized me pulling me towards the carriage as I screamed. “He’s just a baby! “ I yelled but these were godless men. “AEGON!” I screamed as Aegon was carried into the castle and out of my sight. I was thrown into the carriage with Rhaenys._

I woke up in a cold sweat that made me shiver. I dreamed my nightmare once more, my life now. I looked over at my daughter next to me. She was sound asleep under the fur blanket. I had to have passed out from exhaustion while watching my daughter sleep again. It seemed the only way I got any sleep. I wondered if Aegon was warm enough in Meagors holdfast. If he was scared.

I had never been a fighter, even as a girl I did not enjoy fighting with words or otherwise. Now I had to fight every day to keep my children alive it seemed. I had to fight. First with words; Aery’s and his madness from not burning us to death after his son died, then Robert and Jon Arryn to convince them to not slaughter my children. Always eloquently as a princess should but when they ripped my son from my arms it was as though I was a beast screaming clawing biting to get my young back. Loosing Aegon was like losing a part of me. All I did was ache for my baby. All I wanted to do was crumble but even in the north there was this terrible Brandon Stark to fight, who seemed as though he wanted to fight.

No more I told myself I was done with how these people were making me feel. Robert, his horrible wife, Jamie Lannister, and now Brandon Stark. When I was a girl my mother would say my flower came with no thorns and that was the best of me. I would not act out of fear anymore I would not let them take the best of me away anymore. Because more then anything no one would give me my son back for stomping my foot. I would have to out wit and will my enemies with a polite smile on my face.

I got up letting my feet hit the cold wood floor. As much as I wanted to hide away and cry I would not. I had to try and help Aegon and I could not do that locked away. I could not do that without allies.

I watched Rhaenys I had to make the world better for her. “Wake up my love.” I told her moving her lightly. “We have much to do today.” I told her.

Rhaenys could be stubborn but tired as she was, she was docile and let me dress her. I put her in a purple dress, I was careful to keep her out of Targaryen colors which would mean I desperately needed to make more clothes for her. I brushed out her hair as I did every morning.

A knock knock on the door startled me. Out of instinct I pulled my daughter close. I was not used to knocking I was used to people galivanting as they pleased into the tiny chambers my children and I had been placed in with guards at the door night and day. The young queen would never fill Rhaella’s shoes. Rhaella who was good and dutiful despite her woes. This Cersei Lannister would come to torment me when she had nothing better to do. She was preferable to Robert though who would come at all hours of the night drunk and yelling about how he should kill my children. I think the manner Brandon came in had much to do with my rage.

“Who is it?” I asked softly.

“I am Alys, Gara, and Brina are with me, we were told to come help you m’lady.” She the girl said nervously.

“Please come in.” I told her the girls all scattered in the eldest could be no more then 17 the others were younger I’d guess near 15 and 12.

“Maester says we are to help you.” Alys the older girl says the other to were behind her watching me. Brandon was rude upon my arrival, but I was barely any better I was angry and scared and acted as such.

“That is very kind of you thank you.” I told them and the youngest girl started to creep out.

“We are not handmaidens princess, but we do are best.” Alys promised and I smiled.

“I’ve never met a princess before.” The youngest said softly.

I smiled. “Now you met two.” I told her playing with my daughters’ hair.

“Enough Brina go help Gara, make the bed.” Alys as the eldest reprimanded as she poured a water basin.

“May I help you with your dress princess?” Alys asked.

“Would you draw me a bath?” I asked they looked at each other odd, I bathed the night before as well. I was told it was unusual even for high borns to bath more then thrice a moon in the north. In Dorne we bathed every day.

“It’s best to bath at night Princess so you don’t catch cold during the day.” Alys advised.

“Very well. Then would you please help me with my dress?” I asked and they were giddy to do so. Alys and Brina helped me into an old red dress of mine, probably the warmest I had not saying much as it was still silk with a high slit up the side. Sometimes I was sure I was sent here to freeze to death.

“How long do we have to stay here mama.” My little girl asked with a yawn. I couldn’t bare to tell her forever. All she did was be born on the wrong side of this war; all I did wrong was doing as I was told. marrying the brooding prince giving him to beautiful children a boy and a girl and I was being punished for it.

The girls pretend not to hear. Alys helped me with my shoes and Gara my hair. Soon I had them smiling and laughing as young girls ought to do. It seemed easy enough for them to get use to use even though we were foreign, it seemed to only matter that we were nice. I prayed everyone else was as easy to get along with.

“Come on sweetheart, maybe we will see some northern birds?” I told her making her smile she took my hand as we walked around Winterfell, it was warmer in the old castle then I had imagined. What would they think of us southerners if they knew how we imagined their castles filled with icicles?

“Why are there so many stairs.” Rhaenys asked like only little girls could.

I smiled at her as we descended down the stairs below the rookery.

“But they are so old!” She exclaimed.

“Best not say that little one.” I told her as I knocked on the chamber door.

“Come in!” Two different voices rang.

Firmly holding Rhaenys hand I walked in. The old maestor laid in his coat rasping for breath, the young maestor sat writing at the desk.

“Ah princess Elia, a lovely surprise.” He said. “I am afraid we were not introduced when you arrived, I am maestor Luwin and over there is Maestor Walys.” He said with a kind smile.

“I must apologize for my behavior upon arrival.” I told him.

“No princess that fault does not lie with you,” He sighed. “You’re a young woman in a new scary place who was separated from her child, he could have used one of the three manors he remembers.” I had to stop myself from laughing I had thought myself Brandon Starks biggest critic, but I saw now I had competition.

“You do not like him?” I surmised by his words and the way he looked at his young lord. Luwin looked up from his writing.

“I do not like wasted potential, and Lord Stark has it, he could be the greatest lord in Westeroes if he elects to do so, he has it in him. “ Maestor Luwin said.

“Do you think Lord Stark would write to Jon Arryn for me?” I asked he was the Maestor who better to know their lord.

“Not if I asked him, he loathes me. You would have better luck asking yourself princess.” Luwin told me.

“He loathes me more.” I assured.

“When will we get baby brother back!” Rhaenys asked.

“I do not know my love, but we will.” I told her softly before looking at Luwin there was no reason to hide my motive I would shout it from the top of Winterfell if there was a slight chance it would help. “I mean to get my son back maestor Luwin, I came here to see if you would help me?” I asked him.

“Any way I am able princess.” He promised.

“Thank you.” I told him touching his hand. “We won’t keep you.” I promised taking my daughter and turning to leave.

“Princess, there is to be the matter of running Winterfell. I do what I can, but it is not my place to make decisions and Lord Stark shys away from duty however, I received a glowing raven from maester Elswth from Dragonstone. He asked I looked out for you and spoke so highly of your many fine qualities including the fact that you kept the books of Dragonstone.”

“Math was so dull to Rhaegar he preferred his scrolls to numbers.” I said so softly as if afraid he would rise from the dead at my mention of his name. No, I never had any sort of power over Rhaegar when he was alive, I would not gain it in death. Rhaenys looked up at me she must have recognized the name, but she did not shout for papa like she use to. The big dark purple eyes stared up at me, she was a perfect child just like her brother. I could understand Rhaegar leaving me I was told repeatedly that it was my own failings that sent him away. But he abandoned them to, his wonderful little daughter and newborn son. He left as though they were nothing and I could not forgive him for that. I never did.

“You ran Dragonstone while…. _he_ was away?” Luwin asked not wanting to say his name either for Rhaenys sake or because of what he had done to the very people who lived in this castle. Or at least what they believed he had done.

“Yes.” In truth I always handled the day to day tasks of managing Dragonstone the little things not worthy of my husband’s time. “I was taught how to run and rule a castle when I was a child.” I said watching his confused look. “In Dorne though I have a younger brother I was the spare, I had to learn the same things Doran had before me.” I explained he nodded as though it now made so much sense.

“Then you would not mind if I brought you the books this afternoon?”

“Not at all.” I promised.

“Good, I was also supposed to tell you. Although Jon Arryn specified you and your daughter should stay inside, Lord Stark has confirmed that would be impossible as you are to marry in the Godswood and he argued that you should be able to go anywhere inside the walls of Winterfell and the Lord hand conceded.” The maestor said he looked up at me to see if I followed. Lord Arryn would not listen to me but apparently Brandon’s words had much more power to them.

“Thank you.” I said softly and he nodded.

“We will not keep you.” I told him.

“You could be good for each other, in one old withering mans opinion.” I heard and turned to see the old maestor smiling before he started coughing. His apprentice dutifully went to care for him.

“Best to take the girl from here.” Luwin advised I nodded doing just that.

We walked around exploring for awhile it was larger than the red keep by far it did not seem as windy. We looked out the windows watching the snow fall. We much have been an odd sight staring at the snow when everyone else was used to it going about morning tasks.

I took my daughter to the great hall to break her fast it only took me two tries to find it.

Young Benjen sat alone at the high table eating his breakfast, his eyes were a deeper blue then his brother’s grey eyes, and there was something truly happy in them.

I lead my daughter to the high table.

“Good morning-do I call you princess or my lady?” Benjen asked thoughtfully. His brothers were rebels and that made him a rebel through and through he did not want to even by accident concede to the Targaryens.

“I was a princess long before I married.” I reminded and he nodded. It was funny to me how none of them seemed aware of Dorne, of the seven kingdoms we were closed off more then most, although we had thought the same of the north.

“Then my apologize princess.”

“It’s quite alright, how are you this morning lord Benjen?” I asked he smiled at being called lord. I assumed formalities were not used much in Winterfell.

“Alright, I have to go to my lessons, Rodrick says im not as good as brandon was when he was my age. I’m not even as good as Eddard was at my age.” He pouted.

“I am not a weapons expert by any means, but I know you should not compare yourself to your brothers.” I said a woman came and gave my daughter a bowl of porridge I waved my own away I could not bare to eat I felt as though I would be ill from missing Aegon, being separated from my baby caused a pain in me I had never known. I thought Rhaegar had hurt me but that was nothing like this.

“How do you know?” He asked his head tilted in curiosity.

“I have to brothers and they are as different as the moon and the sun,”

“Really?”

“Really but just because they are different doesn’t mean they do not have their place.”

“I want to be just like my brothers they are heroes!” Benjen confessed. “Brandon is fearless, he is strong and brave, Eddard is so honorable, he said he would bring back justice for father and he did.” Benjen told him.

I smiled at his obvious love of his brothers.

“They are great men.” Benjen proclaimed.

“I think you will be too.” I told him he seemed to be a good boy.

“Really?” He asked excitedly.

“Yes really, but I want you to be your own man do you think you can do that?”

“I’ll try.”

“Good boy. Do you know where your brother is?”

“Brandon is out ridding.” Benjen said simply in between bits of bacon.

“In the snow?” I asked surely that was dangerous.

“He likes to ride in the snow, Brandon is a great horse rider.” Benjen tells me he looks me over before smiling.” Would you like me to tell you more about him, since you are going to marry him?”

“Please.” I said simply not wanting to disappoint the sweet boy, I thought I knew all there was to know about Brandon stark.

“Well he loves to ride, he is by far the best swordsmen in our family, Brandon always knows what the right thing to do is, he remembers mother the best, he really misses her, Brandon likes to tease us but he would never let anyone besides himself mess with me, or ned and Ly………” The boy stopped he batted his blue eyes trying to keep the tears from falling.

I took the napkin from the table wiping his face. “You must really miss your sister and father.”

“I do.” He admits as he sniffles a bit.

“You are being very brave.” I promise him.

“Like a knight?” Benjen asked perking up a little bit.

“Exactly like a knight.” I promised. Looking to my daughter who was done now just playing with her food. I cleaned her off with another napkin. “Benjen could you tell me where the library is?”

“It’s right across the yard.” Benjen assures.

The idea intrigued me we came a very long way here through corridors and narrow passageways, but we had not been outside since we arrived. Apart of me longed for the light of day but another wondered if there would be any true light at all.

We went to the big wooden doors the guards skeptically opened them for us as we made our way to the library. Wind whipped through my hair and my daughter wind. It howled and hurt as it hit you. It was a sharp pain like how I felt without my son I pulled Rhaenys closer shaking myself as we hurried that way. Soon the pain made me feel numb all over like Rhaegar did. We were almost there when Brandon Stark. “What are you doing out here?” He demanded.

“we are going to the library.” I told him to my surprise he took off his cloak wrapping it around me and picked up my daughter Rhaenys usually would whine but instead she happily wrapped her arms around his neck cuddling into him like her was warm. His fur was incredibly warm, and I found myself pulling on it to wrap it tighter around me.

He looked me up in down with his usual cold look. “Follow me.” He said charging off as much as I wanted to just go to the peace of the library alone I did as bid already playing the obedient wife again as if it was yesterday I was Rhaegar’s obedient wife who was true and loved him and never got much in return.

Brandon took us back to the great keep turned into what seemed to be the lord of Winterfell’s study. It was a large chamber with a giant roaring fire near a huge almost black dark wood desk. The large chair was its opposite white wood with a scowling wolf carved into it.

A small old woman followed us in. “My lord you sent for me?” She asked.

“Take princess Rhaenys, perhaps dress her properly.” He said annoyed as he set Rhaenys down. Out of instinct I pulled her behind me ignoring how close I was to him.

“Nothing to fear, Nan will take good care of her. I know nothing better than babies! You’ll have her back in no time at all princess!” She promised and she was so giddy to care for a child I consented kissing my daughters head.

“I will see you soon.” I promised.

She was skeptical at first but then went with the old woman asking her is she liked cats. I looked back at Lord Stark who must have intended to speak with me if he already summoned the old women to take my daughter, but why.

He put his hand out and though I wanted to keep it I gave up his fur giving it back to him. For his part he threw it onto the chair. Brandon sat in the white chair and gestured for me to do the same with an annoyed sigh. I chose to sit by the fire and warm.

“You cannot dress the child properly? I am to be blamed for her freezing to death?” He said in that smirky arrogant tone. I looked him over, he had a handsome chiseled face even with the scars across it, his hair was a tangly, dirty mess. At least his beard was well trimmed though I was unsure how I felt about it we did not have them much in Dorne due to the heat.

“She does not have winter clothes; I was hoping to talk to you about that.” I had thought Dragonstone was unbearably cold and now I knew what true bitter coldness felt like.

“By all means get the child proper clothes.” He said looking through papers on the desk one seemed to annoy him he ripped it up before hitting his desk. I took a deep breath I had to stop seeing him as the enemy.

“That’s very kind.” I told him.

“It’s practical.” He growled back never looking up at me.

I heard my mother’s voice telling me you could never have a second chance at a first impression, but I had to ignore her now.

“I would like to apologize for how I behaved yesterday, I was upset-“

“Don’t, I won’t apologize, and I don’t expect one in return.”

“I want to move forward from that unpleasantness.” I tried but stubbornness seemed to be his nature.

“Why?” He asked his grey eyes feel on me, they were cold like ice, but it was more then that, I felt an eeriness as though I was being watched by a animal waiting for the slightest mistake to go for the kill.

I leaned forward trying not to seem as uncomfortable as I was. “We are going to be married. Would it not be nice if we were friends?” I asked watching the merriment and mockery enter his eyes. I suppose I should have not expected more. Rhaegar and I were not friends, he was congenial to me, but it was all formalities.

“I think I liked you better last night when you were meeting me blow for blow. Instead of this thing that you are not, this happy person going around trying to make everyone like you.” He said gruffly.

“Are you angry people like me?” I asked confused.

“They like who your pretending to be.” He assured but I wondered who he meant.

“This is who I have always been!” I promised trying not to let him goad me into another fight.

“It’s who you were mayhaps, now your different and angry all the time but for some unknown reason you have decided to play pretend, at least have the courage to not hid from the pain.” He scoffed as if I was so horrible for being kind.

“What happened-“ I started thinking long and hard about what happened to me how my life went wrong with a crown of roses. How I went from the prisoner of one king to another without thought and how nobody seemed to care about the horrors my children faced because they were dragons which was now the worst thing a person could be now.

“Weeping will not solve my problems.”

“I doubt anyone can solve your problems princess.” He scoffed with a smirk.

I stood up; this was not his being rude anymore this was him being terrible. “You won’t even try?” I asked breathlessly, I had planned to wait to ask until I could get him in a gentler mood but his uncaring attitude towards my baby being taken from me made me act on impulse.

Oddly his eyes suddenly seemed so hurt, so filled with pain he had to look away from me.

“Why rally a worthless cause?” He growled.

I tried to be a lady all my life, I was good at it and for the most I had enjoyed it. I always thought my mother would be proud. Through everything Rhaegar put me through I remained as dignified as I could, somehow Brandon Stark stirred in me a rage I could not shake.

“My son’s life is not a worthless cause! I do not care if it kills me, I will do everything in my power to save him because I love him and without my children there is not a point to anything for me-!”

“Princess-“ He interrupted and I was so tired of him interrupting me.

“ I thought you might understand that kind of love after what you did for your sister you went to the red keep and stupidly challenged the crown prince though as idiotic as it was it was brave and done out of love but now it seems every bit of goodness in you is gone.” I told him our eyes never faltering from each other’s gaze.

He was angry now I watched it flash in his eyes. To my surprise he kept his voice calm. “Are you quite done?”

I had not realized until he said something, but I was not. I walked forward towards him. “Are you truly so heartless you wish a baby ill! Because I assure you”

“We misunderstand each other.” He said as though it were simple.

“I thought it was a misunderstanding, but you were rude today as well!” I told him as the tears streamed down my face upsetting me more the last thing, I wanted was to cry in front of him again.

“No that you understand. When I said why rally for a worthless cause it was because I thought you were speaking of our impending marriage as the problem you wished to solve.” He told me my hand clasped over my mouth.

“Funny I had the same urge moments ago.” He muttered as he stood up and walked around the desk with my rage leaving me, I no longer felt so very confident and there was something very frightening about him stalking over to me with those animal-like eyes of his. He moved past me over to a pitcher pouring the contains into a goblet.

“I am so sorr-“ I started.

“I told you not to apologize to me.” Brandon reminded before pouring a second glass.

“I did not mean to-“

“Do you always apologize when you have done nothing wrong?” He asked coming back over offering me a goblet.

“Thank you.” I said politely which seemed to add to his annoyance.

“Most people are not as offended by manners as you are.” I said softly taking the goblet he pulled the closest chair to sit across from me while I warmed by the fire.

“Because an obsession with manners leads to girls like you.” Lord Stark said. I tried not to be offended by that, but I was unsure how not to be.

“I do not understand what I have done to displease you so I am sor-“I started he pointed to me.

“Sorry? That’s what you have been taught with all your fancy manners to always be sorry especially when it’s not your fault.” He said and I moved my hair out of my face nervously wondering if there was truth in his words. Instead I took a drink from the goblet and forced my self not to spit out the heavy liquid he chuckled as I choked down the strong mixture trying not to cough afterwards.

“Never drank Ale before?” He jeered.

“No, I have not……it’s interesting.” I told him.

“I suppose we should get on with it, once we have discussed the rules of our marriage so we can try to get back to the rest of what’s left of our broken lives.” He said drinking from his glass.

“Martial rules are unspoken ones.” I said repeating words I was once told without realizing it.

“Well let’s speak them it will be easier to hear that way.” He said simply.

“Here is what I do not want. You trying to change me in anyway to be a southern lord, you trying to change Winterfell in anyway. You will not scheme openly or otherwise. I do not think we need to pretend this is anything other then something forced upon us, no fake sincerity or apologies, or formalities. I do not want to be constantly pestered, in fact I do not see the reason for us to spend every day together Winterfell is plenty big enough for the both of us to exist separately.” He said bluntly.

“That’s what you want?” I asked.

“Yes, what do you want?”

“My son.” I said quickly only taking a moment to process that he was actually asking what I wanted.

“Try to ask for something more attainable.” He said coldly.

“You want me to ask for what? Pretty dresses while my son is the prisoner of a mad man?” I asked.

“No, I was the prisoner of a mad man your son is in Meagor’s holdfast with an entire staff of women catering to him while young Robert whores.” Brandon remarked.

“No, there is something cruel in Robert when it comes to Targaryens.”

“Can you blame him?”

“For shouting and taunting my babies, I can.”

“Ask to write your son then?” Brandon said.

“He cannot read.”

“Obviously someone would have to read it for him.”

“Nobody would.” I told him and he did not argue that point. “Am I not to write letters? I was hoping to correspond with a friend of mine.” I told him carefully, I sipped the vulgar drink to appear calmer but I needed to get word to my brothers, I was not going to outwrite ask for them.

“Not without my express permission according to the powers that be.” Brandon said.

“Would you give me permission?” I asked even as a child I was allowed to send letters without anyone’s authorization. I always enjoyed writing as a girl I practiced writing my uncle Lewyn in Kingslanding, he was a legendary knight of the kingsguard and he still always made time to write his niece, he was a good man who died in Rhaegars war.

I watched his grey eyes think it over.

“If you have something you need to send bring it to me and I will decide.” He said simply. “Now, enough outer things, drink the rest of that and tell me what you would ask of me.” He said slowly I thought of thousands of things, less abrasive, less stubborn or argumentative and then I realized what I wanted. I wanted to ask him to be kinder, but I pushed the thought away quickly not wanting to here his snark about such a request.

“I would like it if you could be kind to my daughter.”

“How about I just stay away from her.”

“Fine, I would like you to support me getting my son back should Jon Arryn or any other man ask you your opinion.”

“Fine.” Brandon said raising his glass. “To the happy couple!” He said finishing his and thankfully taking mine and drinking that to.

“Cheers.” I said and was surprised to see him smile, not in malice but in enjoyment.

“Lord Arryn wrote that you were witty.”

“He did? I am surprised.” I admitted I did not think Jon Arryn liked to dwell on my children and I. To sad for him I supposed. I looked over Brandon the only thing Jon had been correct about was him being tall, he was very tall.

“You have to tell me, did that old man ask you to marry him?” He jeered.

“That is not what he asked me, he was married during the war to Lysa Tully, did you not hear.” I asked ignoring the ache of my head.

“I suppose I should have read the letter Catlyen sent me.” He said with a uncaring shrug.

“You did not read your betrotheds letter?” I asked not believing even he to be that malice.

“She was not my betrothed anymore, she married my brother, for the alliance, to win the war, for the greater glory of her house, which is fine but to be honest I was uninterested in the details.” Brandon said lowly. His words seemed painful and I sympathized for him.

There was an uncomfortable silence before Brandon’s smile returned. “Did he ask you to be his whore?” He asked as a cruel jab, mayphaps it made him feel better about his own pain.

“If he asked me to be his _paramour_ , I would not be here lord stark.” I told him with a sweet smile he laughed in return.

“You like old men then?” He asked deviously.

“No, I like the idea of being in the vale, in an impregnable fortress with my children, an old man visiting very rarely with his attentions is hardly a terrible price to pay.” I told him

“ _His attentions_ try his old saggy-“ Brandon started with a wild smile.

I cringed. “Stop stop!” I told him but I couldn’t help smiling, this was this most painless time I had ever had with Brandon even if it was gross.

“That would have been apart of it princess.” Brandon teased. “You would have to see that old man in all his ancient glory.”

“I would have to see the canopy in the lords chamber or the inside of my eyelids, a few uncomfortable moments for safety is a visible price to pay.” I told him smiling at are teasing but he was no longer smiling.

“So, you would rather let an old man paw you then have to live in Winterfell with me.” He said and I sighed everything seemed so well and now it was bad again. I wiped the sweat from my neck my head pounded.

“Lord Stark please, I do not want to fight.” I told him tiredly.

“Well I do, come now you can say more horrible things about me, you have a gift for it.” He jeered

I stood up I felt a little to hot sitting by the fire. He got up to first in anger but something in him changed. I could hardly focus on it, I got up to quickly and my head was spinning my stomach felt turned.

“ELIA!” He roared before everything went dark.

The next thought I had was that my mouth was dry and that my eyelids were to heavy to open. I was to comfortable to be concerned about opening my eyes for the first time in a great while I felt warm and content my toes gently moved across soft bedding while my arms held onto a bundle of furs.

“So, you thought it best to give a frail woman who has not been eating ale and then try and fight with her?” Luwin’s unamused voice asked.

“I did not know she wasn’t eating!” Brandon’s rough northern voice barked it was closer than I thought.

“Then you have seen her eat?” A young voice said softly.

“Benjen I told you to stay out of here incase it’s catching.” Brandons voice growled.

“As I have said my lord, she is a fragile woman that needs to eat and rest, preferably without ale or yelling. She is not contagious.” Luwin said simply. “I need to go check on Maestor Walys, please excuse me.”

I just remember wanting them to all go away but instead of yelling I snuggled deeper into the warmth of the furs deciding there was something to be said for the northerner’s hard beds, something about it was comforting.

“Go on Ben! I don’t care what that harpy says I won’t risk you.” Brandon said firmly.

“If she was actually deadly ill you would not be so close to her, or let you touch her.” He said and a great panic arose in me. The warm hard thing under the fur was Brandon Stark, I wanted to yank away but I did not want to open my eyes to hear his japes. Instead I froze in my tracks.

“I told you, I put her on the bed, she shivered so I was wrapping my fur around her, while Luwin told me how terrible I am and she moved and grabbed my arm, besides I would take thousands of chances with my life Benny but not one with yours.” Brandon said sincerely.

“I think you like her!” The boy mused childlishly.

“I do not like her!”

“Shes beautiful and nice.”

“And a pain!” He growled to loudly searing the pain in my head I made a disgruntled noise; I opened my eyes deciding it was time to face him. There he was sitting at my bedside in all his heathen glory and I was still clutching his arm wrapped in the fur, I let got of it. “Sorry-“ I started.

“Don’t-I cannot do this again.” He sighed putting his large rough hand to my forehead.

I looked up at him but there was no malice in his eyes, his touch was almost comforting. “You aren’t warm why aren’t you eating?”

“How can I eat when I don’t know if my baby is being fed.” I told him softly.

“I will write Jon Arryn asking for the boy’s day to day schedule I’m sure he wouldn’t mind for a worried mother and my sizzling headache.” He said gruffly.

In his own way he was being nice. Our eyes held there gaze as if we were figuring each other out.

Only the noise of Benjen’s sword coming out of his scabbard and back in drew our attention. “Why don’t you make me stark!” Benjen said in his best Jamie impression before puffing his chest out proudly smiling as he pretended to be his brother. “Fine!” He moved his sword up again but let go to soon tipping his scabbard and his sword fell to the ground with a clatter.

“Gotta beat the sword Benny!” Brandon said smiling at his brother like I never saw him smile before it was pure love and happiness for that boy.

“How old were you when Rodrick taught you that?” Benjen grumbled picking up his sword.

“No one taught it to me, it’s not a move I rehearsed Jamie Lannister happened to make me feel like northern steel would improve his face.” Brandon said with a shrug like it was nothing but jut by how Benjen looked at him it was everything to him. He looked to me with those laughing blue eyes.

“I want to be just like Brandon when I grow up!” Benjen declared.

“You’ll be better.” Brandon muttered and I smiled it was so sweet how Benjen saw his brother as the brave hero but from Brandons face I could tell he no longer saw himself that way.

“Where’s my daughter?” I asked suddenly I wasn’t sure how long I was asleep.

“With nan last I saw she was listening to stories.” Benjen said

“Thank you lord Benjen you are-“

“Benjen, go back to your lessons.” Brandon said gruffly before adding. “So you can beat up all the southern knights when you get bigger.” Making Benjen grin. He bowed his head. “My lord, princess.” He said before running off.

“Would you like some water?” Brandon asked brashly I nodded sitting up.

He poured the glass. “I thought we discussed not making each other’s lives harder.”

“Is that what we were doing? I thought you were looking for a fight.”

“I was not.” Brandon said to my surpriseinstead of handing it to me he pressed it carefully to my lips.

“You always want to fight.” I murmured softly before drinking. It felt wonderful to drink water even if it was a little odd having someone hold the glass for me. When I pulled back, he took the glass away. I blushed wipping the water from my chin as though I wore an animal.

“For someone who hates to fight your good at it.” Brandon mused. He got up going over to the table returning with a bowl of stew.

“Eat this so I can go.” Brandon said bluntly handing the warm bowl to me.

My lips parted but no excuse came out.

“I could have it fed to you.” He mused Jamie Lannister threatened to do the same thing and had. Everytime I went to eat I thought of Aegon and no longer was able.

“Your son would want you to eat, he would want you to live.” Brandon Stark said surprising me. “You said something about it early not sure if he is eating? If you want him to be brought here you will have to be alive to care for him, I am not a nurse maid.”

“Would you help me.” I asked softly.

“Your asking the wrong Stark, my word would mean nothing to Robert but my brother Eddards might.” Brandon said uncharacteristically helpful.

“Will he be coming to Winterfell soon?” I asked hopefully already deciding I could write him if nothing else.

Brandon smirked but there was sadness in his eyes. “Were expecting him any moment. He is bringing back my sisters’ body so she can be buried properly.” The anger burned his voice.

“Rhaegars crimes are not mine and certainly not my childrens.” I told him quickly.

“You would not be in Winterfell if I thought you were, princess.” Brandon promised before nodding to the bowl. “Eat if you want me to send word for your sons schedule. You have to give to get princess, this marriage will be a partnership?”

My eyes widened seeing he thought his words were perfectly true. “You think you have been fair?” I asked.

“We negotiated terms.” He tried to remind.

“No, you dictated that I was going to not change anything here or bother you or do anything southern and then you asked me what I wanted.” I told him deciding he was the one who wanted a blunt wife. The irony that women in dorne get to speak there mind aside from me who was raised to be the perfect westerosi wife to a prince or great lord. The kind of wife they wanted in the northern kingdoms who held her tongue and always apologized no matter fault and Brandon stark was tearing down years of training in a day.

He looked at me then to the fire walking across the room stewing with every loud step before looking back at me. “What do you want to change about Winterfell.” He was worried and defensive of his home, but he was also trying.

“Not Winterfell.” I promised getting a glare and chuckled.

“I doubt you have it in you to change me princess.” Brandon said clutching at his chest for the jape.

“I would prefer if your hair was well kept.” I finally said I watched him process this he seemed weirdly pleased not by the request itself but by me finally asking for something personal.

“Only like pretty southern boys huh.” He said getting annoyed. No, I did not want that either deciding he would look odd clean shaven with fine cut hair.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Speak frank then, what do you want Elia, come on you’ve never been given this opportunity before I’m sure.”

“Not in the capital but in Dorne my words were as important as my brothers, they do not hate woman in Dorne. Frankly we do not hate bathing either.” I said but he still looked at me with confused grey eyes. “I would prefer you come to me clean.”

“Bathed?”

“Yes. Your hair may stay as long as you like but it should be clean, and mayphaps the edges could be trimmed it would be neater that way.” I tried wondering if he would allow such a concession.

“Fine. Anything else.” He asked I was surprised he stuck with his word and I decided to push.

“As my husband it is your right to be as harsh and mean and angry as you would like to me. I hope you could be good enough to respect me in public and addresses any failings I have as a wife privately.” I told him and something about him seemed soft or good I was not sure. He put his hand against mine. I was surprised and looked up at him.

“I am no prince, but I would never humiliate you like he did.” He said as though it was an oath.

“Then I’m grateful on both accounts.” I told him.

“Also like your daughter you will need new dresses, order whatever you need…… but there is a amore full of my mother’s dresses, you could have them if you would like.” He said.

“I couldn’t take your mothers dresses.”

“They are not being used, go ahead.” He said I wondered if this was an olive branch.

“That’s very kind.”

“You will have to shorten them she was taller then you. ”

“Alright I can do that. Thank you.”

“Good, repay me by eating. I will see to it that your daughter is brought to you.” Brandon said walking to the door before chuckling. “You want your children to be safe, for me to come to you clean, and to be given basic human respect. I must say, you did not have the high standards I imagined.” He said as always laughed like I was the biggest joke in the world. For once I did not mind so much. I ate my soup deciding this was as close to a victory as I have had in sometime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to give a glimpse of Elia's struggle but there is much more to come.
> 
> Also I promise there will be more Rhaenys I know she isn't super present in the first two chapters.
> 
> I sort of thought Brandon and Elia's ways of dealing with things would clash.
> 
> I don't know if you can tell but I really like a young Luwin who does not put up with Brandon's shit.
> 
> Thank you for the awesome comments I really appreciate them and I would love to know what you think of this chapter. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!!!


	3. Atonement

Chapter 3: Atonement

I opened the door quietly and motioned for Luwin to stop he gave me a drull look. It was not as if I was trying to catch Elia in her daily bath, it was the middle of the day I just wanted to see what she was like when she did not think I was there. If the wall of glass was always there or if it was only for me.

“There yes just like that!” Elia said happily.

I looked around the corner she was sitting in a chair sewing with a few maids I suppose she was probably lonely when she’s always had a staff of ladies all her life.

“I never known how to make something so pretty!” The girl Brina said astounded somehow by her own needle work.

“Embroidery is not too complicated. I like to sew little flowers on Rhaenys dresses.” Elia said she smiled anytime she said her daughters name as if she was so proud of this baby. She showed them and they smile.

“I have never seen a flower like that.” Gara said.

“They grow everywhere in Dorne.” Elia mused as always trying to hide her disappointment.

“MOMMA LOOK!!” Rhaenys called from the window pointing at the snow. She happily wore her new gloves inside.

I cleared my throat and the maids hurried up.

“Shouldn’t you be cleaning?” Luwin asked.

“It’s fine if they are accompanying princess Elia.” I said the maids smiled and bowed happily but Elia had her usual pout and unamused look I was getting used to.

“Alys take Rhaenys to play.” I told her she nodded they all went to the little girl; it did not matter that she was a Targaryen she was adorable and sweet making her the most beloved toddler in Winterfell. Just like how easily they were all excepting Elia, usually northerners aren’t big on foreigners, but she was good at winning people over.

“Is something wrong.” Elia asked. She wore a blue dress of my mothers it had a gray fur trim. She was a beautiful Dornish woman in all her bright exotic dresses but something about the muted blue and grey complimented her warm skin tone. She looked more beautiful then ever.

“No but your nuptials are coming up.” Luwin said and to Elia’s credit she did not shiver or tense up at our wedding as she used to. “And there is a silly matter of tradition.”

“Traditions are not silly Luwin, they are there for a reason.” I said looking into those beautiful black eyes that looked at me curiously. “In northern weddings someone related to the bride brings her to the Godswood. I know you are not related to anyone here, but I thought you might like to select someone to?”

“Alright.” She said simply she was usually agreeable, but it was the other traditions I worried about.

“After we are wed it’s tradition for the groom to carry the bride into the hall.” I told her Luwin sighed.

“A silly tradition your leg it not ready for.”

“It’s a short walk and she is tiny!” I hissed back.

“I am confused what my part in all this is?” Elia asked softly not sure why we came here to argue in front of her.

“Before we tried it at the wedding, we thought we could give it a go privately to see if I can do it, which I can.” I said.

Elia hummed slightly before getting up and putting her sewing down.

“Very well.” She said to my surprise something had been different between us in the past few days as though we were growing tolerant of each other. I knew she did not really want to be carried around like a rag doll now or at the wedding and she seemed to know this was important to me. I approached her gathering her and her dress up in my arms carefully trying to make this as painless as possible for her, one hand under her knees the other on her upper back her graceful hands wrapped tightly around my neck.

She really was easy to hold; it was kind of nice I looked down at her eyes she didn’t look annoyed just tired I wondered for a moment if she struggled to sleep like I did. The thought quickly passed instead my eyes went to her ever-pouting lips, I wondered if this was what it would be like carrying her to bed, her big eyes on me and her lips pouted.

“Why don’t you walk around lord Stark.” Luwin reminded I did as he asked nothing to taxing about it. Her hair smelled nice; I was told she bathed every day. A Dornish custom I assumed. It made sense they must sweat more in Dorne. She was not in Dorne anymore and I wondered if she would realize it was unnecessary or if it was a comfort to her mayhaps the last bit of home.

“Your hair is nice like this.” She says softly nan had a victory over me getting me to cut my hair. I dreamed of Aerys last night and his unkept hair and nails bothered me, it made me wonder if in turn my unkept hair bothered her. Or maybe it was as simple as her being a pretty southern girl and I a northern heathen she disliked my messy hair, either way I let Nan cut it short.

“Thank you.” I said as I spun around making her hair flutter about giving off the sent of her perfume, she smelled like lemons and flowers. I was surprised that she bit her lip to stop herself from laughing, I was also surprised by how endearing I found that.

“Alright that should do, how does your leg feel?” Luwin asked.

“Fine.” I said the cut stung but I was not giving on this, it was tradition and it was important, every other lord of Winterfell before me carried his wife into the hall and before lords the kings of winter would carry there queens into the first keep. My own father carried my mother into the great hall he always told us about it especially when we missed her. How they smiled and laughed the entire way in. How he told her not to be afraid of him and in true Northern spirit my mother said, “I am not afraid, but you may fear me if you like.”

Luwin did not seem convinced, I started to fumble as I put her down, we both collectively caught our selves holding onto each other for a brief moment before letting go.

“As I said-“Luwin started and before I could tell Luwin to go to hell she intervened.

“It was my fault maestor, I moved, and I apologize but I can assure you it was my mistake not lord Starks.” She said a lie, she was perfectly still. She knew it, I knew it and by his huffy face Luwin probably knew it to. “If I hurt lord starks leg how about you let him have his traditions if he agrees to any treatments for the wound that you see fit.” She said simply.

“Fine.” Luwin said with a nod.

“Fine. “I agreed. Jaeherys the conciliator could not have gotten the two of us to agree but she did.

“Good.” Elia agreed.

I saw her later that day after my ride.

I was bringing blizzard back in and she was out with her daughter who happily pranced around the yard.

“What are you doing.” I asked approaching the pair whose eyes were set on the sky.

“Looking for birds.” Elia said as though it were obvious. “Do any live in the north?”

I could not dignify that comment with a response she looked past me to Blizzard.

“He’s beautiful!” She said patting him with her gloved hand.

“Horsie Rhaenys squealed

“His name is Blizzard.” I said proudly looking at the white and grey horse with pride.

Elia laughed that airy laugh. “He’s cute and fat!” She squealed delightfully.

“He is not fat!” I said offended for my horse. “Garrons have to be big and **strong** to travel through the snow and in the mountains.”

“His hair is pretty braided like mine!” The little girl said I glared at her mother who clasped her mouth to keep from laughing but Elia’s merriment shone on her face.

“You should put ribbons in it, Gara puts ribbons in my hair!” Rhaenys exclaimed with the same knowing attitude of her mother.

“It’s not a braid with ribbons for girls it’s a warrior’s braid. It keeps its hair out of its eyes.” I explained.

“It is hairy.” Rhaenys agreed I decided the little know it all was cute. I lifted her up to see blizzard she hugged blizzards head who just gave me a dull look as if to ask why.

“Sand steads are not so hairy and often their manes are shaved.”

“That sounds ugly.” I teased.

“Not as pretty as Blizzard!” Rhaenys cried I am not sure why but I was very amused to have the child on my side.

“For speed,” Elia explained. “Dornish sand Steed are the fastest horses in the known world.” She told me with a proud all most cocky smile.

“A Sand Stead could not compete against your blizzard don’t listen to her. Stupid thing would break it’s foot in the snow.” I said patting the Blizzard with my free hand.

“Blizzard would only see a blur.” She assured before putting her arms out I handed over her daughter.

“Its cold.” She explained I nodded.

“You should take her inside.” I agreed and she took her daughter to the library.

Later in the day I was annoyed that I was look for her as though I was the raven that brought the message about her son. When I was walking across the court yard I saw Benjen kicking snow angrily and went towards him he began forming a lumpy snow ball throwing it towards Hullen the Master of Horses he was to far away but he looked in Benjen’s direction as he angrily tried to make another snow ball. Hullen began coming towards him concerned.

I got there first grabbing Benjen’s arm.” Drop it.” I told him and he did. I nodded at Hullen and he to me before walking away.

“What happened?”

“He said I don’t ride like a Stark. That you and Lyanna ride like you were born to it and its not something he can teach its just natural and I want to be like the rest of you so badly and I just can’t!” He said frustrated kicking the snow. He breathed a few ragged breathes he was upset, and I could do nothing to aid him.

“Ben-“ I started.

“Princess Elia said I would be a good man if I would be my own man, but I want to be a Stark.” He whined poor Benjen maybe because it felt like he held me together most days I forgot how much younger he was then the rest of us, how left out that must have made him feel, there was barely a year between Ned and I. Ned was three years older then Lyanna. We grew up together. Benjen was 6 years younger than Lyanna and she had not wanted anything to do with him at first because she thought it was his fault her mommy died. By the time he was old enough to play I was sent off to Barrowton and Ned was quickly after sent to the Vale. The difference was I could visit more often then Ned and when Benjen turn 7 I was coming home. There were not a lot of boys at Winterfell his age the closest were a few Cassel boys but from experience I knew those relationships were strained because they got to be children playing together but not Benjen he was the lords son and they would always remember that always treat him differently always hold him at a distance.

As I looked at his watery blue eyes I wondered if he were the loneliest boy to ever live.

“You already are a Stark ben you don’t have to try and be. But the princess is right too, you have to be BENJEN Stark not Eddard, or Lyanna, and certainly not Brandon. Alright?” I asked him.

“Alright.” He agreed with a sour look. “I still want to throw a snowball at Hullen.” In that moment I did to, but I shook my head.

“Forgiveness is important Benjen. Like Warlys forgave Eddard and I when we made a mountain of snow over a gate and dropped it on him. I want you to forgive Hullen who frequents the south gate, daily. Do you understand what I am saying Ben?” I asked watching his evil grin.

“I think so.”

“Good, because I would forgive you should you do something like a prank.” I teased him.

Benjen laughed happily before looking past me and freezing with wide eyes. I assumed Hullen caught us in our scheme but instead she stood there I was not sure how Long she had but she was there holding her little daughter in her arms, and she watched us.

“How much of that did you hear?” I finally asked she smiled sweetly at Benjen.

“I did not hear anything; I was with my daughter in the library all afternoon and then I took her back to the keep for a nap.” Elia said innocently as possible with a devious smile.

“I was with her giving her this.” I said handing her the scroll before messing Benjens hair.

“Be Benjen Stark, he is surely my favorite person.” I told him with a wink. I turned to Elia who was struggling with her grumpy toddler and wanting to open the letter now. I took Rhaenys who gave me a disgruntled look before snuggling into me and closing her eyes.

As we walked through the keep, she read and reread the tiny scroll, Jon Arryn was supposed to bring her the daily life of her son it looked as though there were only three sentences down.

“Are you-“I started realizing it was stupid to ask someone suffering if they were alright she looked at me with agony in her eyes and a fake smile on her lips.

“Would you forgive me if I made a snow mountain and pushed it onto anyone keeping me from my baby?” She asked.

“I would.” I promised as we got to the door of her room.

Her eyes were watery, but she was blinking and looking away and trying to fight it.

“What sort of pranks do children do in Dorne?” I asked for something to say.

Tears came down her face I wished I read the letter, but I did not want to ask. “I will tell you all about it another time.” She said hoarsely.

“Of course.” I agreed handing back the sleeping baby.

I went upon my business Elia ran the finances of Winterfell and I ran the unruly lords of the north, together we made one complete lord stark. We saw each other in passing but stayed out of each other’s way. It made me think this would be alright. The next time we spoke was a few days later.

I was in _my_ Solar, it still felt like my fathers’ room and my father’s chair. It was like I was still a boy sitting in his chair pretending to be the lord of Winterfell. I wanted to be the lord of Winterfell even as a young man before the war I thought I was ready, and I was so wrong. I could see him in the throne room. My father was dead, and I was solely responsible.

_I still could see him in the throne room after weeks of sitting in a cell I saw my father. I watched the relief wash over him when he saw me._

_Even looking up at Aerys in his giant Iron throne made to make other men afraid and feel small there was a silent great dignity to Rickard Stark. He remained unmoved like a weirwood._

_“You are here to answer for your son’s crimes?” Aerys asked._

_“I am.” Rickard said simply._

_“YOU DARE CLAIM HIM! “ Aerys started screeching randomly. “After what he did? He threatened prince Rhaegar the heir to the iron throne, in extension he threatened me your king! How can you claim him!” Aerys bellowed._

_He put his hand on my shoulder a court full of people were silent. “What he did was stupid and reckless because he can be stupid and reckless. Side effects of his good heart and bravery which lead him here after my daughter his sister was stolen away. I will take him home with me, see that he is disciplined but I will always claim him your grace. He is my son.” Rickard Stark said simply._

_“Then his crimes are yours.” Aerys declared._

_“No!” I shouted._

_Father only nodded he was the kind of man if something bad was going to happen it might as well happen and get over with. “I see and when will we be trialed.”_

_“No trial only death!”_

_“I demand a trial by combat.” Father said._

_“So, do I!” I told him._

_Varys ran to whisper in the king’s ear, but it was too late._

_“SO, BE IT!” The king screeched in his high shrill voice._

“Lord Stark I-“

“What!” I hollered looking up to see Elia with parchment.

“I wrote letters.” She said softly, she wasn’t afraid like the others when I lashed out her face was hard for me to read. Elia was always hard to read she kept everything pretty close to her chest. “Are you alright my lord?” She asked and I realized it was pity she walked towards me fearlessly as though I was a bunny rabbit.

“I’m fine.” I growled I wanted her to leave me alone.

“Your pale and sweating, “she said softly she had a hesitant look in her eye as she carefully put her hand against my head. As though she feared I would grab it or hit it away it made me wonder what all this delicate woman survived. Underestimating her was a bad habit of mine.

She frowned removing her hand from my forehead instead she leaned over and put her check to my forehead before quickly moving away. “Your clammy but you aren’t feverish.”

“H-how do you know?” I asked wondering why she did that and how she knew it worked.

“I’m a mother. Would you like some water.” She said simply.

“Ale.” I grumbled back she gave me a look as to say she was already tired of me and my vices. She walked over to the table and poured me a horn before bringing it to me.

“You shouldn’t be drinking if your ill.”

“Not ill.”

“Your sweating.” She reminded as though I could have forgotten since she last told me.

I looked her over she wore a yellow gown with thick gray trim, the colors were as different as imagine able and maybe it was A sign I was truly losing my mind. That I ran my hand across the trim on her sleeves.

Her black eyes darted at me for answers it was as though she was always on edge looking for the evil in everything I said and did looking for a hidden agenda or master scheme.

“This I recognize why do I recognize this? “ I asked.

“The dress is mine with some northern improvements like an under skirt, the trim is your mothers. You said I could take her-“

“I said you could take her dresses but I meant you could have all her things you are the next lady of Winterfell after all and my mother was a woman who hated waste she would have enjoyed you reusing this.” I admitted. Her face was concerned not the least because my fingers traced the lace along her sleeve.

“Are you alright?” She asked softly.

“Not sick, just…dark thoughts.”

“Oh.” Elia said simply the idea did not terrify her she actually nodded as though it made perfect sense. She handed over the horn.

“Should I leave you or would you prefer the company?” Elia asked like an obedient wife.

“Do as you damn well please.” I growled but was still startled by her calmness.

“I like to hold my children tightly when I have a dark thought.” She told me softly she was trying to help and I was not niave enough to think my pretty betrothed did not have dark thoughts after all she survived, I barely survived my time with the mad king that was nothing compared to her sentence, and the fact that her skin was unmarred unlike mine was not because she was a women, Aerys hurt plenty of women it was because she was much smarter than me.

She was waiting for ridicule one of my usual jeers, but I did not have the urge to push her away today, today I just hurt too much to try. She seemed to decide that was as much of an invitation to continue as she would ever get. “they are my purpose for surviving so having them close and smelling their heads reminds me of my reason to keep going.”

“You smell their heads?” I asked.

“That’s what you have taken from what I said.” She asked with an amused smirk.

“Often?” I asked and she laughed.

“I could identify my children blindfolded if I could smell their heads.” She said I hadn’t realized I was smiling.

“You like the smell?”

“I love it?”

“I cannot imagine children smell good.”

“They smell like mine.” She said simply she looked sad I imagined she was thinking of her son.

“I don’t have children.” I reminded making her look back to me. “So, I cannot do that.”

“You have Benjen, you love him. I saw you with him the other day it was very sweet.” Elia said.

“I do love him.” I agreed. “He would think I was the strangest person in the world if I were to smell his head.” I told him and she smiled.

“Two broken people shoved together, what could be a more horrid match.” I grumbled.

She gave me a tired sigh while she straightened the papers on my desk in an order, I would find to be things I should look at first to less important things. “We are going to be married. I don’t see the point in trying to fight it.”

“That’s why they didn’t call your side rebels.” I reminded her making her stop what she was doing and give me more of an annoyed look then a glare. “Would it be so terrible if we did not make each other’s lives harder, if we even aided each other where we could?” she asked tiredly.

“No that wouldn’t be terrible………..I am sorry for my behavior towards you I don’t know why I do it, I was raised to be a gentleman or well at least charming.” I said and she laughed that pretty laugh Before handing me the letters I briefly looked them over.

“Fine.” I said and she smiled happily. “I will have Luwin send them out he’s supposed to be coming by I have some raven scrolls of my own to send.”

“I told them throwing them in the same pile.” She was doing her best to stay neutral, just once I wanted to see what it was like for her to be ecstatically happy about something.

“Thank you.” She said softly before turning to leave.

A few days after Benjen and I decided to go on a short hunt. He grinned ear to ear he was chattering about life on the wall he was sure he was destined to have. As a Stark I knew the watch was important, but I was not sure Benjen belonged there, it was a hard place for hard people and Benjen was so very good.

Benjen got his bow ready when we saw a Snow Shriek flying out of a bush, he shot it midflight.

“BENJEN!” I cried happily.

“I hit it!” He said astonished.

I laughed “Of course you did. Your Benjen Stark.” I told him and he looked so proud. We dismounted to go look at it.

“Nice shot.” I told him the bird flapped as horribly Benjen looked pale as it spat blood. He looked horrified. I ended his suffering with a twist of the bird’s head.

“Is it over?”

“Aye.” I promised one of the men came with a sack to bag it, but I took it from him. “Do you want to do it Benjen?” I asked he nodded carefully taking the bird and putting it in the bag.

“Gale will have to cook it up tonight so you can eat your kill.” I told him and he smiled again until the bush started chirping.

“Benjen don’t” I told him, but he pulled the bush back to see the babies. He looked back at me with big eyes.

“We will need the other bag.” I sighed.

Luwin was waiting when we got back.

“Lord Bolton sends his regrets he will not be attending your wedding because of the birth of his son.”

“How will I ever cope.” I teased making Benjen laughed. “We might have to cancel the wedding.”

“The Mormonts-“ Luwin started.

“People will come, or they won’t, where is the princess?” I asked. He tried not to smirk.

“In the library.”

“She reads a lot.” I noted.

“Poetry not dusty old scrolls.” Benjen said gleefully. “She told me so, I don’t like dusty old scrolls either!” He told me I had noticed he seemed to enjoy her company.

“You too have so much in common you will be very happy together.” I teased getting a glare from him.

“I believe she was going over the books my lords.” Luwin corrected.

“Fine, I want her to dine with Benjen and I in my chambers tonight and tell her to bring her little girl.”

“Very well my lord.” Luwin said with an annoyed look we weren’t married yet it was an inconsiderate ask.

At least Luwin thought so, when Elia and Rhaenys arrived to see the little birds in one of the empty cages they brought Rhaenys got so excited she began shrieking and danced around before going up with Benjen to look at the birds and Elia smiled softly it was only a small smile but nothing about it was practiced or first. She followed her daughter over to examine the chicks, they were bigger for baby birds I talked to the kennel master he said he could easily feed them as well.

While I stole the cages Benjen collected things for them he came back with leaves and cotton stalks from the glass gardens as well as an arm full of Winter roses, I never really noticed how much Benjen looked like lyanna until that moment. I didn’t know how to tell him how much I despised those flowers even though they were so prevalent in the north and a part of our north, so I allowed him to add them to the cages.

“Birdies they are so cute I love them so much!” Rhaenys said happily.

“Birds can survive here?” Elia asked me softly something wistful in her eyes.

“The strong smart ones survive.” I told her and she nodded.

All through dinner they chirped which I found annoying but it delighted Rhaenys and Benjen I would even catch Elia staring at them and smiling softly, it was only better when she looked over to me and smiled as though I were not so bad after all. Her black eyes kept looking me over.

“How big do they get?” Rhaenys asked clever for a toddler.

“They won’t get to big, a little smaller than crows, when they are big, they will have to be separated out among the cages.” I told the toddler who just stared at me unsure what I was saying. I gestured with my hands how big I thought they would be, and she immediately understood happily leering at the birds. Her mother had to remind her to turn around and eat every so often.

I was surprised how much I enjoyed having dinner again with a toddler who would say whatever she felt like and Ben having to get in the most northern opinion he could summon, Elia’s witty musings added into the mix while she lightly picked at her food, it felt like having family dinners again. It almost felt like a family again.

After dinner Benjen let Rhaenys chase him around.

I looked to Elia from her place at my right.

“You should eat more. “I told her.

“That was very sweet with the birds.” She said softly.

“I think those birds will eat more then you.” I teased.

“Why are you doing this?”

“I thought you would like them.” I told her watching the little things squeak until her hand touching my arm brought my attention fully back to her. She nervously moved her hand away as though she thought she did something wrong. I saw the fear in her eyes and sighed taking her hand in mine, hers was dainty and smooth in my rough hand.

“I did not say stop.” I told her.

“Why are you being kind?” She asked quietly she was suspicious of people being nice to her as much as I was it would seem. Or maybe it was just me she was suspicious of.

“We agreed it would not be terrible if we aided each other.” I reminded her; her hand rubbed against mine feeling every callous. Her big ink black eyes stayed on mine. Her long curls framed her face her skin was a beautiful rich brown. She was a beautiful woman who was also kind, clever, and dutiful. I couldn’t quite understand why I ever thought marrying her to be a chore. Then I realized I hadn’t wanted to try because I no longer believed I would receive a women’s admiration as I used to. I looked her over she was not lovesick for me like Barbary, Catelyn and so many others and she did not adore everything I did like the other girls, mayhaps that’s why I had a growing respect for her, but because of the way she toyed at my hand I couldn’t help think she was not unwilling to try. I moved my free hand caressed her cheek tucking back her hair. She allowed this obediently but made no moves, I was about to give up when I felt the slight press of her check against my hand as she nuzzled it slightly still playing with the other one and it hit me. She liked my hands my calloused scarred hands. Every inch of her skin was soft and smoothed, and she liked my rough hands I couldn’t help the victorious grin that appeared on my face. Rhaegar’s hands were probably as soft as hers he was only ever a tourney knight after all.

I looked over to Benjen who was smiling stupidly at me but quickly decided to be helpful. “Come on Rhaenys lets take the birdies to their knew room.” Benjen said he took her hand and grabbed the bird cage with the other.

“I will come see you to bed soon my love.” Elia promised her daughter.

Then we were alone. That dark voice in my head that told me I could not be loved that it was just Elia trying to be pleasant her good manners and all. I started to move my hand away but her free hand moved over top of mind gently placing it back against her cheek laying there softly.

“I did not stay stop.” She muttered softly. Probably the two cups of wine and three bites of dinner she had I leaned forward to kiss her but we both stopped when the door opened.

“Excuse me my lord, but your brother Lord Eddard is here. He needs to speak with you urgently my lord. He brought back Lady Lyanna’s bones and wants them entombed as soon as possible.”

We suddenly pulled apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this story right now it's all I can focus on.
> 
> I really thought after getting to know her Brandon would start to admire Elia.
> 
> Please let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!


	4. Brothers

Chapter 4: Brothers

I was staring at the portrait of our family. My father was in the middle with a small but proud smile, he loved each of us with all his heart. To his right was his firstborn son his right-hand man. Brandon who was as handsome as he was smart my father told me before that Brandon was not just born to be the next lord stark, he may have been born to be the best lord stark yet. He was clever and knew when to show mercy, but he also had wolf’s blood. Something I always thought made Brandon rash, but father was sure gave him his instincts made him head strong. “And I will always support him, I will make sure his laws are upheld in the north, I would die for him if I must.” I had told my father as a boy and he patted my head proudly. _“You’ll make a fine soldier Ned!”_

I was never jealous of Brandon or envied his burden of ruling. Even if he was bull headed, I too knew he was the right man for the job, and I would stand by his side just like I was in the portrait. Brandon had told jokes the whole time to keep the rest of us smiling. It was a happy memory, but the same word kept coming up over and over again in my head as I thought of how Brandon’s been since we found him. _Was_ , he was the right man.

Two the left of father was Lyanna my heart sank looking at her, a blue rose in her hand and a radiant smile on her face. Next to her was Benjen the picture was only 4 years old, but he looked so little like a child instead of the man who held Winterfell during the war.

I heard thundering footsteps and incoherent shouting that told me Brandon was on his way. The large doors opened, and he stormed through them, the last time I saw him he was a bloody mess and his throat was so bruised he could hardly speak. Now he wore clean clothes fighting of the lord of Winterfell the only thing that truly stuck out was the silver chain around his neck. He had that on as well when I found him in the cell, fathers chain Brandon told me father put it around him the moment he realized he would die. I never thought Brandon would wear it again. Our father was dead and I knew who was to blame even if Brandon did not.

Brandon did not look particularly pleased but neither did the woman behind him. Still once he stormed over to me, I started to bow to my lord and in typical Brandon fashion he scoffed pulling me into a hug.

“Brother.” He greeted with a hard pat on the back.

“My lord.” I replied getting an annoyed look before bowing my head to her. “My lady.” I said.

“She’s a princess Ned?” Brandon said with a smirk he was thinking his mute brother still had no social graces when he once flourished in social situations. I knew she was a princess but I thought it was more appropriate to address her as the future lady of Winterfell that’s who I was bowing too not prince Rhaegar’s wife, or a princess of the country that fought for the mad king, if they had not mayhaps thousands would still be alive but they were stubborn till the end even after the Tyrell’s gave in, Dorne still threatens the peace because they can.

“It is quite alright Lady is fine.” She promised extending her hand gracefully, I knew the tradition it just was not one I preformed often so I was a little slow in kissing her hand trying to remember what Warlys said about these things.

I looked to her, she had a gentle pleasant smile on her face that suited her. She was nice enough looking I was assured Brandon would be pleased enough when I was told they would marry but now seeing them together they looked an odd match she was so small and dainty and my brother had always been a large muscular man. She was also so warm of a person and ever since his return my brother had a cold nature about him.

Jon’s screams had their eyes darting past me to Jon and the wet nurse from there place in the shadows.

“I am sorry Lord Eddard he slept for a little while.” Dela said. Jon had been screaming since he was born, I had to stall in Dorne to wait till he was old enough to travel and wait until news spread of Lyanna’s death before anyone found out about Jon. Then I had to return Dawn to Starfell and see to it that the tower of Joy was torn down and made into grave markers for the men who died there. The journey back was hard, and it seemed I took too long bringing back Lyanna’s bones because Brandon did not seem pleased with me when he arrived, now he was just shocked.

“It’s alright.” I promised taking Jon it was funny that he did seem to like me better than anyone else, sometimes I could get him to stop crying.

“This is my son.” I told them to their wide-eyed looks.

“I thought he was called Robb?” Brandon said confused.

“This is not Robb. He’s called Jon.” I said from their eyes she caught on before he did.

“Then who is Ro-you had a bastard?”

“Yes.” I told him trying to convey by my tone I did not want to talk about it. I was not a mastered liar.

“My noble brother cheated on his wife?”

“It was war Brandon; I recall you fathered a bastard or to just for the hell of it.” I reminded him before looking to the princess. “Excuse my language.” I said as Jon screamed.

“It is quite alright; may I hold him?” She asked.

“I would not want my son to scream in your face my lady.” I told her quickly.

“It’s quite alright, I am very good with babies perhaps I could help.” Elia insisted.

“That very kind but Jon is hard to warm up to people.”

“My son Aegon liked to be bounced, it always called him down.”

“Bounced how?” I asked as Jon screamed in my ear, I was feeling desperate.

“Let me show you.” She said reaching out for him I held him close thankfully Jon looked like Lyanna but had if there were any features he shared with Rhaegar or his siblings this was the woman who would know the only person left who could figure out the truth.

“That’s very kind but-“ I started.

“Oh, for god’s sake Ned would you just give her the baby she’s a woman she wants to see the baby what is so complexing about that!” Brandon snapped thankfully he just thought it was my lack of social skills.

“Oh of course my apologize.” I said no longer able to stall.

“I understand if you do not want strangers to touch your child.” Elia said kindly giving me an out as Brandon gave a glare to me to say I was being stupid.

“No, it’s fine.” I said having no other choice but to hand her the baby.

She held him close to her and started to actually bounce a little moving her heels up and down. Jon tried to fight it but when she began humming too his eyes started to flutter until sleep finally found him. 

“Where is Benjen?” I asked.

“I told them not to wake him.” Brandon said simply.

“He should be at his sister’s funeral.”

“We aren’t having my sister’s funeral in the middle of the night while it is raining.” Brandon more ordered then said, he had a way of doing that.

“I brought our sisters bones they should be immediately laid to rest.”

“Lyanna hated rainstorms they terrified her as a child!” Brandon barked making Jon scream again. His wife just rocked him in her arms I was nervous by the way Elia watched Jon. Brandon was right I was sure she was just a woman happy to look at a baby, but I was still nervous.

“Would you please help his wet nurse take him to his nursery.” Brandon asked his bride.

“I wanted to speak with your brother.” She said softly.

“Speak to him tomorrow.” He said abruptly.

“Goodnight Lord Eddard it was lovely to meet you.” She said quietly.

His eyes looked to ask if I was okay, but he never actually did.

“If we will not bury Lyanna I will go to bed.” I told him simply.

“Does Cat know?” Brandon asked. I felt an odd rage in my chest hearing him call my wife Cat. I should not after all she was supposed to be his wife. That was the plain he was well within his rights to ask about the woman he thought he would marry.

“I came straight to Winterfell.” I told him. “I expected her to be here.”

“Yes, that would not be awkward.” He jeered in but not in Brandon’s usual way, there was so much malice in his voice.

“I expected you to keep her safe despite any awkwardness.” I told him he gave me a glare that wordlessly asked who I was to reprimand him.

“Second sons of house Stark have often been granted holdfasts. Do you remember the keep mothers father had? It was past Deepwood Mott, brown stone, small but solid.”

“I do not remember grandfather at all let alone his holdfast.” I grumbled; Brandon was only a year older then me but he had so many memories I did not.

“It is not where I mean to have you stay forever but it’s the best I could do at the moment.” Brandon said simply.

“And my lady wife is out there alone with our boy?”

“She isn’t alone the guards her father had sent her with, guards I sent her with, her handmaidens, nurse maids for Robb, even two Septas I believe. They will care for her.”

“You should have cared for her.” I told my older brother, but he never missed a beat.

“I would have but she married you.” He reminded. When I was in Dorne I had decided to make this right. I would join the nights watch and Catelyn would be the same as my widow. She could marry Brandon or another great lord, Robb could be raised at Winterfell as heir apparent. The last time I saw Brandon he was in so much pain, the bruises on his neck barely allowed him to speak and he had been incredibly angry and would fight anyone who touched him. I had not expected him to have children of his own. It was going to be for the best until Jon. Jon was my responsibility and I could not leave him especially not with Elia Martell.

It was early in the morning when Brandon sent for me. I found him and Benjen in the godswood all black.

“Where is your betrothed?” I asked the lady of Winterfell had a duty to be here.

“I told her not to come.” Brandon said his focus on the coffin.

“What?” I asked unsure why Brandon would do that.

“It seemed simpler than the screaming yelling and fighting that would take place if we did this together.” Brandon said we kneeled Infront of Lyanna and our Godswood it was the last time she’d see the gods wood.

Brandon got up first, the men came forward, but he waved them away. “Come on Ned.” He said and I did not understand at first, Brandon’s mind worked in mysterious ways, but it always worked quicker. I smiled when I realized.

Lyanna was a Stark and she would be buried by Starks in his own way Brandon did not want strangers touching Lyanna. We are the people left alive who loved her, we are her family we should bury her.

Benjen went to quickly to Brandon’s side helping him lift it. I forgot Brandon had a bad leg, I forgot Brandon could not do anything like I imagined as a child.

It was unorthodox, I knew that as we placed her in her tomb. I also knew Lyanna would love it. Or at least I thought she would have. I felt like I barely knew her anymore. I didn’t know the girl who ran away with a married prince, who let us believe she was abducted. She didn’t mention father who died trying to save his children or Brandon who had been so willing to die for her he probably would have preferred it to how he was now, or that Robbert and I rebel against our king and sent thousands of men to their death for her, if she had regrets she did not share them with me she talked about her love for Rhaegar and of course the name she wanted for Jon.

_“He already has a son called Aegon?” Just slipped off my tongue in the confusion of the moment._

_“This is his true son Aegon! Not a brown boy born of a Dornish savage.” Lyanna said the prejudice was learned, from Rhaegar I imagined. Lyanna had never met a Dornish person before and she never hated anyone before, but I saw the hate in her eyes._

_“She is still princess Rhaegars first wife and the lady of Dragonstone my lady, your sister wife.” The Dornish handmaiden said softly. Rhaegar and Lyanna could say whatever horrid things they liked about Dorne but Rhaegar brought her here for a reason. Dorne was always going to be the last to give in the last Targaryen stronghold and it was not for Lyanna or Rhaegar.” I noted Lyanna handmaidens’ words just as I did Lyanna calling out for Rhaegar when I first entered. Ser Arthur never told them Rhaegar died. He probably worried Lyanna would lose the babe. She was pale and weak, but it did nothing to stop her rage. “I would rather see Elia dead then call her my sister.” She muttered I wanted to tell her Elia and her children may die because of the war she started but all her strength seemed to leave her when she said, “Promise me you will care for him Ned.”_

As we all stayed in perfect silence, I decided the truth about Lyanna the horrible truth would be buried with her and I alone would be burdened with it.

I don’t know how long we stayed like that.

“Come on, let’s go drink ale.” Brandon told me finally and I nodded.

“Can I?” Ben Jen asked Brandon.

“Today you can drink as much as you want.” Brandon promised him.

We followed Brandon back to father’s office. Brandon’s, I had to remind myself. Benjen poured the glasses handing one to Brandon and then me before keeping one for himself.

“To Lyanna!” Brandon said and we drank it was the last thing he said for a while Benjen and I sat by the fire. I asked how his lessons were going and he chattered about for awhile.

“Ned is Jon a Stark or a snow?” Benjen asked and I looked to Brandon whose grey eyes were now looking at me for an answer. I had led men into battle, I led men to there doom and yet my big brother looking at me like that still made me fall silent without a word to say.

“He’s a bastard because he was not born from his wife.” Brandon said as if it was the simplest thing in the world. “Unless you mean to have your friend make him a Stark?” Brandon asked me as he poured another glass.

“He’s a bastard Benjen but he is still a member of this family, a member of house Stark.” I told Benjen his big blue eyes stared loyally at me as he nodded. He looked at me the way I use to look at Brandon. Adoringly, like I was a god.

“Just like Cat, she’s a member of this family too.” Brandon reminded his foul temper flickering up. Was he really going to pretend he would not have strayed from Catelyn? That he would not charm some pretty girl like he always did, like he did when he was engaged to Cat. I felt the pain like when ice hits your face when your ridding.

“Just like princess Elia will be.” I said back getting him to stand up and I joined him without a second thought. Brandon was many things, but he had not been cruel, not before but I worried about how he was treating this girl.

“So that means soon there will be six Starks and a Jon is practically the seventh, that’s more then before the war. So, I would not be missed if I were to join the watch.” Benjen said softly.

Brandon and I were about to fight here in fathers’ solar tooth in nail and now it melted away. Brandon chuckled and I almost smiled.

“That’s what this is all about?” I asked.

“You realize Ned and I were about to attack each other, right?” Brandon said.

“I don’t want that!” Benjen said quickly. “I just want to be a man of the nights watch!”

Brandon and I shared a smile, no matter how different we may see things we both loved Benjen.

“I think you will be a great man of the nights watch.” I told him and he beamed his joy.

“When he’s older.” Brandon agreed hesitantly.

“Why wait he isn’t a boy anymore?” I asked.

“He is a boy! He is my baby brother!” Brandon snapped.

“He won’t be fighting wildlings tomorrow. He will be trained there, and of course he better be the best recruit he has to be he’s a stark.” I said Benjen looked up at me so hopefully.

“Would you let him go if you were the lord of Winterfell?” Brandon asked evenly and I was relieved to see he was finally ready to except some help. Benjen’s hand clasped my arm excitedly.

“Yes, yes I would.” I told him giving Benjen a proud look.

“Well.” Brandon said sitting back down in fathers chair. “Finally, something to live for.”

Benjen’s face fell. “May I be excused.”

“If you run off to the wall, I will drag you home in front of everyman there, it would be quiet embarrassing.” Brandon warned making Benjen storm off.

“Your being mean to him!” I told him and he was hardly the only one.

“I am protecting him!” Brandon raged.

“What he isn’t ready Brandon because he isn’t you? Is that why you are so disappointed in me because I am not you either.” I asked slamming my hand against the desk getting his full attention.

“I want him to be better than me, I thought you already were. I will admit that was my mistake.”

“What is that supposed to mean!” I howled.

“It means having a bastard is something I would do not you! She should have been better off with you. You should have taken care of her, if that fucking honor of yours didn’t compel you too, I thought a love for me would have!” Brandon growled and there it was.

“I have no excuse for what I have done, and I will not ask for forgiveness either. I suppose you will do right by your lady wife?” I inquired.

“I never had the honor you did, and certainly not for love of Rhaegar Targaryen.” Brandon says.

“She does not deserve your cruelty and disinterest.” I reminded.

“Finally, something we agree on!” Brandon said clapping his hands together.

“I would like to be excused my lord.” I said gritting my teeth.

“Fuck you, sit down.” Brandon said pouring another glass of ale. “It must be hard, Ned. I get that it must be hard following after leading, after being the lord of Winterfell.” Brandon said pouring me a glass.

“It is.” I admitted, I could not believe he understood.

“Well, tough shit. You will not put ideas like that in Benny’s head again. You will be good to Catelyn Tully. And you will be a great father to both of your sons do I make myself clear?”

“Yes.” I said like I was ten years old again.

“Good get out.” Brandon said coldly. I was sure now I should not have left him to go find Lyanna.

That night I had comforted Benjen and promised I would talk to Brandon when he was less angry. I walked across the empty halls these rooms were reserved for the members of house Stark and even though Benjen felt there were plenty it seemed empty.

The door to my aunt Branda’s old chambers opened, to my shock. I stepped back and grabbed my sword handle some sort of war training. Brandon came out with a reluctant princess Elia following him clutching tightly to her wrap.

“You’re the most peculiar man.”

“I take that as a compliment princess.”

“It is late Lord Stark, what is it that you want.”

He muttered something I couldn’t quiet make out, but it startled the princess and I went over to her aid. Being near Brandon I could smell the ale on him.

“Brandon.” I called.

“It’s late Ned can we fight in the morning.” Brandon asked he stared at Elia who avoided his gaze looking instead at me, there was something desperate about how she looked at me like she needed my help.

“Then you should go to bed.” I told him quickly he looked to see if that was a challenge. “Good night lord stark.” Elia said softly after a moment he moved.

“I should also go.” I told her quickly I realized under her wrap was a sleeping gown and we should not be out here anymore then Brandon should have dragged her out of her room.

“Yes of course but I would like to speak with you soon Lord Eddard.” The princess said softly.

“Tomorrow, above the yard in the morning when Benjen practices. “ I told her before leaving.

“Your brother is very good.” Her thick accent said I turned to see her behind me she walked toward putting a hand to the ledge.

“Soon Jon And Robb will be sparring.”

“Jon will not stay at Winterfell?”

“Jon belongs with me.”

“And your lady wife?”

“I do not know how she will take it.” She kept her face free of any judgement.

“I could write her; I will be her sister by law and lady of Winterfell soon. It might be better coming from me, someone who…. understands.”

“Someone who understands being disgraced by there husband?” I assumed she meant.

She immediately looked down and then out anywhere besides at me it seemed, she breathed in deeply before continuing. “Jon is not a disgrace he is only a baby. You forget I am from Dorne my lord; we do not despise them there.”

“If it were your husband you might feel differently.” I reminded trying to be fair to cat before realizing whether she knew it or not it was her husband.

“As you implied, there are worse things a husband can do to a wife.” Elia said softly and I could not let her suffer anymore.

“I am sorry if I offended you.” I offered it was never my intent, maybe I should not have brought up what Rhaegar did.

“You did not say anything that was not true, or that I did not know for that matter. I do not think there is a woman alive whose husband has besmirched her more then me.” She admitted but she was not to dower she even smiled at the end saying. “Maybe a correspondence with me would make Catelyn feel very fortunate indeed.”

That was it she was a good person; I wasn’t sure if Brandon was, but she was a good person and she did not deserve to be hurt again by another husband. It seemed Brandon would do so over and over again. She did not deserve that; Catelyn did not deserve to think I broke my vow to her either but at least it was to protect Jon not for the comfort of a Tavern wench. After what Lyanna did to this woman I could not let Brandon hurt her more.

“I am going to help you princess.” She looked up at me with such joy.

“You will?” She asked breathlessly.

“I am going to write Robert and ask him to ask him to give you to another man. Lord Manderly, Hoster Tully, someone who already has heirs an older kinder lord.”

“That is how you want to help me?” She asked confused.

“My brother has been darkened by his experiences.” I told her she walked closer to me.

“I was hoping you would write the king about my son. My little son Aegon is being held in the holdfast like he is a prisoner of war and he is just a baby who has done no wrong. My children are all I need Lord Eddard.”

“Your son is the heir to house Targaryen.” I reminded her stepping back. She was lucky the boy was still alive. There would be no pushing Robert on this. If it weren’t for Jon Arryn promising Robert, the Martell brothers would build an army in protest; he would have made her a silent sister along with her little daughter. And for the boy there was talk of worse.

“Your son will stay in Maegors holdfast till he is old enough to become a man of the nights watch, maestor, or Septan.” I told her not out of cruelty but because it was honest.

She looked about to cry.

“I do want to help you princess.”

“I only require my son.”

“My brother is not kind to you.”

“Your brother is hardly the worst thing to happen to me.” She promised dismissing it immediately. “I miss my baby; he isn’t just a Targaryen he is mine! Rhaegar didn’t even want the children he abandoned us, they could be called Martell’s or bastards for all I care I just want my son!”

“I wish I could help you with your son, but I cannot. I can however help you with the rest of your life. An older gentler husband would suit you better then Brandon, I know he isn’t kind to you.” I told her.

“Unless your brother wants me gone, I see no reason to leave. Your brother acts before her thinks, is often snappish, and very easily irritated. But he is also brave, he stands up for what he believes in and he promised to protect my daughter which is more than I would get from any _kinder_ man who does isn’t strong enough to stand up for what’s right.” Elia said with glaring black eyes, but she sounded like she was going to cry.

“Tell me Brandon is kind to you?”

“He is kind enough, believe me I have enough pretty lies and false friends in my memories to last a lifetime, your brother is many things, but a liar is not one of them!” Elia said angry and upset she seemed about done with me.

“I can have this wedding stopped-“I started it was a stupid Idea of Jon Arryn and Robert to put them together just to get them out of the way. I thought Elia was soft and sweet until she could not get her son, now I was seeing she was broken maybe differently then Brandon, but she was.

“What’s going on.” Brandon cut in coming up from behind me. I turned to face my brother, but Elia just clasped the railing for strength.

“I can explain.” I told him.

“I wasn’t asking you.” He said pushed past me. He went to Elia; I was worried but only for a moment. Until I know saw what I did not see in the dark of the night. The way he looked at her. I knew by the way he looked at her he didn’t hurt her. I was startled to see how taken with her my brother seemed to be. His hands went to her shoulders turning her away from the railing to look at him as tears streamed down her face. “What happened Elia, what’s wrong.” He said softly like a lover.

“He won’t write Robert; he says the king will never give up my son.”

“You said he wanted to help you?” Brandon asked I wondered when he spoke to her since last night. It was early in the day I wondered if he went back into her chamber. I realized since she was the one with news, she probably went to him.

“He thinks that I want to get out of the marriage.”

“Mothers tend to long for their babes more then they want to get away from me.” He told me with a glare. “Elia I am sorry.” He said softly his hand fluttered threw her hair brushing out the snow before putting the hood of her cloak up.

“Even if I agreed to be his warden to make sure he never leaves Winterfell still?” Brandon asked.

“Still.” I told him honestly. Brandon’s word would mean as much as mine when it came to the Targaryen boy.

Elia looked like she was going to fall down she clutched Brandons shoulder. “apologies my-“She started but his hand was already around her keeping her up right.

“Don’t apologizes” He told her she nodded, I wondered if she shared the same tenderness for him if so, she did not express it but she did leave her hand embedded in his fur.

“I beseech you lord Eddard, anything Rhaegar has done Aegon has not, anything I have done he has not he is a babe just like Jon!” Elia reminded. She did not know how to give up just like Brandon.

“I cannot change the kings’ mind as much as I want too.” I told them as Brandon glared and scoffed before shacking his head at me. I had no idea how we got here when we once were so close.

“You’re within your rights to be angry with me but. Don’t take it out on Benjen.” I said and as soon as it came out I knew the anger it would inspire, I was shocked by who was the one to show it.

“How dare you say that to him, he loves Benjen with all his heart!” The princess said before looking to Brandon. “Why would he say that?” She said looking to Brandon.

“Ned thinks I am not deciding what is best for Benjen by not letting him go to the wall.” Brandon explained.

“Yours is the opinion that matters, you are lord Stark and he is apart of your household.” She reminded. His hand went to her cheek and she touched it gently the first sign off affection she showed him.

“You will write Robert about the boy coming here, because you know it is the right thing to do, because you know the boy is not safe in Kingslanding, because I am your brother, or because I am ordering you to I do not care which.” Brandon said finally and as much as he meant it he really only spared me a glance.

Elia’s eyes went wide she looked at me to see if I would destroy her hopes.

“As you wish my lord.” I told him and watched her smile and the grateful way she looked at my brother, her smile caused him to smile which Brandon had not seemed apt to do anymore. She began explain her gratitude to him and I think it was the first time Brandon got to feel like the hero in along time. I would write Robert though it would do no good to reunite a mother with her son. It would however moved Brandon and Elia closer together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me! I love Ned but I think Brandon and Neds relationship is really strained and neither of them really know how to talk about it. That and the fact the Eddard can make snap judgement, Brandon's anger, and their differences about how they see Benjen would all add to the chaos.   
> Thanks for the awesome reviews guys! And thank you for reading I would love to know what you think.


	5. Arrival

Chapter 5 Arrival

Guest poured in every day. Guests coming to a wedding they did not want, a wedding they felt forced on northerners by a southern king their kin died to put on the throne. At least that’s how they felt coming to Winterfell before they met Elia.

The Manderlys adored Elia she had perfect southern manners like them, the new Lady Hornwood was a Manderly by birth, Donella and Elia were fast friends. Along with Lyessa Flint whose son Robin was about the same age as Rhaenys. I was surprised to find even Maege Mormont liked her.

Maege brought her little daughter Dacey who was a little older then Rhaenys but they seemed to be fast friends.

Leona Woodfeild and Jonella Crewyn also followed after Rhaenys though at 10 and 13 they were much older than her I am sure their fathers insisted upon it to distinguish themselves to me. It was my fault really Rhaenys had ran up to me at breakfast a few mornings back and I sat her on my lap, and we ate together and now we did this every morning. They must think me caring for Rhaenys means she is the way to my heart. Anyone looking for affection between Elia and I would be properly disappointed, including myself.

She was busy being a good host while I try and stay in my solar away from my people. Even still playing princess is only an act for Elia, she is focused solely on getting her son back.

The only time I see her is when she barges into my study asking if the king has sent word. Those big black eyes always left disappointed. I read over Ned’s letter myself, he did exactly as he was instructed. Ned had always been a good soldier who did good with orders, but I knew Ned would not do anything against his honor even if he was told too. It made me think he knew it was right in his heart that Elia have the chance to be reunited with her son. Ned seems to think the baby is safe in kingslanding that though Robert huffs and puffs he would not kill a baby. Elia did not share this opinion she believed her baby was in danger. I did not want to make it a habit of siding against family even when the opposing party moved like Elia; however, I was never fond of Robert. I never thought him good enough for Lyanna. Father once asked if he died before the marriages if I would see it through, an obvious test. I told him I would marry Catelyn Tully but I would not make Lyanna marry that boar.. He only chuckled at his wild son..

I wondered if Ned and I would ever see eye to eye again. Even before the war we were apart for some time. He did not know Benjen like I did. He thought Benjen was ready to go to the nightswatch at 12 because he could have gone to the nights watch at twelve. Benjen was not like Ned. He wasn’t like me either, he was good.

With all the guests coming in Eddard left to go get Cat himself for the wedding or start begging forgiveness I wondered. It was fine we weren’t talking anyways. It would Be easier to keep from Benjen this way.

The creaking of the door drew me from my thoughts. She came in like she does most days, nobody could say she was anything but breathtaking in the cooler colors of house stark. Something about the way the sky blue dress contrasted with her warm skin tone. Like she was a Stark and a Martell all at once.

“Have you?” She askes quickly not even saying it anymore I think it hurt her more to say it.

“No nothing yet.” I told her and it hurt me to always watch her try to conceal the blow. Even more since I saw her beyond the mask when she smiled so gloriously when I told Ned to write Robert when she thought she would get her son back.

“Of course.” She said she stayed in front of my desk when she usually left swiftly after.

“Is there something else?”

“Your lords are asking for you.”

“I don’t want to see them.”

“Why?”

“Because I am the reason there brothers, sons, and cousins are dead because of my rash behavior.” I told her looking up at her.

“You are not the reason.”

“Believe me princess I am as much to blame for the rebellion as Prince-“

“You are incorrect on that account, Lord Stark.” She intervened I was shocked she interrupted me she was usually to polite. She walked around the desk to my surprise until she started to fix the collar of my shirt. “You only reacted to what _he_ did, so without his rash actions you never would have done yours.”

“A philosopher are you princess, are you going to explain all my problems.” I asked as she continued fussing over my attire.

“May I speak freely?”

“Please do, I would prefer it.”

She smiled a little bit. “Your main problem is that you think you are much more special then you are. Everyone was upset by what happened not just you, your not even the only angry brother who wanted to kill him.” She said, she never talked about her family much at least not to me. I decided to see how far I could get.

“Which one, you have to I believe.”

“Oberyn, my younger brother. I believe the two of you would get along well.”

“Really why?”

“He’s a warrior like you. He is extremely loyal to his family like you, and he’s have mad like you.” Elia said she was actually teasing me and I loved it I couldn’t help but smirk. Her hair was getting in her way so I move it back behind her ear.

“Your other brother wasn’t angry?” I asked not wanting to stop this moment of connection with her.

“Doran was very angry, but he is……….a learnt man and instead wrote _Him_ about the decisions he was making.” Elia said looking me over deciding I was now decent stepping away.

“Come on you cannot avoid them forever, everyone out there would proudly die for anyone named Stark, this is not the time to hide this is the time to grieve with them.” Elia told me.

“Has anyone told you that you would make a splendid Lord?”

Elia smiled. “They should.”

“They should,” I agreed getting up. “I like it when you speak freely I’d like you to do it more often.” I told her offering my arm and she took it.

We walked out and I found she was right, my lords loved me even as they mourned family members.

We were soon separated as she went off with the women and her daughter. I had always been told southern women did not spend much time with their children especially when they are young but Elia could not be separated from her daughter for long. I wondered if it was because of what happened to her son or if that’s who she was as a mother. I wondered for a moment as my lords merrily drank if Elia would keep my child so close to her and then I remembered we would never have a child. I didn’t not find it disappointing when I was told I would marry her. Children had always been apart of the plan as the heir to Winterfell it was my duty to continue the line but with Eddards young family and Benny that wasn’t necessary. Still something changed, it wasn’t that I wanted children but the idea of having children with Elia had merit. Not that we could. Even if Elia could get pregnant which I was told she could not. I doubted I would be a good father. I couldn’t even make decisions for Benjen without being tested.

Benjen for his part was still angry with me but happy to have people at Winterfell especially men who fought in the war he loved to hear the stories as young boys do. As I did of the war of nine penny kings.

I went to found Elia later in the day, she was in the library with Donella on oneside of her holding Rhaenys and Lyessa on the other holding Dacey Mormont and tickling the wild tot. Elia herself held little Robin flint in her lap.

I watched in the door way for a moment as they whispered and laughed.

“Are you here to ruin all our fun.” Maege Mormont asked I turned to see her behind me.

“Just watching. Are you really having fun or are you just being nice?” I asked knowing she would tell me.

“Ha! You should talk to my dull nephew; he doesn’t believe I have it in me to be nice. I do not sugar coat shit lord stark you’d be good to remember.”

“It makes no sense for you all to get along.” I said simply. Barbery avoided other girls like the plague, Cat only had one sister and they bite with their words harder than bloodhounds. Lyanna always complained other girls were to girly. Yet these four very different women seemed to get on very well. Maege was wilder then me, Donelle was a Manderly and by nature they held themselves apart or above others, and Lynessa was the ruling woman of widow’s watch.

“What do we all have in common Brandon?” she asked rolling her eyes though it were obvious.

“Nothing I can think of?”

“We are all mothers Brandon.” She explained.

“Donella is not a mother her daughter died.” I reminded getting swat by Maege who did not care if I was her liege lord.

“A mother is a mother for the rest of her life since the moment she knows about her baby in her belly.” She told me hitting my shoulder again. Maege was not a formal woman one of the things I liked most about her.

“And it is not for a mother to hate another mother when we go through many of the same trials and tribulations, well unprovoked anyways.” She continued.

“You believe that?” I asked.

“Oh yes any mother who hates another mother for no good reason doesn’t deserve to call herself a woman.” Maege told me moving past me back to the other woman. “Alright come on give me a baby!” She declared making the others laugh. I watched how Elia was with them how good she was at talking to them and how much she cared about each and everyone of their thoughts and opinions.

Maybe that’s why they had been kind to her at first, but Elia had one each of them over because that was who she was.

I was getting tired of this middle ground Elia and I were stuck in, I wanted to be more with her. I was also not good wanting something and not taking it.

Everyone was at Winterfell earlier then strictly necessary. Luwin had the idea we marry early so we do not have to put up the cost of housing everyone and it was Luwin’s first idea I liked.

I decided to ask Elia what she thought one morning. She liked it when I asked her opinion and through luwins daily checkup of my wounds, and breakfast without her I kept thinking it odd we hadn’t even kissed yet and that I should surely rectify that. I went to her rooms knocking because I knew she did not like when I barged in.

“Go away.” Her accent called it was thicker then usual and it sort of sounded like she was crying.

“It’s me.” I told her receiving no reply. So much for my tried manors I opened the door.

The door to see her crying on the floor by the fire. She looked up at me.

“You did not want to even ask me about the ravens?” I asked. Her eyes were a deep red from crying she never looked away from the fire, but she held up an opened scroll before once again wrapping her arms to hug her knees close together.

“What did Robert say?” I asked.

“Not Robert, Lord Dayne informed me of the death of his brother and sister. I thought Ashara was returning my letter when I saw the seal.” Elia said softly.

I silently cursed not knowing what to say. “Eddard will share your pain; he was quite fond of Ashara Dayne.”

She looked very angry when she looked at me as though I personally hurt her. “Lord Dayne told me Eddard killed his brother and sister.

“Ned did not kill Ashara!”

“You knew about Arthur Dayne? “

“I did but he did not kill Ashara how could you say that!”

“You knew and didn’t tell me.”

“You are only half listening to me!” I shouted.

“She jumped from the palestone sword tower after your brother arrived with dawn after he murdered her brother! He should consider it blood on his hands we do.” Elia says as though she spoke for all of Dorne.

“That’s enough!” I told her.

“So, you only want me to speak freely when it is like minded with you?” She asked darkly.

“What ever misgivings you have about Ned he would never hurt Ashara Dayne.” I promised going closer to her. “You are to close to the fire.” I told her she did nothing but watch it roar I grabbed her shoulder and she pulled away from my touch.

“Burning to death is not one of the better ways to go.” I growled my temper back in full swing.

“My baby’s name day is in less then a month and we will still be apart. I already feel like I am slowly burning to death Lord Stark, the only thing good about the north is that its so painfully cold you just feel numb every once and awhile.” She said. Ned had told me what she said when he offered her a different man more forgiving and kinder then I. She said all these good things about me and now she couldn’t bare to look at me.

“Well if you feel that way you should have-“

“Go away lord Stark, I do not feel well enough argue with you today though it is your favorite game.” She told me.

“Really I always found you a natural at it!” I said as I stormed out slamming the door. It was true Elia had away of getting under my skin more then any girl I have ever know and yet she was also the kindest gentlest girl I had known.

We did not talk for days she barely came out of her rooms. I was surprised when she joined me to meet the last of our guests.

“I did not think you would be here.” I admitted to her.

“It is my duty.” She reminded me I noticed she did not wear a black dress in mourning of her friend.

“I thought you would be all in black.”

“I want to be all in black, I would however hate for someone to think I was mourning my dead husband.” She said and I had to smile it reminded me what I liked about Elia she was so strong of mind and will even if her body could not keep up. She wore a purple dress which was the color of house Dayne.

“I think Ashara would like the dress.” I told her she only nodded.

The gates opened and Dustin Banners marched in I had looked forward to seeing William Until I remembered he numbered my dead friends. I was shocked to see Barbrey in widows black with her brown hair was up in a widow’s knot. Though her dress was black it was cut low, it was good she rode so well, or her breasts would fly out of her corset.

“Lord Stark.” she greated as she came down from her horse.

“Lady Barbrey Dustin I presume.” I asked and she showed me her large smile as she took off her ridding gloves throwing them at a servant.

“You went off to marry the Tully girl then Eddard married the Tully girl, so father made new arrangements for me. “She said she extended her arm I took it kissing it she took the opportunity to kiss my check. “Until William died fighting to kill Targaryen tyrants.” Barbrey said before her eyes landed on Elia.

“Lady Barbrey.” Elia greeted flatly.

“Dowager princess.” Barbrey returned no one could spar with words like her.

“Princess Elia is fine.” Elia told her always one to take the high road.

“Are you well Brandon?” She asked informally. “I just thought what you have been through is the most dreadful thing I ever heard of. Then I heard of your impending marriage…..and I just had to come.” Barbrey said.

“His lordship is the very symbol of health and strength. It was kind of you to come.”

“I am sure Brandon has mentioned me?” Barbrey said with a flirtatious smile.

“Afraid not.” Elia said simply and I could see the row had started but as noble born girls they did not scream shout or hit they said stabbing words with polite smiles though I was sure Elia was in over her head.

“Well I cannot wait to get to know you.” Barbrey lied.

“Yes, I feel as though I already know you lady Barbrey.” Elia said unamused by the fake truce.

“I brought something for you.” Barbrey said waving a servant over. “I thought of you when I saw them on the road.” Barbrey said taking the item veiled with cloth she uncovered it revealing the blue winter roses woven into a crown. “I thought it was time you got one and how different life would be like if you had.”

“Rey!” I snapped no longer allowing this it was one thing when it was just the snipping of women. That was to far Elia starred at the roses for a moment before regaining her polite mask. Her hand rubbed acrossed my arm stopping me from scolding Barbrey though it seemed to almost make Barbrey’s eyes bulge out of her head.

“It’s alright darling.” She told me before taking the crown of flower no matter how traumatic they were for her. “I hope you will be comfortable in Winterfell Lady Dustin.” She said simply.

“Thank you, it was a pleasure to meet you Lady Targaryen.” Barbrey teased.

“I was born Princess Elia Nymeros Martell of Dorne and I will continue to be so until I die. However, if it is simpler for you Lady Barbery you may call me Lady Stark.” Elia said never faltering.

“You must excuse me.” She told to me which I did with a nodded. As she walked away graceful as a queen, she tossed the mocking crown into the fire servants had gathered around. In full view of Barbrey.

“That tilt goes to the princess rey.”

“I will win the tourney though.” She assured she looked just like I remembered like a proud porcelain doll.

“That crown was uncalled for Rey.”

“You used to like jokes.” She pouted.

“I think I hated seeing that fucking thing more then she did.” I told her.

“Lets go on a ride this afternoon.”

“That’s a horrible idea.”

“Oh you owe me for letting me think you were dead.” She assured.

“Do you promise to be nicer to Elia if I do?”

“Why do you care?” She pouted.

“Because Elia deserves respect as my bride, and I will not have her treated that way.” I told her plainly.

“Fine.” She agreed.

I knew this was not the thing to keep from Elia so I went to tell her. I did not bother knocking instead storming in to find her in her bath. He hair was tied up, her bare shoulders poked out from the water apart of me wanted to pull her out of the bath even as she glared at me.

“At least shut the door.” She sighed.

“Why are you bathing in the middle of the day.”

“To get the contempt off of me, lovely friend you have.” She said.

“I don’t see why you care, its not like you like me at all.”

She looked at me hurt before looking away. “I have done good by you, can you honestly say the same.” Elia asked softly.

“That was a horrible thing she did with the flowers.”

“Yes.” Elis agreed.

“You should have let me scold.”

“It hardly matters. Blue roses will haunt me for the rest of my life.” She murmured.

“It was something he did, not you.” I reminded.

“This is not something I want to discuss with you.” She practically hissed.

“Either talk to me about why those flowers horrified you so much you forgot your normal facade, or I am going to go meet Barbrey in the stables.” I told her simply I just wanted some degree of want from her even if it was just wanting me to stay with her and not Barbrey I wanted her to tell me not to go.

“Enjoy your ride Lord Stark.”

“FINE!” I said storming out.

I went to the stable’s blizzard perked up seeing me. Barbrey was there waiting in a ridding dress this one was not black. It was an off-white color with a low neckline it reminded me of the first dress I took off her in style, it reminded me of how we used to be. Who I used to be before I lost my sister and father and was tortured half to death? A simpler better time in my life. Her hair was down the knot leaving her usually straight hair wavy.

“You are the Lord of Winterfell Brandon; you get to decide this time. You can do as a southern king tells you or you and I can ride to Torrhen square before anyone can stop us, you can marry the girl you want this time. Here are your reigns if you want them.” She told me placing her hand on my chest.

I cursed before I took the reigns. It was time to take matters into my own hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah its been going to well for me not to throw a wrench into things.
> 
> I know I just posted a chapter but I have had this one done for awhile and I thought with all the craziness people might be bored. Anywho thanks for reading let me know what you think!


	6. Gone

Chapter 6: Gone

Brandon left to go ridding. I suppose it was a good ride because he never came back. This should not have hurt me so, after all it has happened before.

At first, I was worried he had fallen and was hurt. I asked Howleen Reed to take some discrete men and go look for his lordship. Howleen was both loyal and quiet good qualities for a secret search. However, Howland reed came back the next morning without seeing any signs of a struggle, and the Dustin men left without warning that same morning after getting a letter from there lady to return to her.

I wanted to believe Brandon was not like Rhaegar but then Luwin told me all was well when he sent word.

Maestor Luwin said Brandon wrote he was going on away on important business and would be back soon as he could. He also wrote to a few friends including Lord Rickard and GreatJon who took most the men with them on a hunt as to not tax Winterfell to much with so many guessed for longer then expected. Luwin gave me the note after I demanded to see it. Just as Luwin said Brandon wrote me I should still feel safe in Winterfell and that he would return for me, but this was something he had to do despite any consequences. So, it seemed it was not the maestor who lied he was just presenting Brandon’s lie.

I hated myself for being hurt by this man. A man I had not even wanted. A man who fought me on almost everything and aggravated me more. A man who was stubborn, rash with a wild smile that stilled my heart and had a strong yet comforting way about him. A man who was so broken I thought he might be able to understand how I was broken. I thought we could gather up all the pieces of our hearts and mend them back together, but I was wrong. Naive of me yet again.

This time I would not try to go after the man that left me to plead with him to stay. I had to do everything I could for Rhaenys now. The first thought was to take her to Essos so Robert could not give us away or take my daughter from me, but it was a fleeting thought. I still did not have Aegon and I would not leave seven hells without both of my children. Let alone Westeroes.

Rhaenys would not have to stay but there was no one I trusted loyal enough to take her back to Dorne.

I was shocked to find Ned Stark a man I thought my enemy to be my biggest supporter when he returned with his wife.

He shared my anger but unlike me he was not surprised. He shrugged muttering about Brandon’s wolf blood as though it made sense.

“Apparently you have a lot of friends in the north, that’s good it will help our argument to Robert. You should not be punished for Brandon’s actions. I know I could not stop you from being blamed for Rhaegars but this is different he is my brother and I won’t let him hurt you.” He promised and I nervously nodded in the dark hall it reminded me of Brandon and I’s late-night meetings when we were being allies or whenever he felt like seeing me. I did not feel as Strongly about Ned I had not forgiven what he did to my friends, but I did not have the options to be picky when it came to allies. I knew if Arthur or Ashara were here I knew they would want us to survive. It was the last thing both of them said to me at separate times.

_“I do not understand this madness all I know is I will see you at the end as long as you are brave you will survive sweet princess” Arthur told me in a more abandoned part of the red keep while uncle Lewyn kept watch._

_Arthur left with Rhaegar but Ashara did not leave until I forced her to leave with my other ladies, they had not stay and be captive only I, they could go back to the safety of Dorne and I wanted that for them._

_“You will beat Rhaegar, all you have to do is survive him. Your son will be king, and sons learn from there mothers.” Ashara assured in a whisper in my ear as we embraced. Her condition was still concealable at that time. I had so many questions about the fate of her babe._

I was confused to see Ned blush. As he passed a small bit of parchment to me. I was far to curious to not look at it immediately. They were names most of which I recognized. Lord Rickard Karstark, Lord Manderly, Lord Talhart and on and on.

“What is this, some sort of record?” I asked turning it over in search of instructions that were not there.

“Of widowed Northern Lords it is. It could be of your interest too……find one.”

“It maybe of my interest but outside of my ability.” I muttered at that point I doubted I could seduce a man if I went to his chamber and propositioned him directly.

Ned’s wife was less helpful. She would not speak to her husband unless curtesy demanded she looked at him with nothing but contempt I suppose he sort of earned but she also looked at me as though I was the enemy and asked about Brandon and talked about him constantly and Brandon was the last thing I wanted to think about.

It had been weeks now. Eddard had already sent everyone home. Luwin was loyal to his lord though they often disagreed he reminded Ned that was not Brandon’s instruction. Brandon wanted them to stay apparently, I had no idea why. Ned disagreed and he was in charge while his brother was away, so it had not mattered.

Donella and I said a private goodbye. She was very dear to me Lady Donella she was a strikingly lovely woman who came to me first as another mother who was separated from her child. “I will never get my daughter back but if I could ever help in some way even the smallest way reuniting you with your son I would.” She promised. We embraced and since we met we were simply the best of friends talking about her our childhoods and she told me different northern tales and secrets. I told her many of Dornish tales but no secrets. I kept my secrets to Ashara Dayne who never told a soul as she lived and would do the same in death.

Donella Told me Rhaella was held up on Dragonstone but she would not be for Long. Stannis Baratheon was coming. I was sad to hear as she was a very good ally to me for a very long time. Though I hoped the afterlife would bring her peace when this life only brought her duty and pain. She was a good woman to long in a broken system.

I remembered the first time I felt Rhaegars cold indifference. How terrible he let his friend Lord Connington treat me. The devastation I felt when the queen took me to her vanity and began fixing my makeup when she said. _“You cannot control your husband do not waste your, breath, energy, and time trying. You can however control yourself Elia. Do not let him know when he has hurt you, you must wear a dignified mask at all times so they can only guess how you feel.”_

_It was good advice I was grateful for. When Rhaegar rode past me and placed that crown of flowers on Lyanna’s head, after people picked up their jaws many turned to me to see how I would react. I did not give them the satisfaction of seeing me cry over Rhaegar though I loved him and obeyed him he chose to humiliate me. I help my head high and focused on talking Oberyn out of killing Rhaegar._

I did not give Barbrey any satisfaction either when she revealed in those blue flowers that made my stomach turn. Why did Brandon have to love such a hateful woman?

Brandon was not perfect, but I never believed him capable of this. I wondered if they were married now. If they were holding each other in a tight embrace while I worried about my daughter’s life.

I walked through the castle it was late at night, but I knew I would never get to sleep anyways. It was raining. Apparently Lyanna hated rainstorms. It seemed we would never see eye to eye even though she was dead. I loved rainstorms we rarely had rain in Dorne and we celebrated it. My favorite thing about the capital was that it rained there more often though the rain in the capital made the smell worse. The rain here was so pure I found myself walking alone through the corridors looking through windows at the rain.

It was beautiful here even if it was cold. I should not have been so harsh with Brandon I knew that, but I suppose it was only a matter of time. I still did not know what I had done to Rhaegar to make him treat me so ill. I hated myself more for thinking that was love. At least there had been something between me and lord Stark. Now I had no idea what it was.

I learn from my mistakes; I would not try to keep Brandon when he was never mine and I would not ask Barbrey for mercy. Brandon mourns his sister, but he did not know the same girl I did. She is not as innocent as he believed. She meant to steal my husband away she told me as much.

I shook away my thoughts of that girl she was dead and buried and should not haunt me anymore.

Why I was starting to think I could be happy with her brother was beyond me. We were forced together and like Rhaegar he would want a woman he chose. Why did I think it would be different that he would be different, that he would want me?

“Princess!” A voice called and I tensed up I knew that husky firm voice anywhere. I would not look the other way like Rhaegars dalliances I was ready to scream at Brandon Stark until my longs gave out. I was debating hitting him for what he did. For leaving, for making me think he could love me, for returning to what tell me I had to take my daughter back to the lion den that was the red keep.

I turned on my heels to give him a piece of my mind. There he was, dripping wet with that wild smile on his face My son stood next to him clasping onto Brandon’s hand. Aegon was completely dry he had to have put him inside of his cloak in the rain storm. He was a littler taller and his purple eyes gleamed. “MOMMY!” He cried running to me as fast a toddler can.

I had been speechless, but I bent down holding him in my arms. “Aegon!” I cried at last clutching him close to me as I smell his head.

“He smells the same right? I didn’t get the wrong kid, did I?” Brandon teased. I forgotten I told him that. I couldn’t believe he remembered.

“I love you so so much Aegon I am so sorry.” I cried out.

“Mommy never stopped trying.” Aegon said before looking back at Brandon.

“That’s right, your mommy never stopped trying to save you. Just like I said.” Brandon reminded.

I looked up at him with wide eyes. “You saved my son. How?”

“I do not learn from my mistakes it turns out. I rode to Kingslanding and demanded him.” He told me he had so many horrible memories there, but he went there and got my son.

“Robert just gave him to you?” I asked as I picked up my son not ready to let him go he happily clasped onto me. And I rocked him gently.

“Not exactly. A story for later.” He said glancing at Aegon before looking back to me. He just went on a harrowing journey and had to have nearly killed his horse. Now he stood in his hall dripping and looking at me. I could not stop myself from going to him.

“Thank you Lord Stark, thank you!” I told him. I went to embrace him, but he pulled back. “You don’t have to I am all wet.” He reminded.

“You need a warm bath to get the chill off of you.” I declared he began to protest but I spotted Myla in the adjoining corridor.

“Myla.” I called getting her attention.

“Yes princess?” She asked coming our way.

“Would you have a bath made up for Lord Stark, he will also need some food made up from his journey, oh and dry clothes laid out if he decides to go see to his brothers or Ser Rodrick or Maestor Luwin.”

“Because I cannot dress myself?” Brandon asked with his usual smirk though I noticed there was less anger in those grey eyes then when we first met.

“Because I will not be there, and I trust Myla to make you look good.” I teased he smiled.

“Lay out the clothes.” Brandon agreed.

“Aegon should eat as well-“I started.

“The boy has eaten.” Brandon promised.

“He will need clothing; the girls and I could find something for him to wear.” Myla suggested.

“Thank you Myla you are such a help.” I told her softly.

“You are to kind princess; I will have the bath sent up.” Myla said smiling as she walked away.

I was so happy to have my son back I did not know what to say. I just keep cuddling him telling him how much I loved him and smelling his head. As we made the walk to the family chambers.

“I could carry him if you would like.” Brandon offered.

“I am fine.” I promised.

“He’s heavy.” Brandon said as though from experience.

“I could hold him for hours.” I promised.

Brandon smiled. “Will you tell Rhaenys tonight or wait until the morning?”

“I know I should not wake her, but I am not sure I can wait.” I admitted ecstatically holding Aegon close making Brandon chuckle.

“I don’t think I could either.” He said as we arrived at my chamber door. “I am not going back down tonight, but I would like to talk with you after?”

“Of course, I assumed you would just barge in. I want to know everything.” I assured.

“I was trying to be polite.” He laughed.

“You never have to be polite to me as long as you live, you are my hero Lord Stark.” I told him before I knew what was happening, he lifted Aegon out of my arms and kissed me. It was a quick kiss and as soon as we parted, he handed me back my baby and walked away. Leaving me in utter shock for the second time tonight.

Rhaenys only waked for a second. “Hi Egg?” She said tiredly before going back to sleep.

I had to giggle. “She will be more excited to see you in the morning I promised kissing his head as he yawned, he was soon asleep in my arms I pulled Rhaenys close still asleep she laid her head on my lap. I had both my babies with me safe and warm inside Winterfell and I smiled victoriously at last my children and I survived the Targaryen’s and hopefully we could stay hidden away in the north from the Baratheons and Lannisters and anyone else who would wish us harm.

As I happily watched my babies sleep comforted by their gentle breathes, I thought of Lord Stark who risked his life for Aegon. It was one thing when he did it for his sister but after what it did to him how could he go back, what could compel him to do so.

I found my self impatiently waiting for Brandon to come to tell me his harrowing tale to see that handsome smile of his and roguish charm. I realized at long last I just might have more then my children to survive for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll explain more in the next chapter I promise. I was thinking of waiting for the reveal but I thought Elia needed her son back. Let me know what you think and thanks for reading!


	7. Return

Chapter: 7 Return

I wondered if Elia insisted Rhaegar be warmed if he rode in the rain. Assuming he actually did and did not find it too daunting. I wondered if she cared about him eating after a long journey or for the proper clothes were laid out for him. It was silly of course Elia would do all this she was no doubt a perfect wife to Rhaegar which made his chose to steal away a little girl and abandon his beautiful wife all the more stupid. So why did it all make me feel so warm.

Her eyes welled up with tears of joy when she saw her baby. I was sure I have never seen her so happy. Elia was a very pretty woman, but she was gorgeous when she was happy. I understand now she could never find any love with me until she had her son back. Maybe I always knew that, but I use to have no interest in something with her. Elia Martell melted my heart in such a short time without even trying to. She was good and decent unlike most, but she was strong and smart and a good mother and all I wanted to do was learn more about her. To find out all the other great things about her.

I kept thinking of how happy she was and the pride in my chest for making that happen her forgoing manors for the rest of her life for her son. Which I hadn’t thought possible, and though I would never hold her to it, it was extremely cute. I could not help but kiss her. I took the boy out of her arms afraid she would drop him in shock. I didn’t know I was going to do that I can’t imagine Elia’s reaction.

I found myself rushing to her chamber. I opened the door finding her in bed with her babies she was careful to not wake them as she got up. She carefully adjusting the covers around them and kissing both of their heads. She kept looking at them as she walked over to me then suddenly she turned to me and practically leaped at me to embrace me I lifted her up my hands on her hips as her arms wrapped around my neck her lips were at my ear. “Thank you, lord Stark, I can never begin to thank you enough.” I sat her back down staring into those beautiful black eyes.

“Its fine we agreed we would not make our lives more difficult.” I reminded willing to brush it away.

“No, it was much more than that you saved my sons life. You are a great man lord Stark mayphaps the greatest I have ever known.” She told me and I had the urge to kiss her again. I was trying to for once control my impulses but the silence had gone on for a moment to long and unsure what to do with my lack of response she looked at me with those big black eyes full of adoration and she barely opened her mouth before I leaned down kissing her she made a little shocked noises which spurred me on. Thankfully this kiss was not as painfully short as the last. I could not help wanting way I kissed her sticking my tongue into her mouth. Elia indulged me for a few moments before pulling away not without making the most wonderful mmm noise to let me know she had enjoyed it. Her hands went to her lips I could not believe she was this startled after all who would not want to kiss her.

“Lord Stark!” She said, reprimanding so halfheartedly she could not hide a little smile and a wide blush on her cheeks.

“I think it’s time you started calling me Brandon.” I told her pulling her against me her hands went to my cheeks this time more prepared. She kissed me back more not in the burning way I kissed her but more curiously exploring my mouth. But then she pulled away leaving me to want more. Her graceful fingers once again brushed her lips she seemed shocked I kissed her. I could not understand why she found it so shocking. She was a beautiful women, we were getting married, I had a certain reputation I was surprised she did not expect it.

“I thought you came here to talk Brandon.” She mused I was sure my name never sounded as good as on her lips.

“Yes, I do.” I agreed though I found a better activity and though it seemed to shock her she did not seem to mind my attantions.

She looked back at her children before turning back to me she could not stop smiling and it was contagious. “I want to know everything please start at the beginning.” Elia said excitedly.

“First some business.” I said watching her tense up and her smile leave.

“Alright.” She said apprehensively which did not make this easier.

“I think we should get married.” I told her making her smile.

“I have very good news for you then. We have an arranged marriage in the works.” She teased I was happy to see her shoulder relax and a small smile return.

“You may be new to satire, but you are excelling at it.”

“I had an excellent teacher.” She told me making me smirk.

“I want to get married sooner then later I think it would be best. I was thinking in the next few days, when I leave I’ll go to Luwin and tell him to write the lords they can come or not come but I plan to be married to you by the next moon.” I told her she opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out she looked me over carefully as she often did as though she was looking for malice hidden beneath the surface. She had to learn to trust me at some point. Though I was beginning to understand the depth of how hurt she was. I was seeing all the scars she had on the inside.

“Is that alright with you Elia?” I asked snapping her out of whatever trance like state she was in.

“Yes of course, I assumed we would be married by now anyways.”

“Yes well, I thought I should bring you a wedding gift.” I teased nodding to her sleeping son.

“Believe me I am thrilled with it. Will you tell me now?” She asked.

“Yes, shall we sit?” I asked moving over to the two chairs pushed against the far wall of the room. I sat and she joined me.

“Should we move them closer to the fire?” She asked.

“Are you cold?” I asked. I was content where we were but I knew this room was always inhabited by aunt Branda when she visited first with her husband and then as a widow and my aunt Branda could be on the wall itself and she would still probably complain about how hot it was. It was no surprise to me to find the chairs pushed as far from the hearth as possible.

“A little.” She admitted.

I knew what I should do but my mind could be quite devious at times and controlling my impulses was terribly hard. “I could warm you up if you would like?”

“Yes?” She asked starting to get up Elia was such a proper lady there was probably little doubt in her mind I meant I would move the chairs. I was sort of wickedly hoping for a undignified noise from Elia when I pulled her into my arms, but she was as quiet as she was confused. She looked at me as though I had a goat’s head, but she never pulled away. Instead she let me pull her close to lay her head against my chest. Her legs were tightly crossed. I moved her legs to the outside of my legs not pressing anymore then that.

At first, she was perfectly still. On of my hands ran through her pretty hair while the other gently rubbed at her upper back. I was determined to get her comfortable with me touching her I did not want to feel like we were complete strangers on our wedding night. I was sure it would be nerve racking enough for her without feeling as though we were completely unfamiliar. Just like kissing, it took Elia time for her to find comfort in my arms. First her hands absent mindedly toyed with my outer shirt hem. She seemed to not know how alluring that was. After several minutes of silence passed, I was beginning to think it a failed endeavor. I began to move my arms when I felt her arms move around me in a very sweet embrace. I did not realize how much I needed a that. I pulled my arms around her tightly wondering if she needed the same.

I could have stay like that for hours, but her arms softened around me, and I followed her lead she looked up at me with those big black eyes that seemed to make me putty in her hands. Her hand touched the side of my face, her soft hand moving against my face while she looked into my eyes. I had to force myself to swallow the animalistic growl that seemed to be forming in my throat. The burning never left.

“Thank you for being patient with me, I am not used to this sort of male attention.” She said soft as a whisper.

“You were married?” I said it just came out, but it had been something I had been wondering. She had two children but anytime I touched her she seemed more in line of what I would expect from a virgin.

“Yes, I remember.” She said looking at away she trembled slightly I pulled her into a tight embrace not only did she become comfortable in my arms, but her hand moved over my hand that was on her hip. I kissed her head. “Elia, I think you should talk to me about your marriage. I think its best I know.” I said not knowing if that was the right thing to say or the right words, but I thought it was best I knew more about it. I wasn’t trying to pry and I truly had no urge to learn more about Rhaegar Targaryen but the little I knew just seemed wrong.

Her other hand clutched tightly to my doublet. She nodded though. “I want to hear about you saving my son first. A happy tale.” Elia said softly. I nodded.

“I do not know if you know this about me, but I am a rash man who clearly does not learn from my mistakes.” I told her she giggled into my chest looking up at me.

“I should tell you Barbrey-“To my utter shock her delicate hand went over my lips.

“If you do not mind, I would like to know nothing of your dalliances, I would be very grateful if you could be discreet with them but you should never feel the need for clemency from me. As long as you return and are inconspicuous about your affairs you have nothing to explain.” She told me softly.

I suppose it was good to know Elia did not mind me cheating on her as long as I did not announce it to the world or try to engage in a conversation with her about it Her standards low but her last husband did humiliate her and then kidnap an innocent girl and everyone in the known world knew about it. I suppose privacy would be sweet relief to poor Elia.

“Elia I feel like I should tell you-“ I started.

“Really the less I know is better.” She said she actually cut me off. I began toying with a strand of her hair.

“Can I speak now?” I asked she smiled softly nodding.

“We did not. She wanted me to run away with her. I of course could not do that to you but I got really mad about you and your baby being blamed for something horrible someone else did and I realized I remembered who I am and that I am not the kind of man who sits back while injustice happens to people around me.” I told her. I didn’t know what it was fear after what happened to me that kept me from doing the right thing immediately or worse that I was so angry I was indifferent to someone elses suffering.

“It was so brave of you…to return to Kingslanding.” The name of that god’s forsaken city brought pain to my leg wound.

I decided to tell her something I never told anyone else as I patted “I remember the last time, I knew my father would be angry and think what I was doing was rash and that there was a better way. I kept seeing him the whole ride there.” I admitted.

“And you did not see him this time?” She asked softly.

“No, I did, but this time he was saying what the fuck took you so long Brandon.” I told her making her giggle I was shocked and amused my language did not affect her in the slightest. “Look what my father did when his son was in danger, you are going to be my wife and Aegon will be my stepson. It was my duty to save him.” I told her.

“Keep going.” She said pulling on my shirt slightly.

“I realized how terrible it must have looked so when I stopped, I wrote a letter.”

“I didn’t believe your letter. I am sorry. You did nothing to deserve my mistrust but….I was sure you were gone.” She admitted and it seemed hard for her to admit but she was trying to be honest with me.

“Of course, you didn’t I wasn’t thinking.” I told her. “I’m sorry it had to be hard for you.” I admitted quietly leaning down looking into those dazzling eyes.

“It was more then worth it.” She promised. “I should not do that mistrust you as if you were…… _him_.” She said which she was doing in kindness but I had to wait for a moment to let the sickness I feel pass just by his mention. I understood now it was not so easy he did a lot of damage that I would have to fix before she would trust me.

“I will earn your trust.” I told her before continuing. “Anyways I got to Kingslanding, Robert greeted me as a friend why should he not as he puts it, ‘we practically share a brother’. He was less amused when I told him why I was there.”

“What did you say?” Elia asked I was not sure we ever held eye contact this long but it was amazing.

“I said I am here to retrieve my stepson so he can attend his mothers wedding and Robert, Jon Arryn, and the rest of the small council looked as though I stabbed a puppy. I thought everyone should be impressed I did not start with come out and die!” I told her successful in my attempt to make her laugh. Her head rested on my shoulder and it was more enjoyable then I thought to be cuddled up with her. I had thought this would be more of a sexual encounter, and as alluring as Elia was on my lap there was another aspect to it I did not expect. Something warm and good I could not really describe.

“And you say you don’t learn.” She teased.

“Jon Arryn refused politely as a gentleman and Robert told me where I could stick my demand. Then I felt the wraith of the queen.”

“She is interesting is she not?” Elia asked.

“So much anger in such a small person is remarkable I suppose but I have known torturers with a gentler touch then our new queen.”

“She worries me.” Elia admits.

“Robert will keep her in check. Hopefully he will live along time so he can teach his children to do the same.” I said but she didn’t look like she believed me.

“If you say, how did you convince them to change their minds?”

“Oh I didn’t. The one thing they all seemed to agree on was your son could not leave.” I told her I left out that some wanted the boy dead and buried as a means to simplify. “ I challenged Robert to a duel for him and Robert couldn’t resist the bait. Jon Arryn was livid and tried to talk the king out of it but couldn’t. We agreed to first blood.”

“That is terribly Dangerous Robert is a great warrior I am told!” Elia said the way she sounded worried for me tugged at my heart.

“Robert is a great warrior, but he is better with a war hammer then a sword and you cannot battle to first blood with a war hammer.”

“You outsmarted him!” She realized.

“Believe me in a battle of wits Robert is unarmed.” I said making her laugh.

“Tell me more.”

“Theres not much more to tell, I am a better swordsmen then he is, I blocked his four quick and powerful but also blunt and sloppy thrusts before knocking his blade away to leave him a mark of esteem across his shoulder blade, it was quick work. The king was furious, but Robert is a man of his word. His queen asked what I would do if he had me locked back in my old cell.”

“That horrible woman.” She gasped I was only slightly disappointed because I thought she was going to call the queen a whore, but Elia was to good for that sort of thing.

“Robert looked at me waiting to see my response, I think. I told her simply my brother would raise the North once again to come and get my ass if not avenge it. Robert loved that he laughed for quite some time then he said take the boy before I change my mind in his most growly voice.” I told her.

“How was ridding all the way to Winterfell with my son?” Elia asked.

“Babies cry.” I admitted and she laughed at my ignorance. “I think he likes me now though.” I told her I would never forget the way he whole heartedly relied on me and trusted me. If Robert allowed himself any time with Aegon he would not blame the son for the sins of his father. Aegon was not Rhaegar he was a small child who was almost pure loved, and it was my job to protect him.

“It appears to be your turn.” I told her softly.

“Yes.” She agreed slowly. “Would you grant me a kindness?”

“Anything.” I said my heart spoke before my mouth could stop it.

“Would you hold me tightly again?” She squeaked as if it was such a troubling ask.

“I will always hold you Elia, you need only say it.” I promised I hadn’t thought she would want me to touch her through this but it seemed she would need comforted already I did as she asked this time instead of holding earth moving eye contact with me she buried her head into my chest.

“My husband was a very cold and formal man.”

“How ironic for a dragon.” I scoffed realizing maybe I should not add to her story she surely wanted it over quickly.

“I never thought of him as a dragon. Sometimes I thought of him like a dragon egg like the petrified ones I had seen on Dragonstone and in the red keep. Cold and hard to the touch but with the promise of something warm and magical inside if only I could draw it out, but I never could. After I left all I could think was that he was like the island we lived on. Cold and dark with such a grim way about it though everyone thought it was so magnificent. One of the things I really like about you is that I always know when you are angry you cannot hide it and you have never been shy about saying why. With Rhaegar I would never know what I did to earn his animosity. He would call me clever and always told people he was fond of me but I never felt his fondness. He was one way in private and a different in public……..I suppose that’s not really what you asked.”

“Your doing fine, please keep going tell me whatever you think best.”

“I would like to start by saying, Girls in Dorne usually have more freedom to learn carnal things before they marry. However my mother forbid any such things like that around me, she always desired a northern match for me and westerosi girls had to be pure when they married.”She looked up at me for a moment. “Not this northern of course.” She added softly making me smile.

“My father wanted a southern match for me I can only imagine how happy they are.” I teased in an effort to comfort her but it did not seem to she only nodded. All she said so far is that she did not have any knowledge of sexual things before her marriage most girls were like that it was the job of a husband to teach his wife or for them to learn together. I taught several girls who were not my wife.

“So, I did not understand how odd it was until Ashara told me.” Elia said quietly.

She was silent for along time. “What was?”

“The way Rhaegar explained it, he said bedding a wife a man does not get to choose himself is a duty that take patience and silence on the part off the woman…….and great valor on the part of the man.” She said trying not to cry.

“Elia-“ I started but she just pressed into my chest and had to plow through the rest. “He only ever came to me when he wanted to have a baby he would leave right after and he did not want me to touch him ever. He never held me, or kissed me like you do, or even looked at me the way you do so I am story Lord stark that I do not really understand much.” She finally got out.

I held her a little extra tight before softly saying. “Elia everything that man did and said to you was wrong.” Rhaegar was lucky he died on the Trident I was thinking of several ways to dismember him and I was trying not to think what he did or said to my little sister. He deserved a greater punishment then Roberts war hammer but I could not give it to him I could only try and help Elia.

“Are life together will never be like that.” I promised not sure if it was the right thing to say.

“You promise?” She asked poking up.

“I promise, it’s late I should-“

“Stay a little longer.” She asks sheepishly.

I nodded. “As long as you want.” I told her softly.

I don’t know when my eyes closed but I woke up groggy and confused Elia was sound asleep her head against my chest her arms around my neck. Here breath against my chest.

“Sweetheart it’s time for bed.” I told her my voice raspy from sleep, she nuzzled my chest and sighed “A little longer Brandon.” I was not sure she was still asleep until she laid a little kiss on my chest before moving to get comfortable in my lap once again.

The realization it me and my eyes widened. I felt very awake, and as shocked as I would be suddenly covered in snow. I was falling in love with her.

I pulled her up in my arms and carried her to bed placing her beside her children and pulling up the covers around her. She looked very peace full asleep. “What the fuck are you doing to me Elia.” I sighed before leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It may seem early for Brandon to be in love with her but I didn't think he would go to Kingslanding if he wasn't getting there.
> 
> Elia's a bit of a blank slate, we know she was clever, kind, a good lady with a gentle wit that sort of thing but the rest is completely up to interpretation and this is how I decided to portray her this time around.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it this was kind of an odd chapter in there growing relationship but I think there are some sweet parts. Thank you so much for reading and let me know what you think.


	8. Man

Chapter 8: Man

The next few days I got to spend most of my time with my son and daughter which thrilled me. Brandon handled most of the lords returned he was the one they wanted to see and to my astonishment they were not angry they laughed and called him a wild wolf when he explained what happened. I wondered if the Starks could really do wrong in the north or if they were so beloved their people would follow them into seven hells.

The precious time was up soon enough, and it was time to be married. I did not dread the prospect as I once did, I was feeling close to Brandon in away I had not felt close to anyone in a very long time.

Rhaenys twirled around in her dress. All she knew was our handmaidens were very excited about today and she got a new dress so now she was excited for the wedding too. I was less sure as Myla and Alys sewed up my sleeves and Gara began struggling with my hair.

“Mommy!” Aegon called running over to me.

“What my love?” I asked softly.

“Wain!” He told me pointing out the window making me smile. “Snow.” I told him softly.

It was true Brandon was my hero for saving my sweet little baby. I thought about Brandon Stark often. Which made me wonder why I felt so uneasy, why my chest felt so heavy. The first time I married I did not know the man I was to marry I had only spoken to him once, but I was so excited to be Rhaegars wife. Maybe that’s why I felt so conflicted I knew what it meant to be a wife now.

Brina went to the door opening it I looked to see Catelyn Tully standing in the doorway.

“I thought I should come help you.” Catelyn said simply of course she did it was what women with good southern manners were supposed to do. Oddly it was something only the two of us truly understood here. We both learned how to be polite to people we did not exactly like, how to slap with words and most of all how to smile no matter how much pain you are actually in.

“How kind of you please come in.” I said playing my own part.

She nodded was a lovely looking girl with porcelain skin and bright red hair. She let out a perfect smile though she was not happy. We had a lot in common and sometimes it made me think we could be friends but another thing I was sure we had in common was that we held affection for the same man.

This was not her fault she always thought that she would marry Brandon Stark and be the lady of Winterfell and I could not blame her in the slightest for missing the life that she had always been promised. A life stolen from her, I understood lose like that and I truly felt for her. I wanted her to know I did not mean to take the life she was promised. That I would do my best to help her reconcile with her new husband because I wanted her to have a good second chance. Though however selfish it maybe I was not giving up my second chance. Brandon was strong, brave, and he would protect my children from the world that opposed them, and selfishly he made me a feel away I had only ever dreamt of. my nerves could not shake the feeling that there was something between Brandon and I. Something I’ve only ever dreamt of.

“You’re not wearing your hair up; it’s is more traditional northern.” Catelyn said.

“My hair does not cooperate well besides I think Brandon likes it down.” The handmaidens began giggling at the mention of his name.

Catelyn just nodded still standing there stiffly.

“Wont you sit down.” I asked.

“No, I do not think I should stay long, I was going to ask if you would like my husband and I to watch your children during the ceremony, since you decided to let them come.” She asked. It was an odd request to have your children from a previous marriage to come to your marriage, but I asked, and Brandon had been more then fine with it. I worried about it being to cold for them, but I was assured it was not.

“That would be wonderful thank you.” I told her. “Catleyn I was hoping we could talk.” I admitted I watched the shock appear on her beautiful face she quickly dismissed it. “Children say goodbye to mommy.” She said sweetly.

Rhaenys ran to me and Aegon toddled after. “Goodbye mommy!” Rhaenys said happily a old enough to grasp the situation. That we would be reunited very soon.

“Mommy!” Aegon whinned because we were separated before. Against my hand maidens wishes I bent down in my dress.

“I am going to see you in a little while. You and Rhaenys are going to go with your new aunt and uncle and watch for mommy because I will be there soon.” I promised. Catelyn smiled picking up my pouty toddler.

Myla came in smiling with a wooden box. “A gift Lord Stark said we were not to let you see until the wedding day.” Myla said I heard the giggle in her voice.

Lord Stark was still a bit of a mystery to me in so many ways. I opened the box and it was a Cloak, orange with my family crest on the back of it the edges trimmed with beading and little golden embroidered suns. I stared at the Lace fabric. I knew immediately this was not from Brandon I looked quickly to find the bit of parchment I had first ignored. I was surprised at seeing Doran’s perfect handwriting neatly writing across it.

_Just something to remined you how loved you are. Until we are untied again. Still though our situation is no ideal I wish you every happiness. Time will tell if this man is worthy on you. It is my wish to make peace with this new king and I hope this marriage mayphaps be it’s beginning. Coming to the understanding that everything is for the best will make your new life much easier to bare. Everything for Elia Martell._

_Your loving brother Doran Martell prince of Dorne_

Dorans words were strange, I read it again and I did not understand it especially the last of it. “Is there more to this?” I asked Myla.

“That is all princess.” She assured all I was supposed to see.

“This is not from Brandon.” I mused as they put it on me.

The cloaks fabric was thin as they put it around me, but the dress was warm. The dress was more silver then white which seemed appropriate. Long sleeves tied with silver ribbons that bellowed at the ends. The handmaidens had been so excited when they put me into it. They had laughed and giggled happily telling me to twirl or turn and though the dress really was beautiful but oddly I found myself more interested in what Brandon looked like.

“Not that my lady.” Myla said snapping me out of my thoughts. She had a devious grin on her face. “He gave me this to give you this morning. Didn’t come in a box he just handed it to me.” She said with a shrug retrieving something from her pocket. She pulled out a simple leather band with something metal on it I moved closer to her to examine it. I smiled taking it in my hands when I realized it was a direwolf. Myla took it back and placed it on my securing it around my neck. They were very different tokens of esteem, but I instantly treasured them both.

There was a knock at the door. “Is she ready?” Benjen asked.

“She is.” I called back my hands toyed with the Direwolf pennant.

Alys opened the door. He stood in all black aside from his grey cloak and the Direwolf pin on his coat. Eddard said Benjen should go to the watch and he took it to heart. He was angry at Brandon I asked him if he would prefer, I find someone else, but he simply said he made a promise and would keep it in his northern way.

“You look handsome.” I told him.

“I don’t need to be handsome.” Benjen said gruffly it was sweet because it looked like he was doing his best impression of Brandon, but I did my best not to patronize him. He did not want to be treated like a child.

“I know but it doesn’t hurt does it.” I asked getting a smile from him.

“No.” He admitted I was thinking that Leona would blossom soon she would make a pretty wife for him. If that’s what Brandon wanted, I would support him as he supported me getting Aegon back.

“You look very beautiful.” He admitted finally as we made our way through the castle.

“Well that’s very kind of you to say.” I told him softly.” Tell me you and your brothers have stopped quarreling?”

“I could but it would be a lie. Brandon and Eddard never fight, they never did before.” He said softly.

He stopped in a corridor I had never been down before. “The Godswood is out this way.” He promises and I nodded as we went arm and arm out the doors.

The Godswood was full of Northerners the men held torches and the women held candles but what surprised me most was the smiles; they were all genuinely happy it seemed. In Kingslanding in the sept of Baelor thousands gathered to see Rhaegar Targaryen marry, every unmarried woman who wanted to be me and all most all the lord did not want to have a Dornish queen in waiting. Here in the dark night I did not find the animosity I thought I would being a foreigner.

Almost everyone was happy. Eddard’s wife plastered a smile on her face. My eyes went to next to her Rhaenys excitedly watched. Aegon happily waved at me from Eddard Starks arms.

I looked forward to Brandon he wore grey embellished with a dark silver. His hair and beard were neatly trimmed. He was very handsome in his house colors. The scars across his face did not bother me, many men in Dorne had scars and some my friends said they would not marry an unmarked man because we wanted to be Dornish women married to Dornish warriors. Brandon Stark was not Dornish, but he was bold and fearless like one. I remember when Ashara whispered in my ear at Harrenhall. “ _That’s Brandon Stark.”_ He hadn’t a scratch on him and he was laughing but he looked like a boy then and I preferred the man he had become even if that included the scars. Maybe especially they added to his rugged good looks.

“Who comes to this sacred place.” Brandon asked as the lord. I believed anyways this was all so different to me. This place was so different to me. I never had seen a tree like the one he stood in front of. I did my best not to stare at it, but it really was extraordinary. The massive trunk was as white as the little flurries that fell upon us and leaves were red. Not like the dark red of the Targaryen’s or the blood red of the Lannisters. Each leaf was bright and brilliant it was the first time in along time I actually enjoyed the color red.

“Princess Elia Martell of Dorne a woman true born and noble she comes to ask the gods for their blessings. Who receives her?” Benjen said perfectly.

“Lord Brandon Stark of Winterfell, the warden of the North.” Brandon said stepping forward. “Who brings her?”

“Benjen Stark, her brother by law soon.” Benjen said.

Brandon offered me his hand and I took it he pulled me forward to stand with him under the tree.

“Princess Elia Martell do you take this man?” Brandon asked with a smirk it had to be odd to refer to himself like this and it made me smile a little as well. The nervous faded away in the torch light, with the happy northerners to witness it, under the most beautiful tree I had ever seen. But the last of my worries that clung to me was only relieved when Brandon Stark winked at me.

“I take this man.” I said warmly. He nodded taking my hand we knelt down in front of the tree for silent prayer I prayed to these strange northern gods that all would be well. My mother would see it as me forsaking the gods of my father, but they had forsaken me first. I still prayed like I was taught as a little girl. I was always told to pray for my home and my family. I prayed for the greatness and prosperity of all of Dorne, I prayed for my son and daughter’s health, happiness, and safety. For my brothers to be well while we were far apart and that we will see each other at least once more in this lifetime. Then I found myself praying for the Starks. For Benjen to find peace with the path he was sent on. For Eddard and Catelyn to make amends, and for Brandon. My breath hitched thinking about him he seemed to notice squeezing my hand slightly as we knelt. For Brandon I prayed I could make him happy in a way I could never seem to make Rhaegar.

I felt Brandon moving so I got up as well. He wrapped his cloak around me, it was large on me making him smile as he tied it. He then picked me up and began carrying me away I wrapped my arms around his neck.

“This is the wrong cloak.” I informed him as he walked trying not to blush or look at all the people following and watching us. I decided it would be easier without a daunting silence especially because he was staring at me.

“What do you mean?” He asked his voice was always rough and manly, but it was very interesting hearing it up close. Very nice.

“You are supposed to wrap _your_ cloak around me.” I explained.

“This is my cloak.” He said but he was already smiling that wild wolf smile.

“Your cloak is fur.”

He chuckled. “I can have more than one cloak besides it didn’t have my sigil on it. You are determined to steal that aren’t you.” He teased playfully.

“Benjen said you were angry. You don’t seem angry.” I told him softly.

“I am angry at my brothers not you.”

“And you can now differentiate who your angry at, I am impressed my lord.” I told him making him laugh as he sat me down.

“Don’t get used to it.” He teased a little breathy.

We went to our seats at the Hightable, to Brandon’s right was Eddard who he was not speaking with. Edward has been furious with Brandon for what he did. Not exactly the saving my son as much as the doing the same thing that almost got him killed.

Catelyn to my right who I wasn’t sure if she would be too interested in speaking with me.

“Did the children get to bed alright?” I asked we were both mothers and that was a good way to bond.

“Nan took them up.” Catelyn said simply. “I went and checked on Robb and Nan was still telling your children stories.” She never mentioned the other baby in that nursery. I simply nodded we continued frivolous chatter while we ate Brandon and his brothers said little to each other until the food was cleared then the Stark men seemed to have much more intense conversation.

“I think the pair of you both like to boss me around that’s all!” Benjen said from the other side of Ned.

“It’s hard to champion your cause when you are acting like a child.” Ned told Benjen quietly.

“I would rather sit by Elia she’s the only one of any of you I like!” Benjen huffed.

“I was just thinking the same thing.” Brandon teased squeezing my hand.

“Please excuse me.” Catelyn said softly going off away quickly it sounded as though she would cry.

“I should-“ Brandon started.

“You should quit!” Ned answered for him it was the loudest I had ever heard ned stark get and he looked serious.

“Now you’ve done it.” Benjen said.

Ned gave both his brothers a hard look before going after his wife.

“Welcome to the family.” Brandon told me pushing my wine glass closer to me.

“My sincerest condolences.” Benjen murmured.

“If you think I will not smack you at my wedding feast, you are wrong.” Brandon said getting a glare from his brother I began to play with Brandon’s hand in mine and for some reason he seemed to find it comforting.

“Jonelle Crewyn and Leona Flossway are both staring at you Benjen, you could ask one to dance?” I suggested.

“I am swearing off women when I take the black!” Benjen said.

“Can’t swear off what you never had.” Brandon teased.

“I do not dance dancing is stupid!” Benjen hissed.

“You will not talk to Elia that way.” Brandon ordered.

“I was talking to you!” Benjen said.

“Very well, I just thought it would be a reason for you to leave the table.” I told Benjen.

“I would like to be excused for dancing.” Benjen told Brandon he smirked, and it made Brandon smile.

“Well since you love it so much.” Brandon teased.

“You are such a Jerk.” Benjen laughed as he got up.

“I’m your big brother, it’s my job to be a jerk and keep you safe. Like it or not.” Brandon told him.

“It’s usually not but I always love you.” Benjen admitted it was as close to an apology as Brandon would be getting.

I was happy to see him getting along better with at least one brother.

“Sorry about all of that.” Brandon told me softly.

“Can I tell you the truth?”

“I love it when you do.” He says as though he is a bit off his usual jeering facade.

“I miss rumbling family dinners.” I told him making his head tilt back with laughter.

“I have very good news for you, this happens often, or it did.” Brandon said remembering his family to was changed he looked sad and I decided to distract him.

“Once Oberyn came in late during the dinner told my brother to go to seven hells.” I told him Oberyn and Doran had been in a heated argument at the time now I could not remember what it was about it was so long ago.

“Really that’s all you have?” Brandon jeered and I smiled.

“Did I not mention he was completely naked, and it was my other brothers farewell dinner and Oberyn left with the girl Doran fancied?”

“You win that beats the food fight we had in the great hall.” He laughed before really thinking about it. “Father came in and we were so nervous he walked right up to me I was ready to have an ear full and he shoved my head into the pudding.” Brandon said.

“You started it I assume?” I told him not seeing Ned or Ben try that.

“Lyanna actually.” He laughed and continued but I was no longer really listening. How could the same person who hurt my children and I so much also be this sister Brandon loved. I resigned myself to suffer in silence I would not tell Brandon of the pain she willingly inflected because she meant so much to him and all he had left were his memories of her. I would not taint them.

Guests came up and wished us well before all out toasts were made all of them contained having a son which I was incapable of doing but I listened patiently anyways.

“Are we supposed to get up and talk or stay here, different customs seem to vary. “I Told him softly. Rhaegar had been gone as soon as he finished eating but Doran and Mellario stayed in each other’s arms whispering to each other all night at their wedding.

“What ever you want. I would prefer you stayed here with me.” Brandon said simply he looked out at the wild dancing going on. “Would you like to dance?” He askes he doesn’t want to I can hear it in his voice. He had begun to breath erratically when he was carrying me a longer way then he thought. I could only imagine how much his leg pained him.

“I do not know your dancing style I would probably look a fool.” I told him and he seemed to relax.

“You dance differently in Dorne or the capital?”

“Kings landing the dancing is very ridged. In Dorne dancing is much more intimate it’s usually a means of seduction.” I told him he just starred at me. “Not as much feet movement its more from your hips and…..you did not ask for a long boring story about dancing my apologies.” I told him simply.

“No, I must see you dance sometime.” He told me.

I was sure I was blushing my hand played with the locket, I noticed his gaze and I realized I was being rude.

“I feel horrible I have not thanked you for the locket it was very sweet, and I really do love it thank you.” I told him and he smiled.

“It was nothing.” He promised. He leaned in close his nose against my neck. “Why do you always smell so nice.” He mused.

I was speechless I had not expected him to behave like this. He hardly had any wine at all. If he was making fun of me, I did not understand it, but I took heart in the fact that Brandon was not a subtle man.

“Lord-“

“Brandon.” He reminded softly his forehead resting against mine.

“What are you doing Brandon?” I asked softly he pulled away just enough to hold my eyes his grey eyes were like storm clouds.

“I am ready to retire; I was hoping that would be alright with you.” Brandon admits.

My nerves returned and reminded me of the last horrible bedding. Rhaegars horrible friends many enemies and his terrifying father all ripping my wedding dress. The thought of Aerys nails touching my skin had me wanting to be ill.

“It’s early?” I said softly.

“Not too early.” He promised his eyes scanned me. “No, I understand I shouldn’t have asked.” Brandon said he looked out at the crowd and then to the left anywhere away from me.

“You are angry. I’ve already displeased you.”

He looked back at me with kindness in his eyes and a sad smile. “No not angry prides a little wounded.”

My hand began to play with his. “Why?” I asked softly.

“I thought you…..I thought you were coming to like me.”

“I am.” I promised.

“But you cannot bear the thought of me touching you an hour sooner?”

“No! That’s not it at all. I just have not yet gotten up courage enough for the bedding I admitted.” He chuckled. “Laugh if you want but it is not a fun tradition for women.” I told him.

“I’m not laughing at your pain Elia. There is not going to be a bedding.” I looked at him gratefully.

“Really?” I asked breathlessly.

His hands caressed my cheeks. “Elia I never intended for any man but me to touch you tonight.” He promised. There was something very comforting about his gravely voice but it also sent a new odd feeling through my body. 

“Then why are we still here?” I asked pretending to be more confident then I was Brandon smiled.

He kissed me softly and the guest began hooting and hollering which reminded me they were there.

Brandon did not seem to care at all he kissed me again.

Drunker guests began calling for a bedding Brandon silences them with a movement of his hand.

“No no I think I can find my bed all on my own thank you.” He said making them laugh. “ Please drink and be merry in our absence.” Brandon said to thunderous applause. 

“To our lord and his lady!” A giant man yelled, and the others cheered.

“I’m sorry if I was to forward princess, I used to love feasts and parties but now I would greatly prefer your company.” Brandon says as we walk.

“You do not need to call me princess anymore, I am your wife now.” I reminded and watched the large grin appear on his face.

“What?” I asked.

“You smiled a little when you called yourself my wife. It was nice.”

“It sounds nice, say it again.” I said giggling as we began up the spiraling stair to the chamber of house stark members which now official included me. He pulled me into his arms.

“I will say it as much as you want.” He promised he kissed me in the passionate forceful way Brandon kissed me it always left with this burning in my throat and a secret desire for more.

He stopped kissing me suddenly before I could ask what was wrong, I heard what he was always reacting the sound of several boots hitting the floor, coming towards us. Brandon pulled me behind him in one quick motion starting towards his sword handle when we saw them at torch light. They were several of his lords.

“What is it?” He snapped.

“There’s been some trouble in the mountains, as well as wildlings and its almost season enough for ironborn, we need our liege.” One man spoke I knew him as Lord Manderly.

“You lot have the worst timing.” Brandon grumbled. “Go to my Solar I will be there in a moment.”

“Surely your wife deserves more time then that!” Lord Crewyn joked earning a smack on the head from lord umber they called him Greatjon.

“Apologies princess we don’t all have good northern manners, but they can be beaten in.” Lord Umber said first to me and then threateningly to Lord Crewyn.

They began to make there way back down to Brandon’s solar.

“I won’t be long.” Brandon told me with a purposeful look.

“Do not rush they are your people and they need you.” I reminded. I was higher on the stairs then he and took it to my advantage to kiss him with ease. It was just a soft gentle kiss to see my husband off like I had always dreamed of doing. It was nice to have a husband who did not mind little displays of affection and seemed to have a fair amount to give in return.

As we parted, he made an ‘mmh’ noise as though my kiss was sweet.

“I need you Lady Stark.” He mused I giggled like a little girl it was so odd to think I was lady Stark never in my wildest dreams had I imagined that.

Even more to my surprise he took me up in his arms and kissed me hard my arms wrapped around his out of instinct. His lips went to my ear. “I am not Rhaegar, you have nothing to worry about tonight, all manor of things will be well.” He said and it quickened my heartbeat. He let me down and took my hand leading me to his chambers. The lord chambers of Winterfell were beautiful. There were 3 fireplaces though only one was a glow, chairs by the fire. A dresser, bookshelf, and wardrobe littered the walls and in the middle of the room was a large bed covered in furs with and old chest at the foot of the bed.

Brandon went in going and opening the chest. “I just did not want you to be worried about tonight.” He said while he rummaged through the chest.

“I am not worried at all.” I lied.

Brandon got up and went to where I still stood in the doorway. He had in hand a night shirt and his fur I was very fond of.

“So, you can get comfortable.” He said.

“That’s very kind of you, but I think that’s for me.” I told him pointing to wear my robe and a nightgown were draped over one of the chairs he didn’t look but he nodded. He through the night shirt behind him and I grabbed the cloak before he could do the same making him chuckle.

“That’s was very sweet.” I told him again.

“I want to take care of you Elia.” He said simply he was leaned down and I on my tippy-toes our lips inches apart when he said. “If I don’t leave now, I won’t leave.” I nodded he kissed me on the cheek and barreled out the door. I shut it going into the room.

I examined the new night dress they made for me. It was white and billowy, but the sleeves were bright red and the fabric was layered to look like leaves. It was to look like the big tree we were married under.

As I went through the hard task of getting out of my wedding dress alone, I thought about how I needed to ask Brandon about that tree. Slipping into the night gown was easy enough. I went over to the large bed clutching the fur cloak.

 _All manner of things will be well_ Brandon had said and something in his eyes made me think he truly meant it. _All manner of things will be well_ I told myself again and again until I truly believed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been along time coming right? I struggled with this chapter a lot. I thought about going off about Ned and Catelyn, or adding more of the kids, as well as what Benjen was up to but I decided this chapter should really focus on Elia and Brandon. I hope you liked it let me know what you think!


	9. Wife

Chapter 8: Wife

The lords howled, worried, and raged over Wildling raids and Ironborn attacks as if they never happened before. As I watched the candle burn out as the wax touched the flame, I realized it had to have been hours since I told Elia I would join her shortly. I no longer heard there bickering as they droned on. I wondered about my new wife. If she was comfortable in my rooms or if she had been anxious. I felt guilty at the thought of her being anxious for hours on end while I dealt with petty infighting. I stood up.

“My lords these problems are not new. Our fathers and their fathers and their fathers all the way back to the first men dealt with them, and we will not be the loose link in the chain. We will push the Iron born back into the ocean together as the first men pushed out the Andals, we will beat back the wildlings as our ancestors have always done.”

“And if this new king beyond the wall comes into our lands?” Jorah Mormont asked he was only a little older than me, but he was one of those men who seemed to be born an grump old man. Not unlike Ned in that regard.

“Then I will do what Starks have been doing to kings beyond the wall since the beginning of time.” I told him getting cheers from my banners.

“What about the war?” An angry Lord Rysell asked he must have known about Barbery’s proposal.

“The war? The war is over.” I reminded.

“No, my lord, Dorne has not laid there weapons down. The woman you married’s family threatens to drag us back into that hell. My good son was killed, many of these mens sons were killed.” Ryswell answered he never said because of me but I knew he meant it.

“That woman is to be addressed as Lady Stark and I will not have my wife besmirched in my presents. What her brothers do is no fault of Elia’s.” I reminded not that she really knew. It was better that way I assured myself she would only be upset that she was so far from them when they were in such danger. The Martell brothers seemed to think Dorne could with stand seven kingdoms. I hoped they were right, or a peace was breeched soon. The last thing I wanted was to take my men to war against Elia’s brothers. Elia would never forgive me for that.

“No disrespect your Lordship.” Ryswell said folding like the coward he was.

“We have kept Lord Stark from his bride for too long.” Ser Helman Tallhart deduced.

“She is a lot better looking than you lot.” I teased getting laughter and chatter from my men.

“I’d say we’ve done the Lass a favor, poor girl has to put up with you the rest of her life. Least we could do is take you off her hands for a few hours.” Lord Glover teased I smiled he was a good man.

“Really? I think I will be a great husband; I’ve been pretending to listen to you all for hours.” I jeered they cheered laughed and drank as I left seemingly forgetting there terror only moments ago.

I could hear the rowdy lords in my solar and the crowd being merry in the hall, it was only when I began climbing the stairs leading to bed chambers of house stark that it was silent, so silent I could hear the falling snow. Jon in the nursery wasn’t making a sound. Ben I wasn’t sure if he was in bed yet, I told him he could stay at the feast as long as he wanted secretly hoping he’d find a pretty highborn girl and be smitten and not want to be shipped off to that cold lonely wall. I suppose a low born serving girl would work just as well to show him what he was swearing off for the rest of his life. I passed by Eddard’s chamber it was silent as the grave. Eddard and Cat retired very early, but I doubted it was for young lover’s delight. Catelyn took the bastard worse than I imagined my being alive was not helping they were at odds. I was sure they had not enjoyed the idea of being alone in their rooms for hours, but Ned has always hated feasts and parties and Catelyn had looked like a wounded bird.

I finally gripped the handle of my door. I found an odd pounding sensation in my chest as though I wasn’t Brandon Stark the man who bedded most the women from Winterfell to Borrowton. I never bedded her though. I never bedded _my wife_ I reminded myself we were wed now.

I felt a heat wave as I opened the door all three hearths were aglow with roaring fires. I don’t think all three hearths are lit unless in the dead of winter and sometimes not even then. I was broiling just walking into the room. My gaze was fixed on Elia Martell in my bed. She laid onto of the grey and brown furs. She wore a white and red night gown that went to her ankles. I was not sure why I was surprised she had little feet everything about Elia was petite and delicate. She laid on her side and from the foot of the bed I could not tell if she was asleep or just did not care to move when I entered, though it was more likely she fainted from the heat I decided as I walked to the side of the bed. Though her night gown was long it was lace and clung to the gentle curves of her body. The little cap sleeves let me see her bare arms for the first time, though I was not surprised to see that her arms were wrapped tightly around my fur cloak all balled up as though it were a small child.

Her eyes were closed, for a moment I wondered if she was pretending to prolong the inevitable, but I couldn’t really blame her, I was someone she was forced to marry and from what she had said this had not been easy for her before. I would have to prove to her that it could be good too.

I decided we had plenty of time for that in the future. I began undressing the thick nice clothes I wore for my wedding. I set down the wolf head chain carefully before throwing off my coat and shirt kicking of my boots. I left the white shirt under all that crap on since I would be sharing my bed. I turned away from her pouring the basin of water on one of the fires before I broke out in a sweat.

I turned back to watch her blinking at me before forcing herself not to yawn but allowing herself to stretch. “I only meant to close my eyes for a moment.” She mused softly I could hear the sleep in her voice. She sat up in my bed stretching a little more.

“I was longer than I thought, my apologies.” I said not sure if an apology was the right thing to say. She gave me a polite smile as she woke up and began stiffing with her usual formal facade. I liked it better when she was all snuggled and comfortable in my bed only slightly less than a few nights ago when she was all snuggled up into my arms.

“You were only doing your duty; you mustn’t apologize for it.” She said.

And now we had another duty to do. I thought about putting out another fire, but I didn’t want it to be too dark. Its not every day a man gets to lay with a magnificent looking woman for the first time and even rarer that she is his wife.

“It’s so hot in here.” I grumbled for something to say to her while she feathered through her hair.

“I am sorry I like it hot.” Elia said another example of her being incredibly alluring without any effort. All night I’ve felt tortured by her. She gave me a vivid image of her dancing in my head, she toyed with a direwolf pendant that rested perfectly between her breasts and she was just Elia and that was more than enough, even the way she spoke was tempting.

“Of course, you do.” I said softly going to the pitcher of wine. “Would you like a glass?”

“I would take a sip of yours.” Elia said softly we were getting closer I knew we were. I never cared before how close I was to a girl I slept with. It was not even just that she was my wife. We had something special and it was like a flickering flame not enough air and it will die but to much and it would blow out. Even I knew we had something worth fighting for.

I poured a glass bringing it over to her. “You can have as much as you like.” I promised. She only took a small drink. I sat on the bed next to her.

I took a drink studying her. She looked beautiful with messy curls and those big black eyes staring at me always so cautiously. I set the goblet on the floor.

“Elia if you don’t want to, we can wait.” I tell her before I knew what I was saying it was out of my mouth and I found a relief in it. In not hurting Elia anymore then she was hurt but I already felt rejected before she spoke.

“I don’t want to wait.” She said almost immediately to my great surprise she seemed to realize I needed an explanation. “If we don’t consummate our marriage, they could annul it.” She explained she brushed through her hair and bit her lip; I don’t think Elia even understood how wildly attractive she was, and I found that a great pity but the pride in my chest forced me to ask.

“You want to stay married to me then? Here in the cold scary north. Why?”

She does that subtle pout she always does. “There are things I like about the north.” It’s safer then saying there are things she likes about me.

“Do not leave me in suspense?”

“For one it is not so scary. I’ve been in a lot scarier places. And its not so cold if you have proper ways to stay warm.” She said placing the fur cloak to the side of her smoothing it out with her fingers. I was about to ridicule her for turning my bedchamber into a volcanic mountain. I am so glad I didn’t she looked up at me with those big black eyes. “The best thing about the North is you Brandon.” She says softly her eyes look me over hesitantly scanning for some sort of cruelty or insincerity and she did not find it, so she continued. “You saved my baby, you are brave, honest, you have a good heart even in all your anger, and No one has made me feel safer than you since before the war. Nobody has ever” She told me.

My hand went to the back of her neck. I kissed her, I wanted to kiss her roughly to show her the extent of my desire for her, show her that one mans opinion was not all of ours. As much as I wanted that I did my best to kiss her gently despite the burning in my throat. The last thing I wanted was to scare Elia and there was plenty of time to show her how I felt.

We parted for a moment I looked her over. Elia’s hands went to my cheeks there was a very determined look in those black eyes. Our lips crashed together again Elia stuck her tongue in my mouth, her kiss was still more curious then the way I burned for her I decided to deepen our kiss and Elia did not seem to mind at all her fingers lightly rubbed at the hair of my beard.

When she pulled away, I could not swallow the growl from my throat. “Gods I want you Elia.” I admitted to her. I watched her surprise.

“You do?”

“Of course, I do, your beautiful.” _And I am in love with you._ The voice in my head said but my lips knew better.

I kissed her again but this time I bite at her lip as I pulled away and she made this little wanting noise that made me feel as though her hand was around my heart. I began leaving needy kisses and bites on her neck desperate for more of those sweet little noises. I felt her hand on my back as she pulled in closer, she was now more in my lap then next to me. “Brandon.” She gasped softly which was a better reaction then I could have asked for.

I pushed her down against the bed as gently as I was able, I watched her face for panic but there was none her eyes watched me closely but almost as if excited to see what I would do next.

I bent over top of her I held myself on my hands and knees over her, she leaned up to kiss me again. All hesitation in her kiss was gone we were now crashing our lips on each other like waves, like in most things Elia was a fast learner. Elia began to kiss my neck as I had hers and I was sure that was the last straw.

“Let’s get this off.” I told her pulling the skimpy fabric up enjoying the feel of Elia’s soft skin. I got it up to her thighs before she stopped me her hands over mine, she was tense and uncomfortable all the sudden.

“You need not take it off.” She told me quickly she moved the fabric up a little higher on her thighs. “I am not wearing undergarments.” She promised blushing. The confession of not wearing undergarments and watching Elia pull her dress up for me was more then most men could bear, and I wanted to take the offer badly but resisted.

“Tempting, but I want to see you.” I told her I began to pull at the top of her night gown, giving access to those beautiful brown shoulders going down more until her arms crossed as if to guard her chest.

“W-why must you?” She asked softly as though she was afraid.

“Why don’t you want me to?” I asked softly trying not to scare her anymore then she obviously was.

“I’ve had two babies.” She whispered softly.

I slept with woman who had children before, I knew it left lines on their body, teats can sag and stomachs loosen but it was nothing horribly disfiguring as Elia seemed to think.

From what she told me before I knew exactly who made her feel so terribly ashamed of her body. If he was alive, I would yell at him that he was the dumbest man who ever lived to scorn a wife for the scars she received baring his children before I beat him bloody. But Rhaegar was dead and buried and I did not want to think of him anymore I especially did not want Elia to think of him ever again. I would have to be satisfied instead by pleasing Elia in a way he never could.

“You can keep your night gown on if you want.” I told her I moved off of her instead laying right next to her on my side.

“Are you mad at me?” Elia whispered softly.

“Not at you.” I promised I kissed her temple.

“I want you to tell me to stop if I do anything you don’t like Elia. And I will.” I told her she nodded slowly.

She leaned up to kiss me. I let my finger run over those thick alluring lips I did quite enjoy kissing, but I had something else in mind.

“My beautiful wife.” I mused Elia was truly stunning though I doubted she heard it enough. “Let me do something I think might help to relax you is that alright?”

“Are you going to try and take off my dress again?” She asked she was trying to hide her nerves.

“Not now, not ever if that’s what you decide. I might just move the skirt up like you had suggested.”

“Alright.” She agreed slowly. “What are you going to do?”

“Kiss you in a different way.” I mused with a smirk I kissed her lips quickly before kissing down her neck again, moving down her body slowly. I moved her dress up a little moving my hands up her thighs and seeing the little lines there, in away I admired them, Elia was so small and delicate of health but these lines told the story of what a fighter Elia was, what she willed herself to do twice, and I knew from experience there were very few people who could match Elia in will power.

I moved them apart moving between them.

“Brandon?” Elia asked right before I licked across her slit getting the needy noise, I had wanted from Elia I licked across her again feeling her shudder. I continued lapping at Elia and twirling my tongue across her when I noticed her more muffled noises, she was trying her hardest not to make a sound. She had said something before that she was told to be patient and quiet but that would not do in my bed where she was wanted, desired, loved. “Darling I am going to need you to cry out for me or I am going to think I am to stop.” I told her against her skin.

“Don’t stop!” my princess commanded right before I began sucking at her folds finding there the key to Elia’s pleasure she let out a needy noise as she rolled her hips which I took as a good sign but I had no idea how close she already was until her hands clutched in my hair pulling it tightly keeping my face where she felt desperate for it. “Brandon! Brandon!” She cried out.

I flickered that sensitive bulb across my tongue before sucking on it hard. Elia moaned a long wonderfully as she hips bucked again in her climax, she breathed my name. I continued to suck until her climax ended, I began lapping up her arousal, her hands had gone limp in my hair during her climax now they gently stroked it.

“I am sorry for pulling your hair.” She whispered softly as I came up wiping my face and beard off.

“Don’t apologize, how do you feel?” I asked taking in how lovely she looked laid back against my pillow satisfied.

“Wonderful.” She admits softly. “I’ve never………. thank you.” Elia said and I had to chuckle at her proper manors.

“No manors in here, in this bed I want us to be able to explore and discover each other and not for you to feel the need to speak properly.” I told her my hand patted at her hair.

“I discovered you find you peak quicker than most girls do.”

“Really?” She mused.

“Yes, I did not even get a chance to use my hands.” I told her though in truth I liked the idea that I could quickly please Elia. Maybe once she was more comfortable with me she would let me see how many time I could bring her to completion in a night.

“Your hands?” She asked curiously. Her hand going over the one I placed on her hip, I forgot Elia seemed to like my hands.

“May I?” I asked and she nodded.

I put one finger inside of her moving it in and out now at a better angle from which to see her black eyes lidded the way her breasts heaved, she moved her hips against my finger gasping at the wonderful discovery, my other hand went over her clothed breast rubbing at it while my lips went to the other sucking through the fabric getting beautiful noises from her. Elia’s hands quite nicely fluttered over my back rubbing it.

“Elia please, let me feel you, let me kiss you let me see you.” I begged hoarsely our eyes met and she began pulling her night dress over her had.

“Beautiful.” I mused looking at her dark skin, she was skinny with subtle breasts, lines across her flat belly and womanly hips that had bore children and it was all so breath taking.

“Flatterer.” She grumbled as I kissed up her ribcage to her breasts.

“I don’t flatter Elia, you know that, you are gorgeous as you are stubborn.” I murmured against her skin as I kissed and licked and bit at her chest.

“I’m stubborn?” Elia asked it was truly something we shared.

I added a finger thrusting into her moving them faster Elia began to arch again with wonderful whiny noises.

“Come on beautiful come for me again.” I told her against her skin she threw her head back against the pillow she cried out as she came.

I removed my fingers licking them Elia tasted so good, but I was longing to feel her, and my erection was getting to the point of painful with want of her. Elia though was catching her breath and I decided to give her the time to as I was not quite done with her breasts, they were large by no means but they were nice and so damning sensitive at my very touch her nipples hardened it was wonderful.

I became aware of her hands working my shirt up.

I looked up at her to protest. My body would have much more then little pale lines on it. The bruises on my neck were still gruesome and the scars all over my body were not neat lines but brutal marring marks from knives, swords, and whips.

“I want to see you.” She pouted and I could hardly deny her. I nodded my agreement she sat up pulling at my shirt she ended up on her knees to get it off. She smiled triumphantly and it made me chuckle. Her hand softly moved against a large scar across my chest. To my surprise she did not seem disgusted or uncomfortable by it instead she pressed a kiss to the mark on my shoulder looking up at me as if asking if it was ok.

My eyes were fixed on her, but my hand played at her hair and I nodded. She kissed over my scars I was stunned silent all I could do was pet her hair as I watched her Elia had a goodness about her most people didn’t have in a lifetime. Once I regained the ability to speak it was everything I could do not to tell her I was in love with her. “Come here beautiful” I told her pulling her up into my arms she embraced me tightly. “I am very lucky to have married you Elia.” I whispered softly before kissing her.

“Why do you keep saying these sweet things?” She pants between kisses.

“True things.” I promised kissing her again. “I need you Elia.” I told her.

Her hands played at the hemline of my jeans and bite her lip. “May I?” She asked.

I nodded furiously whatever it was she wanted she could have I decided about the time she bite her lip. I found myself sitting with my legs in front of me at her request.

She untied the laces of my trousers giving them a little tug and then pulling them she got them low enough for me to kick off, she looked at me as she brought her hand down as if questioning if this were ok before running her hand across my hard member making me let out an animalist growl.

I pulled her in closer she began kissing me as I positioned her over me. I moved her down just enough to feel me rub against her entrance. She gasped out. “I thought you would enjoy the opportunity to be in control.” I admitted she smiled and kissed me. It was best to let her set the pace. Her hand grasped my shoulders as she moved down upon me. She was slow at first getting used to it, but she did I wasn’t sure anyone could move their hips like Elia. I found myself thrusting up into her this was a nice angle too. Elia’s and my own needy sounds mixed together beautifully.

“Brandon” Elia moaned her voice hitched a little, she was close my hands moved to her hips keeping up the pace while she climaxed her lips sucked on my neck afterword she was limp in my arms her arms wrapped around my neck her head rested against my shoulder as she tried to catch her breath. Her hands ran against my chest. It was odd how much I loved her touch.

I found I was close one hand on her hip the other on her ass as I thrusted up into her. “Elia gods Elia I-“ I started but everything went a little hazy as I reached my peak.

I fell back onto the bed taking Elia with me she giggled against my neck. She looked up at me with tired eyes. “That was….lovely.” She said softly.

“Your lovely.” I said wiping away sweat from my neck before kissing her head.

“Elia, I have got to stop one of these fires before we die of heat stroke.” I told her making her pout but move off me I took the pitch of water by the fire pouring out the fire. I brought the basin and the towel over to her, but I left it on the near table as I watched her. She laid on her back and her fingers trailed over the marks on her body she had a little smile on her face. She looked up at me.

“I never knew it could be like that.” She said softly. “Not in my wildest dreams.”

I smiled lightly. “Do you want anything? Food? Wine?” I asked as I went back toward the bed as she shook her head. “Alright well are you tired? Do you want to go to sleep or go again?” I asked softly.

She smiled. “We can go again?” She asked happily.

“Of course.” I told her as I climbed back into bed.

“Again then!” She said smiling that glorious smile of hers that always seemed to mean everything was right in the world. I climbed on top of her. “Is this ok?” I asked because this is what I was desperate for.

Elia nodded with a smile. “Its your turn to feel some control.” Elia promised showing of that wit of hers. I pulled her legs around to wrap around me and I looked into her black eyes and I wanted to tell her that I loved her but I knew she would not believe me, we had a lot in common, we both needed control, we were both stubborn, and we were both paranoid.

Instead I began kissing and biting at her neck before thrusting into her, I would have to settle for bringing us both pleasure, but when she touched me and called out Brandon I knew it wasn’t enough like sex always had been before. I had to tell her I love her, to convince her of it and earn her love in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sex scenes are so painfully awkward for me to write. I hope it turned out ok? Please let me know what you think and thanks for reading!


	10. Married

Chapter 10: Married

It was odd being married to Brandon stark and watching him happily snore. After the way he had made me feel. The thought of it still caught my breath and made me shutter. The things he said and did would be seared into my brain for the rest of my life. He was so sweet and gentle, and his grey eyes looked as dark as mine. Even the second time when he was rougher and more urgent in his bedding those eyes told me he was doing his best to hold back. The devious side of my mind wondered what it would be like if he did not.

I had been so tired after our bedding I fell into a perfect dreamless sleep until I was woken by Brandon’s snoring. That would take getting used to. Sharing a bed would also take some getting used to. Brandon had tried to throw the covers off the bed twice and It’s the third time he pulls them away to the other side of him and I go to reach for them.

“Go back to sleep.” He grumbles and kisses my head. I move to get the closest blanket wrapping it around me deciding not to share with him he will only get hot and throw my blanket off.

Against Brandon’s chest my eyes began to feel heavy.

I awoke again but not because of Brandon’s snoring instead it was his screaming he was calling for his father in between screaming no.

“Brandon” I called before shaking him. “Brandon! Brandon wake up it’s just a dream.”

His eyes snapped open.

“Breath.” I told him softly he seemed to need the reminder.

His hand touched my face as if realizing it was in fact me. “You shouldn’t…….I could have hurt you.”

“But you didn’t.” I told him softly. “Do you want to talk about your nightmare?” I asked softly getting a glare in return.

He was tired, angry and upset I tried not to take it to personal when he says. “You want me to bare my soul to you when I can hardly get how you actually feel out of you?”

“That’s not true, completely.” I told him softly my hand ran over his damp hair. “I have trouble trusting people but it doesn’t mean I don’t want to trust you.” I admitted softly something changed in him.

“Come here tell me about your nightmares.” Brandon said softly I did as bid laying in his arms.

“If I’m not dreaming about the horrible things that actually happened to my family; I dream I am on dragonstone and I am running to the nursery but I am always to late my children are dead in their cribs and there’s this figure standing over them.” I admitted softly he embraced me tighter and I felt a little better in his arms.

“Was it Rhaegar were you afraid of him Elia?”

“In a manor of speaking but……I did not see there face.” I lied it was always his beautiful sister smiling at me with the same victorious smile she gave me when I spoke to her after harrenhell. Her hands were wet with blood and she smiled at me.

“You dream about things that happened to you?” Brandon asked softly.

“About being imprisoned in the red keep, mostly about Aegon being taken from me.” I admitted my hand rubbed his arm.

“What about you?”

“I dream of the throne room a lot when my father was burned alive usually it’s how it was but sometimes I am the one burning alive and Ned is the one in a noose, sometimes its Lyanna and I just keep waiting because I don’t think I could stomach it even thought of Ben.” He admits theres a cracking in his voice Benjen stark was the most precious thing to Brandon. I embraced him tightly.

“That’s terrible I am so sorry.”

“What do you do Elia.”

“I tell myself I am safe now, that my children are safe here and my brothers are safe in Dorne.” I told him.

“Before or after you start smelling your children?” He asked trying to smirk but his eyes were watery when I looked up at him.

“Oh, usually during.” I said I wondered why that was so odd to Brandon or at least why he always had to mention it. 

“And it helps?”

“Yes, I wish I could help you.” I told him softly.

“Just stay in my arms for a little longer.” He asked and I did.

When I woke up in the morning, I was surprised Brandon was there. I was cuddled against his chest and he was playing with my hair.

“I’m starting to think you like it insufferably hot.” He groaned pushing away the fur on us.

“I am starting to believe your one of the ice men, Donella told me about.” I teased.

“You mean whitewalkers?”

“Either way I am cold.” I told him wrapping the discarded fur around me.

“Maybe you just need to let me hold you tighter.” Brandon said with no mention of the tight embrace we shared after his nightmare. “Even if you do kick in your sleep.” He said with a chuckle before kissing my head.

I looked up at him. “You snore.” I told him.

“One of the many reasons I let you sleep in. “

“Did you sleep any better?” I asked softly.

“No, but it’s nice having you in my arms when I do wake up. “ He promised. “Myla put food on the chest if you’re hungry.”

“We aren’t going to the hall for breakfast?”

“I wanted to spend more time with you.” Brandon said softly something had been different about him I noticed it when he brought Aegon to me, but it started before

that.

He was still struggling with whatever it was, and he came back sure but I did not know what it was he found such confidence in. He was so much more than just not making my life harder. It was almost as if he wanted to share a life with me. Still I doubted he could want that. Old Paranoia would not let me rest like poor Brandon’s nightmares would not let him.

“Everyone will wonder where we are.” I reminded him.

“So?”

“It would be bad manners.”

“I would hate if everyone thought I had bad manners.” He teased.

I breathed in deeply fighting the voices that nagged in my head I decided to be honest with Brandon.

“In truth it was a lovely thought, but I miss my babies.” I said I watched his face for anger as he processed what I was saying.

“Do you feed the little one?”

“Opposed to him not eating?” I asked at his odd question.

“No I mean do you FEED him.” Brandon said as if I should know understand finally albeit nervously he points to my breasts.

I laughed. “No, I do not breastfeed him anymore I used to, I fed both of my children myself it was something I insisted upon.” I said proudly.

“I would not think princesses do that.”

“This one did, when they were babies now they eat food.” I told him with a giggle.

“I don’t know how big he is not like I can count his rings.”

“What?” I asked.

“Like trees, you can tell how old they are by counting the rings when you cut them open.” Brandon explained.

“Doesn’t apply to……..babies.” I said disturbed.

“See you admitted he’s a baby!”

“He will always be my baby.” I explained.

“For Gods sake this is maddening!” Brandon groaned moving me off him and getting up.

“Where are you, what are you?” I asked not sure what was going on his laughter made me think he wasn’t angry, but he dressed in a hurry.

“Get dressed, or at least put a robe on. “I am going to let Myla come in and change the sheets and send for more food. I will go get your children bring them in here and we can all eat together.” He explained as he pulled his pants on before coming back over to where I laid in shock. “Happy?” he asked.

I leaned up kissing him. “More than ever before.” I admitted softly.

“Good, that’s the plan.” Brandon said with that wild smile.

We ate with the children and he even decided to go walking with us before beginning his day.

It was very unclear to me how we got to my little tiny daughter on a pony Brandon moved around the yard. He said they would like to see the horsies and now we were here. Sometimes because of the way Brandon was a natural leader and was so commanding he seemed so much older than he was but smiling and playing with Rhaenys he truly looked like the young man he was.

“Be careful.” I said softly he had the pony’s reins and watched her happily smiling at Brandon she held herself perfect like a princess.

“Stark!” Aegon cried at Brandon. I was trying to teach him to say my lord and my lady apparently nobody did anything for his education while he was in Kingslanding. I wanted to know what had befallen my poor boy but he couldn’t tell me but if the word queen was mentioned in Aegon’s presence he would cry and all I could do was hold him. Brandon of course loved the moniker.

“Yes Targaryen?” Brandon mused. “Or maybe I should say Martell, you have your mommies smile.” Brandon told him leading the pony back over to us.

Aegon reached his arms up to Brandon opening and closing his hands to let him know he wanted a turn. “UP UP!” He cried.

I gave Brandon a look of warning I already wanted to snatch Rhaenys off that little pony. But she was so happy. She was telling the pony how much she loved it.

Brandon chuckled as I put my arm around Rhaenys. Brandon picked Aegon up placing him on his shoulders. “When your bigger you can ride horsies too. And be very good at it Just like Rhaenys!” Brandon said making her smile.

“I am!” She squealed.

“A natural.” Brandon assured.

I miss him when Brandon is gone but he’s the lord of Winterfell and has certain duties. When nan has the children, who do just adore her. I sometimes go to his office and look at the books while Brandon does his correspondence, we chatter usually about the running of Winterfell.

“Thank the gods everyone is leaving but despite my best judgement I have told Eddard to stay for a while longer.” Brandon said.

“He is your brother.” I noted I would love to see my brothers.

“That’s hardly the reason, he’s to help with the ruling of Winterfell while I’m occupied.”

“What are you occupied with?” I teased.

“The most important task, we’re newlyweds, we are to barley come out of our chambers till your with child.” He said with a wide devious grin, but I stiffened.

I looked at him with watery eyes and he looked so concerned. “Brandon I cannot give you children.” I whispered as tears poured down my face.

“Elia.” He said softly he reached for me, but I shook my head I could not bear his wonderful touch in a time like this. When I couldn’t give Brandon what he wanted and deserved. Thankfully he respected that.

“I have brothers Elia it’s alright this was there plan remember.”

“But you want children?” I asked he never really said either way.

He took out a handkerchief handing it to me. “I want you.” He promised.

“Ned can leave soon once I finish my plan, he will not return to a rundown keep in the woods. Until then I thought since Robb and Jon will be staying, Aegon should sleep in the nursery with them. “

“Why?” I asked whipping my eyes trying to collect yourself.

“So he can be with other little boys. “ He said he seemed to see my face falter. “Its tradition in the north for husband and wife to share a bed chamber, my parents always had and….I was wondering if you could consider it?”

“So I can kick you and you can snore and keep me awake for the rest of our lives?” I asked smiling softly he did not seem upset.

He started to reach for me but stopped so I got up sitting on his lap in his big chair. His arms slowly wrapped around me. “We will get use to each other.” He promised with a genuine happy smile.

“What about Rhaenys?”

“Well she can have her own room she’s a big girl.” Brandon reminded.

“You said the plan was to make me happy?” I remembered.

“Your children too, I want them to feel happy and safe in winterfell. So we will never have children of our own but I will be there step father. I will put a wooden sword into Aegon hand and teach him how to use it, I will teach Rhaenys how to ride a proper horse, I will keep them safe from any who would oppose them and someday they will make snow piles over gates and I will pretend not to have taught them.” He said with a great big smile. “You’ve already given everything I need.” He promised.

He was such a good man I kissed him before giggling I nearly forgot Benjen snow mountain trick.

“In Dorne Oberyn and I would sand beds of people we did not like.

“Sand beds?”

“You take sand and put it on their bedsheets then make the bed. You want enough to make them uncomfortable but not enough that they notice.” I explained as I toyed with his hands I was trying my best to keep myself grounded but it was hard, when Brandon was so wonderful I did not want to be falling for him I told myself I wasn’t but he saved my son, he wanted to take my daughter around the yard on a little pony, he was brave, strong, bold and hard, but he was also very gentle when I needed him to be. And when we had sex he made me feel lovable for the first time in along time.

I could not admit it to him because I could not really tell myself. I tore myself away from his admiring gaze and that wild grin he delighted hearing of a good prank.

“And no one called you out on this?”

I giggled like a girl sometimes I forgot I was only 26, I felt very aged by what happened to me. Sometimes Brandon too acted like an angry old man when really he was 21 and I was 26 and we were just married, it did not seem as odd as it once did.

“Doran did. Usually Doran is a subtle man, but he wanted us to know he was smarter than us. Which he really is. He poured sand on Oberyn while he slept.”

“And you?”

“Well I was his weak little sister I thought I was spared till I opened my trunk to find my dresses Buried in sand.”

Brandon cracked up laughing. My other hand rubbed against his chest softly I never imagined being comfortable and laughing in his arms when we first met. Now I seemed to long for it.

“Don’t know why we tried Doran was always a step ahead for years we didn’t know he cracked our secret code.” I said when a realization hit me.

“Before you very deviously but very well distracted me I asked if you wanted to live with me lady Stark.” Brandon teased but those grey eyes were serious.

“Alright.” I agreed standing up. “But I need the vanity brought into your room and maybe another chest. “

“Have at it. Take the dresser I don’t use it I think it was my mothers.” He said I kissed him and he smiled, it was so odd to me the little effects my kisses and touches could have on Brandon I was beginning to believe Rhaegar was right I was completely undesirable but Brandon was changing my mind again.

I went back to my rooms going to the note Doran left me.

_Just something to remined you how loved you are. Until we are untied again. Still though our situation is not ideal I wish you every happiness. Time will tell if this man is worthy on you. It is my wish to make peace with this new king and I hope this marriage mayphaps be it’s beginning. Coming to the understanding that everything is for the best will make your new life much easier to bare. Everything for Elia Martell._

_Your loving brother Doran Martell prince of Dorne_

I rewrote it as to not mar my brothers writing then I circled all the first letters of each sentence and underlined the last line excluding the first word just as we did when we were a child.

_JUSTICE for Elia Martell._

What were my brothers planning? To bring us home. To kill the man who tried to hurt us, or maybe the man who had sent him? And then a great worry was sent through me. Were they trying to get my son his throne back? It was rightfully Aegons but it would tear up the life we were building here and put him in danger again.

I needed to get a message to Doran but I did not know what it would say and how I could get a strange message through Brandon and Luwin without them noticing. Especially because Brandon would find it odd if I sent a curious message and undoubtedly ask about it. Then it dawned on me I should just tell Brandon but I could not telling Brandon could be bad for my brothers.

I threw the copy of the note I made into the fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really didn't want Elia to magically make Brandon's nightmares go away more that it's comforting for him to have here there when he does have them. I think they are really sweet so I had to throw them a curve ball.  
> The next chapter will be from Dorne...
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and let me know what you think!


	11. Justice

Chapter 11: Justice

I watched Jon Arryn walk into Sunspeare, I always thought it was important to size up one’s enemy. I gave him the same opportunity to see our fortress the castle that kept out assassins and sellswords in the first Dornish war, filled with secret passage ways and hidden tunnels to escape should the castle be burning under dragon flame, everything Sunspeare was is what our enemies made us, ready for anything, It was only a small taste of our capability but I hoped Jon Arryn knew well enough to heed our warning.

With him was a large force of guards and a coffin carrying my uncles’ bones.

Oberyn stood next to me. His eyes were red he barely slept anymore, and he raged late into the night. They were constant companions as children, and he was taking this incredibly hard. I did not rage or weep like Oberyn did, I was more in control of my emotions but if Jon Arryn mistook that for me loving Elia any less then Oberyn, for being willing to do any less for Elia they were wrong. I would cut off my own hand if it would bring Elia and her children to the safety of Dorne.

“I am here on the behalf of his grace king Robert Baratheon.” Jon announced he had a number of knights and guards with him, they would not make a difference in a fight.

We did not bow to the usurpers proxy; we would not have bowed to the usurper if he stood before us. In truth we did not bow to Rhaegar when he came to Dorne to meet the woman he would marry. Dornish backs do not bend so easily. Jon Arryn eyed Oberyn. Oberyn was not a man to be treaded on in the best circumstances, at 25 my brother was as much weapon as he was man, his pain made him all the more intimidating.

Good I thought watch Oberyn worry about his anger, it’s never the scorpion you spot that stings you.

“Lord Arryn, I am prince Doran Nymeros Martell of Dorne, this is my brother Oberyn Nymeros Martell of Dorne.” He bowed his head he was a man of respect we were not men who gave our respect freely. Oberyn and I shared a glance.

“You bring us our uncle’s body.” I stated seeing the white sword on the coffin.

“As an act of peace.” Jon said as though this was a great service. He expected a thank you he never received.

“Instead of our sister. “I said simply. “You sold her to some northern lord though she was not yours to sell, Elia is a princess of Dorne and has the rights of a Dornish woman not of your westeroesi woman you use as brood mares!” I stated.

Jon Arryn peeled his eyes away from Oberyn to look at me for a moment.

“You forced our hand by not agreeing to peace prince Oberyn. Princess Elia could not go to dorne while you were in open rebellion.” He said as though it were simple as if Aerys had not been holding my sister hostage and threatening her death for a long time. Though his horrible son treated Elia like dirt I sent him an army so Elia and her children would be safe, and their safety is still my first concern.

“If I had signed your peace treaty my sister would return home, but are you going to lie to my face and tell me you would have let Aegon and Rhaenys come to Dorne?” I asked his lip twitched. It was as I figured signing for peace when Rhaegar fell, I might as well dig a little grave for my nephew myself. The moment Elia was in Dorne an accident would be fall her boy if not her daughter as well.

“Princess Elia has been reunited with her son, Lord Stark came to the capital to get him, this is not the act of a noncaring man.” Jon promised. “Being the Lady of Winterfell is a very honorable position.”

Lord Starks heroic act could be one of love, but it could have selfish means. I did not know which. I did not know him. Oberyn knew him a little. Which had not boded well he broke every piece of furniture in his rooms when he heard she was married to him no one dared go to him besides me.

_Even the servants were afraid to bring him food. I found him in the middle of the wreckage of his room chairs broken against walls and bedding torn, his mattress was even and ripped apart, wine spilled on the floor and furniture hacked to bits and the same mad man who destroyed all his things cried on the floor as blood ran down his fists. Unlike everyone else I did not see the rage driven monster, I saw the young man who was devastated, His sister was far away married to another man he did not trust, and he could not help her, and he could not protect her and I understood this because my heart looked like his room. I put a try off food down in as good a place as there was._

_“Who’s winning, you or Sunspeare?” I asked he gave me a glare, but the tears ran down his face, he did not want to laugh or be cheered up. I should have known I would do the wrong thing. Oberyn and I could always agree on was Elia. She was always the peacekeepers between us and so far, we could not even come together to help her. That all had to change._

_I stiffly bent down to sit on the floor next to him. I put my arm around him, and he allowed me to pull him close like I would when he was a boy. Usually Elia would be hugging onto my other side._

_“We will get her back Oberyn no matter what it takes, her children as well.”_

_“I will kill every single one of them if I must.”_

_“If we must, we will.” I agreed and just for a moment I was able to comfort my brother and that in turn comforted me. But it only lasted for a moment because there would be no true comfort until our family was safe._

“His reputation does him no credit.” I said while Oberyn gave Jon Arryn a venomous glare.

“I am sure she is very happy with him.” Jon Arryn tried.

“How would we know we are not allowed to see our own sister!” Oberyn hissed I told him I would handle the talking but Oberyn’s patience had worn thin and he was not one to hold back or wait.

“As soon as you signed the peace treaty prince Doran you and your brother both could go visit her in Winterfell.” He said simply.

“Your peace treaty?! You want peace?! Then-“ Oberyn began shouting I gave him a look he understood and he stopped. I watched the wheels turn in Jon Arryn’s head he was thinking I could control Oberyn. I could not no man could, but we agreed we would do what we had to to get Elia and her children to Dorne and my look told him I had an idea.

“I will not sign anything until I have seen Elia and heard from her own lips how she and her children are.” I promised.

“After-“Jon began and I stood up ignoring the slight ache in my leg it caused.

“NO! We did not fall to the other houses in the war for Dorne, we did not fall from the Dragons like all you other houses did! WE ARE WHAT OUR ENEMIES HAVE MADE US!” I screamed and watched his shock I composed myself to say. “And there is nothing Oberyn or I are not willing to become to see our sister again!” I swore.

“If you saw here and met lord Stark would you sign the treaty?” Jon Arryn asked.

“Have them come to Dorne and this entire matter can be settled.” I promised.

“Kingslanding would be better surely you can both journey there. Surely Lord Stark can send princess Elia-“

“They must both come!” I declared as I decided it Oberyn glanced at me but kept his face neutral.

“Lord Stark…. would not enjoy being summoned to Kingslanding and I doubt he would answer a summon. He was clear his last journey to Kingslanding would be his last journey to Kingslanding.” Jon Arryn explained.

“Forgive me Lord Arryn but that sounds terribly like your problem as I have already offered to host and been soundly declined.

“Fine, then I will leave with Ser Lewyn’s bones which was what we discussed, and I will return to Kingslanding. Elia will stay with Lord Stark and you can continue to brood.” Jon Arryn said matter of factly.

“Have a safe trip home Lord Arryn.” I told him simply he turned away and so did I going towards those horrible stairs as Oberyn quietly let his distain be known to me.

“Oh Lord Arryn would you be so kind to deliver a message to your king for me?” I asked looking back to him. He more formally turned.

“Very well.” He said trying to hide his anger.

“Dorne is now an independent kingdom from the six others, that is all.” I told him; Jon Arryn’s eyes widened Oberyn smirked gleefully.

“You cannot!”

“I can.”

“War will rage”

“Let it.” I said I never wanted my people to have to go to war but Elia was worth it and my people knew that. They would happily die for their beloved princess.

“The king is a great warrior and he will put this down himself.” Jon Arryn said more to himself then us he was turning very pale. He knew the crown could not survive another war right now.

“He can try.” I agreed. “That has not worked well in the past.”

“He’s fought your men before.” Jon Arryn reminded.

“Not in Dorne.” Oberyn and I said at the same time with the same smirk.

“Many have tried invading Dorne, the sands are shifting with the winds of late, you may see their bodies.”

“The king is a great warrior he will lead an army.”

“He won’t be the first to come he won’t be the first to die.” I said simply. “You want Dorne, we want our sister it’s very simple Lord Arryn there is no need to complicate it.”

“I understand why your brother would selfishly plunge his nation into war, but how can you do this prince Doran?” Jon Arryn tried believing me to be the reasonable one. Reason had long since left me.

“Because she is my sister.” I told him simply.

“We will have our peace talks in the Riverlands to accommodate Lord Stark, will this satisfy?”

“Just arrange the meeting, as long as Elia and the husband you forced on her are they’re with her son and daughter so will I.” Doran promised.

“Even the children?” Jon Arryn asked exasperated by me.

“I must see that my niece and nephew living.”

“Fine but since you ignored the grounds of this meeting ser Lewyn will be buried in Kingslanding with the other members of the kingsguard.” Jon Arryn says.

“My uncle has suffered enough of the capital he stays.”

“No.” Jon Arryn said determined to win something today.

I turned to Oberyn who was already smiling. “Do not kill Lord Arryn try not to kill his men unless they attack you.” I told him simply.

He smiled I watched the Vale men’s nerves as My brother picked up his spear.

“Save the lives of your men Lord Arryn.” I advised sitting back down. My legs felt stiff and watching Oberyn move the way he could only pained me more. I was hoping the warning would do it.

Obery banged his spear against the floor. And suddenly the room filled with the sound as our guards began doing the same, from behind columns and out of shadows the noise began to thunder, and they realized just how guarded we were. Oberyn leaped forward to the coffin spinning his spear in the air. He landed and they scattered back away from him.

“Lets go.” Jon Arryn told his men.

“You are welcome to rest in Sunspeare my lord?” I told him with fake hospitality.

“The boat is not far.” Jon assured he would feel safer at sea then with two mad Dornish men.

We exchanged unpleasant goodbyes as I got almost everything I wanted.

Once he was gone, I went to uncle Lewyns coffin. I cursed myself for not being able to save my beloved uncle. Even now Oberyn could not hide his joy. He loved Lewyn as well, but he was a warrior who died in war Oberyn saw it a fitting ending for a great man. I saw it as a prince of Dorne dying for an idiot and his mad father while they threatened my sister’s life to keep Lewyn and myself in line. We were powerless to stop the Dragons, powerless to help Elia, and poor Lewyn died feeling powerless. This was for him as well.

Oberyn smiled because at long last he thought to be united with his beloved sister.

“You sent him away like a scolded child.” Oberyn said happily. “You were brilliant mother would have been so proud.” He assured but I did not want his praise not when I was about to hurt him so.

“What if it’s a trap to arrest or even kill us in the riverlands like the Bloodraven did to Aenys Blackfyre when he came to sit upon the council? That would be best for them to leave Dorne to my little daughter and Mel as her regent. My wife would rather have peace then even the idea her children could be hurt.” I told him.

“What are you saying?” Oberyn bit out all the pride he had in me already was washing away.

“We cannot both go.” I told him not wanting to get his hopes up.

“I will go, I will do exactly as you tell me to and I will bring her home!” Oberyn promised we both knew him incapable of not following his own impulses.

“IT’s a peace meeting Oberyn, you are made for war and if they imprison or kill me you will have to fight a war to save Elia and her children you will be the acting prince of Dorne.” I told him.

He threw his spear letting it crash against the wall behind me. Guards moved forward but I shook my head avoiding the carnage. Oberyn was in so much pain and rage and I hated causing it but Dorne had to go on.

“I wanted it to be you too!” I told him softly. As much as I loved Elia I was sure she loved Oberyn more that he and all his considerable skills would be more comforting to her if she felt in danger. Elia would understand, Oberyn would never really forgive me for this.

“And we were getting along so well.” He growled before storming off I wondered how he would sooth his rage with sex or a kill. Either way I would look the other way in the end. In all his insolence and horrible behavior, I could never do more then slap Oberyn on the wrist. I loved him too much. Even when I was fed up with his childish irrational ways, I could hear Elia’s voice in my head.

 _“Be patient with Oberyn. I would hate to think of you both so far away fighting and unhappy. I want you to be a comfort to each other in whatever may come.”_ The last thing she said to me after our goodbyes when she was leaving for Kingslanding to marry her dragon. Oberyn got to escort her and I had to stay in Dorne. She was leaving everything she ever known to marry a stranger and she worried about her brothers. That was Elia she was all good.

I thought of Elia always bringing peace between us, what would she say now seeing us behave in such away? Even if it was for her. It would make her unhappy if she was not already unhappy. I thought of her in the cold north far away from those who loved her. Some northern heathen pawing at her, trying to force his whelps onto her. Oberyn told me he heard at Harrenhal from a Northman with a strange sigil that deep in the North they still practiced first night a savage tradition in a savage land. The thought made me deeply angry insufferably angry. Oberyn thought he alone was upset about Elia’s treatment because he showed it and I only felt it inside, but I loved her too.

I thought back to walking through the water gardens with her when she was 16 still but a girl about to go one her first travels away from Dorne to meet several suitors. Long before the dragon prince.

Elia had a little water snake in her hands letting it move through her fingers curling and coiling around them. Elia and Oberyn shared many things and one were an obsession with snakes since they were little they would hunt for them. Mother made sure the maestor taught them the difference between the venomous snakes and the harmless ones she ordered them to only play with the harmless ones though Oberyn never listened. Oberyn was quick and agile he could grab them up before they had a chance to strike, he learned how to milk their venom but Elia was calm and patient she knew how to gain there trust like the water snake the watersnake she played with now.

“What if none of them like me?” Elia asked softly she was a gentle girl who wanted to be a wife and a mother she wanted to be loved. 

“Who could not like you snake charmer?” I asked making her smile. Yes, even snakes liked Elia, I wondered if it was her gentle ways or good heart that won them over. But years later we would find a dragon was not a snake and from far away all I could do was hear how Rhaegar tore her apart little by little powerless to stop him to help my sister.

I turned back to my uncle’s coffin. Uncle Lewyn always saw the best in me, said I was the best man he ever known. He might be the only person to ever prefer me over Oberyn.

“I will only do what they make me uncle. I am a monster of their creation.” I promised him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter from Oberyn's perspective and even Jon Arryn's perspective before I decided to write it from Doran's POV. I did not think I would do that but I am really happy with how it turned out. I wanted to show how different Oberyn and Doran were from Brandon and his brothers. I also wanted a little reflection on Elia's childhood in Dorne. Hope you like it. Please let me know what you think and thank you so much for reading!


	12. Playthings

Chapter 12: Playthings 

I watched Elia look around the nursery nervously. I tried to help best I could. I knew this was hard for her. Rhaenys loved having her own room, but Aegon was not taking well to the nursery and that was weighing on his mother.

Nan suggested making it feel more like home adding some of his things. Elia said she had nothing of his Robert took it all away saying it belonged to the crown. How my brother could stand that man was beyond me.

I put Benjen on the task of finding where our old playthings went since he was surely the last to play with them. At first, he was annoyed at a task he deemed childish until I explained that they were for Aegon so he would stop screaming all night which would help Elia not be so distressed and he set to it. Benjen genuinely cared about Elia I think he liked having the children around too it made him feel less like the baby.

Benjen had brought in a old green chest with the help of one of the Cassel boys. In the boxes were blocks, wooden statues and puppets.

“None of this will do.” She said simply.

“Why not.” I asked holding a wooden soldier I believed was once mine.

“All of the boys are too little for these things. It’s dangerous, they could swallow blocks or figurines or strangle themselves with the puppets strings!” She told me.

“That’s dark Elia.” I chuckled setting the toys aside.

“It’s called being a parent you worry about everything.”

Deeper into the box was clothing, I picked up a thick brown shirt with a grey Direwolf stitched onto it.

“It would be nice to give these to Robb?” I more asked then told. Elia was the one who told me she could not have children, but I still did not want to hurt her feelings. It was not like Aegon or Jon for that matter needed a shirt with a Direwolf on it.

“Yes, he will grow into it.” She agreed. I just put it down she picked it up straightening it out before folding it perfectly making me laugh.

I found the clothes with direwolves on them and Elia folded them putting them aside neatly she started a second pile of the clothes without a direwolf on them. “Jon needs clothes too.” She reminded.

“What about Aegon?”

“I will make Aegon clothes, these are your memories they should stay in your family.” Elia said she was so understanding.

“Ned and I used to sleep in here.” I told her looking around.

“Really.” She mused.

“Yes, even when we moved out of the nursery, we shared a room.”

“Were you ever close.”

“Very, we were each other’s first friend and competition, we always had to beat each other but he was my little brother sometimes I let him win. Sometimes when he would be scared at night he would crawl into my bed because I was his big brother it was my job to protect him.” I said I smiled without realizing it and she smiled too.

“I want that for Aegon I do but he hates it and his screams and he wakes the other babies.” She reminded. I looked to the cribs. Aegon was with Luwin he was sure Aegon just needed worn out during the day and was taking the children on a long walk around Winterfell.

Robb’s mother took him to play most days Catelyn seemed to love nothing more than her son. I wanted to point out loving their children was something Elia and Catlyen had in common, but I knew better then to try and force them to be friends.

Elia was looking at the last inhabitant of the nursery.

“You have to be the look out.” She said happily getting up and going over to him.

“Why? are you going to rob the baby?”

Elia laughed as he picked him up. “No but your brother hates when I am near Jon he doesn’t like me.” Elia said simply the baby cooed and tugged at Elia’s hair. I tried not to think of how good Elia looked holding a little baby wrapped in grey furs I tried to ignore how it made me feel.

“I wish I could explain but I don’t think I understand Ned.”

“I know I don’t, Jon should be out with Nan and the other children not locked away in here where he only gets picked up when he cries. “She said staring at the baby happily swaying him around.

I reached further into the trunk running into clothes I did not recognize long white night shirts as I dug there were more with ruffles and bows, Lyanna’s I assumed. I found among them Lyanna’s doll. It was painted to look like her. I remembered this I smiled looking at it. I looked at Elia she was staring happily at Jon.

“My father had this made for Lyanna!” I told her catching her attention.

“Oh, It’s very nice.” She said simply but she did not seem to mean it. She handed Jon to the attending nurse maid instead of back in his cot. “He likes being held. I expect him to be he needs to feel cared for.”

“Yes m’lady.” The maid promised.

“I should go see-“

“Wait, we are not done trying to spruce up the nursery.” I reminded not sure what was going on.

“I am sure you have it handled.” She said quickly trying to rush away.

“The man who almost gave the babies strangling and choking toys?”

Elia nodded she was no longer trying to rush out of the room but neither did she come back over to the trunk. She was stiff as if something changed. I looked back at the doll.

“All these other things were inherited from the starks of old but this doll, my father got it for Lyanna she was his only daughter after all.”

“Sweet.” Elia said softly before forcing a smile.

I looked at the doll’s brown eyes. This was Lyanna’s most prized possession until she put it down for horse reigns. Now she could never pick it up again for her own children.

“Did you have a doll?”

“I had many dolls; I was a princess.” Elia said hastily and slightly annoyed.

I figured out why she was acting so odd. She never wanted for anything and her children did not have any toys, I was so sure that was it. That was just like Elia. I smiled holding the doll up to her.

“Rhaenys can have this.” I said rather proud of my sweet gesture. I have thought Elia would come into my arms with joy. She did not.

She only held the doll for a moment before pushing it back to me.

“That’s sweet but unnecessary.” She promised.

“I want her to have it.” I told her truly I liked Rhaenys she was a precious child.

“No, it was your sisters it belongs to a little stark girl, in fact Catelyn should get it incase she has a daughter.” Elia said.

“No, I am going to give it to Rhaenys she is a sweet girl she deserves a beautiful doll.”

“NO! I said no, and she is my daughter and I will not share-” Elia snapped like I had never seen before. As soon as it was over her eyes filled with remorse. “I am sorry.” She whispered.

“What the hell Elia?”

“I am sorry. I do not feel so well excuse me.” Elia said softly before abruptly leaving.

Elia did not go to dinner. I was told she hadn’t felt well, and a tray was sent to her. I knew Elia’s health was frail sometimes I saw how it strained her, but this was odd to me.

When I went to our bedchambers she was there. In her night robe.

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

“Better thank you.” She said softly. In our brief marriage we spent every night exploring each other’s bodies. I was happy to find Elia to be very curious about what she had been missing out on. Tonight, I was not so sure. She did reach for the ointment. Elia has decided that if we were to share a bedroom that would entail her putting Luwin’s ointment on wounds which despite my annoyance was helping ease the pain.

To that effect I began undressing. I laid down and let her rub the ointment on my back she was always very gentle.

“I’m sorry I-“She began.

“I overstepped they are your children.” I admitted.

“No.” She promised. “You do not know how much it means to me that your so good to them, it wasn’t you.”

“Was it the doll?” I jeered.

“I….just, I cannot explain it I was just angry.” She softly admits something I understood all too well.

“You were saying that you did not want to share your daughter with me Elia just admit it!” I told her with a sigh.

“No, I wasn’t!” She declares tiredly. Usually she rubbed my back while she did this making the experience much more enjoyable, but she was done of me tonight and seemed to just put the medicine on my leg and back before going to the basin of water. “I love how sweet you are to my children, especially Rhaenys.” Elia said softly.

“Stay on your stomach while it dries!” She ordered while she washed the ointment from her hands. She started blowing out candles before crawling back into bed.

“Then who Elia, talk to me!” I asked her getting up.

“You will think I am mad.” Elia mutters with that pouty lip of hers I wanted this to all be over to just pull her into my arms and kiss her lips till they bruised.

“I may act like it but I am not the only person around here allowed to be irrationally angry. “ I told her and she smiled a bit. I sat on the bed and reached out to her she took my hand and let me pull her to sit next to me. “Why don’t you tell me so we can be angry together?” I asked softly.

“I did not want Rhaenys to have Lyanna’s doll. I know it does not make since but I did not want to share Rhaenys-“ She began.

“With Lyanna?” I realized. “Is that what you think you did is _share_ Rhaegar? Rhaegar kidnapped my sister Elia!” I shouted I ripped my hand away from hers standing up I did not even want to be next to her.

She did not defend herself she did not say anything she did not even look sorry instead she just looked to the floorboards as if to feign obedience.

“He raped her Elia! Do you understand that? You know how bad he was to you he was worse to her do you get that!?!” I shouted getting a glare.

“Do not speak to me like I am stupid!” She told me with a slightly raised voice nothing compared to how loud I was being.

“I DO NOT THINK YOU ARE STUPID ELIA, THAT’S WHAT SCARES ME. I KNOW YOU ARE SMART ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND THIS SO IT LEAVES ME TO WONDER WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!” I told her I watched her eyes whatever defense she had she chose to not speak it. Which only angered me more. “Maybe you’re just a selfish girl who was spoiled as a child and hates the idea of sharing. “ That stung I could see it on her face but she only bit her lip determined to remain silent.

“Say something Elia!” I demanded.

“No.” She said as soft as a whisper she was looking down trying to cover her face she did not want me to see the tears I was causing. “I do not want to say something in anger that will hurt you. No matter how true it maybe.” She added softly. Even while I screamed at her Elia was sweet to me. I wanted to know badly her reason, but I could not push her after the last time she opened up to me I started screaming at her.

I could not watch her weep in silence.

“I am sorry for lashing out Elia.” I told her softly. “I should not have said those things.”

She shook her head. “No, its alright. I also do not know what is wrong with me.” She says wiping her eyes with a little angry laugh. “I do know I was spoiled, and I know how too. You see my mother was a great practical woman she did not want her children spoiled. Father had other ideas.”

“You were his only daughter, its understandable for a man to want his daughter to have everything. I wanted Rhaenys to have that doll and she isn’t even my daughter.” I told her this did not seem to soften her eyes at all.

“It wasn’t that I was his daughter. It was that my last two brothers died hours after they were born, and I was born a month early and they told my father I would die too but I did not. He always called me his miracle. He bought me a doll every time the cart would come to the palace. I saw that cart so much I knew which doll had been there the longest, a doll with short brittle hair and hair brighter red then Catelyn’s not as beautiful though, the merchant told my father he messed up the dye but the dolls skin came out darker than mine even its eyes were messed up, it was the ugliest thing I had ever seen and I asked my papa for it and he gave it to me.”

“Why?” I asked as angry as I was, I couldn’t help the chuckle imagining Elia this perfect little princess with this ugly little doll.

“Because in my young mind I thought it must feel so unloved watching all the little girls from the shadow city to the water gardens choosing other dolls. All it wanted was for some little girl to be its mommy.” She admits softly it was hard not to melt at her words. Elia Martell the girl who did not want the ugliest doll to feel unloved, the woman who cared about Ned’s bastard she was not a selfish person and I felt shame for saying so.

She smiled that glorious smile of happiness I saw so rarely, the smile I usually craved but it was not for me she was looking past me at her memories and her eyes still watered because they were so far away from her now.

“I loved that doll, I called her Nymeria and pretended she and my other dolls were all my babies. I wanted a gaggle of children. More than anything I wished and prayed and hopped for a loving husband who would adore me and because of my upbringing a doting father, a proud mother, brothers who thought the world of me, even my people loved me; I thought I deserved what I wanted I thought I deserved to be loved because I had been spoiled with love. Life has taught me otherwise.” She says softly.

“Elia that’s not true, you deserve to be loved in fact I lo-“ I began.

“Brandon please don’t.” Elia said softly.

“I am sorry Elia-“

“I don’t want to talk anymore Brandon and I do not want an apology either.” She admits softly. I felt bad I told her to talk to me and then attacked her when she said something I did not want to hear. I just did not understand why Elia would say something like that. Elia has always been a good person even when we have quarreled. “Give the doll to Rhaenys, I should not have said anything.” She tells me softly getting up.

“Stay here, I can go sleep elsewhere if you like.” I offered she shook her head.

“I am only going to the nursery. I wanted to make sure Aegon is alright.”

“If you go pick him up, he will cry every night until you do.” I reminded.

“I know, I am just going to listen from outside.”

“Elia why would you do that to yourself?”

“Because he should not have to suffer alone.” She said with a shrug.

“May I join you, so you don’t have to suffer alone?”

We sat against the hallway wall and listened to him wail. Catelyn came to get her baby at one point. Elia suggested taking Jon as well she kept a polite composure but did not heed the suggestion and did not see happy for it. Eddard came for his bastard boy.

“You cannot take that baby back to your rooms.” I warned knowing the pain it seemed to cause Catelyn.

“What ese should I do.” Ned said bitterly annoyed from the time of night or the screaming or mayphaps just me.

“Put him in a basket and take him to Benjen’s room he’s a good boy he will not mind.” Elia said as though it were obvious though the idea never dawned on ned or I.

“Thank you, lady Stark.” Ned said softly going off.

Elia cried silently in my arms while her baby cried. I held her tightly and kissed her head but there was nothing I could do to make her feel better. Finally, Aegon cried himself to sleep and I carried Elia back to bed as she was half asleep herself.

Luwin bothered me early in the morning with news from the wall. Lord Commander Qorgyle wrote me a letter about the problems in Moletown.

I went to see Warlys Luwin said it would not be much longer. I would sit by his bed side and he would sort of grumble more than anything. “I am so sorry Lord Stark.” He would tell me over and over again no matter how many times I told him he had nothing to be sorry for.

I realized as it got late, I had not seen Elia all day. I assumed to know where she was and went to the nursery. Rhaenys was there with her new doll in hand she smiled when she saw me lurking in the doorway. I told Myla to give it to her this morning. Nan was holding Robb and looked up at me.

“My Lord?”

“I thought lady Stark would be here?” I admitted.

“She was. She left she said she had a headache.” Nan said I nodded.

Aegon was toddling around looking for something, someone actually and I knew just who.

A maid added a log to the nursery fire and started screaming when she burned herself. Nan put Robb down going to attend this girl.

I felt a tightening in my chest but oddest of all was Aegon who was suddenly terrified and to my shock he ran to me he held my leg tightly. “Help help!” He cries. At first, I wondered why he would come to me. Then I realized I saved him from Kingslanding. I wondered if the blonde maid reminded him of someone when she screamed. He clung to me like I was a raft and he was adrift at sea. I picked him up.

He looked at me with those purple eyes, Rhaegars eyes. But they were scared and in pain. Something I understood.

“It’s alright.” I promised him. And he just laid his little head on my shoulder.

As I had known if I ever felt the longing to be a father I could do so with Rhaenys and Aegon I told Elia as much. Now I realized it was not a choice, they were not doll’s that could be stored away and taken out when I wanted them. That’s how their father treated them I would not. They were my responsibility to care for always.

“Nan will she be okay?” I asked.

“Fine.” Nan promised.

“As much as I trust your medical knowledge, take her to Luwin just in case.”

“I was going to put the children to bed. “ I looked to see Jon and Robb asleep in there cribs.

“I will take care of these two.” I promised offering Rhaenys my hand and she happily took it.

She asked about if her dolly could go with her on the pony and when she could ride it again. She was a sweet little child who I was fond of.

“We will have to see.” I told her leaning down to tuck her into her bed she kissed my cheek. “Goodnight Brandon I love you!” She told me happily. I smiled softly.

“Goodnight Rhaenys I love you too.” I promised.

“I know we were not supposed to give in, but I have found out I’m the weak one.” I told Elia as I entered our bedroom. She was laying in bed she looked pale.

“Hi baby.” She said softly as I put him in her arms, she kissed his head. He snuggled into her arms happily. She hummed something to him I had never heard before and soon he was asleep.

“This was sweet, but it will only make tomorrow night harder.” Elia said softly.

“I think Aegon should sleep in here with us at least for a while.” I told her she stared at me for a long time.

“I cannot seem to understand you as hard as I might try.” She admits as her hand brushes through her child’s hair.

“Being in Kingslanding was torture for me, and for you. I can only imagine what it was like for him. So, if I make him feel safe and you make him feel loved he can sleep in our bed as long as he wants.” I told her she smiled at me.

“Your sweet.”

“Don’t say that. Rhaenys is still my favorite.” I teased she gave me a light glare, but she kept smiling.

“I cannot believe you did not invite your partner in crime.” Elia teased.

“I did, I thought it was only fair. She said she wanted to stay in her bed.”

“Rhaenys has always been independent.” Elia laughed. “She’s going to be a tough girl.”

“Like her mommy.” I mused as I kicked off my boots before getting in bed.

“Goodnight.” I told her kissing her.

She smiled her hand touched my cheek tenderly. “You’re a good man.”

“I am trying to be, I struggle with it.”

“Trying is better then most do.” She promised I watched eyes slowly bat her eye lips heavy as she looked up at me.

“Elia do you know what I was going to tell you last night?” I asked I was going to tell her I love her.

“I do.” She promised. “I don’t want you to say it. Those three words have to much power together. I am happy with what we have even if I have yet to figure you out.” She admits softly with a little yawn. She leaned over and kissed my cheek. “Please don’t change it.” She murmured softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to show how keeping some secrets would effect their relationship. I am also going to try to bring Rhaenys and Aegon into the story more. Thanks for reading let me know what you think.


	13. Safe

Chapter 13: Safe

Brandon had left from bed early it had been a habit recently. As always, he kissed me before he left a habit I liked more. I found Benjen in the hall he agreed to join the children and I for breakfast before his training. He put Rhaenys up on his shoulders. He was getting taller every day, I always enjoyed Benjen’s company and we were laughing when we entered the hall to see Catelyn and Eddard already there. They had been fighting when we entered and were now sitting in silence.

“Good morning.” I said politely.

“Good morning lady stark.” Catelyn said with polite charm, but I could see the misery in her eyes.

“Benny I can count really high do you want to see!” Rhaenys asked Benjen from her place next to him he smiled that happy smile of his.

“I would love too!”

“One two three four four five-“ Rhaenys sang to him. He was so good to her. Catelyn and I politely chattered. Benjen could draw a few words out of Ned when he was not playing with Rhaenys or talking to me.

Around the end of breakfast Brandon walked in with his usual showman ship.

“Ned, I need you to go to Torrhens square, Lord Talhart has something for me I Ned you to go get.” Brandon said.

“Fine.” Ned says simply happy to follow his brothers orders I noticed Benjen annoyance. I told Brandon if he wanted to keep Benjen he needed to give him more to do.

“I need you to change into something you can ride in.” He told me to my utter shock and then he smirked looking to Benjen.

“We will be gone for most of the day.” He said taking off the silver Direwolf on a chain and handing it to Benjen. “That means for today you will be Lord Stark.”

“Why?”

“What happens if Ned and I die?” Brandon asked.

“Robb becomes Lord of Winterfell.” Catelyn says quickly.

“Yes, and Robb is a baby so who will have to be regent until he comes of age? “ Brandon said to assure Catelyn he had not meant anything against her son.

“Me” Benjen realized with a alarmed look.

“Exactly how are you going to guide him if you don’t ever lead.” Brandon said with a shrug. “This is only the beginning Ben.” Brandon promised and his brother finally smiled.

“I will not let you down!” Ben assured.

“I love what you are doing for Benjen but do I have to go ridding?” I pouted as I lead him back to our rooms.

“Because I like you.” He teased.

“I am not a good rider.” I told him simply.

“I thought you said Dornish sand steads were the best horses in the world?” He jeered.

“They are. That does not mean I ride them often. My health never allowed me to travel much. And I do not feel safe riding.”

“You haven’t been feeling well stuck in this castle, mayphaps some fresh air will do you good? Besides I will keep you very safe.”

He was right I hadn’t been feeling well.

“Alright.” I agreed he sat in his chair while I undressed and put on a ridding dress that never really got warn I noticed the way he stared at me. No one ever looked at me the way Brandon Stark did; with this desire in his beautiful grey eyes. I had no idea how I came to deserve such a wonderful look from such a handsome man.

I pulled my hair back so it would stay out of my face before we left.

As we rode through the woods, I found myself enjoying it more then I thought I would. It was nice to see the open skies and rolling hills. There was a slight chill to the air, but we dressed warmly. I liked resting my head against his back. Careful to stay on his good side not to agitate his wound, he said it didn’t irritate him as much, but I wanted to be careful, I would hate to cause Brandon any pain. Mayphaps that is why I could not tell him the truth about Lyanna. I could not stay mad at Brandon for being upset about the silly doll. Neither of us brought up the incident again. I had to remind myself every time I saw the doll that it was not about Lyanna it was a sweet gift Brandon gave to Rhaenys to think of it like that.

My arms tightened around him as I thought about such unpleasant things. It was my automatic reaction to pull him close to me when I was scared. It was Aegon’s too as I found. Rhaenys did not need to be scared she adored Brandon. Brandon seemed to notice my grasp on him, his hand gently rubbed over mine very soothingly. It was not hard to adore him.

It was wonderful to see him ridding he was truly in his element out here.

“Are you too cold?” He asked worried all his flaws and still Brandon Stark was a very attentive husband. He already gave me the cloak of his I liked.

“No, I just like cuddling you.” I teased letting my hands wander across his torso feeling the hard muscles under his clothes.

“Good, you know I was always told Cregan Stark planted these apple trees I loved hearing of his war stories, but as a little boy I actually imagined him actually planting each of these trees.” Brandon said making me laugh I wondered how far we were from Winterfell now, not caring as much as I should.

“I am surprised they survived so many winters.”

“They die in the fall, but they always come back. You should see the glass garden’s at Winterfell they can yield throughout wintertime.” He tells me. He pulls my hands off him to my dismay. He gets down from his horse with ease. He keeps hold of the reigns and pulls them stopping Blizzard before helping me down.

“What are we doing out here Brandon?” I asked softly he smiles taking my hand with his free one the other holding onto his reigns.

“I wanted you to see this place.”

“It is beautiful.” I admit it reminded me a little of the orange groves and lemon trees of my youth. Brandon’s hand left mine going to my cheek getting my attention.

“I am not supposed to let you leave Winterfell, or write your brothers, I suppose I wasn’t to get Aegon and bring him here, and I know I wasn’t supposed to love you Elia but I do.”

“I told you not to say it.” I reminded him sternly I did not want everything to be ruined I once thought I was in love and had been desperately wrong. Now I no longer even believed in that word when it did not describe how I felt about my children.

“I am not very good with rules, obviously.” He teased he kissed me though I pouted at my warning being ignored. “You don’t have to say it back.” He promises soothingly. It was more comforting then I wanted it to be. His lips kiss my nose making me scrunch it up and him chuckle before he continued kissing my forehead and then my hair. “Don’t be angry with me Elia, I do not expect it in return but I needed you to know you are loved here by me.” He tells me his eyes are like storm clouds.

“I do not know what love is anymore Brandon.” I say softly. “But you do make me feel safe.”

“That’s more then enough Elia.” He promises. “We can head back now.”

“Very well as long as after you have spoken with Ben you find time to give your wife some attention. “ I told him getting up on my tippy toes kissing his cheek. He starred at me with astonishment while I tried not to blush from my words.

“I love you.”

“You have said, are you going to keep doing that?” I asked with a giggle.

“Till you believe me, and then long after.” He promises he picks me up putting me on the front of the saddle this time getting on behind me giving me a new way to cuddle him as we head back which we are in no hurry to do. I could not remember the last time I felt so free and at peace then ridding with him.

We were Almost out of the orchard, we had sight of the accompanying guards Brandon had told to stay here. He did not feel the need to be watched and was annoyed at Luwin’s insistence to take them.

As we rode up they were talking with a boy around Benjen’s age with three younger children in his care the youngest was between Aegon and Rhaenys in age a sweet little girl holding her brothers hand and the other two were young boys.

“What is going on?” Brandon asked with authority he had a natural gift for leading.

“These children are going to Wintertown.” The guard explained. “He was telling us of a fire that has ravaged his village.”

“Is this true?”

“Yes our parents died, we would have been off to the watch but the don’t take girls and I couldn’t leave Hana to starve.”

“What will you do in Wintertown?”

“My aunt lives there, I never met her but I hope she will take us in, My brothers and I were taught to ice fish by my father, I thought I could give the white knife a try.” The boy says with a shrug.

“I know a fisher called Owen from Wintertown. His sons have died in war and he has need of help, hes a good man his wife and he would keep you if you helped him.”

The boys eyes lite up with hope. “Thank you good man were can I find him?”

“These men will give you and your siblings a ride to his door.” Brandon promised to the annoyance of his guards but they began lifting the children up.

“Can you get her to stop crying?” The first guard asks the boy.

“She’s just hungry.” The boy explained I used Brandon’s shoulder to steady myself as I leaned picking apples of the tree handing them to Brandon who tossed them to the boy who was confused.

“You can’t do that those are Lord Starks trees!” The boy said offended for a man he did not even know. I thought the Dornish were loyal to house Martell. The guards rolled their eyes at the boy not putting it together but Brandon said nothing.

“He wont miss them.” I promised settling back down.

“Lord Stark has a soft spot for her.” Brandon teased. “One more thing boy? Where was the fire, whose your lord?"

“His great lordship Lord Bolton, we lived along the weeping Water.” He explains but he does so with his head bent in a nervous voice, I did not know who Lord Bolton was but this boy had no love for him.

“Thank you.” Brandon says he seem more tense to my touch as we watch them ride away.

“Lord Bolton never told me of a fire.” He says suspiciously.

After our ride I decided to bath to get the horse smell off me. I contemplated why I could not tell Brandon I loved him. Didn’t he deserve that? He said he did not need it, but he deserved to have a loving wife. I wondered if it was because I did not trust him with the truth. If my secrets left would my hesitation? But the secrets could ruin us. My brother wanted justice for me and the truth about his sister was a plague forever on my mind. He loved her she was this youthful joyful wild sister of his and I did not want to take that from him but that was not the girl I knew.

I closed my eyes and held my breath submerging under the water while I thought of Harrenhall.

_I Stood in the abandoned tent it belonged to house Ladybright, my Dornish bannermen needed no explanation for why I had need of there tent and could not tell them why. They immediately began moving out of it after giving me their deepest sympathies. After what my husband did to me yesterday. I put my hand to my enlarged stomach I could not think of that now._

_I leaned against the cloth of the tent knowing how solid the man was on the other side and that he would not mind supporting my weight for a moment while I rested. Sir Arthur would carry me for hours if I asked pregnant or not._

_“I don’t understand what we are doing?” He admits from the other side._

_“That poor girl is probably terrified I mean her a great deal of harm after what happened. To often women blame other woman when the fault lies to a man. She did not choose for him to lay those flowers on her lap. She must know I mean her know harm.” I explained._

_“You’re a good person princess, I cannot express how sorry I am for not knocking Rhaegar into the ground like the foolish little boy he is.” Arthur quietly growled his oath meant he had to obey but he did not have to like it and we were old friends._

_“He was getting annoyed at you for beating him, you had to fall down.” I told him simply._

_“I should have gone with Ashara to go get the girl.” Arthur whispers._

_“Lewyn is with her.” I promised and besides Lewyn would not object as her brother would if Ashara should stop and see another Stark first while she was near the northern tents as she asked me, and I more than happily allowed._

_Soon Ashara came through with the girl’s wrist in hand. Lewyn stayed outside the tent at the entry way to keep us from being interrupted._

_I pushed off Arthur a bit to get back to my feet._

_“Lady Lyanna, thank you for agreeing to meet with me.”_

_“I hadn’t a choice!” She snapped I assumed it was out of fear and overlooked it._

_“I_ apologize _for the urgency, but I wanted to tell you myself that I know what has happened is not your fault and I bare you no ill will. No one can control what Rhaegar will or will not do I am not sure why he did this and I am truly sorry if it has caused a riff between you and your betrothed..” I said softly. I was willing to talk to Robert if necessary and I already discussed with Arthur should the girl fear for her safety he would have a discussion with her betrothed about being courtesy to ladies even if it had to be beaten in._

_She stepped forward with a smile and took my hands in hers. I was so happy I thought to make sure she was alright no doubt was she a sweet girl I had thought._

_“Allow me to explain then. Rhaegar found out I was the mystery knight and came to thank me for my bravery and kindness.” She said proudly._

_“I see.” I said deciding it was nice in a way Rhaegar wanted to reward this young woman’s bravery and supposed if the only price was my pride then so be it at least it was not meant to shun me._

_. “I told him his song at the opening was very beautiful, he told me I was very beautiful.” She laughs boldly continuing on. “I had no idea a man could remove his clothes so quickly.”_

_I moved my hands back. “You slept with my husband!” I asked I never thought of myself as a emotional wife but the betrayal stung when I was so pregnant with his child suffering out in the heat at his request of me being here._

_“You little whore!” Ashara gasps as I tried to gain my composure._

_“It’s fine Ashara, Rhaegar is allowed to do as he pleases.” He would not be the first man to have an affair.” I would appreciate your discrepancy while you are his mistress.” I said simply moving to leave._

_“I am not going to be his mistress. “Lyanna declares making me turn back to her. “You see he told me he fears you will just give him another brown child, another girl or one weak as you. He needs a wife worthy of him, not a weak dornish bi-“ she began until she was spun around by my uncle Lewyn._

_“Nobody talks to my niece like that!” He hisses. Arthur entered as well to make sure the situation did not get out of hand._

_“Leave her, I will not have Rhaegar angry at you uncle.” I told him simply and he let her go stepping aside._

_“Fine, Arthur you hit her Rhaegar loves you more then his harp.” Ashara said in raged on my behalf maybe it was the pregnancy, but I did not have a firey rage I just wanted to fall down crying I wanted to ask Rhaegar how I ever wronged him? How I had always tried to be a good wife to him, how tired and aching I was pregnant with his child while he could be screwing some young girl, it was depraved._

_Arthur ever the good soldier waited only saying. “Orders princess?”_

_I shook my head. “Go now!” I told her she did so, and I cried in Ashara’s arms._

I was pulled up by my arm ripping me from my thoughts and startling me to find Brandon looking worried.

“Are you alright what the hells the matter with you I thought-are you alright?” Brandon barked but only because he was scared though his words were harsh, he pulled me close to him wrapping his arms around me getting his close all wet without any care.

“I am fine just thinking.”

“Could you find a less terrifying way to think?” He asked with a light chuckle, but his hands still combed through my wet hair soothingly.

“Sorry to scare you.” I told him softly.

“I was coming to find you because you said-“

“Yes I know.” Told him a devious smile appeared on my face. “Would you join me?” I asked just a little nervously not sure how to take it if he should refuse but Brandon’s wild smile made me feel at ease. He immediately began to undress.

The water rose as He entered we fumbled and laughed as we found the best way to fit together but finally I found sitting on his thigh was the perfect place from which to kiss his neck, I found bathing always to be relaxing but having Brandon here made it so much better. We did not stay like that for long, I was able to get on top of him his hands stalled my hips before I could move onto him, I looked at him confused. “Are you ok? You looked as though you saw a ghost when I pulled you head out of the water.”

I decided to tell him the truth.

“I was thinking about someone who hurt me, but I well am now that you are here.” I said it was half the truth, touching his face looking at those grey eyes it was hard to really fathom he was related to Lyanna. He tilted my chin up kissing me before to my surprise he lifts and turns me away from him, I grasp the edges of the tub with my hands before looking back at him his eyes were darkened with lust.

“Is this alright?” He asks and I can only nod in answer as he moves my hips down against him. It fills odd in the water theres even a slight discomfort about how full I feel at first.

Brandon seems to notice. He moves his hand from my hip to my folds relaxing me there I begin moving against him at comfortable pace he lets me control. He rubs at the most sensitive spot between my folds as his other hand tangles in my hair. He growls into my ear and his hand becomes a little rougher against that wonderful little button that contains my pleasure and I make a whinny noise. 

His hand leaves my hair to message my breast as I rock at my slow set pace against him. I lean back against his shoulder he kisses at my head. “That’s it darling.” He moans my movements get more erratic but I find my peak with a loud moan, I am only vaguely aware that Brandon is still inside of me and is moving me back to lay my head against the other side of the tub while moving on top of me.

He thrusts watching me carefully as I shudder still reeling from my last climax.

“I think your properly wet now wife.” He muses happily now his thrusts are all pleasure now we kiss and make pleasured noises into each other’s mouths before we came both began getting close to the edge he picked up his pace as my arms clung to him keeping him close.

“Elia, gods Elia!” Brandon shouted loudly getting my attention his grey eyes watched mine as my head started leaning back I found his hand on the back of my neck. Keeping our eyes locked as I felt that sensation in my stomach. “I love you Elia.” He gasped out. My eyes shut as I struggled to catch my breath there was something about coming together that was even better he let us ride out our orgasms but he dropped some of his weight on me as if he too was struggling to regain himself after that.

“I am sorry.” He said moving off me.

“Please don’t be.” I told him giggling when I got up seeing the mess we made. We toweled off and Brandon worked on the mess.

“That was more difficult then I imagined.” I admitted as I began to get dressed. 

“Together we can figure out any challenge.” He teased as he also began redressing. I was trying to tie my dress from behind when I felt his hands and let him take over.

“Thank you.” I said softly he only kissed my shoulder in response.

“Are you angry with me, that I don’t say it back.” I asked finally turning to look at him.

“No, but with your permission I would like to keep saying it. I will prove it to you one day.” He promises.

I fix the ties to his shirt and try to straighten him out best I can. He picks up the letter I was writing to my brother.

“I’m going to Luwin next if you would like me to send this.” He says simply.

“You did not even read it?” I asked not sure why I was doing this why I was helping myself get caught.

“I don’t read your letters anymore Elia.” He says with a shrug.

“There’s a message hidden in it.” I admitted I wanted to be honest with him when he was so honest to me and seemed so liberated by this honesty, since he told me he loved me he was changed, happier even though I never said it back. “My brother wrote me a secret message that worries me and I had to let him know we are safe so he does not do something he should not. But I felt terrible lying to you.” I admit looking down.

He stairs at the paper. “What does it say.”

“His said JUSTICE for Elia Martell.”

“I asked what yours says.” He reminds.

“SAFE in the north. See how it’s the first letters and the last sentence.” I explained.

“Clever.” He admits before tucking it into his coat. “I will send it immediately.”

“Your not angry?” I asked.

“No, you were just trying to protect everyone you love, I appreciate you trusting me.” He promises he kisses me briefly before leaving. Even after he left, I stood there thinking about him.

Each day to come was warmer than the last. A peace seemed to fall over Winterfell. Like everything was as it should be. I thought it would be ruined by the first signs of my moon blood coming. When I asked Brandon how we were supposed to share a bed during such events he only let his alarm show for a moment before saying. “We will figure that out together.”

I was much more skeptical until I woke up in the morning. I smiled the moment my fluttering eyes saw Brandon my large husband with my tiny little son on his chest both of them half asleep. Aegon made a little grumbling noise and Brandon gently patted his head.

“Yeah well I like her better too, but mommy doesn’t feel well so you have to contend with me.” Brandon mutters. I had been struggling to sleep with Aegon wiggling last night I wondered when Brandon moved Aegon out of my arms and into his. Not many people could take Aegon out of my arms without me panicking but it was different with Brandon. I trusted him.

Aegon just laid his head back against Brandon who smiled at Aegon. Rhaegar never looked at Aegon the way Brandon was, with this pride. The way my father would look at one of my brothers before saying ‘that’s my son!’ 

Brandon looked over at me with a comfortable smile. “Hey.” He said softly. “Are you feeling alright?”

I moved closer to him nodding. My head laid on his shoulder his arm wrapped around me.

“Mommy!” Aegon said happily his little hand reach out to me. I took his hand in mine kissing it. Even Luwin and Nan now agreed Aegon was getting better little by little. At first, they thought nothing was happening, but I knew it was helping because I knew him best and Brandon was sure if I was sure.

Brandon put Aegon in my arms telling me softly. “Go back to sleep.” He told me as he got up and began getting up for the day.

My eyes closed for what seemed like a moment but when I opened them again Brandon had his boots and outer clothes on and was leaving.

“Lord Stark, I hope you are not starting your day without kissing your wife.” I told him it was out of my mouth before I could help it and he smiled that wild smile of his as he came back over to the bed.

“Of course, not Lady Stark.” He said before kissing me.

“Stark!” Aegon whined as he was starting to wake and realize the big warm person was leaving.

“Do you want kissed to?” Brandon chuckled patting his hair. His grey eyes looked back over me. “I love you Lia.” He murmured before kissing me again. He always just said it as though it were his truth never waiting or silently asking for anything in return. He left to start his day and we had to arise soon after.

I decided to take the children to see the glass gardens. When I told Benjen he insisted on showing us around. He even helped but Rhaenys cloak on while I got Aegon ready.

“What is that!” Rhaenys asked pointing to the direwolf on his black tunic. I noted he was wearing black again, it seemed to be a pattern.

“It’s a direwolf, the sigil of my house they go ow ow owww! at the moon, can you do that?” He asked happily.

“Owowowo” Rhaenys cried.

“Very good howling.” He assured her.

“If you don’t take the black you would make a good father someday.” I mused.

“Don’t you start now.” Benjen teased.

“Just an observation.” I said I looked over at Jon with his wide eyes he reached for me winning to be held. “Aegon hold onto Benjen.” I told him going over to Jon and picking him up.

“Ned-“ Benjen started.

“Is gone and Jon deserves to be out of this room and get some fresh air and cuddles.” I said simply he cooed loudly the moment he was in my arms and Benjen could not argue with that.

Rhaenys was trying to teach Aegon how to race and they were rushing ahead.

Benjen had to show off that he was a gentleman by offering me has arm as we walked.

“You to are cute together.” Brandon jeered when he met us in the hallway.

“Your just jealous because you have to do boring lord stuff and I get to spend time with Elia.” Benjen said who had not been enthused by the running of Winterfell.

“That’s exactly why I am jealous.” Brandon agreed.

“We are going to the glass gardens can you come?” I asked I felt this odd longing to be with him.

“No but I want to work on Rhaenys ridding before dinner.” Brandon said happily.

“Fine but be careful.” I said I could not protest to much Rhaenys loved it.

“I will.” He said kissing my cheek before walking past us. “Do me a favor and don’t fall in love with Benny.” Brandon teased as he walked away getting a glare from Benjen.

“He’s only teasing.” I promised.

“I’m actually glad he’s teasing again I prefer it to when he was always angry, even though he is still annoying either way.” Benjen told me making me smile.

“We were talking about you.” I reminded.

“No, you were going to tell me you agree with Brandon about me not going to the watch because you’re a good wife.” Benjen said though it was simply.

“I would like to be a good wife, but I don’t think that means I have to agree with your brother. You can ask your brother, I do not. He and I have different reasons we don’t want you to go.”

“Really? What are they?” He asked as the children ran around us.

“Slow down Rhae!” Aegon huffed he was talking more.

“Well I think you should ask Brandon why he feels the way he does.”

“I know he just thinks I am a baby.” Benjen sighed.

“You will always be his baby brother and he loves you, he hates the idea of you somewhere far away where he can’t help you.”

“He feels like he failed Lyanna doesn’t he?” Benjen said softly.

“I don’t know, I know he would rather die then fail you Benjen.” I told him trying to ignore thoughts of Lyanna.

“Because he thinks I need him.” Benjen said not quite willing to let Brandon off the hook.

“I think that shows he needs you.” I said watching to make sure the children did not get to far ahead of us.

“You’re the one that made him happy again.”

I looked to Rhaenys as I told him. “When he had nothing, he had you Benjen.”

“Why do you want me to stay,” He asked.

“Much more selfish reasons I am afraid; I would miss you if you were gone.” I told him and he smiled.

“Would not your going to have Brandon’s babies and forget all about me.” He teased. I could not tell him how impossible that would be instead I tried to not focus on the pain and continue.

“I would, when Brandon and I could hardly stand each other you were truly kind to me. I think of you as the first friend I made. Besides your my children’s uncle and I don’t much care for the watch.” I admit.

“The watch guards the realms of men!” He said Rhaenys and Aegon waited for us so Benjen could lead the way.

“I know it has a purpose I just did not have a very good run in with nights watch members before they took their oath.” I admitted as we continued.

“Really?”

“Have you heard of the Kingswood brotherhood?”

“No?” He said excitedly he seemed like the type who loved an adventure story.

“Outlaws in the kingswood who were coming a sort of legends to the people, Aerys did not care about his people, he let the brotherhood steal from rich and poor alike without a care. While headed back to the Capital they attacked my party.

“But you were….”

“The crown princes wife either they did not care or were trying to send a message that they were strong, either way they were not the brave outlaws they claimed to be they attacked a party of woman with one kingsguard and four other guards they murdered in cold blood, they took a young girl and her septa hostage another septa was killed when she was thrown from there horse.”

“What did they want.” Benjen asked horrified.

“Our jewels and coin purse mostly, unfortunately one of them wanted to steal a kiss from a princess.” I admitted he looked alarm and to my surprise his hand clinched into a fist without him realizing it.

“But he did not?” Benjen asked concerned.

“I am fine Benjen, I hardly remember that horrible man in truth he smacked my head against the carriage door before kissing me and taking my chest of coin. Not quite the heroic tale I’m sure he tells at the wall.” I said with a shrug much worse things have happened since then.

“He lived!” Benjen asked angry. “Why did they not kill him! He hurt you he stole from you he was a bad man!”

“He decided to take the black and that was that. Most southerners who take the black do it to avoid execution.” I told him.

He was silent for a while I was about to act if he was alright when we arrived at the glass gardens and were let in by the guards.

“Whoa!” Rhaenys cried looking at all the crops, Aegon was more interested in the glass above us toddling slowly to stare at it. I held Jon up so he could see. He did not fuss at all I think he was happy to be out of that nursery.

It was a moist kind of heat, but it was warm and the warmth alone made me smile before looking around at all the fruits and flowers that otherwise would not grow well in the north. Like me I mused I too was not supposed to do well in the north but happened to find the right environment.

“It’s magnificent.” I admitted.

“I love Winterfell.” Benjen says finally making me turn to look at him as we walked. “I think the job is important, I think we need more castles running and better training for the recruits but I don’t want to be sworn brothers with men like that.” Benjen admits.

“Of course, you’re a man of principle, but you must ask yourself if you can do more as a recruit or as a Stark.” I said.

“I am just a Stark, not lord Stark.” He reminds.

“A wolf of any kind is fierce.” I promised and he smiled.

“I am very lucky you are my good sister Elia.” Benjen said something very sincere in the blue of his eyes.

“I am very lucky to be your good sister.” I promised.

“Benny! Benny!” Rhaenys called happily.

“I am coming.” He promised going over to the plants she was looking at down and answered every what’s that she had.

“Baby!” Aegon said pointing to Jon. I bent down so he could see him better.

“This is Jon.” I told Aegon. “We have to be gentle with Jon because Jon is so little.” I explained.

Aegon reached up and touched Jon’s check making Jon make a happy squeaking noise.

Aegon stumbled back at the noise.

Jon reached for Aegon and Aegon smiled seeing it was okay he came back close. “Hi Jon!” Aegon said happily. It was so cute how happy they both were seeing another baby. I wondered if Aegon had never really noticed Jon in the nursery or if he had been too upset to notice.

I realized in that moment this was more then contentment we were genuinely happy here all of us.

“Lady Stark, why do you have my son.” A familiar angry voice called from behind. I took the moment to control the shock and worry I felt to remain looking calm before standing up and turning to him.

“I am happy to see you returned safely Lord Eddard.” I told him sweetly he looked as though he was not in the mood to be trifled with. I had to wonder how far Crewyn castle was since he arrived so quickly.

“I asked you a question.” He said straight forward he was not going to beat around the bush. It reminded me of every time I spoke to Aerys at the end it was like being on trial.

“I am sorry for taking him without-“ I began as I saw on his face how angry the quiet wolf was.

“You have no right to take him from his nursery!” Ned said raising his voice which had Aegon crying and Benjen come running over.

“You can not yell at Elia she’s our good sister, she’s lady stark and she’s a nice person!” Benjen said angry on my behalf.

“Thank you Benjen But I am alright.” I promised.

Ned pulled Jon out of my arms he had already been whining and now he too was crying. I picked up Aegon his pale face was bright red as he screeched. Even Rhaenys my brave girl was scared and hid behind me pulling on my dress.

“She just wanted Jon to be out of the nursery, he’s always stuck in there. Catlyen never takes care of him she was helping you-“ Benjen began.

“Go on to your lessons, now!” Ned ordered.

Benjen looked at me though he was so young it was like he could see through my façade and knew how terrified I was. I did not really know Ned yet and because of my experience with threatening men in Kingslanding I was afraid of him in that moment. He looked back at his brother stood tall and planted his feet. “No, you’re scaring them.”

“I am not in the mood to play games Benjen.” Ned said.

“I am not playing.” Benjen assured calmly but firmly.

“I need to talk to her, why Don’t you go play with the children?”

“Anything you need to say to _Lady Stark_ I should be able to hear.”

Ned seemed to get it suddenly and he was a little calmer. “I would never hurt her Benjen but it seems we need to straighten things out.”

“I know that Ned but they don’t and it did not help you coming in here yelling and stomping like an angry bull.” Benjen said.

The door slammed shut making us all look to Brandon.

“You did that? You came here and started yelling at my family?” Brandon asked as he quickly made his way to us.

Ned Quickly handed Jon to Benjen before Brandon grabbed him by his tunic.

“I was wrong Brandon I should not have taken Jon without asking.” I said quickly trying to stop a fight.

Ned did not flinch under Brandon’s impressive rage if anything he was forcing himself not to try and push Brandon off of him for respect for the lord of Winterfell.

“He should not have yelled at you ever.” Brandon spat.

“You came for me a-gain.” Aegon said gaining Brandon’s attention he was whipping his own tears watching Brandon as though he was his hero. His breathing was still arratic but he was trying to calm down. Rhaenys peaked out from behind me and smiled seeing Brandon.

“That’s right Aegon, I will always protect you, and Rhaenys, and mommy.” Aegon said before turning back to Ned only his eyes conveyed his anger. “Go to my solar wait for me there!” Brandon ordered letting Ned go.

Ned grabbed Jon and left.

“It’s alright.” Brandon said in the most soft and loving voice I was not who he was comforting. Aegon reached for him and Brandon took him.

“OW OW OWWW!” Rhaenys cried coming out like nothing had ever been wrong. “That’s how wolves talk.” She told Brandon making him smile.

“That’s amazing Rhaenys.” Brandon told her with a happy smile.

“Benjen taught me. “ Rhaenys said happily Brandon looked over at his little brother.

“Hey you’re the one that taught her what happens when two alpha wolves cross paths.” Benjen said trying to joke but he was relieved they did not actually fight.

“I am sorry for treating you like a boy Ben, you’re not, and for what it’s worth you’re a great man.” Brandon said.

Benjen was beaming I did not know how long he waited to hear that from Brandon, but it finally came to fruition he had to force himself not to hug Brandon I was sure.

Brandon’s grey eyes looked me over. “Elia are you alright?” He asked softly.

“I am fine it was nothing.” I told him.

“Elia.” He said softly again with disbelief and just like that it seemed my armor no longer worked on Brandon. He could see through me.

“Come on Rhaenys lets keep looking around.” Benjen said taking Aegon from Brandon and taking Rhaenys hand. Rhaenys would follow Benjen anywhere Aegon looked back at me with big eyes unsure until Benjen started bouncing him.

Finally, with the children gone I allowed myself to waver going to him the tear fell from my eyes I practically fell into his arms.

“He’s an idiot but he would never hurt you or the children. You must know that if for a second, I thought he would I would send him to the wall. I need you to know that Elia. I need you to trust me.” He said softly.

“I do. I just wasn’t expecting it and I haven’t felt that small since Aerys would yell at me.” I admitted Brandon and I have fought before but for some reason I could always fight back with Brandon I never felt vulnerable, maybe because he does not yell in front of the children. Holding them against me made me feel like I had to protect them like I was still in Kingslanding.

“I didn’t thank Benjen he was very good to me.” I said softly going to go that way, but Brandon did not let me go.

“Let him make the children happy for now.” He said taking my hand and I followed him out. Brandon’s presence was comforting, and I did not want him to leave, I did not want him to go yell at Ned and make him hate me more either.

“Send word to Ned that you forgive him and stay with me for just a little while?” I asked he was taking me to our rooms I could tell.

“No, I have to speak with him. It’s time for Ned to go, Benjen is right we are both trying to be the alpha wolf, and as thankful as I am for how Ned handle the war there can only be one Lord Stark at a time.” He told me as we arrived at our chambers. He was angry his brother did not follow his lead better like I imagined he used to.

I wanted nothing more then to cool his hot blood or mayphaps point the fire in another direction.

“You could show me who the Alpha wolf is if you like?” I asked.

“I thought you were having your moon blood?”

“It has not started yet, and if it does…..are you afraid of blood?”

He smiled. “Not at all.” He promised.

“Then forget this and forgive your brother.” I told him taking him by the hand to come with me.

He pushed me against the door instead and kissed me hard. “After. What kind of husband would I be to let my brother disrespect my wife?” Brandon said with a shrug.

“Kiss me again.” I asked and he did just like the last his lips roughly crashed on mine before he stuck his tongue into my mouth dominating my tongue. His kiss left me heady all I wanted was to get him into my bed, but he quickly moved away as if he had to before he forgot Ned was waiting for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very long chapter but I had to get it all in. I am very excited for the next chapter!!!! 
> 
> Benjen is in this chapter alot but I just love him. 
> 
> I wanted Brandon to express how he felt but I think it would be really hard for Elia to love (Or at least admit shes in love.) After all that's happened.   
> Please let me know what you think and thanks for reading!


	14. Joy

Chapter 14: Joy

Ned’s already in the corner of my Solar brooding when I arrive.

“Do you feel like a strong man yelling at a woman for caring about a baby?” I asked going immediately to pour a glass of ale, drinking would have to happen to get through this. I poured two glasses before going to my chair.

“You don’t understand your not a father.” Ned grumbles solemnly. He just stated it as fact. He did not even know it was a blow, how would he? How would he know of my secret desire to have children with Elia, I did not even want Elia to know that?

“Well then enlighten me, since your such an expert even though you haven’t been a father a full year to either of your sons.” I told him pushing a glass over to him. He was closer to the desk but he made no move for the goblet.

“Jon could have been hurt.” He says with crossed arms. I knew my brother well sometimes I doubted this, but it was true. Ned did not say things to hurt people. He said them because they were right or more accurately, he thought them right.

“You truly think Elia would hurt your son?” I asked he was silent and looked toward the window. No of course she would not hurt Jon, Elia did not have a bad bone in her body, and he knew it.

I raised my glass realizing he was not going to say it. “Or mayhaps you’re more worried she will realize his parentage.” I said before drinking and watching my brother turn to me with wide eyes his mouth opened and closed again in epic shock. That was outlandishly surprised as Ned would ever be. He came forward to me.

“She did then?” He asks panic on his face.

“Recognize Jon as Rhaegar’s son? No of course not, I’ve watched her with the baby. Elia doesn’t expect a thing she just likes children. He doesn’t look like Rhaegar anyways. He has Lyanna’s eyes and her dark hair. “ I said before drinking again. “She was my sister too Ned.” I reminded why he thought Elia would recognize something sort of Targaryen in him before I noticed my own sister in that child? No after Elia’s doll story it all made since, she had a great love for children and we could not have them.

“How long have you known?” Ned asked finally.

“I’ve known something was off since I first saw him, isn’t like you to have a bastard even if you were at war. At first, I thought it was Ashara’s, you loved her she could have made you make an exception.” I admitted watching Ned’s face fade at the mention of his beloved lady Lyanna. I would always remember how my brother watched her at that dance. When I told him to go ask her to dance he shook his head solomly. _She’s to good for me._ He had assured, I disagreed so I asked for him to his embarrassment Ned was so angry until I told him she confessed to me she had been waiting for him to ask her for some time now. Then I was his hero one last time.

“But you wouldn’t have taken her baby from her. “ I said this I was sure of. “The first time I really looked at Jon I knew.” I admitted bring my brother out of his painful memories of the lady with purple eyes.

“Then why did you not say anything.” Ned asked pounding his hands against the desk I stood up. He couldn’t understand why I tortured him so.

“Because I was waiting for my brother to tell me. Why did you not trust me Ned?” I asked I kept waiting holding out hope that he would say something. The truth was finally out between us.

“It is my secret to bare not yours.” Ned said looking over at me trying to silently judge how angry I was like when we were boys and he broke my favorite wooden statue.

“You should have told me the second you arrived with him Jon. I would have handled things better.” I told him.

“I never wanted to lead Brandon, I had to. I am sorry that angers you!” Ned said talking about the rebellion I wondered how long he had been holding onto that. Wanted to or not he had a taste for it now, like it or not he was no longer used to taking orders he was ready to give them. He prove himself capable in war, but Winterfell can only have one master, he would have to wait till I was dead.

“I am glad you lead house Stark through the war Ned, I am not jealous of your accomplishments. But not everything is as black and white as war and that’s where you struggle you muddled this up, and you know it!” I told him.

“What should I have done finding out Lyanna had a half Targaryen baby?” Ned whispers across the desk.

“You should have said it was my bastard obviously, not only is it more believable but then you and Catlyen might not be so miserable.” I told him he looked up at me we had been at odds for so long he seemed to forget I cared about his happiness.

Catelyn lost Winterfell by my survival but when I first returned though she was shocked she was very content, she gave me the letter I never opened and asked after Ned as though she was already half in love with him, and she was fully inlove with her little baby, Hoster may have thought the world ended with my survival but Catelyn’s had not ended until she found out Ned cheated on her. She probably thought that was the thing he could offer her that I could not and he brought another woman’s baby home to her.

“My happiness hardly matters.” Ned says finally like the good soldier he was.

“It matters to me.” I assured and nods and does a little smile. He was my little brother just like Benny if not a little less cute and I would do anything for him as well. I smiled as we seemed to finally find an understanding.

“I do have to hit you when this is all over.” I admit.

“What?” He asked confused thinking it was all sorted.

“It’s a new rule I’ve come up with, if you yell at my wife, I am going to hit you.” I told him.

“Not a bad rule.” Ned admits sheepishly he was not the kind of man who screamed at women he was breaking at the seams and I saw that now.

“Why Ned?”

“I thought if I scared her, she would not ask any questions about Jon. It was what I was going to do if Cat asked questions about Jon’s mother.” He admits.

I had to close my eyes for a moment. How was Ned such a good man and yet so stupid? When my eyes open, I threw my goblet watching it hit the wall behind Ned as he jumped.

“Why the hell did you do that!” Ned asked his hand had went to his sword out of habit.

“What? You mean I did something irrational and scary and it did not keep you from asking questions?” I said with fake shock.

“Point.” Ned grumbles. “I am trying my best Brandon, I never asked for this secret!” He admits he is such a young man but right now he seems aged and tired. We’ve all been aged by our experiences, but we are truly young men and women.

“Well I am here to help, but you have to be honest with me now.” I told him sitting down he joined me sitting across the desk.

“What do you want to know?”

“Did you see her when she was alive?” I asked quietly with a painful feeling in my gut. I had to know.

“Yes. I am not sure she was herself she had just given birth to Jon and lost a lot of blood.” Ned said oddly as if he was far away and still haunted by what transgressed.

“She died of childbirth?” I asked after a silence.

“Yes.” Ned admits.

“Tell me Rhaegar Targaryen suffered on the trident?” I growled out.

Ned seemed confused by my sudden blood lust. He was crushed to death by Roberts war hammer while he drowned both in the water and in his own blood.”

I picked up the cup meant for Ned. “Good.” I mused drinking long while Ned just stared at me.

“What? Are sister is dead because he raped her until he put a baby on her. From what Elia has said he did not even enjoy the act as most men do so why? Why did he do this why did he hurt our sister?!” I said angry and upset about things that were hard to voice.

“I do not know if you want me to tell you the truth.” Ned said softly.

“Lying did not get us far, go on.” I told him he took the goblet from my hand before I could protest, he was filling it up. “That bad?” I asked as he returned with it.

“Lyanna went with Rhaegar by choice.”

“Fuck off Ned.” I said angry.

“She did not want to marry Robert and-“

“Lyanna would not do that! Lyanna would have told us she did not want to marry Robert she would not just run off with some prince.”

“She told me Robert would never be faithful. I did not know how much that truly bothered her. I thought it was just Lyanna complaining.” He admits he blamed himself but I was so confused and shocked.

“Well that even makes less since for her to run off with another woman’s husband!” I told him I could not believe what Ned was saying or why he was saying it, but I guzzled down the ale.

“I don’t understand it either.” Ned admits his eyes are watery sometimes I forget he is barely 20, I know he isn’t saying this out of malice and he would not say it if it were not true but I cannot wrap my head around it.

Lyanna was young and had fantasies young girls have about pretty boy knights and sure Rhaegar Targaryen fit all of them, and in truth as I thought about it Lyanna was not used to not getting her way if father would not give her what she wanted I would And the first thing father ever denied her that I could not give her was away out of marrying Robert. We taught her anything she wanted she deserved. It only made me feel worse about the fight I had with Elia about that stupid doll. What I said it Elia. Mayhaps Lyanna would want to go with him but why would Rhaegar take her?

“But Rhaegar it makes no sense why he would take Lyanna it turned everyone against him?”

“Apparently they were that in love.” Ned said with a shrug it still did not make sense.

“ Elia said Rhaegar did not enjoy bedding? So why would he run off with another man’s future wife and have a bastard by her?”

Ned was red at any talk of intimacy. “Apparently Rhaegar did not like the Dornish or at least those that looked Dornish. I think he taught his hatred to Lyanna…..or she was just repeating what she heard him say.” Ned admits and as much as I hated to admit it she could have she was a very young. I remember agreeing with father because he was my father and I loved him while not understanding his issues. My father took me aside and told me to learn he told me the next lord of Winterfell would not be a parakeet that repeated words others said. I wondered if he ever thought to have the talk with his daughter.

I could not imagine little Lyanna who liked horsies and collected wildflowers actually hating someone for there skin color, why would she let him bring her down that path. I also felt angry on Elia’s behalf that is why he did not love her because she was Dornish? Elia’s clever, kind, good, forgiving, considerate, she is tough when she needs to be, the perfect proper wife, a loving mother, and to me she was gorgeous with her dark skin, lustrous curles, plump lips and those haunting black eyes. She looks best of all when she is writhing in pleasure in my arms crying out my name. To say nothing of the pleasure she brought me. And Lyanna was still just a girl, the racist idiot preferred a child not yet 15 to a Dornish woman who bore his children? Ned could call it blood lust or wolfblood, but I was glad he was dead the world was better off without him, Elia certainly was.

“Lyanna did not think of Jon as a bastard.”

“Well…she was dying Ned?” She could not exactly be asked to understand the workings of society while she bleed out.

“No, I mean she told me Rhaegar took her as his second wife though he meant to annul his first marriage.”

“That would bastardize his son and daughter?” I said Ned of course had no answer but what kind of man would do that to his own children. The little girl who learned how to howl like a wolf and loved ridding around on a little pony. The silver headed boy who slept in my bed and trusted me to take care of him. Whose own father left him, his sister and mother defenseless against Aerys to go run away with a little girl no love was not a good enough reason.

“Lets not tell Elia that part.” I said finally she had enough disappointment from Rhaegar in one lifetime. Ned stiffened.

“We aren’t telling Elia any of it!” He told me. “This is house Starks secret. You may care for her deeply, but she has no reason to love Lyanna as it is if she knows she might seek revenge on Lyanna through Jon.”

“I appreciate your concern for Jon, but I know Elia better then you do, and it is my call.”

“No Brandon please just leave things how they are.” Ned said worried changing course would cause suspension.

“Many lords as of now don’t believe he is yours in the first place.” I admit with a shrug mayhaps if I was not here to be a more obvious target. “Anyone who knows you would believe you would do this for me.” After all it was who Ned was, he was doing it for Lyanna.

“No, announcing it now would-“

“I am not announcing anything. At least not now. You will leave your family will follow and Jon will stay in Winterfell. People will be suspicious for years and at some point, I will claim Jon as my own.”

“What do you mean I will leave?”

“The plans I had you go get are mine I sent to lord Crewyn to have his opinions on them. He was quiet the builder apparently. I am making you the lord of moat Calign to better arm us from the south, the keep has rotted away though, you will take men and these plans and build a new one. Catelyn and the baby will stay here until such time that the keep is finished.”

“Jon should come.”

“No Jon belongs at Winterfell, he gets the chance to grow up with his brother and sister and when he is old enough I am going to tell him.” I told him simply.

“He doesn’t need to know at least not till he’s at the watch.”

“The watch?”

“He won’t be a threat to Robert there he will be safe at the wall.” I sighed why did Ned have the fixation to send every youth of house stark to the watch? Would Robb get the same or was it only those here with me?

“You and I either have different versions of the word safe or the word wall.” I told him making him frown. “You said it was a house stark secret so after everything that has happened to Elia I am going to lie to her, but Jon is apart of this house bastard or no.”

“Your going to be the death of us all.” Ned said angry. “But that’s your call to make even if you, Jon, and I are killed for it.”

“It is. I suppose you can say I told you so before we hang.” I agreed though he was starting to piss me off again.

“I hope you realize if we die no one will be here to protect your princess and her children. We might not be hanging alone.” I could have smacked him for that but I did not for the sake of our parents who always wanted us to get along.

“I wont let that happen.” I growled we had been getting on so well he was bound to ruin it. “We need to stop anyone else from finding out this place is full of people who knew Ly-“ I started as the fire crackled and a thought crossed me for the first time apparently my misery was on my face because Ned noticed.

“Brandon are you alright?” he asked as I rose.

“I went to the capital for nothing Ned, I was in that cell for nothing, father died for nothing. I have been living with the guilt of father’s death solely on my hands! It was Lyanna’s fault too she could have at least told us what she had done. Own up to it! Instead she let us believe she was kidnapped and raped!” I said angry tears pooling in my eyes, so I shut them. The next thing I knew Ned was hugging me. His arms wrapped around me tightly. He had not hugged me like this since I left for Burrowtown. I was still his hero back then.

“We are going to protect this house together Ned.” I told him finally and he nodded. I had to push away thoughts of Lyanna and what she meant to me as we made a plan only to be interrupted by Maestor Luwin.

“Damnit Luwin-“ I began.

“He’s dying if you want to say goodbye you must hurry!” Luwin said we took off towards the maestors chambers. Benjen was already there the tears stung his cheek.

“Lord Stark I am so sorry; I am so sorry.” Warlys cried when he saw me.

“You have done nothing wrong Warlys.” I promised.

“If I had found her journal sooner Brandon would not be in cell right now.” He cried he thought I was father.

Ned and I looked at each other. “Luwin get out!” I barked and he did.

“Where is the journal Warlys?” Ned asked.

“I gave it to you?” Warlys said looking at me.

“Father’s solar?” I asked.

“Or his bedroom.” Ned asked.

“What are you two talking about?” Benjen asked confused.

Before I could answer Warly grabbed my hand this man helped raise us. I leaned down. “Thank you for your service Warly’s. You will never be forgotten in these walls or our hearts.” I promised and he smiled.

Warlys smiled at us. “I love you boys.” He said in a moment of clarity.

“We love you too.” Benjen promised.

“I am so tired.” Warlys admitted.

“That’s okay you can rest your eyes.” Ned promised.

His eyes fluttered before shutting a smile on his face. His hand went limp soon enough, I placed it on the cot gently. “You were a good man Warly.” I said softly.

Ned went and told Luwin to make arrangements to put him in the linchyard and that we would be down shortly.

“We need to find it.” Ned said sharply.

“We will split up to find it faster and burn the damn thing.” I told him.

“What are you doing Warly’s just died!” Benjen snapped.

“Benjen Roberts rebellion was built on a lie we-“ I began Ned pulled me back by my shoulder making me give him an annoyed look.

“He is a Stark Ned he deserves to know. Besides if you and I are hanging Benjen has to keep Winterfell going or in lou of that escape to essos with our loved ones.”

“Your scaring me.” Benjen admits.

“I will explain better later but what you need to know now is that we have a secret we need to protect and Lyanna’s diary could reveal it.”

Ned was annoyed. “Just go look in your solar!” He barked.

“No you go look in the solar I’ll look in my bedroom.”

“Does it matter who makes the plan right now?”

“What are you going to say if Elia catches you in our room? Just coming for a quick look at her under garments?” I asked making Ned scowl and his cheeks redden he had not thought of that.

“You search your bedroom I will-“

“I know where it is.” Benjen admits. “I saw it on Papa’s desk and Lyanna never let me read it. Nobody had told me what happened yet, and I hide it to read later but then I found out what happened and I promise I did not.” He told us.

“Just get it.” I told him softly. We were going to burn it but then I realized should we need proof of what happened this was all there was, still it was to dangerous to get in the wrong hands so we put it in a small wooden box that was placed in Warlys casket even in death he was serving house Stark.

We explained what happened to Benjen who was very silent about the whole thing for the longest time. “How could she do that to Elia?” He whispered to me finally and I had no answer to him I was still reeling myself.

“We don’t want anyone to notice anything between Jon and Lyanna, so we are going to move the portrait of our family out of the great hall and into storage.” I told him.

“If anyone says anything, we will say he has the stark look which is true.” Ned said nervously.

Benjen nodded. “I don’t think there’s anything else is there?” Benjen asked.

“Damnit.” I realized. “That damn doll.”

I knew Rhaenys would be asleep by this time. I stopped Ned with my hand we were not all going to barge into her room and scare her. I took the torch from Benjen going in.

She was there in her bed with the doll in question. The thing did look like Lyanna the craftman did an excellent job.

“Papa?” She asked softly.

“No Rhaenys its me, it Brandon.” I told her. Her eyes fluttered and an evil grin appeared on her face. “That’s even better! Are we going ridding?” She asked though she yawned as she said it. She sat up her hair was wildly curled and half stuck to her face it was really cute.

“Not now sweetie, right now I need your doll back. I am going to bring you a new one.”

“But she looks like you.” Rhaenys whined it made me smile. She was a pretty great kid I saw so much of Elia in her.

“Yes….but she should look like you.” I told her.

“Is it important you take her now.” She asked pouting like her mother does.

“Yes I’m afraid it is.” I told her the oddest thing is that instead of whine she just offered her most prized possession to me. 

“Go back to sleep.” I told her.

“Night night.” She says her head going back against the pillow.

“Night night.” I say back as I went to leave.

“Brandon I wish you were my papa.” She says as she’s half nodding off. I felt something in my heart I had to ignore for the moment.

Disposing of the doll was easy enough. “Where are you going!” Ned asked as I snuck to the stables it was odd sneaking out of my own castle but Elia would be done in the hall anytime now and could be anywhere probably looking for me we had such wonderful plans and this evening was becoming worse and worse.

“I have to get a new doll.” I said.

“Now?”

“You don’t understand you don’t have a daughter.” I jeered.

“Well I am going with you.” Ned said and I could agree to that.

We rode into winter town there was only one such shop there and it’s main purpose was mending things but the old man made dolls too. We were lucky he slept in his shop. At first, he told us to fuck off when I banged on the door and Ned kept watch. I had the pleasure of having to tell him “I am Lord Stark, we need a doll now!” An odd declaration but he let us in all the same.

His dolls sat on shelves, the lowest shelf had dolls made of dried leaves, the next two shelves had cloth dolls and the top shelf had three glass dolls. All three of them were pale white.

“You don’t have a tan one do you?”

“I can paint the doll any color you’d like. But it will have to dry and the face will have to be repainted.”

“How long.”

“If I start now I can deliver her before dawn, delivering her will be extra.”

“I will let the guards no you are coming.” I added two extra gold dragons. “For waking you and making you work through the night.” I explained he was grateful.

“Which one and how shall she look?”

“The curly haired one, brown skin, purple eyes.” I said he pulled out three jars of brown and I pointed to the best one.

“Only have one purple.” He says with a shrug.

“Thank you.” I told him before we departed, I spotted the carvings.

“My daughter does those.” He tells me. “She’s good with a blade.”

“Very.” I tell him my hand comes across a wooden direwolf. It was large enough it could not be swallowed but it didn’t seem to heavy. “I’ll take this too.” I told him he surely thought we were the strangest lords in the world coming into his shop in the middle of the night.

Ned and I rode in silence and unsaddled in silence, but I felt closer to him in along time the burden of this truth should not be his alone to bare.

“Will get through this together Ned.” He already disapproved of my choices but nodded.

I took this opportunity to Turn and hit him, he stumbled onto the ground.

“Don’t ever yell at Elia again got it?” I asked her nodded clutching his face.

“Don’t be a baby, come on.” I tell him helping his up and grabbing a fist full of dirt smearing it against his tunic before missing his hair.

“What are you doing!” He growled.

“Saving your marriage. Go to Cat-lyn and tell her we got in a fight tell her you never wanted to do this anyways, tell her I got a serving girl at Kingslanding pregnant and you were going to take the baby because I didn’t want the responsibility or wasn’t responsible enough or whatever you feel like. Go make her happy Ned, have an uncomplicated life with her.

Ned smiled. “Shes beautiful isn’t she.”

“She is.” I agreed.

“We were happy at first.”

“When you made your son? No doubt you were happy.” I teased.

“I always thought if I had not had to leave so soon, we could have stayed happy, but had it not been for the war…. well she would not be my wife.” I do not want to discuss this but I do want Ned to be happy.

“I’m glad she is your wife, what’s done is done do not overthink it.” I told him and he smiled.

I went to my chambers it was warm in there as it always is. Elia was asleep with her babe in her arms. They were both on my side of the bed snuggled against my pillow.

I decided not to walk any closer in fear of waking them and Elia asking me a thousand questions when she was so peaceful asleep. Instead I went to my close by chair and sat down continent to sleep there for the night. I watched them for a moment before closing my eyes.

“Stark?” Was called and my eyes opened to see Aegon sitting up with messy silver hair standing up it was quite cute actually.

“shh let’s not wake mommy.” I said quietly.

“Stark!” He said again louder now patting the bed as though I need his help to find it.

Elia lifted her head tiredly she looked at me for a few moments as her asleep mind tried to process what was going on.

“What are you doing over there? Come to bed.” She said beautiful words in her beautiful accent. I wanted nothing more then to be in her arms though I did not deserve them not after what I would soon do.

“I will just stay here.”

“I missed you.” She says softly. Aegon pats the bed again.

“Lia I have to tell you something tomorrow and you may not want me to sleep in your bed for awhile.” I admit.

“Are the children in danger? Does it concern them?” She asked nervously.

“No love.” I promised seeing the worry on her face it left as soon as it came, she trusted me completely and I was going to lie to her tomorrow.

“Then it can wait till the morning. Come get in our bed.” She said she called it are bed and I could not help but get up. I wanted to be there I kicked off my boots and took off my coat and shirt before climbing in bed. Instead of moving the over I moved them on to me knowing this is where they would end up anyways.

“I still with hold the right to be angry with you in the morning.” She mumbles against my chest making me chuckle. Aegon whines at my chest moving. But settles happily as his mothers hand rubs his tummy.

“Of course.” I promised kissing her head. “I love you Elia.”

_My father was in his forty’s, but he was still strong and fierce in his armor as we stood before the king. In the brief moment we had together he told me even if he should not survive, I had to. “You are the future of house Stark Brans.” He says simply and he actually smiled in this horrible moment. “Suppose all that fighting you did in your youth might not be in vain now.” My father was more Solomon like Ned so the joke surprised me.”_

_“You should not have come for me.” I whispered out of fear for my father._

_“Had to, your my boy.” He said simply there was nothing else about it._

_Not long after my father was grabbed as was I, seeing the men take me awoke a rage in my father._

_“What is the meaning of this!” He yelled._

_“The champion of house Targaryen is fire!” He yelled there were initial gasps in the throne room but soon all five thousand men were silent besides my fathers shouting and my cursing I tried to fight back but I was outnumbered. A foreign noose around my neck while father was in chains though he killed three of his assailants, the put him upon the pyre._

_“Father!” I yelled trying to rush forward being hit in the throat. They put strange rope around me and pulled it tight._

_“Save your father if you be a loyal son, I’ll even bring you a sword.” Aerys said as a sword was placed out of my reach, I just needed a little room to get it. I kept straining to reach it as they began preparing the fires._

_Blood from my nose trickled down onto my fingers I gasped for air as I grasped for the sword and suddenly, I smelt flowers and oranges. It was Elia’s perfume. I was not here in truth it was just a nightmare. I knew what happened next, my father would be burned alive infront of me screeching out in pain, I would try to get to the sword still this time slowly moving forward run out of air and pass out from pain or lack of breath or shock I did not know._

_That did not happen now, instead I found I could get up that I was not truly being held back. I walked passed the sword to my screaming father._

_“It’s over, this is just a dream you aren’t in pain anymore. We are not in Kingslanding anymore, you’re in the crypts in your resting place and I am in bed with my wife.” I told him, he was no longer screaming his chain did not stop him the fire did not burn him as he stepped down and put his hand on my shoulder._

_“You’re not in pain anymore either Brandon remember thar.” He tells me._

I wake up suddenly. Elia has her back turned to me and her hair in my face, one arm is under her and Aegon whose cuddled against Elia’s chest has his hand tightly holding onto mine. I wonder if I will get the arm back from those two. My other hand rub against her back.

“Brandon.” She whispers half asleep she still knows my touch.

“I love you Lia.”

“Alright dear.” She mumbles making me smile.

“I want you to know your safe at Winterfell, and your children are safe, that I will always keep you safe.”

“That’s very sweet.” She sighs half asleep.

“I never knew you were the person I could not live without Elia, and I am so sorry for not knowing that, or accepting that at first and I am sorry if I have ever made you unhappy because your it for me. I am sorry you have had a hard life, but I am happy it led to me.” I told her I was pretty sure she was asleep.

“Brandon?”

“Yes love?” I asked she rolled onto my shoulder with Aegon in her arms who made a little noise but rested comfortably on my stomach sleeping through our talking. Elia’s eyes were closed her hand felt around against me till she found my mouth she pressed her palm against it.

“Fucking go to sleep Brandon.” Apparently, my roaring laughter did not bother them as they were already used to my snoring which was good because I laughed for some time at my proper little wife telling me to fucking go to sleep while I bothered her. It kept the smile plastered on my lips and made me love her even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been dying for this chapter, I really wanted the Stark men to get back on the same page!
> 
> I wanted to say thanks to all you really awesome people who leave really amazing well thought out comments. I really appreciate it thank you! Thanks for reading let me know what you think!


	15. Truth

**Chapter 15: Truth**

When the door squeaked open, I sat up from where I was cuddling with Brandon to see it was only Nan and laid back down.

Brandon seemed to expect her because he only looked to make sure it was her instead of tensing up, he was usually he was more jumpy then even I was about people entering a room especially when it was ours.

“Come on master Aegon it’s time to greet the day.” She told him as she walked over. He grumbled at first, but Brandon tossed him in the air and caught him making him giggle.

“Say your goodbyes.” Nan told.

“Goodbye mommy, goodbye Stark.” My little son said so sweetly before going crawling down and taking her hand.

“Lord Stark.” I corrected I was trying to teach Aegon manners, he was growing wilder by the minute.

“I like Stark.” Brandon said getting a glare from both the old woman and me.

“Course you would, get to it now, I am taking the baby. You aren’t going to get her with child that far from her Brandon.” The old woman said bluntly surprising me, but Brandon just laughed.

They were soon gone, and Brandon happily turned to me.

“Do you remember what you said to me last night princess?” Brandon said with a wild smile.

“Something amusing I assume by how happy you are with yourself.” I teased stretching.

“You said fucking.” He said as though it were the best thing to happen.

I learned that word from Oberyn when he was 11 and I 12. “No, you must be mistaken.”

“You said it I remember!” Brandon swears excitedly.

“Maybe you dreamed it.” I told him with a teasing smile. He pulled me into his arms to sit on his lap I was trying my hardest not to laugh. He kept trying to meet our eyes and I kept looking away giggling as I did so. He finally pushed me down on the bed onto my back and crawling on top of me finally getting my gaze.

“Not very proper my lady wife.” Brandon pretends to scold kissing at my neck.

“It’s not proper to wake people up while they are trying to sleep either.” I told him his mouth opened wide.

“I knew it!” He said victoriously his hand going down and cupping my breast I wanted him so badly, but I remembered what he said last night.

“We need to stop.” I told him at once.

“Your moonblood?” He asks moving off of me.

“Well yes.” I said and he moved over me again holding himself above me with a cocky smile.

“Blood does not frighten me Elia. Besides in my youth I was arrogant enough to say a bloody sword is a beautiful thing.” He admits making me smile but only briefly.

“What did you mean last night when you came in late?” I asked his face changed immediately he moved off me and then off the bed entirely.

“I am sorry Elia I woke up so happy I had nearly forgotten I wasn’t trying to…”

“I know.” I admitted I got swept up in how happy we can be together how easy it can be now.

“You were honest with me and I need to be honest with you.” Brandon told me but there was something heavy and unsure in the way he talked very unlike Brandon.

I breathed in deeply in preparation for whatever this could be. “Whatever it is just say it.” I asked I could not be left with my own worries another second.

“Jon isn’t Ned’s bastard he’s mine. “He said out with it. It took me a moment to understand what it was he was telling me even though he said it plainly the meaning was hard to grasp I never would have guessed.

“So that’s why you forfeited our bed last night.” I said softly. I looked down at the floorboards observing the pattern of the wood. I could not look at those grey eyes. Those eyes that had the power to still my breath and heat the whole of my being at will, I would surely sympathies with those beautiful eyes and the man behind them if I looked at them. I was not ready for that yet.

“Ned will be leaving to Moat Calign but I want Jon here.”

“Of course, you do.” I said softly I of all people understood that.

I looked up to face him. “Why did you not tell me?” I asked surprising him oddly enough. Did he think I would not question him? He was without a quick response for once in his life an awkward quietness settled over us for a few minutes.

“I thought it would upset you.” Brandon said finally.

I scoffed shaking my head. It was hard to dignify that with a response.

“Ned said you had other bastards. Where are they I could do without any other surprises?” I asked not wanting to be caught off guard again.

“I forgot that lovely comment Ned made when he returned. “ He grumbled he thought I did not catch that but I had at the time I hadn’t really cared but my mind has wandered back to it as we got closer.

“Where are they, who are their mothers?” I asked.

“There was a woman in Wintertown called Mags who had my stillborn, And a farm girl outside Burrowtown in the riles I used to ride around, she gave birth to a little girl but she died before I got to meet her.”

“I was very wild back then.” He admits walking over to me putting his hand against my face. “Please do not be angry.”

“I am not angry.” I said quickly.

“Well, you do not sound pleased.” Brandon reminded.

“I am not _pleased_ you felt the need to lie.” I admitted though I knew I did not really have a leg to stand on when it came to lying.

“I thought it would make things awkward.” He said and my brow furrowed.

“You cared about social graces?”

“Elia…….its complicated.” Brandon said.

“How did you have Jon?” I asked realizing he was younger than Robb and at that time he would have been in a prison cell.

“The usual way Elia.” Brandon said simply with a raised brow.

“Not _that_ Brandon. You were in a Black cell.”

“There was a serving girl.” He says and I nod. I wondered if I knew her. The sweet girl who got the laundry or the one who hummed while she lit the fire.

“What happened to her? Is she alright does she know her son is in the North, in Winterfell?” I asked the thought of this woman without her babe brought tears to my eyes nobody deserved that.

Brandon bent down cupping my face and kissing my head.

“What was that for?” I asked the sweet gesture seemed oddly placed.

“For being so kind and good.” He told me before kissing my lips the thought occurred to me that I should not let him kiss me while he told me about his bastard child, but the thought died. It was a short kiss anyways he pulled away.

“Because I love you, and you deserve better then this.” He sighs.

“It isn’t very fair you are being so charming right now?” I reminded.

“I cannot lie to you Elia.” He says decidedly.

“What do you mean?” I asked as he went to the door opening it up and shooing away the maids who waited there. He shut and locked it. This should have startled me, but it was more confusing than anything.

“I was telling you a lie just now, Jon is not mine but that’s what we are going to let people think because…..well because the truth is worse and ugly. I thought not telling you would protect you, but I think I was trying to protect myself from the pain it would cause you.” He admits and a tear ran down my check.

“Elia?” Brandon asks coming to comfort me.

“I have an ugly truth I’ve been keeping from you too.” I admit realizing I was not sure if I was protecting Brandon or myself. “I know it will hurt you and I do not want that but I also did not want……….I thought the truth would change how you feel about me if you believed me at all.” I admitted.

He sat on the bed next to me and offer me his hand. “Together then?”

I took his hand nodding

“Should I go first or you?” He asked softly.

“Well what if you’re so angry with me you don’t tell me your lie?” I asked softly.

“Blurting them out the same time seems childish and... difficult.” Brandon says.

“We could write each other letters?” I suggest and he chuckles.

“Of course your suggestion reminds me when I was a boy being tutored.” He teases.

“Some people like learning.” I remind.

“I will go first; I trust you to keep your word.” He says simply. “Should I let your hand go for this?” He asked considerately I had no idea what he was going to say but I knew the answer.

“No.” I told him softly squeezing his hand softly. “We are doing this together, even if it’s bad and we are angry or hurt well we will be those things together too.” I promised.

“Jon is not my bastard or Ned’s. Ned just said he was his to protect Jon and I have decided to let the world think he’s mine to protect Ned. Jon is Rhaegar and Lyanna’s son.” He told me the words hit like blades I never would have guessed that.

“Ned told you this.”

“He did, after I figured it out.”

“How? I mean how did you find out?” I asked my head was still spinning there was a tightness in my stomach as I tried to process this.

“He looks like my sister and I know Ned he would not mar his precious honor with a bastard.” Brandon assured. I supposed she was his sister he knew her better than most.

“This better not be another lie.” I warned him. “The other bastards the girl named mags and her still born, the girl in the riles with the baby girl who died was that all a lie?”

“No.” He promised. I breathed trying to calm down. I looked over at him smiling at me like an idiot with those lovely eyes. “No more lies.” He promised we sat there silently for a while.

“Who knows?” I ask finally.

“Benjen, Ned, you, and me. That’s everyone who ever needs to know besides Jon when he is older. This is a Stark secret.” He told me I felt Jon’s half siblings my son and daughter had the right to know when they were older as well but I did not push it. “Ned did not want you to know and as far as anyone needs to know I told you about Jon being my bastard.” He promises.

“He’s Rhaenys and Aegon’s brother.” I said softly trying to control the storm of emotions I felt that were making me feel dizzy.

“I am glad he will be staying here I want Rhaenys and Aegon to get to grow up with their brother, but things cannot go on as they are.” I told him. I would not allow for it to stay as it was. Brandon just stared listening to me. “I am your wife and the lady of Winterfell, if Jon is to grow up here, he is just as much my ward as he is yours. I want to be able to order the staff on how I feel his wellbeing should be cared for and his schooling when he’s older. I want to be able to take him out of that nursery.” I told him.

He took our joined hands to his lips kissing my knuckles. “Of course.” He promises. “I know this is hard.” He says softly like we were not forced to marry, and he is only my lover.

“It’s not Jon’s fault who his parents are or what they did.” I told him as the tears poured out of my eyes, it was my turn and the realization had me shaking. “They did it, they ran away together she seduced him or he seduced her I don’t know I only know how she bragged about it when we spoke.” I told him softly.

“You never told me you met Lyanna?” He said he was tense as he said it but his hand never pulled away from mine. “You made me think you never met.”

“I know I-you already knew she ran away with Rhaegar?” I asked my hand began slipping out of his but his hand held mine and his eyes said stay with me.

“Ned told me when I confronted him about Jon I didn’t know. I-I didn’t know about Lyanna, I feel like I’ve lost her again in a few hours.” He admits.

“I never wanted that, I never wanted to hurt you.”

“I never wanted to be a man blind to the horrors around him. She bragged about it?!” He asked he was upset and angry but I could not stop now. I nodded.

“I wanted to apologize for what Rhaegar did and make sure it had not affected how she was being treated and she told me that she slept with my husband.”

“You have to be the kindest person I have ever known. Sometimes I think you are perfect.”

“No I am not, once she told me she planned to be his wife, after knowing her for a few days my husband confided in her that he thought I was an unworthy wife and my children were unworthy I wanted to fall apart in agony and once my grief of realizing Rhaegar would never love me like I thought I loved him, I wanted to have let Arthur hit her.” I admitted.

“Arthur Dayne?” Brandon asked mostly confused but I could still l hear his big brother voice.

“Ashara told him too.” I said and he nods.

“Well, that makes sense at least. Nothing else does. Did I not know her at all? I mean Lyanna was always wild, and rash, but she was so proud to be a northerner and she loved horses……… She poured wine on Benny for laughing at her at Harrenhall he was only a boy of 11, she’s never been nice to other girls and she could be harsh and somewhat hurtful...” He admits.

“What did your father do when she acted like this?” I asked the question looked like it annoyed him but then he just smiled sadly.

“He called her spirited.” Brandon sighed. “She was the only girl and she looked like my mother and we were all more than willing to let her get away with murder and now because of her and I and our stupid wolf blood my father was murdered, and you this kind good person who doesn’t even want her enemy hurt by her husband. You are the one I said was spoiled when obviously you were not the problem.” He said darkly but his eyes softened as he looked at me. “I am so sorry Elia, I am sorry for what I said I am sorry for what Lyanna did, I am sorry my family put yours in danger I…” He trailed off her had no words for how horrible her felt.

“Someone wise once told me not to apologize when you haven’t done anything wrong.” I told him and he smiled. Our hands finally parted only so we could embrace in a tight hug. It was not his fault his father was murdered he was rash, but he was doing it for his sister, I would convince him of this someday. Right now, we just held each other.

“I thought we were going to fight for sure.” I admitted making him laugh.

“So, did I, but the truth works better then we could have imagined.”

“Really? Can you really say you feel better about them?” I asked.

“No, but I don’t feel worse either. I shouldn’t say this because she will always be my sister but I am glad I know the truth and someday I won’t be so angry I don’t know if I will feel better, I think more I won’t feel anything at all when I think of her or him.”

“That’s so sad.” I said softly.

“Mayhaps it should be but they have caused us enough pain I won’t allow anymore.” He said simply we stayed in each other’s arms for a while before he began to pull away.

“Don’t go. The sun is barely up yet.” I told him.

“Your daughter will be up soon though, and the doll should be delivered by now.” He said as he got up.

“Doll?” I asked.

“Well she can’t exactly have Lyanna’s, it looks like her, so it looks like Jon.”

“As much as a doll can?” I said not believing he honestly thought that. Brandon was headstrong, rash, and quick tempered but he was not a fool he was born to be Lord of Winterfell and it showed.

“In my defense….Ned is not as bright as you.” He said making me giggle he rubs the back of his neck. “Honestly?” He asked.

“Well it’s worked so far.” I teased as he gets dressed.

“I sort of could not stand to look at it and yes I understand how hypocritical I am because you had every right to be uncomfortable and angry about that doll. Have I mentioned I am sorry about that?”

“It was mentioned.” I said with a smile. “It is alright, I was not being honest with you either.”

“Well, now we know.” He said making me laugh and what he said sunk in.

“You really got Rhaenys a doll?” I asked.

“To replace the one, I took from her yes, it’s nothing Elia Really.” He said going over to the chair and grabbing something.

“What is that.” I asked he sighed holding it behind his back.

“Well Rhaenys could not be the only one who got a toy.” He said simply.

“What did you get Aegon?” I said in a wonderful shock.

“Nothing it’s just a wooden figure that’s big enough he cannot swallow it.” He promised.

“That’s so sweet.” I told him softly.

“I like your children and they deserve to have something to play with.” He told me.

“I want to see the statue.” I told him he showed me the wooden wolf figure, its teeth were bared and it was up to its full height as if trying to look big.

“It looks angry?” I said simply.

“It isn’t angry it’s just standing it’s ground. I thought, I don’t know, it would make Aegon feel safe and protected. That’s what wolves do protect the pack.” He said softly looking at me. “Is that idiotic.”

“Not at all.” I promised smiling it was the sweetest thing in the world he was the greatest man in the world I was sure of it, though his flaws he was very good, he saved my son, he was determined to protect us, he made me feel loved and he got toys for my children because he loved them to. What he said about not letting Lyanna and Rhaegar make us miserable had new meaning for me. Rhaegar was a terrible husband who made a part of my life very hard, but I was letting him effect what was happening now, and I would not allow that anymore.

A knock hit the door before I could think it over any further. “ Lord Stark a Raven.” Luwins voice called.

“Bolton better have a good reason for not telling me a fire wiped out an entire village.” He grumbled.

“Go, Deal with lord Bolton, I will dress and can be there when you give the children the toys.” I told him happily.

“You can give the toys to the children.” He said simply.

“They are from you, you should.” I promised.

“Fine. I won’t be long.” He promises he kisses me before he leaves.

The children run to me when I enter the nursery. I hold onto them for a moment before I notice Ned is in the room. He stands over Robbs crib and I feel terrible for him.

“I didn’t ask him to make you leave.” I told him finally.

“I did not believe you would my lady.” Eddard said but he stared at his son.

“He will be safe in Winterfell and you will see him soon.” I told him I hated the idea of a child separated from their parent but Moat Caligin was not yet safe for a babe.

Ned nods. “I can’t help wondering if he will remember me.”

“He will, Aegon remembered me.” I said softly.

“Thank you.” He barely whispers as he picks up his son, Little Robb was asleep and stayed dreaming happily nestled in his father’s arms.

As if Jon knew someone else was getting attention he began to whine. Without thinking I went to him picking him up he smiled knowing exactly who I was too.

I held him against me. Who his parents where was not who he was going to be.

“Good morning Jon.” I said softly. I realized Eddard was staring at me. He was still uncomfortable with me holding Jon, I could see the nice moment we had was going to die a painful death as it turned into this one.

“Did Brandon tell you that was his bastard.” Ned said more then asked it was not meant to be cruel as much as presented as fact. I was quite tired of all the lies but it was what Brandon wanted.

“He did.” I told him simply.

“And you still feel the need to hold him?” Ned asked this time.

“Bastards are not hated in Dorne, and I am happy Brandon gets to be a father.” I told him.

“Because you won’t have his children.”

I did not know if this was a question or a comment if it was just his usual honest to a fault mentality or some sort of gruffness, but I did not care. My moon blood was already a unpleasant reminder that I was not pregnant, even though I knew I wouldn’t be but I did not like knowing I would never have Brandon’s children.

Eddard seemed to notice he upset me. “Elia I-“

“You may call me Lady Stark. The charade is over, Jon is Brandon’s and I am Brandons wife and we have both agreed that means I am incharge of his wellbeing. No, I cannot bare Brandon’s children, but I am his wife and the lady of Winterfell and you need to learn to respect that. Mostly because I do not want there to be any anger between us you are Brandon’s brother. I also think it would be wise because everytime you come up against me it never ends your way. I will care for Jon like he is my own child, but how that is will not be up to you? Are we clear?” I asked.

“Yes, my lady.” Ned said as though he could respect me standing up to him.

He took his son and went off.

With Jon I joined my children on the rug where Rhaenys was looking at pictures in a book and Aegon to his sister’s annoyance had to touch every page. Rhaenys extended the book to me. “Momma will you read?” She asked.

“Yes, I will.” I told her repositioning Jon to one side as Rhaenys snuggled into my side and Aegon laid his head on my lap as I read to them about Stark kings, I would skip over the more gory parts and they were young enough not to notice.

“Walton Stark ended the rebellion at the wall and most of Meagors men sent their were……….Walton Stark continued past the wall with the nights watched who were now undermanned. On the other side of the wall giants….were not happy to see Lord Stark.” I said with a frown as I passed over the words ripped apart. Brandons laughter filled the room.

“That might be an understatement love.” Brandon mused. Aegon and Rhaenys ran to him happily as they had when I entered. Rhaenys chattered about her pony and Aegon just hugged onto him.

“This is a terrible book for a nursery.” I told him as I shut it he smiled.

“This is for you Rhaenys.” Brandon said taking a doll from behind his back Rhaenys stared at the doll for the longest time. “I’m sorry I had to borrow your other one.” He said I went over with Jon. She had curly hair like Rhaenys, warm skin like Rhaenys she even had Rhaenys purple eyes. Most surprising of all was the dress she wore. It was orange like the Martell color and red like that of the three headed Dragon. I was as in awe of it as my daughter. She finally took it hugging it to her.

“I love her!” She said happily. She looked at him with big eyes. “Thank you lord stark.” She said very politely before hugging his leg.

“You don’t have to call me Lord Stark.” He told her.

“STARK!” Aegon shouts either as a suggestion or because he was not getting enough attention.

“No, its bad enough Aegon calls you that.” I reminded I was trying to teach Aegon but it was a struggle. One of my children had to have manors.

“We will have to think of something.” Brandon tells her before turning to Aegon.

“And I will have to think of a name for you because Targaryen is to long, and Martell doesn’t quiet work either. Here.” He said his other arm came out from behind his back and he presented the wolf.

Aegon just looked at him.

“It’s a wolf, can you say wolf Aegon?” Brandon asked as my son had no interest in the toy though he was us to people having him repeat words.

“Woof Aegon.” Aegon mumbles making us laugh.

“Close.” Brandon said with an unwavering smile.

“Wolves go ow ow ow!” Rhaenys said happily.

“That’s right Rhaenys.” Brandon told her.

“It’s for you.” Brandon said finally confusing my son more. He was born a heir directly in line for the iron throne, a prince who was never to want for anything and he had never been given a gift before he did not understand exactly.

“Hold it Aegon you might really like it.” I told him.

He does this but he does not quiet understand. Meanwhile Rhaenys has named her doll Visenya and is off conquering the known world with her. Aegon sits the wolf down and looks at it perplexed before his sister catches his eyes and the wolf lays forgotten.

“I am so sorry it was a really lovely gesture.” I told him.

“It’s fine Elia.” He promises.

“What did Lord Bolton say about the fire?” I asked finally.

“Nothing he still hasn’t written me back. It’s some kind of test I think.” Brandon said with a shrug. “He might find he does not enjoy the outcome.” He growls.

“Whatever you do be careful and cautious.” I told him the choices he made would affect everyone in Winterfell I hoped he would understand that. Brandon nods at my request.

“You did not ask me who did write me wife.” Brandon says mischievously.

“Well?” I asked softly sure he was to pleased with himself for it to be good.

“Dorne is willing to have peace meetings with Robert but only if we are in attendance. I assume that its really you they want to see. Jon Arryn writes its my duty to my king to go along with this.” He tells me in his charming way.

My head was spinning, I was beginning to think I would never see my brothers again.

“Will you?” I asked hopefully.

“Of course, but not for Robert or Jon Arryn, I know what its like to be apart from your family, I don’t want that for you.” He says showing his softer side he hides well.

“Thank you.” I softly say the smile that appears fades just as quickly as it appears what this means.

“We have to go to Kingslanding?” I asked softly I wanted to see my brother terribly, but I never wanted to go to Kingslanding again. It was a sacrifice I was willing to make as long as the children stayed in Winterfell with Benjen where they would be safe.

“No Jon did not even try it, he wants riverlands he was thinking Hoster could host because he is oblivious to how unhappy Hoster Tully already is with all of us.” Brandon said adding. “It’s not as short sighted as Robert wanting a big tourney to go with the peace talks.”

“So soon after the horrors at Harrenhall?” I asked we had and understanding on this now and there was a wonderful feeling about being on each other’s side.

“I offered to have a peace treaty at Moat Callign but I will not have a big tourney and specticale my people would not want and mayhaps I sound like an old man now but neither do I.” He admits.

“I understand exactly.” I promised.

“We can be boring together.” He laughs.

“Will Jon Arryn accept?”

“I don’t know, I also said I would leave the North in my brothers care and go to Dorne should that prove easier for everyone.” Brandon said as though it were nothing instead of him giving me a chance to go home, my first in a very long time.

“You’re a very good man Brandon Stark I thank you.”

“Anything for my lady.” He promises.

I was not sure if it was worry or my moon blood or my normal ever horrible health, but I felt drained of energy and handed Jon to Brandon. He took Jon in one arm and me in the other.

“Are you alright?” He asked.

“Yes, just tired.” I promised reaching over and patting little Jon. The children ran past us laughing and playing and this was all I wanted.

“I should not have kept waking you last night, you should rest.” He said concerned.

“I am fine I have everything I need right here Brandon.” I said my hand pulled at his shoulder gently and he leaned down allowing me to kiss him. I really looked at him for a moment, her had such a strong face and the beard made him look very brutish but in a very good way, the scars on his face showed what a hard man he was but in those blue eyes I could see his gentleness and good heart. I wished in that moment I was more like Brandon he knew what he wanted when he wanted it. He never had any doubt of his gut and could speak his mind without any fear that he was wrong. It did not take him long to make up his mind and he trusted it when he did and was proud to say his beliefs. I never had the confidence he had and on top of that I have been wrong before and found heart unreliable and a reason for pain, but I was done letting Rhaegar and Lyanna make me unhappy.

“I love you Brandon Stark.”I told him softly.

I watched the shock on his handsome face.

“Truly?” He asked softly.

“I am sorry it has taken me so long for me to trust it, but I do.” I told him softly.

He kisses my head and against it says. “I love you Elia; I love you and your children. You are the only match for me in stubbornness, I imagine we will be bickering happily in Winterfell for a very long time.” He promises.

I move to kiss him when the door opens.

“Am I interrupting?” Catelyn asked softly.

“No, but I’m afraid your husband has already taken Robb.” I told her she smiled at the thought.

Her blue eyes look down before meeting mine, she brushes back a strand of red hair. “I was hoping to talk to you, my lady.” She says with perfect manners.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that did not go as suspected. I really did mean for them to get into a fight but I think they are getting better at talking to each other and are really growing stronger together and I wanted to show that. 
> 
> Rhaenys and Aegon deserve to have a good father figure and nobody can change my mind on that.
> 
> I honestly have nothing against Ned I just think he is to lawful good to want their to be any complications with Jon and thats how he sees Elia being close to Jon.
> 
> Catelyn's POV is next!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading please let me know what you think! (I'm trying to get better about answering comments its an anxiety thing but I am really working on it. I really appreciate so many of you take the time to write such awesome thoughtful things!)


	16. Tully

Chapter 16: Tully

They were both shocked I was not there to see my son or even Brandon and instead asked for her.  
She gave me a smile that was meant to be comforting. “Of course, children be good. I will see you soon.” She promises. I knew she kept the books of Winterfell and managed other duties of the lady of Winterfell but from what I heard and saw Elia would rather just stay with her children all day. Before I was a mother I did not understand women like that, now I loved nothing more than Robb.  
“We will finish this later Lady wife.” Brandon guarantees making her smile before we leave the nursery. She takes me up to her bedchamber, she does not have a solar of her own, so it is almost expected but it is odd to be in Brandon’s rooms under these circumstances. Its not how imagined it, it was not like his rooms when he stayed at Riverrun.   
I still remembered Lysa and I sneaking into his rooms while he was training Edmure. We thought it would make us understand him better and I had thought it did. Knives scattered across the table, think blankets pushed to the floor. It had smelled like ale, sex, and man in the room and I realized what a wild stallion I was to marry, and it did nothing to dull how I longed for him.  
Here the bed was made with many furs atop it, no knives or weapons were out, the chamber in all was well kept a few books of fables mostly told to children littered the floor, there was a belt of Brandons that seemed forgotten under a chair, taken off in a hurry no doubt, the beautiful room just smelled clean.  
“Please sit, make yourself comfortable.” Elia said in her thick accent I wondered if her drawl was attractive to Brandon or mayhaps it was annoying? More likely he did not give thought to it. I was almost sure at this point I had given more thought to Elia Martell then both her husbands combined.  
I had cried when I heard Brandon had died just as I cried when I found out he was alive, and I was already married. I was embarrassed to even admit to myself that I cried most of all when I found out he would marry another.   
At the time I had Eddard as a consolation. He was not as handsome as his brother, but he was shyer, truer, and when we were alone sweeter. He was loyal and honorable, and I was sure he was all mine. That unlike Brandon he would never have to be shared and that someday I would love him. After all I loved his baby the moment I knew about Robb. I worried about Ned through the war and not just because if they lost the king would kill us all including my unborn son. I prayed every night that Ned would survive where Brandon had not. He rewarded my faithfulness with a bastard or so I thought.  
I nodded but was unsure which chair to sit in. She seemed to understand this and went ahead sitting down at the foot of her chair was sharpening stones though there was no blade present. The chair next to it that I sat in had a fur hanging off it, needle work on the arm and smelled like oranges or lemons and flowers making me think it was her chair.   
“What is it you would like to talk about Lady Catelyn?” Elia asked and I could not help but look her over. Like her health her features were fragile, but she had an exotic and Ethereal beauty about her. It was understandable why Brandon liked her so much. I pictured her so ill she could hardly get out of bed, no matter how she felt she looked pretty enough. No, she did not compare to the loveliness that was Lyanna Stark but it still did not make sense why the dragon prince decided to show his cruel nature and steal Lyanna away and leave his wife and children.  
“You once asked to talk with me, and I dismissed the idea entirely and I am truly sorry for that.” I admitted finally it was not easy for me to admit fault, but she had reached out to me.  
“It’s fine, You were not ready to talk yet.” She says simply.  
“I am now.” I promised.  
“I did not ask for your husband to be sent away I want you to know that.” She assured. My husband was a man with an incomparable sense of right and wrong. The woman before me had a different set of beliefs and they seemed destined to strife. I should not be so comforted by this, but it was nice to no Ned would never look at her heartsick the way Brandon does. Brandon never looked at me like that he said wonderful things about how pretty I was and how happy he would make me. But I never had such a hold on him.  
“I did not suspect you did.” I promised.  
“Oh.” She says as though it changed everything.  
“Are we to discuss lord Stark then?” Elia asked respectfully enough though I doubted she always called him Lord Stark.  
“We probably should.” I admitted though it was not why I wanted to speak with her.  
She nods. “My husband left me, I would never have asked to take yours.”  
“You were not given a choice it is nothing I can blame you for.” I told though her calling Brandon my husband made my heart twitch he was supposed to be my husband.  
“That’s what I was taught to, that a lady should understand politely when things do not go her way she does not cause a seen or act poorly, but men get to scream and hit when they feel like it, its hardly fair.” Elia says and I could not help but smile as I felt relief wash over me.  
“I was sure you would hate me.” I confessed why would she not.  
“No, why would I hate you?” She asked sweetly putting her hand on mine.  
“The man who married you is the man I was to marry and your enemy here is the man I am to marry.” I reminded.  
Her hair shook as she laughed. “This man that man, it has nothing to do with you and I.”  
“I like that.” I admit. “It’s hard to follow though.”  
“It is.” She agrees. “When we first met I did not like your talk of Brandon but not as one girl jealous of another. I though Brandon abandoned me and left my children in a dire situation, I apologize for being testy at his very name.” She says and my eyes widened I do not know it bothered her I had not meant it to either.  
“I am so sorry, I never meant for it like that I cannot believe I was so foolish!” I said squeezing my eyes close and the redness came to my face it must have came off as awfully bad manners but that was not my intention. I felt embarrassed admitting why I said that, but I had to let her know it was not out of malice.  
“That was not for your benefit my lady I thought if I mentioned Brandon…Ned might actually…..” I started but felt this roughness in my throat.  
“Be jealous?” She asks softly.  
“Just care.” I whimper tears caressed my cheeks I was surprised when I felt her arms around me.  
“Its alright, you are not the first woman ever to want her husband to notice her.” She said I wipped my face.  
“I never thought of it like that.” I admitted she let me go sitting back in her husbands chair.  
“Did it work?” She askes I was surprised she cared.  
“No, I don’t know. ” I told her.   
“Would you like my opinion you do not have to take it.” She says steadily.  
“Please.”   
“Do not try to make him jealous, he already is. You will get more love from making him feel safe in your admiration then always second to his brother.” She says wisely there is nothing bitter or biased in the way she says it, its her honest opinion and I saw her point.  
“Last night was better than it has been.” I told her, on our wedding night he had promised me faithfulness and the thought that he instantly broke it had burned me. Last night he came to me battered he had gotten in a fight with his brother and I washed his bruised face while he told me the truth about Jon It was the first time we had been together since we were first married. It was a great weight off my shoulders and on to this woman’s. I wanted to make sure she was alright. The child in question was cooing in Brandon’s arms when I walked into the nursery, I wondered if she knew? Ned told me not to say anything to anyone that Brandon would deal with it in his own way. It was more of a Brandon thing then Ned to have a bastard and she deserved to know but it was not my place to say so I was quick to move on.  
“Men have always been foreign to me, but Northmen are the oddest creatures yet.” I admit realizing she was in the same situation as myself graced with proper southern manors married to a Northerner.  
“They can be quite brutish, not in a bad way more…. intriguing then anything.” She says in her thick accent she smiled a bit to herself and toyed with the silver Direwolf necklace she wore as she thought about him.  
I remember being that lovesick for Brandon Stark though when I loved him, he was a handsome smirking lordling not an angry changed lord who survived torture. He had this wonderful strut when he walked and now, he did his best not to limp. I heard him yelling before his voice carried from his rooms to ours, he scared me some. Yet I could not stop my heart from how it remembered him. Though my mind knew even though I was a wife and mother now I was only 19 I was not sure I could love this man give him the love he needed and mayhaps this wise woman could, I was not quite sure only time would tell.  
“I wish Ned looked at me the way Brandon looks at you when you aren’t looking.” I tell her softly smiles.  
“That’s the thing, he does you just aren’t looking.” She muses.  
“Why are you being so kind to me.” I asked finally I was from the south at least south of here I knew how southern girls treated each other.  
She takes my hand. “Being a woman is hard enough in this world. We should never make it harder.” She says and I realized I was not a gossiping girl anymore I was a woman. “And we are sister now, I always wanted a sister and I would like to think I will be a good one.” She says and the word sister is beautiful on her lips it makes me wish my sister and I were closer. I would not make that mistake again with Elia.-

“Did Brandon tell you about Jon?” I ask she stiffened.  
“What do you mean?” She asked.  
“Jon is Brandon’s bastard.” I blurt out she had a right to know.  
“Brandon told me.” She says she chose her words carefully as she often seemed to.  
“Aren’t you upset.”  
“Worse things then a bastard have happened to me.” She promised and I could not imagine what she had been through. “Jon is the only son Brandon will ever have, I am happy to raise Brandon’s child.”   
That was something I could not say through all my proper manners her loyalty baffled me.  
I did not understand her feelings about Jon but I did respect it and think her much more capable to handle Brandon and all he came with then I.

Elia and I talked for the rest of the morning about the north and how foreign it is to us, we talked of the families we miss, and our children and before I know it I understand Brandon better because the Dornish princess was winning me over as well. 

I went to find my quiet northern lord in the Godswood with our son gurgling and pulling at the grass.  
Ned to was fixated on the ground he had dug up soil putting it into a bucket. He glanced over at me continuing his work as I picked up our son.  
“Brandon is giving us a weirwood seed. Moat Calliagn will have to have a Godswood, we will build a little sept too so your gods can be there.” He says kindly. He had a good heart even if he was a somber man.   
“Really?” I said surprised he nods it was hard to get many words from Ned but he looked over at me cuddling his baby under the giant tree and he smiled happily.  
“When will we be able to join you?” I asked.  
“When it’s safe.” Ned says simply.  
“When will that be?” I asked him as Rob babbled at me wanting my undivided attention.  
“When it’s done.” He says simply.  
“That will be a very long time.” I realized sighing a part of me wished he could hold Robb in one arm and me in the other as Brandon did with Elia and his son. That was not Ned though, it was hard enough to get affection in private I doubt he would ever show it to me in a public place although being here made me think of our wedding night. The only time he had to show affection in front of people, though that was duty. Affection came later in the dark of the night.  
I walked toward him and put my hand on his shoulder. “I won’t see you for a very long time.” I told him softly.  
He paused for the longest time and then turned back to the ground saying. “You and Robb are safer here till the moat is up and running, more comfortable too. Brandon will take care of you both.”  
“I had a very good talk with lady Stark today I think she too will look out for us.” I told him.  
“You ought stay away from her but I will not order you to.” He says evenly.  
“You do not like her very much.” I note.  
“Its not about liking her its about trusting her.” Ned says simply.  
“And you do not trust her?” I gather.  
“No not really.” He admits sticking the shovel into the ground and turning towards me. “Her moral code is too……..adaptable. It did not matter what it took to get her son here she would do it, lying, flattering, crying, batting her eyes at Brandon and I think much more if she had to.” He tells me quietly.  
I looked away annoyed by his words. “You would hate to know what I would be willing to do for Robb.” I told him.  
His hand brushed my hair getting my full attention our eyes locked. “Protecting her child is not it Cat.” He says in his northern tone. “It’s what else she is willing to use her power over Brandon for.” He said I never thought of that, but I did not think Elia particularly devious.  
“Her son is the heir to the Targaryen throne, what if she decides to make him king and what if she does not want him to go to the watch when he turns 15, what if she gets Brandon to waste northern lives on the effort?”   
“I do not think you should make an enemy of her.” I told him I watched his eyes for anger but there was none.   
“Go on.” He encourages.  
“How many times have you gone against her? How many times has it worked? Brandon hit you the last time.” I reminded.  
“Only the last he knows about.” Ned says to my frustration.  
“She is not an unreasonable person. You can talk to her, or I can if you would rather should something go wrong.” I promised my hand went to her heart. “The blood of house Targaryen is on all our hands Tully, Arryn, Baratheon, Stark. I may only be a woman, but I know we cannot risk any Targaryen ruling again.” I told him softly but I thought this woman could be an ally and she showed no interest in a crown so far, but I would have to watch for it.  
“No, you are not just a woman Cat.” He promises and my heart flutters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is kind of short. It's interesting getting Catelyn's thoughts on everything especially Elia. I also think this chapter explains why Ned and Elia cannot seem to get on the same page. And shows Ned is not just being an asshole he is cautious for a reason.
> 
> So I kind of know the full layout of this story. Largely due to Wintercameandwent I have been thinking about writing a second story about Elia and Brandon as well As Jon, Aegon and Rhaenys when the kids are older probably GOT time. Would you guys be interested in that because I think it would be really fun (At least for me.) Thoughts?
> 
> Thanks so much for reading please let me know what you think in the comments.


	17. Leaving

**Chapter 17: Leaving**

I try not to stare as Catelyn and Ned said their goodbyes. She was crying I supposed that was actually a good sign. It meant that she would miss him. They seemed to be getting along better.

“I have to go.” He tells her she’s holding onto him and crying but he is still, I want to yell kiss her you idiot but know how Ned would take that. Affection makes Ned uncomfortable. And my pushing makes him angry. He backs out of her embrace he says something quietly to her. Elia gives me a nervous glance we seemed to share the same hope that whatever he said was sweet. He pats his sons head before walking towards me. Catelyn cannot stop crying and Elia leaves my side to go comfort her. Now jut Ned, Benjen and I stand together at the gate of Winterfell the three sons of house stark now grown to man.

“Our wives being friends will either be very good or very bad for us.” I tease him but he has his serious face on.

“Smile Ned I am making you a lord.” I told him.

“Be careful.” He says.

“You as well, try and smile while your away you might like it.” I tell him.

“I’m going to miss you Ned.” Benjen says as he hugs Ned tightly Ned softens slightly in Benjen’s embrace.

“Mind Brandon.” Ned says simply.

“You don’t.” Benjen grumbles getting nudged by me.

“Yes, I do.” Ned told him and I had to stop myself for disagreeing. “I am guarding the moat from our friends in his name.” Ned says loyally but those cold eyes flash on me and I know he thinks defense of the moat a waste of time. Hoster Tully was his father by law and the king was his dear friend but the north could not only be safe for Ned and his family it had to be safe for everyone’s families including mine. For little Aegon and spunky Rhaenys and my lovely wife they deserved to feel safe too. I knew it was the effects of the great joy I felt from Elia’s declaration of love for me but even still I was too fucking happy to let him piss me off.

“He’s the best man for the job.” I said Ned did not smile but he nodded in appreciation of those words. It was true after all though we quarreled, he had good connections in the neck, he was a man other men would follow, and most of all I knew no one else was as loyal to house Stark then Ned. Look at what he was willing to do for Lyanna even after what he knew about her no matter how flawed she was she was his sister and a stark and he was willing to ruin his life for her. Unlike Lyanna I would not ask him to. He could be happy with Catelyn and their children at the moat. We would surely get along better with hundreds of miles between us and mayhaps in time we would miss each other and be as we once were, the brothers who slept in the same nursery and were constant companions.

“Benjen why don’t you go-“ Ned starts but Benjen interrupts.

“Be somewhere else so the two of you can decide how to run house stark in peace?” He sighs tired of feeling left out.

“Probably more like fight without you to stop us.” I say making Benjen smile but Ned frown.

I put my hand on his shoulder as he went to walk by. “I expect you to be my right-hand man at Winterfell now Ben.” I told him and he shook his head happily.

I watched him go pick up Aegon in one arm and Jon in the other while Rhaenys whined at him until he bent down and let her on his back.

“Mayhaps he is a boy.” Ned says.

“He is going to be the best of us, mayhaps he already is.” I told Ned looking back at his dower face.

“Don’t hit me.” He says and I smile.

“Don’t make me.”

“You were always meant to be the lord of Winterfell and I think you have it in you to be the best lord of Winterfell but-“

“I once had a grumpy brother who said everything after the word but is horseshit.” I mused.

“Make sure you’re the one ruling the north and not her.” He says not one to mince words I grab his shoulder and make a fist that pulls back before I can stop it. Ned lets me unwilling to fight his liege lord.

It’s Catelyn’s gasp that makes me stop, it reminds me his wife and child are here and even if we are not married, I once promised Tully to be good to his daughter. Instead I embrace Ned though I am still angry.

“I’m glad we are brothers Ned, or I think one of us would have killed the other by now.” I tell him in his ear before pulling him away. “Safe travels brother.” As I walk away.

Elia gave me a stern look as she held Catelyn, but I gave her a wink to tell her I knew what I was doing and she smiled ever so slightly. Benjen had a furrowed brow as he came up next to me.

“You actually were going to fight?” He asked annoyed.

“It was an educated guess.” I told him before giving him a long looking and stopping before going any closer to Winterfell. “Should I say goodbye to you as well?” I asked Benjen to his surprise.

“Where would I go?”

“Well you’re a man, if you want to join the watch it’s your choice.”

“I thought you did not want me to.”

“I don’t it’s a waste of a very valuable resource of our house but I won’t keep you here against your will.” I told him.

“You mean it.” Benjen askes softly.

“Ill send you with a good horse and some gold.” I told him simply.

He looked at Elia before looking back at me. “I think I’d rather stay you and Ned’s brothers then theirs, even if I cannot tolerate you to most of the time.” He said making me laugh I hit him on the back.

“Good Man!” I declared.

In the coming days Winterfell is at peace. Elia and I are happy waiting for this ridiculous peace treaty event to be planned.

A peace washed over Winterfell in the coming months. Only little things take place, Rhaenys has her nameday and I let her eat pudding instead of proper food for dinner. Rhaenys was not the only one growing. Aegon was getting bigger and needed new clothing new boots I was told he would grow into but watching him fall and stumble was harder than I thought it would be. Jon no longer needed a wet nurse he was eating solid foods. I knew Elia was smart but how she managed to get Jon in our bed was beyond me but now when we went to bed both Aegon and Jon where there.

I did not really mind it made Elia happy, I noticed that her once rare smiles were now common but no less glorious. Elia and I were both happy and in love. When we fought, we talked it out, I held my temper and she was open and honest with me. Although in all honesty we did not fight often we had a like mind about many things and were willing to listen to the other ideas when we did not. Elia and I were happy.

I already knew she was happy and felt safe with me I even knew she loved me but then came the day I realized she wanted me it was just as trouble brewed between the mountain clans and the question of whether or not we should take the men into the mountains to solve it or let them settle their own matters, and long into Jon and Aegon sleeping into our bed.

She came into my study because we needed to discuss the books of Winterfell building another castle was a strain on any house even ours. No, we were not the richest house, but my father always said we were the strongest. Instead of buying everything Ned could lead the men in cutting down trees and making cinder blocks instead of having someone else, but we had to pay for the labor and some supplies. Luwin and I already did this, but I knew Elia had a better mind for numbers then either of us and I wanted her opinion.

“This first Harvest will keep everything going, but I still do not think you should have to finance this alone.” She tells me.

“Its not me feeling bad for my brother, I am making him do this. The wall protects us from the North. Moat Callign protects us from the south and it has not been properly manned in generations, it’s fine if er knoe they are coming and have time to man our fort but if we are unaware…it could be a deadly error.”

“You would not know a southern army was marching south?” She asks with a mischievous look. She was witty but I was not worried about an army sneaking up on us. I was worried about a king deciding he no longer was going to overlook the existence of the heir to house Targaryen. The thought occurred in my mind lately. That Robert’s kindness could be temporary, and he could come for Aegon any time he wanted. Not knowing or caring that he finally felt safe at Winterfell, that he no longer cried when his mother left the room, that Catelyn and Elia worked so hard to teach him to say _my lord_ and _my lady_ and keep him from being wild but he still called me Stark. OR that I loved when he called me Stark. I loved him and Rhaenys and I would not let them be taken. I saw no reason to frighten Elia with threats only happening in my mind.

“Well mayphaps your married to a paranoid man.” I teased.

“I am aware.” She promises.

“I know it seems-“

“You do not have to explain it.” Elia promised walking to my side of the desk she smoothed out my hair as she said. “I support you and your decisions.”

“I am not saying Winterfell should not be paid back of the course of some years but now-“ I started her eyes are on me but she is not hearing me.

“Elia?” I ask she is startled out of her momentary state.

“Apologies my love.” She says sweetly I wanted to ask what so captured her attention but I thought I should continue our business so she could go be with the children after all one of us should be happy.

“You do not need to apologize.” I promised I more then anyone understood how tedious this all felt when something was happening in the north I felt I should be apart of it but I was trying not to be rash and instead be wise like my father. It was exaughsting but seeing Elia even if it was just to run winterfell with her was a great weight off my chest. I was sure my stubborn brother would go at it alone at first but I hope he realizes how hard that is and how nice it is to have a partner you trust in your wife as I had in Elia. “Anything else we need to discuss?” I asked.

“Benjen wants to learn how to lance.” She says after thinking a moment.

“No.” I say simply I had ridden in a tourney before but now I knew how stupid it was and did not want it for my little brother. Really, I didn’t want any starks south of the moat for longer then necessary, we belonged in the north. Elia did not seem to mind my quick dismissal she had no love for tourney’s either they seemed to bring a sour taste to both our mouths. “Should I tell him?”

“I will let him down gently.” She tells me wisely I would just say no so she is probably right to handle it.

“Oh, and Lady Donella wrote me asking if we would foster her good sister, apparently Lord Hornwood does not want her out of the north but Donella wants her to have southern manners.” She explains.

“She’s a bit old… I think?” I said not quite sure the last time I saw her she was young, but it had been a while ago.

“I think in truth they want her at Winterfell due to its closeness to Torrhens square, they are squabbling over the dowry but they want her to marry Lord Talharts second son and with all this talk of trouble in the mountains they would like her close to her destination instead of a long journey.” Elia says with a shrug she was truly brilliant.

“It’s your choice.” I tell her Elia would end up taking care of the girl so she should decide.

“I think it’s good.” Elia assures. “One move to please houses Hornwood, Manderly, and Talhart.” She says wisely.

“Alright then.” I agreed the matter settled and we could go on with are days Elia could go on to happier less tedious things and I would still stew about the mountain troubles when I felt her hands on my shoulders massaging my sour muscles I had not realized just how tired I was until my eyes close. “Gods that feels good.” I admitted.

“I know your mind is heavy and you have so much troubling you, and I want to help anyway I can.” She promises leaning around to kiss the side of my temple she seemed to pause there for a moment. I turned to look at her.

“Is everything alright love?” I ask her there was something I could not quite place in her eyes.

“I miss you.” She admits softly at first, I do not grasp what she’s telling me until she adds.

“I miss your kiss and...” She admits nervously moving her hair back as she forces herself to look at me though she blushes. “I miss your touch.”

I am startled to silence for once in my life. I have been so busy with the mountains and two little boys slept in our bed, though my best efforts I could not impregnant her, I never thought my elegant wife would want me so. I pulled her into my arms.

“I cannot pretend I am not a little pleased that you have given me some thought while I stay in this room until the late hours thinking of little else besides you.” I whisper in her ear one hand going up her rib cage the other down her thigh.

She makes this wonderful wanting gasp as my hand gets to her breast, she leans back against me her head rests on my shoulder she looks up at me the look in her eyes was beautifully full of desire. One of her hands toys at my shirt him line slipping under it to feel my abs her fluttering hand against me makes me want to let out a needy growl. The other plays with the string of my collar. I was trying to decide how far I should allow this to go. Elia may have admitted she liked how I touched and kissed her but that was not exactly an invitation to maul her in my study.

“I dream of you at night. I was worried you were already tired of me after only a year.” She says softly theirs a smile on her lips but fear in her eyes.

“Never, would you like me to show how never?” I asked seconds from her lips.

“Please do.” She says softly and I could not hold back a moment longer kissing her deeply though it has been awhile our bodies know each other and react as such.

Only someone loudly walking by my door stops us. I Pick her up and set her on my desk before going to the door and bolting it shut. When I look back Elia has organized all of my scattered papers putting them neatly away in my desk drawer it made me chuckle as I returned to her kissing her forehead and then her nose and lips before moving down to kiss her jaw line and neck before getting down on my knees pulling her skirts up her legs went over my shoulders as she knew exactly what I was doing. Elia’s noises were quiet as I worked usually I would not allow for that but I assumed she did not want to get caught, I couldn’t really care if they knew what we were doing but Elia was a lady and I tried to respect that even being the heathen I am. I know exactly how Elia likes it now, my tongue running slowly against her most delicate area as Elia squirmed in the most wonderful way my hands went to her hips stilling her before I began sucking at the center her pleasure Elia got noisy but her sounds were muffled she soon found her climax.

She was breathing heavy, but a curious look appeared on her face. “Would you like me to do that for you?” She askes and my cock reacted to her words almost painfully spasming with need. Her lips is puffy and red already from her biting it and the idea is almost to much to bare but I shake my head as that little moral voice in my head reminds me Elia is not a whore she is my wife. “That’s very sweet love, but princesses don’t do that.”

“Oh.” She says simply she unties my trousers I stare for a moment thinking how I got so lucky with her she was beautiful, kind, wise, and so sweet. I could not pick a better wife if I had. She began looking up at me expectantly.

“I love you.” I tell her kissing her swallowing the scream as I push into her trying to maintain a gentle pace she kisses at my neck and pulls off my coat before pulling my shirt over my head. She left kisses against my body. I had one hand on her hip the other toyed in her hair her arms were flung around me holding onto me I felt her heart beat and her uneven breath locked in a tight embrace I began speeding up with each thrust Elia bite into my chest as she came. That fact Elia was biting into my chest rushed my own orgasm. I steadied myself against the desk for a moment her hold on me loosened and she was going to flop down against the desk my hand grabbed her laying her down there gently. We just finished but watching her laying on my desk with a satisfied smile and heaving breasts with those beautiful lidded eyes looking up at me. She reaches for my help getting up.

“You don’t need to get up.” I promise her

“But I know you are not done yet husband.” She says happily.

“No but that does not mean you have to get up.” I tell her pulling at the ties of her dress until the top opens my hand going into her dress to cup her breast my thumb makes circles around her nipple and she arches into my touch. “You’re a wonder to be hold just as you are.” I tell her she blushes at my words.

“I have such a sweet husband.” She muses.

“Not sweet, not when I want to fuck my lovely wife with abandon.” I admit.

“Mayhaps she wants you to _fuck her with abandon_ mayhaps she likes any way with you.” She says her hips wiggle in the most seductive way and my hands are pulling at her thighs moving them back apart and moving between them and pushing into her hard moving out and slamming back in, I watch her for any sign she does not want this but it never comes instead Elia is trying not to scream in pleasure she arches her back and wraps her legs around me to keep me closer, the pace is fast and hard this time. Curse words spew from my mouth in little growls while Elia is writhing and whimpering below me, I bend over her kissing and biting at her mounds her hands wrap around my neck keeping me close as I trust into her hard. Elia comes like this and I watch the bliss on her face I let her ride it out before pulling her arms off me pushing her down against my desk holding her wrists tightly to the desks. I was going to ask if this was alright, but her hips are bucking again and she lets out the most wonderful moan.

“Brandon-ahah” She starts I kiss her to keep her from screaming as she comes a little mercy for my beautiful wife. I am not far behind her with a growl. As soon as it’s over my softness for Elia returns like I was able to take out all my pent-up frustration and felt better now. Elia panted struggling to catch her breath with tired eyes. I kissed her lips, her nose, her head before getting the discarded towel brought with the breakfast I did not eat and cleaning up before fixing her clothes then mine noting when I went to put on my shirt that Elia really truly bite me.

I sat in my chair and pulled her into my arms she nestled in against me

“I cannot believe we had sex in your solar.” She mumbles tiredly my chest.

“I cannot believe you bite me.” I laughed.

“I am sorry.” She says softly nussling against my chest.

I kiss her head. “Don’t be I wildly enjoyed it.”

“I really should stop bitting people.” She mutters.

“Who else have you bitten?” I asked surprised by her tired musings.

She looks up at me. “Well when Ser Loch took Aegon from me I tried to go after him and Ser Jamie grabbed me and stopped me and I couldn’t get away and I don’t really remember doing it but I sort of bite him and ran after my baby. “She says embarrassed.

“I did not think it was possible to love you more.” I told her pulling her back against my chest, she fell asleep cuddled into me while I happily thought about Elia trying to protect her child like a mother wolf. I remembered Jeor Mormont gave me a spear he had taken back from the war of the penny kings when I was two years old, my mother wanted to beat him with it. Father is the only reason she did not, but she still scolded him so harshly my father would always say with a proud little smile my mother was the reason Jeor Mormont gave up women and joined the watch. When I pouted at the lost spear my father would say _“You cannot be angry at your mother for protecting her pup, that what mama wolves do.”_

I let Elia sleep on my left shoulder careful to only move my right arm. When reaching to the desk drawer to see how neatly Elia had put away my Raven scrolls most of my lords wrote about the mountains being dangerous and remote, they did not want to send men to the mountains when they wanted them in the fields, they did not quite think of the mountain clans as houses of the north as they were, but they were just like the others lords they were sons of the north and as lord of Winterfell I was their father. I had to protect them like my mother or Elia would protect their children. Even if I was protecting them from themselves. If my lords were not allowed to fight neither were my mountain clans even if I had to push their heads together and tell them to get along like my father would tell Ned and I if he saw us now.

I pulled out a piece of parchment and grabbed an ink well and quill.

“Brandon.” Elia mumbles softly clutching my shirt.

My heart aches at the thought of having to be far from her but I had to lead by example. I wrote my proclamation to be copied and sent out, I would not leave all the north defenseless and I had great need for the crops, the boarders had to be maintained from wildlings and iron born. I decided Lord Bolton would be the one to come into the mountains with me we needed to talk as it were.

“Your leaving.” Elia said softly still have asleep as she read my raven scroll.

“We won’t be apart long.” I promised. ”I have too.” I told her.

“I know.” She says softly.

In the coming days we prepare to leave Lord Bolton began answering my raven scrolls after I threatened to march my men to the Dreadfort first and hang him for an oath breaker. Suddenly he was an excellent correspondent.

I spend a lot of time in the nursery when I can, watching Aegon, Rhaenys, and Jon. They have no idea they are all siblings, but they play as such. Rhaenys is so sweet with Jon. As independent as she already is she has her mother’s good heart. She spends her days caring for her snow birds and all the tomcats she finds. Mean old tomcats that bite the shit out of everyone else but love Rhaenys and let her feed them scraps and wear the bows she makes. As well as riding her pony as much as she can. I do not think there is an animal that would not love Rhaenys.

Jon looked more like a Stark every day with his dark hair and brown eyes. He is such a happy baby, but he loves no one more then Elia who holds him all the time, he would not even crawl until once when Elia moved away from him and he had to crawl after her. Elia once admitted in the dark on the night if not for Hoster Tully she would ask me to have Jon naturalized so we could raise the next lord of Winterfell together as our son. Hoster Tully would have a fit which would be rather enjoyable but there was Catelyn to consider after all she was promised she would be Lady of Winterfell and neither Elia or I wanted to take that from her.

“Stark!” Aegon’s voice cried moving me away from my thoughts. He came running into my arms.

I pulled him up onto my lap. “What’s wrong Silver.” I asked combing my hand through his hair watching his teary purple eyes. His eyes may have been colored like that of his fathers, but he had big doe eyes like his mother.

He showed me his wolf statue at first he was confused by it but one night I held him in my arms and told him that this statue was the sigil of my house and just like me it would protect him. He since carries it everywhere. Myla and the other girls painted it for him, and he shows me the patch of scratched paint since Jon had banged it on the floor.

“Oh it’s alright, you know your mommy says scars show strength and survival.” I told him he only pouts.

“Does wolfie hurt?” He asks sweetly.

“No wolfie doesn’t hurt. Wolfie does not mind scars.” I promise and feel his little hand run across the thick scar tissue on my throat, the rope burn that would never subside.

“Does it hurt.” The little Targaryen askes.

“It us to but not anymore, I don’t mind scars either, I’d get a thousand more to keep you, Rhae, Jon, Ben, and mommy safe.”

“Weally?” He asks astounded.

I smile taking the wolf from him. “Really, ask your mommy if you don’t believe me. When something goes after a wolfs pup we bite back.” I say before poking him with the toy making bite noises until he was giggling hard long forgetting his tears.

“I believe you Stark.” Aegon says softly.

“Good silver.” I tell him. “You know mommy and Benny are in charge of Winterfell while I am gone, but I want you to take care of Jon and Rhaenys, Robb too.” I tell him.

“Why?”

“Because you’re the oldest brother just like me.” I tell him. Elia comes in.

“It’s time for bed tell lord Stark goodnight.” Elia says picking up Jon.

“Goodnight Lord Stark.” Rhaenys says as she runs over and gives me a kiss on the cheek, and I kiss her head.

“Goodnight Stark.” Aegon says getting a partly annoyed partly amused look from his mommy. He does not notice kissing my cheek. “Goodnight silver.” I say as Elia brings Jon over.

“Give them night kisses.” She tells me.

“Fine, but only while their little and cute it ends when they start looking like men.” I tell her kissing both their heads while she giggles.

“Aegon can you show Lord Stark how you took your naps today?” Elia asks oddly putting Jon in his cot instead of our bed we whined immediately. Aegon smiles and nods running to the cot. Aegon climbs up the cot getting into it with his brother. Jon stops whining as Aegon lays down with him. I walk over and give Aegon his little wolf.

“As long as he sleeps next to Jon, he is fine.” Elia says with a shrug and I understood many times when I was scared I forgot about it when I felt like I was protecting my sibblings. Elia kisses both of them before we go put Rhaenys in her bed.

“Your leaving in the morning.” She askes softly though she knows I am.

“You’ve been going to all my meetings and your smarter than me you will have no problems while I am gone. I will leave early so we can meet the Bolton force. I don’t want a big goodbye I’d rather you and the children slept.” I admitted and she nods.

“So this will be our last night together for a while.” she says softly.

“Are you going to tell me about your dreams so I can make them come true.” I whisper watching the blush appear on her face.

“If you’d like.” She says softly to her great surprise I pick her up.

“Brandon what are you doing!”

“You walk slow.” I tease as I carry her towards our chamber door.

“Your back!” She protests.

“Is fine now.” I tell her it pains me sometimes, but I don’t tell Elia that.

She laughs as we enter our chambers. I was happy to carry her to our bed but she begins to get down and I let her.

“Would you like some wine?” I ask her. She shakes her head softly.

I begin to undress taking off my coat and shirt, I want to leave her with a wonderful memory of me but as soon as she speaks, she leaves me with a glorious one. Words cannot describe how her words make my heart soar.

“I want you to take me from behind.” She says softly looking at the ground she looks up at me with those eyes I adore. “Like wolves.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of smutty this chapter. What can I say it's Brandon Stark.   
> Fought with myself about the slight time jump but it was necessary to move the story along.  
> It seems unimportant this chapter but it's the start of alot.  
> Please let me know what you guys think I adore all your comments! Thanks for reading!


	18. Love

Chapter 18: Love

He leaps forward pulling me close his mouth crashes on mine like waves my mouth opens to his in a desperate moan Brandon takes the opportunity to advance sticking his tongue in my mouth in complete and utter domination of my mouth that makes my heart swoon.   
“You are the most wonderful wife I could ever ask for.” He says sweet words that come out more as a growl. He turns me by my hips and pulls me close, so my back is against his chest. He rubs against me softly showing me how ready he is. He undoes my corset ties he has large hands, but they can be very nimble when it comes to unlacing corsets as he brings his mouth to my neck kissing and sucking at every inch making me lean into his touch. My dress is loose, I scramble to be free of it and he helps me. The garment drops to the floor. His hands move across my body as if memorizing how I feel.  
“Brandon!” I moan as his fingers move between my legs and dip inside of me. He groans feeling how wet I already am. I reach back grasping his neck to steady myself as he pumped his fingers in and out of me. My legs buckle and strain as I get closer. Brandon’s other hand goes around my waist keeping me in place as a wave of heat washes over me, I lean back crying out as I come. I had not realized he picked me up until I felt my toes curling fluttering about just above the floorboards. Even after he put me down, he held me in a tight embrace while I regained composer in a warm loving embrace.  
“I love you.” I tell him softly hugging onto his arms.  
“I love you too.” He promises kissing my head repeatedly until I am softly giggling after a moment his hands move back to my hips pulling on them and I move out of his embrace.  
“Undress first.” I tell him he is annoyed at any delay but does as I asked he would rather just undo his breaches but I liked seeing him besides I was growing comfortable being naked in his presence he would do the same I wanted him to anyways. I ran my hand acrossed a scar on his chest getting a grim look in return.  
“They do not bother me.” I remind.  
“No?” He askes.  
“No I have told you before your scars are a part of you they tell the story of how brave you are how you survived.”   
“I know but it sounds so pretty on your sweet tongue I wanted to hear it again.” he says softly.  
“I will remind you for the rest of our lives.” I promise.  
He moves towards me.  
“Wait.” I tell him.  
“I don’t like waiting I want you.” He pouts it makes me smile he would like this I was determined he would. I backed onto the bed sitting down gesturing for him with a wag of my finger he happily came but froze when I put my hand around his hard member.   
“I have been thinking about what you said a few days ago.” I tell him with a devious smile. “I decided you were deeply underestimating princesses.”  
I had not much experience with such things Ashara spoke of it once but was scolded for it. I moved forward leaning down kissing the tip and slowly engulfing it. Brandon's breathing and cursing were acratic. His hand went atop mine moving it against his shaft reminding me to continue to do so as I slowly moved him further into my mouth his hands were tightly fisted into my hair the cursing had stopped only the heavy breathing remained as though he was in the heat of battle. I looked up at him and we only held eye contact for a moment he made a growling noise. “Enough.” He breaths out hard his hands are gentle as they slowly moved me off him.  
“Why?” I pout as he gains somewhat composer his eyes are wild and dark with lust.   
“Because I need you. Hands and knees baby.” He says in a husky wonderful voice.   
I turn over on the bed getting onto my hands and knees. Not a moment longer and he has a hold of my hips pushing inside of me making me cry out and odd string of sounds with no meaning besides utter pleasure his pace is pounding fast and hard.   
“Brandon-“ I pant out and he thrusts harder making me cry out. The warmth is pooling inside me it won’t be long.  
“Call for me again.” He almost growls. “Come on Elia I need to hear you.”  
“Brandon! Brandon!” I cry out I look at him over my shoulder how wonderful he looks and is I think as I feel the surge of my organsm. My head jerks forward as I pant and try to regain I go down onto my elbows tiredly the only reason I don’t collapse entirely is Brandons hands on my hips tight enough to bruise holding me in place. This new angle has us both inticed I cannot stop the moans that pour from me and Brandon is howling and growling like he is a wolf.   
His pace speeds but I whine as if to tell him I am not ready for him to stop, I’m close but need a little more time. His hand moves just above where we are connected roughly rubbing between my folds.   
My whole body shutters as I come.  
“Good girl.” He mutters now rutting as he pleases soon finding his own bliss. He pulls my hips back far as he can so he is buried inside me when he comes. I collapse onto the bed moments after Brandon lies next to me and pulls me close as I pant.  
“I love you Elia. You were a stranger now you are my world. I promise I will always try and do right by you. I want you to know the only reason I will ever leave is for the good of my people and land, but I will always return you have my word as a Stark. As your husband.” He whispers into my ear before kissing my check he get up and even tired I panic he chuckles kissing me. “I will be right back.” He promises. My eyes flutter closed.  
When they open again Brandon has his arms wrapped around me. He kissed my forehead when I look at him.  
“You should be asleep; you have a long journey.”  
“A long journey where we will move at the pace of snails, I can sleep on blizzard’s back if I must.” He says with an easy shrug.  
“Where did you go” I ask he has trousers on.  
“Your going to think your married to a very weak-willed man.” He teases.  
“You are a lot of things weak willed is not one of them.” I promised with a giggle.  
“You too.” He says kissing me gently. “I just went to check on the children, Aegon is not used to sleeping alone and Jon is so little. I could not go see the boys and not check on Rhaenys.” He said and I smiled.  
“I had no idea I was married to such a sweet man.” I muse kissing him softly.  
“I am going to miss you all.” He admits.  
“We will miss you too.” I promise.  
“It’s odd to think we were strangers and now you are my whole world.” He told me. “You and those children of yours.”  
We held each other until the early hours sleeping on and off but neither of us truly slept.  
He said their was no need but I got dressed and saw him off. Benjen was waiting in the yard with his horse they had a man to man talk before it was time.  
“Promise me two things?” I ask taking his hand.  
“Anything.” He promises.  
“I know you must give punishment as you see fit but promise me you will spare the innocent and that you will return to me.”   
He takes my hand and kisses is like a knight from a poem or song. “I swear.” He smiles unable to hold back he pulls me into his arms and kisses me hard. I watch him leave Winterfell with his men   
Time seems to druge on slowly after he leave like every day is longer yet more days do go on and he does not return. Soon days become weeks.

I woke alone as I did everyday in the large bed. I slept on Brandon’s side it still smelled like him. I panicked when his cloak was not around me until I spotted it on the floor bending to pick it up bundling it up in my arms as if to embrace it. He was supposed to be back by now and he was not. I must have been a lovestruck fool because all I wanted was for him to be home.  
I still thought of our last night together, what passion a simply request could provide. The thoughts of it could still make me blush and long for him. I wondered if he missed me? Or if he had a tavern wench or tribe woman to keep him company.  
I tried to occupy my time with helping Benjen, the children, and my ever-growing relationship with Catelyn. Missing a husband was another thing we had in common and complained about often enough.  
“I am sorry to hear you miss your husbands.” Berena says to Catelyn and I as we walk through the glass garden’s. Catelyn and I share an approving glance Berena is a sweet, obedient girl with a kind heart. She snorts when she laughs which Catelyn is determined to train out of her.   
“It’s alright Brena, missing your husband means you have a good one who is kind to you.” I tell her even when I thought I loved Rhaegar I did not miss him when he was gone. I longed for Brandon to return it had been almost two long months now, I thought he would have returned by now the peace summit was all the while closer. it was hard for me to even be crossed at him for being gone so long when he left me with such a searing image in my brain that would come to me as I laid alone in our bed.   
Berena smiles she is a sweet girl and resembles her brother a bit she’s tall for her age with blondish brownish hair always neatly kept in two braids on either side of her head, her skin was pale and she had pretty orangish brown eyes. She arrived a moon turn after Brandon left.  
We indulge Berena’s questions about married life and having babies but its alone after we put our babies to rest that Catelyn and I confide in each other how terribly we miss our husbands though our experiences are very different Catelyn tells me how even in their bed chamber Ned is quiet never a man of words always actions.  
At first I would never dream to tell Cat about Brandon but we are very close now and I know she has all but forgotten her feelings for Brandon even admitting she thinks he is a bit too rough and brutish. I admitted I liked that about Brandon he could be a sex fueled savage one minute and sweetly tender the next. I missed him so terribly I ached. I told Cat I felt like I was becoming him throwing off furs and being hot all the time she giggled mentioning that would make Brandon grin.  
It was hard being warm and comfortable surrounded by loved ones while Brandon was no doubt in the could mayhaps fighting and we never heard a word.

The children missed Brandon too. Rhaenys would ask when he would return and why he was taking so long. Aegon would call Stark out when he heard boots in the hall or horses entering the gate and we shared disappointment when it was not him.  
The person taking Brandon’s absence hardest of all was Benjen who found he loathed being a lord. “Brandon makes this all look easy!” He told me desperately as we went over the books of Winterfell.  
“Brandon struggles in his own ways.” I promised get a look of disbelief from him.  
“Name one thing Brandon’s bad at.” He says crossed.  
“First impressions, humility, controlling his temper, controlling his mouth, should I go on?” I asked making him laugh a little.  
“You were the wrong person to say that too.” He admits but he is finally smiling.  
“Well I am married to him, I bet Brandon has a list of my bad qualities too.” I promised.  
“Is that what happens when you married?” He almost winces.  
“It’s not something done in anger, we just know each other well enough to know our weaknesses but we also know each other’s strengths and your brother has many of those too. He is Courageous, Bold, smart, strong, funny, kind, passionate, tender-“   
“You can stop their before you use any worse words then passionate and tender.” Benjen says he kind of shakes as he repeats them as if trying to repel the words, they are so gross. Making me giggle.  
“Come on we have been cooped up in the library to long lets go for a walk it will clear you head.” I told him.  
“I think it needs cleaned out after that.” He teases.   
We walk out into the yard Benjen remarks their might be a summer snow and the notion turned my stomach.  
“Brandon is settling Clan disputes and reminding them who they swore allegiance to and I am what? Looking over bills.” He says in frustration.   
“You are running Winterfell that is no easy task.” I remind. We see Catelyn, Berena and the children. Catelyn has Robb in one arm and the other holds onto Aegons hand. Berena holds baby Jon and Rhaeny’s has her arm Rhaenys thinks Berena is the most beautiful girl in the world and as I watched Benjen’s stare I see she is not alone in this.  
“Are you done already?” Catelyn asked use to having to entertain the children for hours.   
“No but I certainly needed a break.” I told her.  
“I could break everything.” Benjen says and Berena laughs and to Catelyn’s dismay snorts.   
“I was never good with numbers my maester was always so mean when I got them wrong, he finally said I wasn’t worth teaching, I wish he hadn’t I’d like to be better at them.” She admits softly.  
“Well I bet Benjen could help you, whether he admits it or not he’s got a mind for numbers.” I tell her.  
“That would be lovely.” She says sweetly.  
“Really?” He asked happily. 

Catelyn and I share a look without speaking we agree to write Donella after all nothings in writing and a third Stark is still loftier then a second Tallhart I wonder when I write the letter if this was the wise Woman’s plans all along. Berena is 14 and Benjen is 15 and while they get to know each other under our careful eyes. Catelyn and I talk of when the wedding could be.

Benjen is right and there is a summer snow. It’s a chilly summer day in Winterfell and I think of poor Brandon in the mountains. There is no sept in Winterfell and those gods have never answered me before. I find myself going back to the place where I was wed.   
I knelt before the tree once more. I did not know if I was doing this right but I prayed for the great glory of Dorne and the North, for Winterfell, Rhaenys, Jon, Aegon, Doran, Oberyn, Arianne, Mellirio, Catelyn, Robb, Benjen Berena, Luwin, Nan, Myla and the other girls a tear left my eye when I thought of Brandon. “Please watch over Brandon while he is far away from Winterfell keep him safe and have him return to me soon.” I asked opening my eyes to the trees familiar gaze unsure if it would do anything.  
All I could do was go on with each day all the while worried.  
“Be careful with Jon he is little!” I reminded as Rhaenys held Jons’ hands a he toddled with her they were so happy he was walking.  
“Up up!” Jon said it had been his first word he loved being held.  
“In a little bit Jon.” I said softly turning back to Catelyn. “Benjen is getting restless.”  
“He wants to go into the mountains after Brandon.” Catelyn said simply.  
“I understand the urge quiet well but endangering Benjen is not an option besides Winterfell is stretched thin as it is.” I reminded.  
“Should I write Ned?” Catelyn asked.  
I nodded deciding it was wise. I was about to speak when I heard the braying and galloping of horses as they entered the gates of Winterfell.  
“Go, I have the children!” Catelyn promised I did as bid hurrying down Benjen was doing the same as I when I saw him in the hall.  
“He’s back!” Benjen says ecstatically! We hurry out to the yard where Stark banners fly and I spot some recognizable men but not many and Brandon is nowhere among them, instead a different man gets off his horse and walks towards us.  
“Who is that?” I ask softly.  
“Lord Bolton.” Benjen says confused.  
“He nods his head to me before looking past me to Benjen as he removes his gloves. “The horses will need fed and the men surely Winterfell can accommodate.”  
“Well yes.” Benjen says confused.  
“Good lad, how old are you now?”   
“I-“ Benjen looks at me unsure what was going on.  
“Where is Lord Stark.” I ask getting his attention.  
“You must be Elia Martell.” He says sneeringly in a quiet haunting voice.  
“You may call me Lady Stark, where is my husband?” I ask in all the men I cannot see or hear him anywhere.  
He looks back to Benjen. “Is Ned’s son here?”  
“I am your liege lords’ wife, and I will not be ignored where is Brandon!” I tell him strongly.  
“Lady Stark asked you a question!” Benjen reminds happy to have my back.  
“Fine, I wanted to give you time Benjen, but Brandon is dead, I have sent for the new Lord Stark until he arrives it is my duty as the most powerful banner in the north to make sure everything runs smoothly till he gets here. Until such time as he arrives, I will take Benjen as my squire and place Robert Stark under my protection.” He says, he goes on, but I do not hear him. I feel sick.  
I hold onto Benjen’s arm in fear I will fall over I feel as though I am spinning and that I cannot catch my breath I keep seeing Brandon the way he looked in the Gods wood when we first married.  
“Do you know what this mean?” Bolton asks Benjen it is the first thing he’s said in a while I hear. Benjen is not looking at him I hope he pays him no mind. Roose sighs continuing. “You will go to Moat Callian, do you know how to deliver a lords justice, know friend or foe, know how to keep the moat?”   
“No.” Benjen says he is not really thinking of that at the moment he is just trying not to cry.  
Lord Bolton puts his hand on Benjen’s shoulder. “I will teach you.” He promises.  
Benjen looks at me with watery eyes. “When Ned gets back you can come live at the moat with me. Jon, Rhaenys, and Aegon I will keep you all safe.” He says softly.  
I could not talk of new lives or what comes next now. I looked at Lord Bolton with his moon like eyes.  
“Where is he what happened?” I softly asked the tears poor down my face.  
“Elia you don’t have to-“Benjen starts it’s sweet how he’s trying to protect me but I must know.  
“Inside perhaps.” Roose said as though he is annoyed, we have not welcomed him to Winterfell.  
Benjen nods his agreeance and that is all Roose will get from him. He offers me his arm and carefully I take it, he walks fast and has a firm grip on my arm.  
“The north must be strange to you.” Lord Bolton said.  
“No small talk, I want to know what happened to my husband.” I told him he nods but walks silently the rest of the way to Brandon’s solar, he walks right in unaware of the pain such thing could cause. He does not seem bothered at all instead he looks around. Benjen goes straight to get a drink like Brandon would I realize he is just doing his best impression of Brandon to keep the tears at bay. I could not keep my own tears poured down my face.  
“Elia.” Benjen said softly as he embraced me, I held him tight after all we both loved him.  
“All women can do at a time like this is grieve, they are the weaker sex. Men and boys have to act.” Roose says I glare at him. I’ve known men like this before.  
“Where is he!” I ask and I mean it to be the last time.  
“We had no way to transport him and keep him in one piece, I knew that lord Stark would have to be buried in the crypts so I left some men to watch over him and sent for others to bring a coffin and a horse to push it, at my own expense.” Roose says quietly but as though he were a great man for it.   
“We will see you get your money back.” Benjen said he too was annoyed by this.   
Catelyn is escorted in she’s clutching onto Robb who is a wiggly little taught trying to squirm out of her arms.  
“Lady Stark.” Roose greets.  
“Your lordship.” She says politely before looking to me. She goes and embraces me.  
“Lord Stark is dead, and we will not tell anyone further until the new Lord Stark arrives, plenty of people would like to take over the North while house Stark is weak and we cannot let that happen none of you can send ravens to anyone, I will take care of Winterfell and the starks until he arrives.”  
“Why you instead of Benjen?” I asked he was getting irritated with my objections.  
“Benjen is just a boy.” Roose reminds.  
“He is 15 and surely Luwin, Catelyn and I could-“  
“It was the last thing Lord Stark asked of me, lets try and not make his last pain words for nothing.” Roose said.  
“H-he suffered.” Benjen asked the tears poured from his eyes Catelyn was in utter shock and I thought I would throw up or pass out all I could do was slowly lower myself into a chair.  
“Greatly, but I had thought to keep it from you.” Lord Bolton says putting his arm around Benjen. “I will guide you now, so you know how to run the moat.” He says he studies little baby Robb as he squawks.  
He was quick to dismiss Catelyn and I thought she was lady Stark and I was the dowager lady Stark he seemed to believe he could order us around and Benjen was too heartbroken to notice I did not blame him I was heartbroken too. I sobbed and threw up and cried all through the night. Catelyn had offered to stay with me, but I instead asked her to care for my children. I could not face them right now. I wanted to be alone.   
I could not sleep in our bed, I decided I would give over the room to Catelyn tomorrow. Brandon was too here for me, we talked in here, fought in here, made love in here. It kept him alive for me like he would walk through the door kick off his boots try to come in quietly like he would when he was up late though quiet was never Brandon’s strong suit. He would get in bed and pull me into his arms. Kiss my head mumbling some apology about being late that would usually get long winded because Brandon loved the sound of his own voice and in that moment I could not think of anything I wanted more than for Brandon to talk and talk while I was trying to sleep, he could wake me up from a deep sleep and I would not mind.  
I pushed away the covers uncomfortably when I reach against my forehead surprised to feel the sweet there. I had never been hot in Winterfell and there was not even a fire lite in my chambers. I thought about the furs that always ended up on the floor in the morning. I wondered if I had been sick. But it had been going on for weeks and even before the news about Brandon I felt sick. My breasts ached but I thought it was because of the bleeding soon to start I sat straight up as I realized I had not bleed since Brandon left. My hand went to my stomach. Could it be that Brandon left a precious gift for me to remember him by? I thought about going to Benjen and telling him hoping it would give him the same bitter sweet solace I got from the thought. My hand tightened around my stomach. With the realization I could not tell anyone.  
The words Varys told me when he was trying to convince me to give him Aegon came to mind.   
“If you feared thieves would you let people know where a precious jewel was?”  
I would wait until Ned arrived to tell him. Ned and I were not the dearest friends, but I knew he would do right by my child and protect it. It was not thieving I feared but this Lord Bolton.  
He made me feel uneasy as I did in the red keep. I was so vulnerable back then a compliant young wife who was silent, obedient, helpless. Not this time, this time I would keep my children safe, I would defend Winterfell to the best of my ability. I found myself praying it was true that I really had his baby in my belly. Lord Bolton was lying about Brandon but it did not mean he was not dead. I would do everything I could to protect his child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well good news and bad news.....this chapter is a mixed basket.
> 
> This was almost two different chapters but I kind of wanted to keep the story moving. There are parts of this chapter I really like but I also really struggled with it. Anywho I would love to know what you think.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!


	19. Sharp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> This chapter is from Roose Bolton's pov so that alone is a warnings.
> 
> Talk of violence,rape, torture no really graphic details but I wanted to give the warning.

Chapter 19: Sharp

I was sure Brandon’s wife would be a meek woman. After all she was a widow twice over and her side lost the war. Yet here we were a little more than a year into her marriage and she has adapted that Stark arrogant pride. She is a foreign woman but acts as though her opinion is as important of that of a man’s. Brandon endorses this sort of behavior in people, just another reason the north is better off without him. There has not been such a chance to unseat house stark in 100 generations. Brandon dead, Ned being dealt with. House stark left to a boy and a babe easy to be controlled.

No one deserved it more than Brandon the smuggest Stark to ever live. He thought himself so mighty to boss me around in the mountains till his head was smashed in, he never saw it coming for all his pride. He would never have thought anyone would dare kill him especially not his own bannermen. He spoke of her before she died. She might have the same end.

One day I am in the solar getting work done and she just walks in without invitation I would never allow my wife to do that unpunished.

“Dowager lady Stark, what can I do for you?” I asked patiently as I was able.

“Why has Ned not arrived yet.” The princess asked. She wore a black dress and kept a thick fur cloak around her like a Shaw she even pulled it close keeping it firmly to her.

“You do not understand the north or its weather, I am sure he is delayed.” I told her hopefully he was now permanently delayed like Brandon.

“I can look out a window the weather has been fair all week.” She bites back. She thinks herself so clever, she would not when the game is done and she gets what is coming to her.

“You do not understand the North or its vastness.” I told her with an annoyed sigh to tell her to leave she did not.

“How did my husband die.” She asked looking into my eyes her eyes were red with sorrow she had no idea how sorry she would be, poor dead Brandon was the least of her troubles. “You never said.” She adds pushing her hair forward.

He would be arriving soon with a bashed head the lie was an easy one for me to come up with. “He fell off his horse.” I say with no hesitation.

“He fell off his horse.” She repeats she shows no tears or sadness though she wept for him days on end.

“As I said.” I tell her annoyed I had no idea I lost her in that moment, not yet anyways.

She leaves the room without any goodbyes she just walks out. I have the urge to follow her and bash in her head as well. I restrain myself as the Dornish woman is none negotiable to Benjen I can usually sway him for the foolish youth he is but if I start to hint at sending her away Benjen gets angry and pushes me away and it takes me all the more while to get his trust. Her punishment would come later, mayhaps I would see what so enthralled Brandon there in his own bed.

Elia questions me on everything after that and Catelyn whines about writing her father and her husband which I keep denying which makes her whine more, shes better looking but still I cannot stand it, they keep this up four weeks and then I no longer see Elia around the castle as though she vanishes.

In the meantime, I look for Brandon’s whores but to no avail, I wonder if he was sleeping with the Catelyn Tully even though she married Ned, After all she was by far the fairest thing in Winterfell. And the Brandon Stark I knew could hardly keep it in his pants. He had to have whores and they would have his secrets he loved to hear himself talk enough that he would tell his whores everything. Yet as long as I look I find nothing, from what Barbery says he would not mind ridding off to them so that appears to be that.

Then to my great fortune I find three little maids with their laundry walking along the halls.

“Alys why do you and I have to tend to Lady Catelyn anyways, I miss lady Stark and sweet Rhaenys.” The youngest pouts none of them spot me and I am glad for it.

“Because Gara, Myla said so!” This Alys seems to say she is far too thin just as the girl she is talking to has a crooked face.

“Myla said so!” the little one says with fake authority.

“And when did nan die and make Myla in charge!” The crooked faced girl huffs.

The others only giggle and I step out from my hiding place they are scared and bow. Good, I think.

“I have not seen lady Stark in a few days, where is she?” I ask.

The skinny girl and the crooked faced girl look at each other nervously.

“We have not been allowed in the lady’s chambers past these weeks.” The skinny girl admits.

I look at the little one. “You have seen her, though haven’t you?” I ask she winces not a face for bluffing. She is the weak link.

“Brina is just a baby she does not-“The crooked face girl starts I silence her with my hand.

“You two go!” I tell them.

“But-“The skinny girl starts I slap her. She tumbles back holding her face.

“NOW!” I tell them and they hurry off I push the little one against the wall she is the most be coming servant girl mayhaps a little stark in her from another comely serving girl in her line.

I push her to the wall she starts squirming and crying and begging. “What is princess Elia hiding.” I ask her she just cries and begs even after I hit her, I decide to give her a reason to beg I move her dress up. When I see lady Elia with Rodrick and some of the Cassel boys.

“Get away from Brina now!” She orders me as though she is still someone important.

“You heard her Bolton!” Rodrick spats.

I move back and the girl runs into Elia’s arms.

“You should not be so friendly with the servants.” I note.

“You should not be trying to rape little girls.” She barks like she is still royalty.

“It happens!” I tell her with an easy shrug.

“Not in Winterfell, get out you are no longer welcome we will wait for Ned on our own!” She tells me.

“That is not your choice! Brandon asked me to protect his family when he died.” I tell her watching the guards faces turn in shock. I take their shock and questions as an opportunity to leave and meet up with my own guards. My servants tell me in the coming hours the princess has rounded up her servant woman, the children and Catelyn and Berena ladies of standing to all stay in her chambers until I am propelled out of the castle.

I decided to pay her a visit with my men but there is Benjen Stark at her door with his own guard. “You leave in the morning Bolton, if I were not a gentleman like you I would make you ride in this storm, I never want to see you in Winterfell again or I will have you castrated like the monster you are!” He tells me.

“You believe some rumor a Dornish whore starts over your own banner hav-“ I began to twist him but he won’t have it.

“How dare you Elia is my sister by law, she is a stark and a princess and she is twice as clever as you so walk away before I take your tongue!” He says pointing that sword at me.

Turns out he was not enough boy, so like a man he would have to die.

The Starks greatest weakness would always be there mercy. Brandon gave me mercy when I told him I did not answer his call because my son was ill, and now Brandon was dead. Oh, I had no doubt even battered as he was Brandon would have beaten me in a fair fight so I made sure to ambush him. I ambushed his little brother and widow as well but instead of a rock to the back of the head I let them think us leaving and had the men kill their guards as they ate breakfast. I am told they ran that Benjen Killed the man trying to grab Elia and they ran. A harrowing tale of them running for their lives and freedoms.

A weak Dornish girl and the pup of Winterfell fled the hall, that he grab her hand and pull her forward. They barred themselves in the nursery once they arrived. With the Hornwood girl, Catelyn Stark, Robb Stark, Brandons bastard and the Dragon spawn already there. When my men finally broke the doors covered with furniture only Benjen and Elia remained in the room no time for their own escape. It took the men far too long to figure out that the kitchen staff bellow helped them tear up boards and gladly took the children, then the hornwood girl and Catelyn with no time for Elia to escape so she and Brandon just put the rug back over the loose floor boards. The servants were still hiding them somewhere I was having the grounds searched and the servants tortured I would find them. In the meantime I had Benjen and the Dornish woman brought to me. As I sat in Brandon’s chair to their obvious rage.

“How dare you sit in his chair! He was twice the man you ever have been!” Benjen screams.

I can only smile.

“Be kind to me boy you live at my mercy!” I told him. “And I have never been very merciful.”

This alarms the Dornish woman, but she tries hiding it crossing her arms. “You cannot kill him; he is Rickard Starks son the north will hang you by your toes.

“Not when I control lord Stark.” I remind.

“Ned was never coming, was he?” She askes Benjen shouts and rages when he realizes it.

“Took you long enough, and they say you are so clever.” I tell her.

“Then you still cannot kill Benjen or else Robb will be the lord of Winterfell, but you will lose moat Callign.” She reminds.

“I bet it was hard to hide your condition, so you sent maids away keeping only those bullheaded enough to keep your secret or young and naïve enough to believe your lies. You protected all the woman and children, but an old woman thought she did not need your protection and stayed in her own rooms she had strong grandsons to protect her. They must have gotten their strength from her she did not talk until I began peeling the second boy.” I tell her in horror.

“Where is Nan!” Benjen screams.

“Don’t be rude Benjen did your dumb brother not teach you any manners, the princess is carry Brandons child, the next lord of Winterfell or with any luck a girl to marry Domeric or mayhaps I will take her myself.” I say watching her horror her hand flies to her stomach. I go over to her Benjen leaps forward but the guards hold him back as he kicks and screams I rip her cloak away to see her pregnant form she was trying t hide I grab her wrist tight enough to bruise keeping her near. As I put my hand on her belly.

“How much longer?” I ask she turns her head away from me with a sullen look and pouting lips I apply extra pressure to her wrist, but she will not give me the satisfaction of a reaction she is forcing herself not to she turns away looking out to the window but never does she cry.

Instead I turn and kick the boy heard and nod the guards join in she screams his name and tries to get to him I grab her. Benjen is down on the ground in a bloody heap. Terror is in her eyes.

“How much longer I ask again.”

“A little more then five months.” She says and I nod I could stand her for five more months especially once she learned my rules.

“You will learn to do what I say when I say for Benjen’s sake or I will peel off his skin. Little by little and when he runs out, Rhaenys and Aegon have more.” I tell her.

“Do you understand?”

“Yes.” She tells me I do not make her swear an oath Dornish never keep their word anyways. I consider showing her my authority those lips of hers were meant to suck cock, I would sit in her husbands chair while her loving little brother watched but she looked like she was about to faint as it was and I could not have this frail woman loose this child when I needed it.

“Take prin-take the Dornish woman to her rooms and lock her in them. She is to stay there until I call for her. Take the boy to a cell.” I ordered to the guards sitting back down in the large chair.

“You have lost.” I promise them as they are taken away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading sorry Roose is horrible. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think and thanks again.


	20. Mountains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter will cover most of Brandon's Pov during the time period of the last two chapters. Thank you for reading, sorry I know I am letting some of you down. I am really trying my best. Anywho thanks for reading and I would love to know what you think!

Chapter 20: Mountains

I fight the urge to open my eyes as I come to. I try to hear the voices around me but it’s all just noise at first. I don’t think I can move. The pain in the back of my head is to fierce I can barely stay with it. I press my ungloved hand against the snow to stay conscious. I do not know what happened, but I do know as I hear boots coming closer and strain to focus on the voices.

“Lord Bolton said to check and make sure he is dead.” One voice says.

“I did! I gave him four good kicks! Fuckers gone. “ Another man says explaining the pain in my ribs.

“When I seen a body, the eyes is open!” The first tells again.

“Bolton told some boy to make sure his eyes was shut all respectful like. If you want, I can poke some holes in him?”

I know my sword is missing and my dagger but they’re was a blade in my boot that seemed to remain there. If only I felt as though I could move.

“Lord Bolton says he’s to be whole when we cart him in.”

“Lord Bolton aint here!” The other says My eyes open to see the two men and their shock the closer one holding my dagger lunges forward mayhaps its adrenaline but I move quicker then him I grab the concealed blade and cut his throat the dagger drops in the snow next to me. I throw the knife into the other man’s eye as he charges forward. I fall back into the snow now alone. I breath heavy struggling to catch my breath and wincing from the pain off my movements.

I knew these could not be the only men out here and if nothing else I was alone in the mountains I had to move I had to do something, but my eyes closed and everything went dark. Ethan Glovers words flow threw my head.

_“Your Brandon Stark.” He says as we ride up into the mountains. “The Lord of Winterfell.”_

_“I am aware Ethan.” I tell him I did not ask him to come but my old squire joined us. It felt like a lifetime ago that I was going to marry a southern girl and ride in tourneys like a southern knight, now I would never leave the North if I could help it. Even here in the mountains it was beautiful and strong, and it was home._

_As I looked at the bit of Ribbon tied to my reigns I smiled, I did end up marrying a different southern lady, a woman instead of a girl and I would love her children. Rhaenys had given me the ribbon it was going to keep Blizzard and I safe on our journey._

_“Are you sure? Because the Brandon Stark I knew would have thought about bedding the woman so keen on him in that Tavern instead of drinking ale and eating dinner.”_

_“The Brandon Stark you knew wouldn’t have thought at all, he would have just had sex with them.” I tell him with a laugh._

_“And now you just think about it when women flirt with you?”_

_“No, I think about my wife and how much I prefer her and that I would not risk what we had something cheap and meaningless. You should marry Ethan it might bring out the best in you.” I tell him as we ride through the village, they stare at us as we come with pained faces but there is no resistance, they no why we are here and what they have done. It is the children I hear, first one but others join._

_“The snow falls down upon us_

_but we will thrive as long as blood dont spills_

_We fear no snow, hail, or gust_

_Only when the wolves come into the hills_

_For the wolves have laws we must follow_

_The wolves have laws they instills_

_The wolf’s words are not hollow_

_And whatever they swear they fulfills_

_If we do not obey, we will wallow_

_For the wolves have Steel for wills_

_So it’s the wolf’s oath we do swallow_

_Or they will come bringing the chills”_

_“The wolves come into the hills, a song all our children know if we do wrong the wolves come to set us straight.” Their chief calls I look back to see Lord Boltons scowling face before I dismount. I let gave him an ear full when we met up and he had been pouting the whole way since. He was not cute when he pouted like Elia._

_“Apparently you should have learned it better.” I told him he was Brandon Norrey but they just called him The Norrey he was their chief. He was born the same day as me a few months latter then I and named for me._

_“The Brandon please-“ He begins._

_“When I have to come up into the mountains to deal with your mess you will address me as Lord Stark!” I told him with a growl._

_He lowers a bit all the trouble he has caused, and he did not put up a fight when he saw the army coming apparently he was willing to dirty fight other mountain clans but not his liege lord._

_“Cregan Stark married a Norrey, were kin.” He reminds as a last attempt._

_“And my mothers’ mother was a Flint but that did not stop you from pillaging their land.” I remind._

_“I did not tell them to do that.”_

_“You did not stop them either.” I bit back._

_“It was a miserable spring as you must know, they were hungry. When one man has plenty and another has none he should share or expect a fight.”_

_“A fair fight mayhaps murdering people in their sleep and taking their supplies is not it! Just because you’re too proud to trade does not mean they are bad people it means the norrey need a new chief.” I told him._

_Justice was swift after that. There was little resistance and it was short lived. I executed Brandon Norrey a man who was named after me. The people did not weep for him he wasted their resources and was a terrible leader his brother was thought to be a better one._

_“The men who were responsible were found and brought to ice as well, hanging would have been quicker but with how many there were it would have taken a lot of rope._

_Bolton’s men pushed a boy towards me younger than Benjen but older then Aegon._

_“How old are you?” I asked him shaking he held up eight fingers._

_“He’s guilty.” Lord Bolton said uncaringly, the scolding I gave him on the way up the mountains did little to soften him._

_“And who did you kill?” I asked the boy who shook his head._

_“I ate the food.” He says softly trembling as he does it._

_“Go back to your mother.” I told him nodding and the guards let him past into a crowd where a weeping woman grabbed him up in her arms._

_Bolton’s white eyes stayed on me and I did not care I promised Elia I would show mercy to those who deserved it. I gave him a glare in return till he went back to work._

_I left Ethan Glover in charge in the mountains with most of my forces to keep peace between the clans after we leave to keep peace and help the Flint’s in their time of need. Which unfortunately meant I got to enjoy Lord Bolton’s company instead of a friend and because I threatened him with an inch of his life we rode in silence for the most part._

_“You’re a different lord then your brother.” He says I cannot bring myself to care or look at him I am already thinking about home, about seeing Elia again after what felt like an eternity._

_“So?” I ask uninterested already thinking of being in my love’s arms again. At this rate we would be back to winterfell in a matter of weeks I thought about little else, how once we were close I would charge ahead ride all night if I must to return to my love._

_“Different liege lords have to be served differently.” He says simply I hear steel being unsheathed before I can fully turn, I am hit in the head twice before I can move the pain makes me fall I hear Blizzards nay as I black out._

Now I lay in the snow and I think it would be easier to stop fighting but that is not who I am.

The plan was to head back up the mountain dangerous but the quickest way to help. I imagine my loved ones. Ned telling me the most strategic why to survive, Benjen saying if anyone could do it I could, Elia saying loving things in my ear, Rhaenys looking for Blizzard sure he will come back for me. Aegon just says “Stark” In that loving and hopeful way he does. Sometimes I see my father. I work so hard to be like him to lead like him and I am still failing. I don’t get far before I’m found by a Wull.

I convinced him to take me to his chief before killing me. Hugo Wull recognized me immediately.

“Bolton will pay for this!” Wull barked when I told him what happened as his medicine woman tended my wound.

“You should be dead.” The old woman said.

“That seems to be becoming a habit of mine.” I told her simply.

“Men with wounds like this die if not from the gash from the swell of it, yours did not swell. Why?”

“I don’t know, I don’t remember anything after the pain and I just woke up in the snow.”

“Mayhaps the north is not done with you The Brandon.” The Wull said almost proudly.

“I am not done with Bolton.” I growled. “Any news from Winterfell?”

“Nothing, at least not in the mountains.” The Wull promises.

“Well I must leave the mountains and I am asking you to come with me.” I said.

“Its my duty to follow house Stark, it is my honor to follow you, The Brandon who came to the mountains to right the wrong done here as though we mattered as much as the other houses.”

The Wulls have the greatest force in the mountains, we had to descend carefully to not look like an army moving. When I got to Hornwood I found Bolton did not have that problem.

“Yes the army passed by near here but it passed on your way up as well same Banners less men, I assumed you were with them.” Lord Hornwood had said. Lady Mormont had rushed out of the room the moment I walked in.

“And they went back to Winterfell your sure?” I asked.

“Yes, I am sure he is seizing power, I never would have thought it of him. Not because he is such a tender man, but he seemed more patient.” Lord Manderly muses.

It made me think about what he said about different lords, could I be the reason he was so desperate?

“STARK!” I heard and turned wide eyed to see Aegon running to me he happily jumped in my arms his sister not far behind him.

“Silver, Rhae!” I called as I pulled them into my arms and found myself smelling their heads and it did kind of comfort me or mayphaps it was just holding them in my arms.

I look up finally to see Catelyn with her boy, a young girl follows it takes me a moment to realize she is Berena Hornwood, she holds in her hands little Jon who whines and wriggles.

“Elia!?!” I asked sudden hope and rage that I was not taken to them at once all at once dashed when Lord Hornwood shook his head. “Mama!” Jon screams for her but she is not here.

“Will you bring her back?” Rhaenys whispers I don’t have the heart to answer I just pull her close and kiss her head.

“I will go speak with _lord_ Wull and get my men ready.” Lord Hornwood promises, his wife goes with him and Berena curtseys before handing me Jon and following her brother out.

I Bounce Jon remembering Catelyn thinks he is my son her blue eyes are fixed on me as I sit down pulling Rhaenys onto leg and then Aegon onto the other putting Jon against my chest I was tired but the children made me feel better.

She sits acrossed from me after a few moments. Rhaenys tries to calm Jon but it’s hardly any use. Aegon just happily stairs at me and Jon keeps whinning the person he wants is not here. This is the first time Catlyen I have really been alone together in sometime, but I cast that aside.

“What happened?” I asked.

“Lord Bolton came with stark banners he-“

“Manipulated Benjen.” I guessed and she nodded.

“Elia did not trust him.” Catelyn tells me.

No I thought Elia wouldn’t. But Benjen was lord while I was away and it was his call and he would trust our banner why would he not.

“Is she……..” I cannot finish the question it chills my bones thinking of him killing her.

“She was alive the last time I saw her. Boltons men stuck and we had to escape she pushed the children into my arms but she would not leave Benjen.” Catelyn admits.

I feel the tear on my cheek Catelyn and I both ignore it as it runs down my face.

“We thought you were dead.” She admits. “I thought you were dead again.” Something is soft in her blue eyes as she admits it like it broughtback all the night s she mourned for me in the past.

“I’m one tough fucker to kill.” I say I watch her nose scrunch as I cuss she always hated that.

“He tried to kill Ned too, or have him killed but Ned’s fine. He’s raising an army to take back Winterfell.”

“What!” I asked concerned.

“He will do it.” She assures. “He has the support of the north and my father.” She promises I kiss the children’s head one by one as I place them onto the floor before getting up.

“I know he can do it, so will Bolton and men like that don’t let their hostages go when they know they are beat.” I told her and she seemed to understand.

Aegon quickly clings to my foot. I pat his hair before saying. “I have to go silver.”

“DON”T LEAVE ME!” He cries waking his sister.

“I have to!” I tell him knowing he won’t understand.

“Where are you going? Your hardly in condition for a fight Brandon.” Catelyn chides.

“To go get hostages of my own. Bolton has a wife and a son he may not be a loving man, but he will not want his line to end and he took all his strength to Winterfell.” I tell her no clever smile or cocky grin this is the most serious I have ever felt I was not the wild wolf anymore I was the Direwolf of house Stark and I was ready to bring winter to Bolton.


	21. Honor

Chapter 21: Honor

We are all going to die I am sure of it now. I surrendered Winterfell to keep the people of Winterfell safe. Roose promised they would be safe but Roose is a liar. Elia had been right about him she warned me in the middle of the night that I could not let a bannermen tell me what to do and that I had to take control and remove him from Winterfell by force if necessary. I trusted my bannerman. I was wrong, I was the pup they all thought I was. Now we would die for my mistakes. I am alone with my thoughts shivering in the tower cell. Winterfell did not have large dungeons that is not how the kings of winter handled enemies. They made them friends and banners, or they made them bodies in the ground, neither which need cells. The few cells we did have now were full except mine which was left empty aside from me.

The cold wind rustled through the old stone. My teeth chattered in my corner. Nan was in the room next to mine with other girls. Sometimes she would tell the stories she told me as a boy sometimes she was so incredibly quiet I worried she was dead. Sometimes she just cried for her grandsons. Luwin and many other men I knew were in the cell on the other side. Luwin would give advice on staying warm.

I wondered if Brandon had been so cold when he died, or if it was swift. The Bolton guards had taunted me that when my brothers body arrived it would not be buried as the charade was over instead, they would put it in my cell. I tried not to cry no matter what they did I knew Brandon would not want me to cry.

I thought of Brandon a lot how bold and brave he would be. I thought of my father and his unwavering strength but how he would smile sometimes at Brandon or I’s jests. He loved us truly and he died for us. Brandon died for us in the mountains he was to strong and Bolton feared Brandon because he knew he was out matched by my big brother. My mother died bringing me into the world she died for me. Only Lyanna died selfishly, she died for her Dragon prince bringing his son into the world. Brandon could not understand why she did that? Ned tried not to think about it at all. But neither of them knew her like I did. They both were fostered away and saw her on occasion. I grew up with her and knew how she was, she would pour wine on me when she perceived I slighted her or push me in the snow. She was brave like Brandon and loved to fight like Brandon. She was insistent on getting what she wanted, and father always gave it to her because she was his only daughter, he said she looked just like mother. That’s how I knew the horrible truth she must have wanted this Dragon prince and what she wanted she got. I did not know if she knew how kind and good Elia was, but I knew she would not have cared.

I wondered how my death would be remembered probably as a stupid boy who was too trusting, and they would be right. I thought about my death a lot. I would either be beaten to death or freeze. There was a hole at the top of my cell no larger than a fox hole and sometimes bread was dropped through it so I would not starve. It was Elia that sent the food I knew it had to be because their was a message inside the bread I seemed to eat most of it but the pieces I had were _Red Viper_ , _help_ , and _nearer then thought_. This may have given Elia hope, but her brother would not make it through the walls alone and my death still seemed inevitable.

As grim as it was thinking of my death it was a good distraction from thinking about the mortal danger Elia was in because of me. As well as Brandon’s unborn baby. Brandon would be disappointed I did not protect them better but the truth of it was I loved Elia myself. She was more like a mother or sister to me then Lyanna ever was. Not that I would tell my brothers that. Not that it mattered I would never see them again. I hoped I would see Elia one last time to apologize to her.

The sound of boots shook me from my thoughts Nan started wailing as it came closer. “It’s alright Nan.” I lied. I was relived when my cell door opened, I was the only one here who deserved the torture. Luwin was shouting at them to leave me alone.

“GET UP!” The guards yelled but they did not wait instead pulling me from my corner and out the door. We did not go to the connecting guard’s hall Bolton used as a torture chamber instead for the first time in many days I was taken out into the light of day which made me squint. The light shined against the snow in a blinding way. My eyes still widen as we walked across the inner wall and I look out to see the army facing Winterfell.

I stopped moving going to the wall. “Ned!” I cried out as though he could hear me my big brother had come for me. I was pushed forward and down the stairs into the Yards where Roose Bolton waited. The guards began tying my hands and trying to gag me I resisted and fought back best I could, kicking and biting.

“Come now boy your brother is waiting.” Roose said catching my attention I stilled long enough for them to bind my arms and gag me I was lifted onto the back of a horse and my feet tied to the saddle. “Don’t try anything funny boy.” The guard in front of me said. 

My brother was waiting to treat with Howland Reed, Lord Crewyn, and the Blackfish. Lord Bolton had a Ryswell and Dustin at either side.

Ned’s eyes were focused on me he looked over my black eye and bruises and it in raged my calm brother.

“How dare you lay a hand on him!” He tells lord Bolton angrily.

“I am not the one whose endangering him, if you and your large army so much as move to siege Winterfell your brother will die, your greater numbers mean nothing not while I have Benjen Stark some northern houses haven’t even joined you in fear of endangering him, they would rather live under my rule then be the reason Rickard Starks youngest son is dead.”

“What about your son have you thought of him?” Ned asked finally looking at Lord Bolton.

“My son I am giving everything to.” Roose reminds. “He will inherit the North.”

“Not if you harm another hair on my brothers head.” Ned warns.

“You think you can threaten my son hundreds of miles away?” Bolton askes dryly. “You’re not the man your brother was Lord Stark, you’re a tolerable nuisance so why don’t you go away and be just that.” Lord Bolton said to the laughter of the men around him, but Roose never laughed.

I began chewing on my gag as it seemed I had been forgotten which was a good opportunity.

“MY brother, Lord Brandon Stark is taking an army to the Dreadfort right now. “

“Brandon Stark is dead he is lord of nothing but the ground now.” Roose declared. “What liar told you this?”

“Oh I trust my informant. You tried to kill my brother in the mountains but your no match for him.” Ned says he looks right at me as he says it my heart is pounding; I cannot believe what he is saying.

“His skull was bashed in.” Roose tells his Allies who look afraid.

“Brandon Stark has always had a thick head. “the blackfish says I think in an effort to make me smile. If anybody could survive its Brandon, I just know it is. Brandon is the best at everything.

“If Brandon Stark were alive his wolf blood would compel me to go to Winterfell with haste.” Roose says but fear was slipping into him.

“Lord Stark can learn from his mistakes it seems. He will have your son and wife as his prisoners before tomorrow. He will trade his wife for yours and your son for my brother and I will take Winterfell once they are safe and you will die in a horrible manner he has planned out for you, or you can submit now and I will execute you with a clean swipe of a sword.” Ned tells him simply the only bargain he would make.

“I will trade Benjen Stark for my son, I will see to it young Benjen is treated properly from now on as I expect my son to be, when he is here we will trade but I will not submit Winterfell. Not when I still have hostages.” Lord Bolton promised.

“If you harm lady Stark your own wife-“ Ned starts strongly but Bolton raises a hand.

“Kill her and be done with it. I will not trade the princess not while your brothers baby lives in her stomach.”

“Shes……” Ned cannot believe it.

“With child yes, Brandon should remember that when handling my son.” Roose warns. “If that’s all.” Roose said knowing Ned would not take Winterfell while Brandon’s child was inside it, Roose had won again as he seemed to have every intention to.

I have chewed through my gag but have been holding it in my mouth as though it were whole, I spit it out now to warn Ned of an ally he did not know about.

“The Red viper Ned you must write him tell him Elia’s in danger he isn’t in Dorne he is closer then-“ I shouted wiggled from my captor but the guard hit me hard in the face before holding my mouth shut I tried to move out of his grasp as my mouth filled with blood but he held it firmly closed.

“He’s choking on his blood! Someone helps the boy!” The blackfish spat. Ned was shouting but his word were lost on me I was held off to the side of the horse as much as my binds would let me an their allowed to puke up my own blood.

Howland reed was trying to keep Ned from charging forward as I was lifted back up onto the horse my mouth was held shut again.

“Remember every hit Benjen, your big brother says they are to be give it tenfold.” The blackfish says and I almost smile that sounds like Brandon.

We depart from this treat with nothing really solved and Ned unable to attack and us stuck in Winterfell. The gates of Winterfell close I am cut down and beaten for misbehaving. Until I am grabbed by the wrist and pulled away. Roose Bolton is the one pulling me, so I know I have not been saved and instead something much worse is coming.

He leads me inside and up to wear Elia is kept it is not the room she shares with my brother but a small little chamber. Her stomach is now round with her babe. Her eyes go to me immediately.

“Benjen, what have you done to him!” She demands I realize my face is bleeding, Elia speaks with the confidence of a princess even when she is a prisoner and I wish I was like that to but I truly was a boy as they all say. Myla is next to her looking worried

She stands carefully and Roose throws me onto the floor. Elia moves to me at once. “Are you alright.” She asked softly I nod looking up at her.

“Where is your brother!” Bolton asked her narrowly.

“My brothers are in Dorne?” she says if I did not know better, I would say she is truly confused.

“No! Where is the red viper!” Roose says.

“Oberyn is in Dorne.” She says back just as calm she never falters.

“Where are her letters!” He barks at Myla. “Be truthful girl or you will be when I flay you.”

“There!” Myla admits pointing to a wooden box.

“Get it.” He demands.

I am told my mother was not one for jewels but when I was little hers were kept in that box until Lyanna convinced my father to give them to her. I had no idea what happened to my mothers jewels but from what Brandon had told me about her I think she would have liked that Elia kept letters from home in it or mayhaps she would just like Elia.

Myla brings the box, but Bolton is cautious. “You touch them.” He says.

Myla is trembling as she picks up the letters.

“Its only letters.” Elia sighs.

Roose read over the letters before throwing them on the floor.

“These are useless pleasantries! Where is he!” Roose asks.

“Those are all the letters I have.” She assures. “I know not what you mean.”

Roose kicks me. “He said the viper was near he had to get that from you!”

Elia looks at me puzzled I try to get up, but he kicks me in the stomach before stepping over me. He pushes Elia to the wall. Her hand is on her stomach protectively. “You need us.” She reminds.

“I can present Ned Stark with any squalling babe and you are becoming a pain I no longer wish to tolerate.” He is not watching me my eyes catch the cheese knife on the table with bread and wine. Myla peers out the door for guards and shakes her head. It’s a cheese knife and he has a long sword as well as a dagger. It’s almost doomed from the beginning I question if I can do this or if I will only doom Elia more.

His hand goes to his pants. “Mayhaps you just need broken in properly.” My mind is made up I move for the knife.

“You are a horrible man!” Elia says keeping his attention one of his hands are on her shoulder and the other grabs her face.

“You are a dornish bitch.” He says he begins to push her down she turns her head to the side he laughs lowly thinking its in fear of him. The knife goes right into his throat before he can fully turn. I push him to the floor away from Elia before falling down myself.

Myla is quick to shut the door. Lord Bolton sputters blood and flails on the floor before his body stills.

Elia acts quickly going to her box of letter she pulls out the letters from Oberyn and hands them to Myla.

“These are written in red viper venom, it is alright its harmless dry, dunk it in the soldiers wine, I want them dead before an army comes in and costs more lives. Once they are dead we will open the gates for lord Stark.” Elia says softly and Myla nods going off.

“Ned is not lord Stark, he said so himself. Brandon is alive.” I tell her through my tears.

“This is wonderful news.” Elia says putting her hand on my shoulder.

“I killed a man with his back turned. I have no honor.” I say slowly.

“You protected me from a horrible man. I think there is honor in that.” She tells me. “We need to leave this room Benjen we cannot be found with his body. “ I hear the worry in her voice she is still holding her stomach.

I get up nodding and wiping my face. “I will protect you and the baby no matter what.” I tell her she looks so grateful as she nods. I take Bolton’s sword before going to check the door.

We go until we hear footsteps then we hurry into a small chamber and I board the door. As soon as I have Elia hugs me and I did not realize how much I need the hug. I hold onto her for some time and she does not let go until I do. “I am very proud of you for doing what was necessary.” She promises.

“I am so sorry Elia this was all my fault you knew he was bad.”

“Because I have made all the wrong moves before in Kingslanding, we learn from our mistakes it is alright.” She admits.

“I should take the black when this is all over for what I have done.” I tell her.

“Killing that horrible man was no crime.” She says she sits on the small bed.

“I probably would not survive the wall I am a boy.” I tell her softly. “After all this time I am still the pup.”

“No, you are a grown wolf now, we will have to think of a very clever mantra for you.” She says she looks tired.

“You rest I will guard the door.” I tell her.

“And leave you alone with your thoughts right now, never.” She swears and I smile.

“I love you Elia; I am so glad you married my brother.”

“I love you too” She promises she smiles at the mention of him. “Ben I cannot believe he is alive!” She says she toys with her locket.

“If anyone could survive the mountains alone its Brandon.” I remind her.

We talk for hours we do not leave until the door is broken down. I stand ready for a fight, but I drop the sword when I see Ned I run into his arms and hug him.

“Benny!” Ned says happily before pulling me shoulders length away still holding onto me as he asks. “What the hell happened here?” My stomach does a flipped how would Ned understand.

“What was necessary.” Elia assures before I can say anything. “If anyone is to be judged for what occurred it is me.” Elia assures.

“Lord Stark was very specific about who was to be in charge until he returns so it is my duty to tell you Winterfell is once again yours my lady.” Ned tells Elia it was a good call to leave her in charge. “So if anyone should be judging it is you.” He says Elia smiles and Ned does too as he pulls me close. “I am just glad you are alright.” He promises and it is not until he says so I realize I actually am alright. We lived and the weight of Winterfell is finally off my shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So somehow my computer lost this chapter and I had to rewrite it but it's worth it because I just love Benjen! Even if he is a sad potato for most of this chapter. Thanks for reading let me know what you think!


	22. Healing

Chapter 22: Healing

Everyone swears to me Brandon is alive but it has been over a month and he has not yet returned, he is showing his rage to the Rysell’s and Dustins for following lord Bolton along with the smaller vassels that went along with the plot. He had to show them the price of disobedience Ned had said but didn’t Brandon know I needed to see him alive and well?

Ethan Glover returned to Winterfell bringing Catelyn and the children back. I found keeping the children close made me feel a little better. Rhaenys was the only one old enough to really notice the change in my appearance. “Momma you got big like grandmama.” Rhaenys had said when she first arrived it brought tears to my eyes, I thought she was to little to remember Rhaella and thought it was sweet that she did.

I thought about Rhaella a lot. We both struggled with pregnancies but at least we use to struggle together until Aerys sent her away and she died giving birth to her daughter. Her children were orphans alone somewhere in Essos. I wished I could help them, if Brandon got in with the king as well as his brother was perhaps, he could convince him to let them come to Winterfell and be wards of Brandon’s or with Ned at moat Callign. I had to stay in line to protect my children, but I owed it to Rhaella to protect her babies if I could. She was always so kind to me, we were both married to men who did not want to marry us but she always embraced me as her daughter, there was something cold and dutiful about her that she learned to survive, I always wondered what it would have been like to know her when she was younger, I thought I would see it in her daughter, I would still like to. If Rhaella and I did not share the same fate, Rhaella was older then I but also stronger and she still died. I at least knew Brandon would take care of Rhaenys and Aegon should I pass. He would not let them be taken away from him.

Still as I moved my hand against my enlarged belly I could not stop picturing my baby, imagining Brandon’s surprise, seeing him hold his child for the first time, being able to give him the heir nobody thought I could. That was worth living for.

“Momma!” Jon called snapping me out of my thoughts. Rhaenys had both Robb and Jon’s attention on the rug but the crackle of the fire brought him to me. Catelyn watched as I carefully pulled him into my arms. Him calling me momma still brought a smile to my lips it was new for me but Rhaenys said he had been calling for me like that since they left.

Catelyn was sitting next to me as we watched our children play, she was sure I needed to be calm and happy and nothing made me happy like my children.

Jon adjusted against my stomach to cuddle against me as I stroked his hair.

“Is it not odd he calls you momma?” She askes nervously.

“Why would it be he hears Aegon and Rhaenys call me mama, besides I feel like his mother I am raising him, I love him why should he not call me mama?” I asked she smiles politely.

“May I ask you something.” She says softly.

“Of course.” I promise.

“How can it not hurt you to look at your husband’s bastard.” Catelyn asks.

“I have known plenty of cruelty in my life and there is nothing cruel or bad about Jon. My husband could do much worse then give me this sweet boy to adore” I said before kissing Jon’s head. I had always wanted a large family and Jon was a part of it now. I was so happy to think myself the mother of 4 children.

“I think it would effect my marriage.” Catelyn admits honestly.

“Every marriage is different.” I say wistfully wanting my husband to come home and I was not the only one, I noticed Aegon banging his wolf against the floor watching the paint chip he has been in a sour mood of late.

“Aegon stop that.” I told him and he did so with a pout. “Come here my love.” I told him and reluctantly he obeyed.

“There isn’t room for me!” He says stopping short of my grasp.

“Well you can sit on my lap.” Catelyn says pulling him into her arms and kissing him until he was forced to giggle. “I know you miss lord Stark but I have known him for sometime and I know he would not want you to be unhappy.” She says before looking up at me. “Either of you.” She reminds.

“Lady Catelyn is wise beyond her years.” I tell them putting Jon down and carefully getting up. “Be good for her while I go check on Benjen.” I tell the children.

“I want to go too!” Rhaenys says hopping up she loved him so much and in truth Benjen would love to see the children but I did not want Rhaenys to see her hero battered and wounded and I did not want Benjen to hurt himself trying to play with her.

“Not yet my love he needs to rest.” I told her softly.

“I made him something, I found this pretty leaf when you took us to the Godswood and I pressed it in a book to make it flat, I thought he could use it to mark his page since you bring him books.” She tells me what a sweet little girl she has become even though her childhood was marred with strife.

I carefully take it from her it’s a truly beautiful red leaf from that extraordinary tree, I have been to the Godswood quiet a lot lately and sometimes with the children, I do not know if my prayers there are ever heard but I liked to think Brandon’s gods were watching over him wherever he was.

“I am sure he will love it, that is so sweet.” I tell my daughter who smiles.

Jon whines as I move away from him.

“It’s okay Jon, we play while momma is gone.” Aegon says hopping down from Catelyn’s lap he offers his wolf to Jon who happily takes it sitting on the rug. Aegon may look so much like Rhaegar but he is more like Brandon everyday the way he pats Jons head makes me think of Brandon’s love for his brothers. Rhaenys Joins them to bringing Robb along.

“Jon can you howl like a wolf?” Rhaenys askes sweetly. “Can you go owow ow ow ow oww!” She says.

“ooooo wow!” Jon goes and Aegon falls back laughing Rhaenys gives him a glare that makes Catelyn and I life.

“He will get it!” She says determined before turning to her other pupil. “Robb can you go owww oww oww!” She askes and Robb just tilts his head confused.

“Moooo!” Aegon goes and soon both babes are mooing after him his proud smile makes me think of Brandon.

Rhaenys looks at me defeated. “That better be a baby sister.” She tells me making me laugh.

I gather some things for him before going to his wounds, the swelling in his face has gone down he is starting to look like Benjen again, his chest is bandaged tightly and he is suppose to stay still so his ribs can heal properly. Luwin was leaving as I was entering.

“How is he?” I ask.

“Well he is sleeping much less and complaining much more.” He says gruffly.

“At least he is well enough to complain.” I remind as I go in Luwin nods respectfully before leaving us.

“How are you feeling?” I ask.

“Bored.” He says dully.

“Well I brought you something.” I say carefully handing him the leather journal. He looks at it seeing it written in my hand.

“Is this your journal?” He askes before his face twists in disgust. “My brother is not in it is he?” He asks.

“No, it is 10,000 ships Nymeria’s story, it was not in the library and I know you only like books about war and have read most of them, I know this one by heart so I wrote it down for you.” I tell him he smiles and looks over it carefully.

“Rhaenys pressed a leaf for you to safe your place.” I tell him handing it to him.

“Will you bring Rhaenys and Aegon?” He asked.

“Soon.” I promise. “I want you to focus on getting better you went through quite a lot.”

“I was weak.” He says bitterly.

“Do not say that, you were very strong.”

“I killed a man from behind there is nothing weaker.”

“You saved my life and my babies life.” I remind him. “I will always be grateful.” I promise taking his hand and for a moment he relaxes but only for a moment.

“Ned resents me for it, I know he does he just doesn’t say so because I am his brother and there is not anything Ned would not do for family, he is loyal to a fault.

“Ned still loves you I do not know what he thinks is right or wrong but what do you think Brandon would think about you saving us any way possible?” I ask.

“He will be proud.” Benjen says.

“Yes, he will be and I already am.” I promise.

“Will you read the book to me for a while?” He asks and I nod. I read to him until he falls asleep.

Before I go back to my children, I find myself going to the Godswood. I still remember how Brandon looked at me when we married here that charming smirk of his I never thought I would be carrying his child when we married. I step forward towards that magnificent white tree when a twig snaps under my shoe and the other inhabitant of the gods wood startles to his feet and moves around the tree that had been hiding him from me and Ned Stark and I were staring at each other.

“I did not mean to startle you.” He says my hand was firmly on my stomach out of instinct and my heart was beating fast from the shock.

“I did not mean to interrupt you at prayer.” I told him softly. “I should go.” I tell him stepping back,”

“You do not have to,” He tells me, and I stop.

The wind rustles through both of our hair as we stay looking at each other.

“I suppose there is room for both of us to pray,” I say finally, and he nods.

“There’s a rock you might find as a peaceful place to sit and pray I always do,” He tells me coming closer and offering me his arm.

“I do not want to take your place of prayer.”

“Your carrying my brothers’ baby if I do not take care of you he will thump me when he returns.” He says and I smile though I know he is not joking. I take his arm and look at this wonderful place while he leads me to the rock.

“I did not think you would pray here,” He admits. “Catelyn prays in septs.”

“My gods turned their back on me first.” I promise him.

“So, you turn to the old gods?”

“I do not know I just find it peaceful her, I always think of wedding your brother here.” I tell him.

“I miss him to.” He says finally as he helps me down on the rock. “I know it seems like we only ever fight but when I heard he was dead….it broke my heart.” He tells me.

I nod never feeling closer to Ned then in that moment. “Like you cannot catch your breath no matter how you gasp for it.” I say quietly he nods his agreeance.

“I know you love him; I love him to that’s why I wanted to protect him.”

“From me.” I say knowing that is what he meant. “I am not sure what I have done to earn your mistrust.”

“Your cleverer then most and you do not mind using it to your advantage.” He says.

“What pray tell is wrong with that?”

“It is not the honorable way.”

“What is the honorable way?” I ask.

“A fair fight between two opponents with no scheming or backstabbing or poison.” He reminds.

“If I fought like that I would lose every time.” I remind him.

“You’re a woman you should not fight.”

“Then how am I to defend myself in this cruel world?” I ask.

“You are not supposed to, your husband is supposed to.”

“Rhaegar did not care to defend me or his children, Brandon loves me and yet he too cannot always protect me and my children and when it comes to my children I do not care how honorable it is I will defend them any way I can no matter how devious, I have to. I know Catelyn would agree with me there is not a bond greater than family.” I promise him.

“I agree and when you put it that way, I realize I am guilty of the same.” He says. “It does not matter when my siblings are in the wrong I still would defend them and die for them.”

“Benjen is not in the wrong, he did what he did to save me, he knows you do not think it was brave-“

“Stabbing a man in the back-?”

“Through the throat with a dull cheese knife to save me and my baby killing a man twice his age and size who had beaten him bloody.” I remind he actually smiles.

“You did not let me finish.” He says.

“You interrupted me first.” I remind.

“You are just as stubborn as Brandon.” He says with a small laugh I could see in his eyes he really missed his big brother.

“Go on.” I say finally.

“Stabbing a man in the back is different then a boy trying to save someone he loves dearly, I know this. I am not disappointed in Benjen he did not order the men to be poisoned.”

“I will not apologize for that opening the gates for you with the men dead meant no more unnecessary killing of the innocent in Winterfell those men were not innocent they hurt your brother and these are my people too now and I have to protect them.”

“Does Brandon find to so incredibly hard to fight you,” Ned askes.

“He does not.” I promise looking at the tree when I realized something and looked back at him. “If Benjen was not who you meant why are you disappointed in Brandon. He did the right thing he did not rush here half cocked he went to the dread fort got hostages of his own.” I remind ready to defend Brandon.

“I did not mean Brandon.” He says wistfully and I realize he means Lyanna. “Have you ever defended someone you knew was wrong?”

“Yes.” I admit Oberyn got into a fight with lord Yarnwood after sleeping with his mistress and wife they had a battle to first blood because Oberyn was a royal prince but Oberyn slayed him all the same and Yarnwood was furious and so was Doran his rage was justified but I worked tirelessly to secure a peace between my brothers. When Doran’s son reaches the age of 7 he will be fostered at yarnwood and this made peace for my brother Oberyns crime. So, I understood Neds need to defend his sister though he knew her choice was wrong I also knew it was terribly hard to admit when your sibling was wrong.

“Sometimes it is easier to try and find blame in those they wrong.” I admit.

“It is the cowards way out.” Ned admits.

“You are not responsible for Lyanna and Rhaegars mistakes.” I tell him and his eyes go wide.

“You know?”

“Yes.” I admit.

“Is he going to tell everyone?” Ned says frustrated.

“No, I am glad he told me though and if you want some advice you did not ask for I think you should tell Catelyn, she is your wife she should be your confidant too.”

“It’s a Stark secret.”

“She married you and bares your Stark children what more could she be?” I asked.

“Your right, I find myself saying that a lot.” He says.

“I find myself liking you better.” I tease.

“Well if you need any help with anything let me know, I should be a good brother to you as well.” He says so earnestly I think there is a little of Benjen’s sweetness in him as well.

“Would you show me how to pray, I am not sure if I am doing it right.” I admit sheepishly.

“Aye, but I do not think there is a wrong way to pray.” He tells me he sits next to me and bows his head. “We pray for Lord Brandon Stark to be safe on his journey and to return soon, we pray for that his baby is born healthy and that Benjen’s strength is returned to him.” Ned says with his eyes closed. I close my eyes too.

“We pray for my brother’s safety far away from me, for all of our children and their health. We pray for all of our people in the north to thrive with food and peace.” I continue and I feel his hand take mine.

“We pray for princess Elia’s people in Dorne for their own safety and security.” He adds.

“Amen.” A familiar voice says and my eyes snap open to see my Brandon in front of me. He is staring at me and move forward to me quickly I grip him tightly as I get up. “Brandon thank the gods your alright.” I cry tears pour out of my eyes as I embrace him, he is almost frozen in shock.

“Elia your pregnant.” He says softly.

I look up into those wild grey eyes. “You’re going to be a papa.” I tell him softly I cry more because I thought I would never get to tell him this that I would never see him again.

He drops to his knees and kisses my belly. “I swear in front of all the gods to love and protect this child all it’s days.” He says before kissing my stomach more he whispers his love to our baby as I comb through his messy hair with his brother looking away from this private display and the weirwood tree before us as our witness while its brilliant leaves shade us.

Neither of us noticed Ned’s departure. Brandon get up and pulls me into his arms and we kiss and kiss until our lips are swore. “I thought you were gone.” I cry his hand wipes away my tears as he cradles me in his other arm. “I will always make my way back to you Elia. “He promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading hope you liked it. I thought it was time for Ned and Elia to have a talk, and it was about time for Brandon to return. Anywho thanks for all the amazing comments you guys have given me I really really appreciate it. Let me know what you think!


	23. Home

Chapter 23: Home-

“Stark!” Aegon called as he ran to me. I bent down catching Rhaenys first

“I knew you would be back!” Rhaenys cried before giving me a kiss on the cheek. It seemed like they had all grown since I last saw them. Rhaenys hair had gotten longer it made her look more like her mother.

“Hey sweet girl.” I tell her returning her smile.

Aegon crashed into me next, he held onto me so tightly. “Stark.” He whispers so softly it was almost more like a promise then my name. He looked taller less like a baby more like a child.

“Hey Silver.” I tell him my hand runs through his silver hair it still made me chuckle that he was this little perfect Valyrian Targaryen and I loved him like he was my own flesh and blood.

“Come here slow poke!” I said as Jon toddles after them into my arms. I remember when he was just learning to crawl and now, he was waddling into my arms.

I was so happy to hold them so closely. Winterfell would always be my home, but it hadn’t truly been a home coming until seeing the people I love knowing that they are safe. I kiss each of their heads. There was still another I had to see. I look up at Elia smiling down at me I could not help but stare I still struggled to believe it. I had given up any faint hopes of having a child with Elia but now the realization still made my heart race. We were having a baby that would be half Elia and half me. Rhaenys, Aegon, and Jon would have a baby brother or sister. I hoped they would care about their baby sibling as much as I did for mine.

“I need to see Benjen.” I tell her and she nods.

“Come on children we can all talk to Lord Stark in the morning as we break our fast but now its bedtime come on.” Elia says Jon goes right to her.

“I am not tired!” Aegon says clung to me but as he says it Jon yawns which makes Aegon yawn.

“You look tired to me.” Elia laughs and Aegon glares at Jon as though he has betrayed him.

“Do not be bad to the baby!” Rhaenys says as she goes over and hold Elia’s hand.

“Come on Silver listen to your mother.” I tell him he pouts a little like his mother, but I give him a look like one my father give me he nods and hugs me again before going over to them and taking Jon’s free hand.

I watched them

I go to find my little brother confined to his bed covered in bandages and bruises. I am horrified by what that monster did to the boy I love so much.

“BRANDON!” He said happily he moved to quickly and ended up wincing in pain. “It’s true you really are alive.”

“Tales of my death have been over exaggerated, for the second time. Just rest.” I said sitting next to my brothers bed he chuckles but then clutches at his ribs in pain.

“Benny-“

“I am fine.” He promises Benjen hates being babied but he will always be my baby brother.

I nodded. “Of course your fine, you’re a Stark.” I tell him and lightly he smiles.

“What happened at the dread fort, with the Ryswells and Dustins?” Benjen asked.

“Its not a pretty tale Ben?”

“I need to know.” He assured.

I killed Lord Ryswell when he stood between me and the dread fort, when I took it I executed his son Rickard Ryswell. Roger died here of poision. When I came this way Barbery moved her men south Lord Manderly is advancing.” I said it was odd talking about a woman I once loved like this. All respect I had for her was gone.

“What about Little Roose Ryswell does that make him the lord?” Benjen asks and I shook my head. Roose ryswell was a boy of 12 younger then Benjen much more a child then Benjen.

“When I took the Rills he would not bend the knee to his fathers and brothers murderer. He would not submit that I was the warden of the north and my stark heir after me so I executed him.” I told my brother and watched the shock on his face. “I did not want to Benjen but I had to.”

“Why” Benjen asked confused.

“Because its my duty, because they thought they could come into my home hold my brother and wife as hostages and hurt you! “I told him it broke my heart seeing him like this in so much pain.

His confusion turned to angry and his head turned away from me. “He was just a child Brandon. What could he have done to you?”

I touched his arm lightly and he looks back at me. “He would not be a boy forever Ben, and I wont be around forever if I could stop a problem for my child, or you, or little Robb before it happens I will and that means I cannot let the Stark name be disrespected especially not by our own bannermen.” I told him mayphaps it was war or being beaten with a rock, but I have thought about my death a lot and how I would leave my family. I thought I was ready to lead before my father died but I wasn’t I made so many mistakes I had to correct them and be better if I was going to leave the North and the Starks stronger.

“Why did you have to do it.”

“Because the man who passes the sentence swings the sword you know that.” I told him father only said it all the time.

“Why do you have to pass the sentence?” Benjen asks only he would look at it this way.

“Because I am lord Stark.”

He nods. “Better you then me.”

“Well you’ll be a lord Stark to, you can have the dreadfort and-“

“No!” He says quickly I supposed he did not want a reminder of Bolton.

“Then the Rills and Aegon can be lord of the Dreadfort.” I said house Stout’s last lord had died defending the Dreadfort, Goldgrass was a modest castle but I had thought of giving it to Jon but I thought I should not bring up the other traitors right now. Benjen knew them as family friends I once did to and that is why I found their betrayal even more bitter.

“No, I don’t want to be a lord of anything. That is not me. I tried to be you and people died.” Benjen says with tears in his eyes.

“That’s my fault Ben not yours.” I promise.

“I am sorry Brandon I cannot.” Benjen says softly.

“We will find what it is you are meant to do.” I promise him I want nothing more to hug him, but I don’t want to hurt him.

“Tell me about the others houses who opposed you.” Benjen says finally.

“It will make you angry at me.” I tell him simply. “Tell me about what it was like hostage in your own home.”

“It will make you angry at me.” Benjen says back.

“Not at you.” I promise.

“I could not protect them Brandon, I could not protect Elia.” He says I feel something snap inside me like a quiver.

“Did somebody hurt Elia? Did Bolton?!” I say more forcefully then I mean to.

“He threatened to do horrible things to her should I not comply.”

My father called it wolf blood, the thing that made me want to go kill a dead man. It was white hot rage that I felt an urge to satisfy with blood, Bolton was lucky he was dead.

“He was going to hurt her when I killed him. I had to kill him I know I should not have killed a man from behind but he said he was going to teach her a lesson and he was pulling her down and-“

“You did the right thing Benjen and I am very proud of you, anyone who gives you any trouble for it can take it up with me.” I tell him and he smiles for a moment.

“Your really proud of me?”

“Furiously proud, you protected the woman I love and in her stomach the heir to house Stark, anytime through its life that child does anything good remember had it not been for you it may not have been born.” I tell him and he smiles.

We talk for hours longer I let him have ale for the pain and he is asleep after a while.

I walk through the dark halls only lit with torches like the boiling I felt inside. I find Ned in his rooms he was sitting on the side of his bed but he jumps to his feet and grabbed his discarded sword when the door opens. Catelyn is still in bed and pulls her robe together modestly I did not really notice her.

“Where is Bolton?” I ask lowly.

“Brandon you cannot just barge in-  
“He tried to hurt my wife dammnit where is he!” I shout.

“He’s in a crate to be sent to the dreadfort fort bu-“ Ned begins but I stop him.

“I want his body thrown out into the woods for the wolves.” I demand Ned does not agree but he can see I am not in the mood to be contradicted.

“Come on.” Ned says softly gently trying to move me towards the door I smack his hand away from me.

“You are in my bedchamber with my wife Brandon.” Theirs anger in his voice when he tells me this though he is trying to stay calm if I were not his brother, he probably would have hit me by now. I see how pale Cat is I let him push me out of the room I kept looking at her I wanted to apologize but the words never came.

He continues to pull me.

“Where are we going!” I ask pushing back.

“He gives me an annoyed look and pulls. “To calm you fucking down.” He grumbles I thought about hitting him before he pulled the door open and it was like being out on the battlements of Winterfell with the cold wind washing over me. I shoved Ned aside quietly going in Aegon and Jon were asleep in one cot and Robb in another.

I quietly walked over to them and kissed Jon and Aegon’s head there was oddly something very comforting about seeing them safe and maybe Elia was right about the odd smelling their heads thing it was nice. Jon was completely passed out but Aegons eyes flickered open and closed before really opening his smile appeared just looking at me. “Starkie.” He says softly making me chuckle. I would prepare house Stark so it would survive after me but I could not rush off or brawl every time I get angry because I had a desire to live along life and see what kind of person the children would become.

“Silvie.” I tease he yawns. “Goodnight Aegon.”

“Night night.” The tired boy says turning onto his side and closing his eyes I get to the door when I hear his tired little voice say. “Wove you Stark.” Before shutting the door, Ned was there waiting for me.

“Thank you.” I said finally.

He nod and simply says “Learn to knock,” While walking away it was so very Ned I had to laugh.

I went up the stairs to my own bedchamber hearing Neds door bolt shut added to my amusement before opening the door to see my radiant wife at her vanity taking off her silver direwolf locket for bed. She was already in a night dress that showed the full curve of her belly. Myla undid her hair, another girl brought a water basin into the room and a third was clearing a tray.

“Thank you and goodnight ladies.” I said and they all bowed and left.

“Sorry I want you all to myself.” I told her.

“That is very well but you must put the fire out.” She said gesturing to the basin.

“Are you hot?” I asked surprised when I turned, she was slowly getting up. I did not thing Elia would be hot if Winterfell were on fire.

She smiles and puts her hand on her belly. “It’s my northern little baby. Though it might not be so little I do not know how much larger I can get.”

“You look wonderful Elia.” I promise my eyes still drawn to her belly I thought she looked wonderful carrying my child. I helped her into bed she held me close for a moment. “I missed you Brandon.” She says softly.

“I thought of you ever day.” I tell her she smiles but then she cries and clutches her face.

“What is it love?” I ask wiping her tears.

“I thought I lost you.” She admits and I hold her close and kiss her head.

“Our story is not finished.” I promise her. I hold her until she relaxes in my arms. I kick off my boots and throw off my tunic and shirt before getting in next to her and wrapping my arms around her.

“I this alright? I want you to be comfortable.” I asked.

“I have been dreaming about being in your arms.” She tells me and I kiss the side of her face. My hand runs over her stomach. “I promise I will keep you all safe, I am so sorry Elia I am so-“

“It is not your fault.” She promises. “We survived and that’s all that matters.” She assures her tone tells me she does not wish to discuss it more so I let her be I do not want to upset her while she is carrying my babe. I lay their imagining what it will look like and sound like.

“I am so glad you are home.” Elia tells me softly as she falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a short sweet chapter but there is more drama to come. Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.


	24. Pain

Chapter 24: Pain

There is an early morning chill in the air but it’s nice and warm in bed with Brandon’s hands roaming a crossed my body as we continue to kiss first sweet loving morning kisses that have intensified into long burning needy kisses and I cannot get enough of him. Brandon’s kisses feel healing.

“This is hardly fair.” Brandon says he is holding himself up on his hands and knees not wanting to put any weight on my stomach. “You cannot keep kissing me like that when I cannot have you it is too cruel.” He tells me making me laugh. He rolls over laying down next to me and its my turn to climb on him.

“I cannot help it, it’s hardly fair that I have this longing for you while I am all large, fat, and swollen.” I pout.

“Believe me wife you still entice me.” He promises with that usual smirk I lean down kissing him again my hands cup his face I am grateful for every moment with the man I love, the man I thought I lost.

“I love you.” I mutter against his lips and feel his smile after a few more moments of our wonderful exchange he pulls away.

“I love you too.” He promises sitting up and pulling me into his lap he bends to put kisses across the top of my stomach.

“I love you too baby.” He promises my stomach before kissing it again he could not look at my belly without smiling.

I remember telling Rhaegar I was pregnant with Rhaenys, my handsome groom looked up only briefly from the scroll he was reading and nodded. He told me he was pleased I was fertile and already be with child and at the time I was so happy to have pleased him.

Brandon was not pleased he was overjoyed by my pregnancy; he was already so in love with our baby and it only made me love him more and more. My hand caressed his hair as he laid kisses across my stomach as he made oaths to protect and love our baby as he did every morning.

He straightens up looking at me with this blissfully happy smile.

“Marrying you is the best thing anyone has ever forced me to do.” He says kissing my head and rubbing my belly I lay back against him giggling as his arms wrapped around me. I was so very content in his arms I did not want to get dressed and have to go about our daily routines apart.

“I will do anything to protect you and the baby, will you ever feel safe here again.” He says so seriously I turn to see the softness in his eyes I can see the guilt he feels.

“I always feel safe with you. This is our home the Boltons cannot take that from us.” I tell him and he proudly smiles.

“I am so happy you think of Winterfell as your home.” He says earnestly.

“Well I do have a wolf pup in my belly.” I remind him Dorne would always be my home to but in truth my children and I did have a life here and I loved that.

My hands move over his as he holds me. “It’s over now isn’t it?”

“Almost Barbery moved her men north Manderly is bringing an army to meet them I would have went myself, but I would have never made it in time. She is the last of the strong rebels and this whole thing will be put to rest.” He promises. “There will be a meeting with my banners before they go back to their homes.”

“I will talk with Luwin and make sure-“

“Catelyn can do that I want you to rest as much as possible and save your strength especially because I want you at that meeting.” He tells me.

“Really?”

“It is not Ben’s fault it was mine. I should have always left you in charge you match me in paranoia and beat me at wits.” He teases. “Until our child is old enough when I am gone winterfell will be left in you charge so you should attend all of my meetings with me.” He tells me.

I smile and turn to see those eyes I love. “I never thought I would meet a man outside of Dorne who treated me like an equal and I love you all the more for it Brandon Stark.” I promise.

“I love you Elia Stark.” He says and I kiss him.

“I like how that sounds on your lips.” I admit.

Brandon has breakfast brought to our room so we can have a little more time together before I go to wake the children and he goes to see Benjen.

“I think he is getting angrier by the day.” Brandon admits annoyed but also worried he loved his little brother dearly and so did I.

“ He was not happy to see me yesterday.” I admit while we eat.

“He usually likes you better than me.” Brandon said surprised.

“He is not going to like either of us while he feels we are babying him, perhaps we should bring him someone he would not mind being taken care of by.” I asked.

“Who did you have in mind?” Brandon asked curiously.

“Berena Hornwood.” I tell him watching for his reaction.

“I hardly think you need to be managing a betrothal between the Tallharts and the Hornwoods right now.”

“What about the Starks and the Hornwoods? He likes her I know he does and since both you and Ned married foreigners your bannermen might like you to marry Benjen to a northerner.

“Lord Hornwood is a good man, see if the match has been settled for the girl and I will see if he wants to marry her.”

“They will want to know what will become of him.” I remind.

“Let me talk to him about that.” Brandon says and by the way he says it I know he already knows what he wants for his brother.

“I thought Rhaenys would like to ride her pony?” Brandon askes carefully watching my reaction.

“Be very careful with her, and make sure you spend time with the boys, or they will be jealous.” I remind.

“Of course, and I have had Luwin find the family tree for you.” Brandon tells me.

“Why?” I ask.

“For Baby names.” Brandon says simply.

I take his hand. “You want to name it after your father if it is a boy, you just have not said so because I cannot name our baby after my father. The warden of the north needs a Stark name I understand that, and I am happy with it.” I promise.

“How do you do that?” He asked taken back.

“What?” I ask confused.

“How do you make me fall more and more in love with you every passing day.” He asks getting up.

“What are you doing?” I ask as he walks around the table to me.

“I cannot stand it anymore.” He says he picks me up in his arms as though I am as light as a feather and not the boulder, I feel like. “MY wife is beautiful, wise, and kind and I must satisfy her.” He says caring me back to the bed making the heat between my legs rise again. He lays me on the bed so carefully before pulling up my night gown.

I cry out a desperate whine as his lips find my most intimate parts. No matter how many times he does this I cannot get use to the pleasure it provides the sensation of his roaming hands, the tingle of his beard.

Before I can stop them my hips buck at the movement of his tongue it only makes Brandon moan and pull my hips closer to him as he sucks harder doubling his efforts. One hand slip from my him to rub against my entrance. “Brand-on ah!” I cry as I get closer to my edge it as came on so sudden, but Brandon is an expert when it comes to my pleasure, I sometimes think he knows me better then I know myself. “I need you; I want you; I love you!” I babble right before I hit my peak my vision blurs as this rush off feelings as all my urges are satisfied.

Brandon has stood and is just staring at me I watch him for a moment with lidded eyes until I realize how hot I am and pull at the loose ties of my nightgown that easily gives way and freeze my breasts to the morning air they always have never filled quite like this when I have been with child before I wonder to my self if they will stay like this as Brandon steps forward between my legs. I am still panting to catch my breath. As I feel his hands slowly moving up my ribs.

“Be gentle.” I tell him they are incredibly sensitive he nods running his hands over them messaging them gently and soon I am moaning again.

“Say it again.” He tells me I look up his eyes are as dark as the night sky.

“Say what?” I ask hazy with pleasure.

“That you need me and want me and love me.” Tells me with a deep breath never taking his eyes off me. I hold his stare.

“I need you; I want you; I love you Brandon.” I promise he growls longingly in response his hands go down to my hips and he starts rubbing himself against my entrance.

“I need to at least feel you.” He tells me he does not say it as a question, but he is still waiting for my answer I nod easy agreement. He moves against me still in his trousers he pulls my legs around him and rubs against me making the most amazing friction he bends over to take one nipple into his mouth gently licking and sucking at it before moving to the next one my hand fists into his hair as I find my bliss again I fall against the sheets watching him docile as he picks up the pace and ruts against me.

I find myself moving against him and crying out again his trousers from rubbing against me, are wet now and it feels as though the fabric is not they’re at all and it is wonderful. I feel the heat rising in me again as he continues moving at a punishing pace. I watched the lusty desire ridden look on his face and it was the last straw as my climax came crashing like thunder, I cried out for him and he continued trying to find release.

“I want you; I need you; I love you Brandon.” I told him again and finally his own orgasm hit he braced himself against the bed frame.

I patted the bed next to me and that was all the invitation he needed to flop down beside me.

It had been since before he left that we were together. He made me forget how big I was getting, how fat my ankles were, and veiny my arms were and every other thing about myself that annoyed me was gone while I felt desired and pleasured by Brandon.

“I should not have done that I am sorry.” Brandon says brushing through my hair.

“Why?” I ask cuddling against him.

“Your caring my child I should not tire you with my desires.” He says.

“I am so happy to carry your child Brandon I am. But I have never had intimacy like this with anyone else and I will not lose it, I cannot.” I tell him softly.

“I would never let that happen.” He promises.

Finally, we have to get up and dressed and part for the day, but I take the happiness with me as I go about my day. I am absolutely in love with my husband and caring his child. Luwin, Nan, and Catelyn would ask thousands of questions about how I was feeling and give me even more advice about how to make sure my pregnancy went smoothly. It could be a little draining at times, but I knew it came out of a place of kindness and concern.

Baby was our little Jon’s new word and he said it constantly. Rhaenys wanted a little sister more then anything in the word when Aegon was asked he said he wanted a nice dog which made everyone laugh.

Luwin was concerned of the kings wraith that because of the up rise in the north we missed the scheduled treaty and it would have to be redone. No words on the fact Robert did nothing for the North in it’s time of need. This did not surprise Brandon or myself but it did seem to surprise Ned. Now Jon Arryn and Brandon were arguing over ravens about when and where the treaty should happen. Brandon would not have me travel until after the baby was born but Jon wanted it to happen now and it seemed they would fight about it until our baby was born. I longed for my brothers, but I would not endanger my baby either.

Luwin had handed me a scroll and the family tree as I was going to visit Benjen. I laid the family tree out over the bed so we could look at it together.

“We have a name for a boy but not a girl, what do you think?” I asked I wanted Benjen to feel important and have something to do.

“I think you should not call your baby Myriame.” He teases.

“Noted.” I say opening the sealed scroll while Benjen looks to the family tree.

_Really was I surprised you were unable to make it to the treaty. Everyone was surprised. Still I have been told your in a delicate state. Continue to take care of yourself and let me know if there is anything, I can do for you. Until I see you again, I will miss you. Everything if you need it._

_Prince Doran Martell_

The message was simple, we would have to see him soon because no matter how much I wrote of my love for Brandon Doran would not believe it till he saw it.

“Lonnel is bad too but I like Cregan!” Benjen said snapping me out of my thought.

“Girls names.” I remind.

“What will it be called if it is a boy?” Benjen asks.

“Rickard for your father.” I tell him he frowns and looks down at the family tree.

“It’s supposed to be an honor.” I tell him he does not look back at me. “I thought we could combine our mothers names for the girl but I cannot get it right either Lyenza or Lorarra what do you-“ I start I look back at him. To see he is violently picking at his family tree.

“Benjen stop it!” I tell him grabbing his hand and pulling it away to see he was picking at his sister’s name to try and remove it.

“Papa would be here to meet his grandchildren if it was not for her.” He mutters.

I sit on the side of his bed and kiss his head. “Blaming her will not make the hurt go away trust me.” I tell him softly he nods wiping his eyes.

“I am so glad your my sister Elia.” Benjen whispers.

“I am lucky to have such a good little brother to look out for me and defend me, and to fight my enemies both real and on fabric.” I tease making him laugh.

He looks to my letter. “Is it poison?”

“No, it’s from my other brother.” I promise.

“How did you know?” Benjen askes softly.

“I knew Oberyn would look out for me, but dried red viper poison turns red when it gets warm, I only had to press it near a candle to see the truth.” I told him he nods Oberyn was an expert in poison after studying at oldtown until he got bored.

Benjen points to a name. “Raya, that makes me think of the sun.” He says happily.

“I really like that.” I tell him I know I have to ask Brandon what he thinks but as I walk around Winterfell, I am smiling thinking we have our names Rickon or Raya.

I am on my way to do the books before checking on the children when I hear the clacking of shoes coming towards me, I turn to see Catelyn hurrying at me with a wide smile on her face. She joins are with me before whispering in my ear.

“Lord Manderly is here and so are the prisoners, shall we see if the woman who tried to steal both our husbands is there?” Catelyn askes.

“You must pretend to not be so pleased.” I tease her making her giggle.

“I will do my best she promises as we walk out onto the balcony overlooking the courtyard, the wind is blowing wildly.

Out of a carriage steps the woman who tried to steal my husband from me whose brother in law took our home and tried to kill us, tried to do all sorts of horrendous things. When I first met Barbery she was a vision of beauty now her hair whipped around in the wind as panic set in on her face.

To my surprise after her the guards forced out another woman a little older than Barbery but also fairer, this woman was even less composed as she held tightly to a small boy with jet black hair an clear Bolton eyes.

I realized she was Bethany Bolton Roose’s widow and the boy she clutched onto was Rooses son Domeric. She followed her sisters agreeably enough until the guard tried to take her boy from her. She screeched and yelled and hissed as her boy screamed Barbery tried to go to her sister’s aid but was held back by guards.

“Leave him with Hope Bethany don’t let his last memory of you be like this!” Barbery told her sisters as mother and son weep.

I found myself in a rage going down the stairs.

“Careful Elia!” Catelyn reminded as she followed.

“Stop that at once!” I ordered the guard.

“Lady Stark these are prisoners.” The guard reminded everything was so hard now that our master of arms was dead the position had to be filled so Winterfell could run smoothly once more.

“It’s a mother and a child, they can room together.” I order.

“Yes, my lady.” The soldier says Barbery’s mean eyes only glare at me but Bethany looks at me tiredly with the eyes of a frightened mother unsure of what would happen to the thing she loved most her child. I have been her before.

“Thank you.” Bethany says softly clutching her boy.

I only nod stopping one of the guards. “Who told you to separate the boy from his mother!” I asked knowing that pain.

“Lord Stark.” He says simply and I found a great rage growing in me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and thanks for all the amazing support and kind words you have given me I really appreciate it and it helps me keep witting. I hope you enjoyed this chapter let me know what you think!


	25. Enemies

Chapter 25: Enemies

I  was drinking in the hall with Ned I was letting him in on my plans for Benjen and for once he was not against me agreeing it was a good idea in fact I think he would rather that then be a lord but I still thought he was the right man for the job even if he did not. It was good to  be on the same side with him again.

I look at the doors as they  opened, and Elia comes through walking quickly towards us with intent and an angry piercing look in her eyes. Catelyn is with her. Cat has a sort of disappointed look in her eyes it was the sharp turn of her lip that showed her anger. They were coming right towards us. I finally decided Elia and Cat being friends was very  very bad for us.

“Please tell me they are angry at you.” I told Ned before taking a drink.

“I really hope not.” My brother says quietly reminding me of the shy  little boy I remembered before I left for the rills.

“Brandon!” Elia calls half way to me. “We need to talk.” 

I sigh, I know enough about women to know th at what it looks like when you are in trouble with one.

Ned gets up. “STAY.” Is the only word Catelyn  has to say as she crosses her arms to let him know he is not out of the fire  either?

While Catelyn is content to have it out then and the re, Elia who is much more private leads me to our rooms anytime I try to help her she swats my hand away saying. “I am fine!” or “Don’t touch me!”  I know whatever I have done is a grave mistake but for the life of me I cannot figure out what it is.  I have tried my best to take great care of Elia in her state. She was risking her life to bring life to my child I wanted to do anything I could to make her happy and  comfortable , and it was not just duty driven, I had not thought I could possibly love  her more and now she  was  bringing my child into this world and she never looked so beautifu l.

Once in side our room  she leans on a table  and rests her breath is  a little rugged and her eyes look heavy . 

“Lay down sweetheart rest, you can be angry with me as soon as you wake up. If you forget I will remind you.” I tease hoping to get a little smile from her she usually likes my teasing but instead she glares at  me, but it turns so sad it looks like she is going to cry.

“How could you separate that woman from her baby after what  Robert did to me, after you saw me suffer without my son how could you be so cruel Brandon!” She screams and cries.

My eyes shut tightly. “I did not want you to know about tha t.” I admit it was not something she needed to worry about right now, I knew how hard Elia’s pregnancies were so I have been  trying to be attentive and helpful and make things as easy as possible for my  wife and punishing the guilty was hardly something I wanted to concern her with.

“You did not want me to know!” She repeats my eyes open to see how angry she is. “You did not want me to know? Much like Eddard will not tell Catelyn about Jon. Apparently we are fit to carry your children but not fit to be trusted with the truth.” She says her accent is always thicker when she is angry or in the  throes of passion, usually it is hard for me to focus on being angry when she is yelling at me because of thoughts of the latter reason. Her words however were piercing to me, I felt the boil of my blood but the anger was gone as quickly as it came when I looked at her, I did not know how to be angry with her while she was making my child with her body. For once my anger was under control because I could not truly bare being angry to her even if she was angry with me.

“ Elia you are not being fair.” I say calmly deciding to try and be reasonable, Elia does it all the time. She excels at it I might as well give it a  try.

“I am not being fair, you have taken a woman and her son prisoner, you try to separate  them, and I am not being fair?” She shouts.

“ Roose Bolton tried to hurt you Benjen said so, he tried to  ** hurt  ** you, my brother was almost beaten to death and just think what he would have done wi th our baby!” I tell her in a growl he I could be angry with all my days.

“Roose Bolton is dead, you are blaming a small boy and his mother for what he is done, like  My children and I were blamed for Rhaegar, how could you separate a mother from her baby  after what happened to me!” Elia cries her voice tremble s a little at th e end and  it makes my heart ache.

“Because I know how effective it is and I wanted her to bend the knee quickly.” I say and watch her horrified expression and I understand it, it was terrible but necessary.

“How Could you! How could you  do such a horrible thing! How can you be so horrible!” She half cries half screams.

“I cannot show any hesitation on this Elia, I must make sure everyone sees what happens to anyone who crosses the  Starks, so our baby is safe all its life just by the memory of how horrible I was.” I tell her simply no matter how hard it is to hear Elia think I am horrible. That I am making her cry.

“What about Aegon.” Elia asks whipping her face.

“I want my legacy to  protect him too.” I promise I move closer to her she looks up at me hard.

“How will you ever explain to him that  you agree he should have been separated from me?”

“Not Aegon!”

“ Oh, so it's different because you don’t love the Bolton boy?” Elia asked.

“Yes! No! I don’ t kno w……”

“ That’s not good enough Brandon.” Elia says sadly.

“He won’t be a boy forever Elia.” I remind her.

“Neither will Aegon, hopefully Robert Baratheon is more forgiving then you are.” Elia says angry tears stream down her face as she moves past me. “I have been her Brandon! I have cried the same tears not knowing if or when they will kill my son the pain and fear! A kind of fear you never get over!” She shouts her legs tremble and she  reaches out for me no matter how angry she knows I will protect her I rush forward and catch her as she begins to fall and pick her up in my arms. There is a moment where her body reacts to mine before her mind can remember she is angry; she is relaxed and comfortable in my arms before making herself tense up and eyes  narrow, I carry her over to our bed.

“Please rest  darling think of our baby , be angry with me later.” I ask softly .

“I love your baby.” Elia tells me softly she reaches for my hand and I am  shocked, but I give it to her she moves it to her stomach. “It's not even here but I love it.” She says and I smile.

“I do to.” I tell her I cannot help but smile thinking about our baby, I feel like I just found out but it’s odd thinking back to a time when I did not have this love, I cannot imagine how I will feel when  it's here it was only a bump on Elia’s stomach.

She grabs my hand. “She loves her baby just as much.” Elia reminds me.

“It is my duty to protect you and our baby and if that means terrifying everyone so  much, they never mess with my family that is what I will do.” I tell her. “What would you have me do? Show them they can cross me and live unscathed?”

“I would have you remember what I told you when you left.” Elia says.  Her hand holds onto mine firmly. “Spare the innocent.” She reminds.

I pull the blanket up around her before I move away. “I will have Myla bring you something to eat, Nan can take care of the children and  Maestor Luwin shall check you out just to be safe.” I tell her turning and going to the door.

“Do you know her?” Elia askes from our bed stopping me in my tracks.

“I know her sister better.” I say not to hurt Elia, but it was true. “I have seen her at feasts especially in the  rills, but I never spent much time with her.”

“Before I went to find you, I went after her to make sure they were accommodated, this whole big castle and you have them on a bed of straw. I had  Brina fetch pillows and  Blankets, but I hardly think they will be any more comfortable.” She says annoyed.

“Would having them in a room with a feather bed  make you feel better?”

“No treating a woman and her child like prisoners would make me feel better.” Elia says I turn back to her to see her moving and struggling.

“Are you uncomfortable?” I ask going to her trying to help.

“It’s called being pregnant.” She says .

“Can I help?” I ask softly she is annoyed something tells me  it's because I am worried about my baby while a boy sleeps on straw. 

“Can I use your pillow?” She asks finally.

I nod getting it for her.

“I am going to put it between my legs.” She warns  looking at me to make sure it is alright . M aking me chuckle.

“I might be jealous.” I say quietly it was the wrong choice as the little peace we had was  in danger by the glare she gave me. 

“ I have never been less attracted to you.” She tells me sh e throws the pillow at me not with any real force and I catch it against my chest.

“Even when you first met me?” I ask to get her talking.

“You did annoy me at first and I was a little afraid of you, but I knew you were very nice looking… so yes this is worse.” She  decided .

“I was nice looking before we met.” I  correct as I carefully put the pillow between her legs.

“I like how you look; it's how you are acting I find disgusting.” She tells me angry anyone else would say that to me I would be furious but for the first time in my life  there was someone I could not be mad at if I tried.

“ How did you find Bethany?” I ask she looks at me suspiciously.

“Why?”

“I value your opinion.” I tell her with a  shrug, and she tries her best not to smile.

“She is intelligent either quiet from shyness or strategically I do not know. She seems strong and loves her son. She is fairer  than her sister.” Elia says my face must have shown my disagreement,  Barbery could be mean as a wipe but she was beautiful her sister paled in comparison. She was a little too tall with a large nose, thin black hair and thick eyebrows.

“She is fairer in personality surely you can agree.” Elia says annoyed.

“ Barbarey was once meant a great deal to me and now she is also sleeping on a straw bed because she betrayed me out of spit.” I remind . “I am going to leave so you can rest.” I tell her.

“Find other sleeping arrangements tonight Brandon.” Elia says she is doing her best to sound  cold, but Elia is not naturally cold.

“ I will, may I give the baby a goodnight kiss?” I ask and she nods I bend over kiss her belly a few times and whisper my love for it after all I am what I am to keep our baby safe.

I go to leave when I hear her.

“We are still married even if we are fighting you have to kiss me goodbye.” She tells me and I smile this is a mercy my sweet wife is giving me and we both know it. “I don’t feel like myself when I don’t kiss you goodbye.” I admit before kissing her I want a deep kiss to last but as soon as my lips start  moving, she turns away.

I stand on the outside of her door for  a while before barking orders to make sure Elia is as comfortable as possible.

As I walk past their room, I hear Catelyn yelling. “You cannot stand by and  do-nothing Ned that is not the man I married you must tell him this is wrong!”

“Have you ever tried to tell Brandon anything?”  Neds fights back I pass by  quickly going into the lower hall where  Benjen is standing leaning out the window and breathing deeply.

“What are you doing up?” I asked.

“Getting some  much-needed air.” 

“You have had it lets go back to bed.”

“I cannot stay in that bed any longer I will go  mad.” He tells me.

“If I take you on a breig walk will you stop bitching about being in bed.” I ask and he grins widely.

“It is all together possible yet wildly unlikely.  “He teases.

I help him on the stairs to his annoyance but the more we walk the better his walking is.

“Has  Luwin mentioned any ravens for me?” Benjen asked.

“No are you expecting something.”

“Well….I wrote Breana.” He admits a blush appearing on his face.

“Elia thinks it might be a good idea for you to marry her?” I admit.

“What do you think?” He asks quickly.

“I am interested in what you think.”

“I think the man who marries her will be so lucky but he will have more to offer then me.”

“Her brother was thinking of marrying her to a second son.”

“I am a third son.”

“You are also about to be the master of arms at Winterfell.” I tell him with a shrug.

“Really?” 

“Oh yeah you are a good fighter , why do you think Ned and I stopped picking one you. We did not get nicer.”

“I am young.”

“You have experience.”

“Experience failing.” Benjen says letting his head hang down.

“ So, do I we will learn best from failure.” I promise.

“I could really marry her?” He  asked hopefully.

“I want you to wait sew some oats and marry when you are 19 same as  Ned but we can start on a betrothal. It is not easy being married  Ben... ” I promise.

“IS something wrong?” He  asked worried.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I am your brother Brandon talk to me.” Benjen says and I smile.

“She is angry just like you were about how I have decided to keep our family safe.” I tell him I would never forget how he looked at me with wisdom past his years. “Brandon you do not need to inspire fear, you already inspire so much love. Three important houses may have risen against you but the rest of the north rose for you they did not have to you could not force them to they did it because they love you and they will follow where you lead.” He promises.

“How did you get so smart?”

“Elia probably.” He said and I laughed he was soon tired  but would not allow me to carry him so we went back to his room slowly taking breaks he was asleep before his head hit the pillow. It was a nice break from him complaining in this bed perhaps we would have to tire him out more often I thought before leaving.

I went to the tower cells I had them open a  particular door for me. Bethany rose from her wooden chair and I watched her eyes fill with terror. “ Domeric stay behind me.” She  tol her son back him up to the wall and standing  Infront of him. “Don’t take him!” She half demands half begs and I imagine those black eyes I love this distraught in  kingslanding and felt great shame.

“I came to talk to you, close the door behind me.” I tell the guard who does so. I sit she stays where she is protecting her son.

“Have you come for him? To end the Bolton line.” She  asked in a quiet shaky voice.

“My wife asked me to spare the innocent.” I admit to her she is not eased by this at all.

“But men cannot listen to the frantic weak  hearts of woman?” She says with distaste.

“Who told you that.” I ask the boy makes a  whinning noise.

“Lord Bolton almost constantly.” She admits.

“My wife’s heart is what makes her strong, Elia has an  uncontested ability to love she is good, kind, and gentle . It is a Husband and Lords duty to make the hard choices  accepting the credit and the blame for them.” I tell her.

“ Barbery is going to try to seduce you to be freed.” She says she cannot look at me when she says  it, she truly was shy like Ned was when he was a boy. 

“Why are you telling me this.”

“Because I would do anything  for my sons freedom but I do not have the gifts of which to seduce you, nor the money to bribe you now that the rills has fallen, all I have to off is  begging and groveling but I doubt you are the sort of man who enjoys that.” Bethany says in a whisper.

“I am not.”

“Would you allow  Barbery to seduce you for my  son's life?”

“Afraid not. I am married.” I tell her and she nods.

“ No, I suppose you would not that’s why she rose against you for spurning her.”

“Why did you rise against me, in defense of you sister ?” I ask.

“I did nothing against you my lord and neither did my son, see  Barbery is a widow and runs the  Dustin house in her  husband's name, I have no choices no voice I live to serve Roose he made that very clear.” She says softly.

“Now you are a widow too, would you and your son swear fidelity pledges to the starks?” I ask and watch her eyes widen with hope. 

“Yes! YES!  We  will wont we Domerick.” Bethany says desperately.

“Yes mama.” The boy says he is close to Aegon in age with dark hair and  moon colored eyes so pale they are almost reflective. 

“ Your sister will have to answer for her crimes as your father and brothers have will that be a problem.”

“They all made their choices this is the first time  I have ever been given one, let us live lords Stark and I swear to you we will be your most loyal banner I will tell all who listen what a  strong kind man you are!” She promises as loud as I have heard her speak.

“When the boy is  older, he will be fostered at Winterfell.” I decide.

“An honor.” She assures.

“ Let's find you and the little lord more fitting chambers.” I tell her.

We talk and discuss the best course of action for some time before supper I dine at my desk to look over the books one less thing to worry Elia about and when I finally go to tell her what happened I find her sprawled across the bed finally sound asleep. I do not want to wake her, and I cannot get in bed without moving her, so I do  infact go to sleep elsewhere. There are plenty of beds in  Winterfell, but a maid would have to make one for me and I do not wish to bother them as they have taken such good care of Elia and the children lately. 

I open the door to the nursery the three boys are tucked in their bed happily asleep I sit on th e chair near the bed and kick my feet up on the bed. Aegon’s eyes open and he sits up.

“It’s only me.” I promise.

Aegon Yawns and stretches he puts his wolf between Jon and Robb before getting out of bed and  goes to the wardrobe and comes running to me with a knitted blanket.

“Thank you.” I say as he crawls onto my lap.

“I sleep with you.” He says.

“Okay let's get you good and covered.” I tell him wrapping the blanket around him. “Night  night .” Aegon says softly. My eyes flutter and I find myself yawning.

_ I am in the throne room in the red keep but instead of my normal place in chains I am behind the crowd I push past them to see in all my dread and horror  _ _ Benjen _ _ has the noose around his neck and is trying desperately to reach the sword screaming and coughing up blood as he strains to get it. He’s my baby brother but he looks older with longer hair. “RICKARD!” Benjen yells I look over to see not my father but a young boy chained to a pyre he looks like me but with black eyes and my hear stills as he screams I want to run to him but I cannot move. _

_ “YOU CANNOT DO THIS YOU CANNOT DO THIS BENJEN HOLLARS!” _

_ “Uncle Benjen Don’t let them burn me please!” The boy cries as the priest goes over with a jar of wildfire. _

_ “YOU CANNOT DO THIS HE IS YOUR BROTHER AEGON!!!”  _ _ Benjen _ _ screams I look up in horror as the man on the throne laughing is not the made king but Aegon, he is older and laughing like a mad  _ _ man _ _ but he is handsome Aegon my Aegon with  _ _ madness _ _ in his eyes and a laugh that chills me to my bone even when both  _ _ Benjen _ _ and Rickon are dead he laughs. _

I jump when I wake up and Aegon falls to the floor with a thud before he starts to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright yall who is right Brandon or Elia? Did that Ending throw you off? Let me know all your thoughts and feelings reading your comments is the best part of my week! Thank you everyone for reading my story and sticking around so long I really appreciate it!
> 
> P.S I am starting a new Elia fanfic with a different fella and I am really excited about it!
> 
> Thanks again, sending you guys a lot of love!!!!


	26. Madness

Chapter 26: Madness

Brandon carefully watches Aegon as he sleeps between us. “You’re sure he is okay?” Brandon asked.

“He is fine, he stopped crying.” I reminded him Brandon was much more upset about it then Aegon ever was and I did not have it in my heart not to take pity on him. I asked him to come to bed he brought the already sleeping Aegon because he wanted to make sure he was okay which was sweet.

“I am the reason he was crying.” Brandon said moving back Aegon’s silver hair out of his face he needed it cut.

“You’re also the reason he stopped crying, as soon as you picked him up, he was fine love.” I remind with a little chuckle.

“I dropped your son how can you be so nice to me.” Brandon asked softly so upset with himself.

“It was only an accident. Everyone feels like a terrible parent sometimes, for me it was when I feel asleep Nursing Rhaenys and Ashara had to keep her on my breast.” I admit and he smiles.

“Really?” He asked with a laugh I was glad he was feeling better.

“Really I was exhausted Birthing Rhaenys was very hard on me and Rhaegar was eager to have a son and heir, so we were already trying again before I was off bed rest.”

Brandon gets quiet in that way he does when he trying to not let his anger out, he over comes it soon and kisses my head. “I would never do that to you.” He whispers quietly.

“I know you’re a much better man.” I promise and he smiles and kisses me again. My pregnancy with this baby so far had been my easiest of all, both times I was shut in a dark room as soon as it was known so I would not strain myself. I was still walking around every day after my children and Luwin said it was fine even beneficial for the babe I carried.

“I decided to pardon the Bolton boy because of you and Benjen.” He says softly.

“Thank you.” I tell him I reach over Aegon to touch Brandon’s arm. “You did the right thing.”

“Mayhaps but if the man he becomes rises against me or my family I will kill him.” Brandon promises.

“I know, as you must.” I sigh war was horrible but inevitable as long as Brandon waited to kill people once they wronged him, I would understand.

“I still cannot believe I dropped him.” Brandon says looking down at Aegon. “I would never mean to hurt him.”

“You were asleep.” I remind.

“I was having a nightmare.” He admits. 

“Not the throne room again?” I ask he only nods, he had said he has not had that dream in so long I was hoping it would not plague him any longer. “You were being choked?” I ask its horrible for me to picture I cannot imagine Brandon going through it.

“No Ben.” He says softly my hand touches my lips to keep from shrieking. “I am so sorry; I know that was your worst fear.” I whisper.

“It was not even the worst part.” He admits quietly. 

“W-what could be worse?” I asked horrified Brandon loved Benjen with all his heart.

“It was not my father being burned…it was our son.” He says I do not know how to processes this, but he continues. “At least how I imagine our son.” He admits.

It is sweet to think Brandon imagines our child but I am stuck on the thought of a child not born dying my hand clutches my belly protectively. 

“Aerys cannot hurt our baby he’s dead.” I remind mostly myself.

“It was not Aerys it was Aegon laughing madly on the throne.” He tells me and watches for my reaction slowly I sit up. I had thought of it before of course seeing the mad king, and even the glimmer that sometimes appeared in Rhaegar’s eyes I wondered if my own children could be effective, I always hoped the Martell in my children would be stronger, better their blood be fire then their entire worlds.

“It was just a dream it will never happen.” Brandon assures as he rubs my back.

“He’s half Targaryen what if-” The tears well in my eyes my hormones were racing to much for these kinds of things. 

“He is Targaryen on the outside he is all you on the inside E, he stopped crying as soon as I picked him up he forgives me as soon as he saw my destress just like how you let me back into your bed when you saw my destress.” Brandon said squashing my fears. 

“Will you hold me?” I ask softly.

“Always my love.” He promises he moves Aegon onto his other arms and pulls me close I rest my hand against my sleeping sons chest to affirm that he has a good heart though I think everything about my son is good I love him so deeply I am not sure I would be able to tell. I was terribly angry with Brandon for wanting to kill the son of a man who spited him I wondered if I would hold my son to the same standard. 

Brandon kisses my head he knows how I can obsess over things. “We are raising him Elia we will raise him to be a good man with good values.”

“I know I just…Rhaegar.” I say not having the nerve to finish it he seemed fine for so long so many people loved him he too had a doting mother and he went mad.

Brandon does not hesitate. “He is more mine then Rhaegars.” 

“I love you with all my heart Brandon stark.

“I love you and your little ones.” He promises. “We need a new baby name.” Brandon said I do not ask I just assume it was ruined by his dream.

“Alright my love, but I want a Raya at some point, it was Benjen’s idea and I am very fond of it.”

“Alright love.” Brandon says tiredly I wonder if he realizes he has agreed to at least another baby with me.

Regardless I am able to rest easy with Brandon’s assurances he makes me feel safe in any way I need.

The days to come are happy, the children run about the halls and yard with their games and Nan says this is best that Winterfell is best when filled with laughter of lordlings and I cannot help but agree. 

Benjen is in a much better mood no longer confined to his bed, Rhaenys has appointed herself his main caretaker as she is under the impression Luwin is her assistant. Thankfully Luwin finds it charming.

Brandon is becoming the great lord he was always meant to be Infront of my very eyes it is wonderful to watch him whether it is a squabble between lords or him listening to the needs of his people. 

The Bolton boy and his mother both bend the knee, Brandon requires the same of Barbery though if she bend the knee she will not keep her husband's lands, house Dustin now follows a distant cousin instead of its lady, a cousin who fought with Brandon instead of against him. 

The maids tell me everything she does including almost daily inviting Brandon to see her, but he never does he knows she is trying to seduce them. I find these maids are offended on my behalf, I did my best to protect them from Bolton and his men and now they give me their loyalty. Throughout Winterfell I am no longer the foreigner Lord Stark had to marry, I am Lady Stark carrying his child and everyone is so very happy when they see the bump in my dress. 

The court of the mad king and the court of Dragonstone showed Rhaegar no such loyalty though he never showed the same love for his unborn baby Brandon did so publicly. When I told Rhaegar I was having Rhaenys he just nodded and said. “It pleases me that you are already pregnant it means you are fertile” and at the time I was so happy to have pleased him I wanted so desperately to be loved.

Still I remembered having Rhaenys. I had never been more tired in all my life and I was dripping with sweet, but I smiled when I looked at her. I loved her so much I could not stop staring at her as I held her in my arms, I would not let the wetnurse touch her. She had powerful lungs and screeched.

“She already knows she is a princess.” Ashara laughed.

Rhaegar came in after the baby and I were cleaned I had hated every moment they took my baby away from me, they cleaned her and wrapped her in a blanket of red and black with golden crowns across it. The doors swung open and my handsome prince walked in. Rhaegar’s calculating purple eyes studied her.

“Rhaegar.” I whispered softly after hours of labor I was still weak and yearned for something loving from him something that was not a formality.

“Well, do I have a son.” He asked finally and I did not know what to say.

“You have a beautiful health baby girl your highness.” Ashara answered barely hiding her annoyance.

He could not hide his disappointment and it was all the strength I had left not to cry.

“We are both young enough, a boy will follow. “He said before leaving he came back later and held her. “We will call her Rhaenys.” He decides.

“Rhaenys? For the woman who tried unsuccessfully to burn Dorne?” Ashara asked seeing this as the insult Rhaegar was making it. Rhaegar smiles the way he does when he thinks he is witty.

“Yes, but see, we got you in the end and this babe can honor that.”

I leave such thoughts behind as we prepare for the Lord Hands arrival, he is coming to make sure come to his treaty this time. 

Brandon decides we will great him in the great hall and remind him who is the lord here. From the high table Jon Arryn looked older than I remembered and like his men he stared at my son no doubt he was supposed to report how the Targaryen boy was.

“Aegon come here, you too Rhae.” Brandon tells them they do as told and he puts each of them on his lap his own way of telling Jon Arryn they are under his protection.

“Lord Stark.” Jon Arryn greets.

“Lord Arryn.” Brandon replies.

It’s Ned who goes over and hugs lord Arryn who is thrilled with pride looking at his old ward.

“Shall we speak in private Lord Stark?” Jon askes uncomfortably.

Brandon nods “Mind Lady Catelyn.” He tells the children as they get off him and go over to Cat. He stands and extends his hand to me. Jon Arryn look bewildered, but I take it grateful for the help and the three of us go to Brandon’s study.

“Perhaps we should speak privately.” Jon says again.

“This effects Lady Stark as well.” Brandon reminds and Jon Arryn nods as he sits.

“After your own troubles in the north, you can understand the need for a whole Westeroes.” Jon reminds.

“Where were you and yours when we had troubles in the north?”

“Let us not forget lord Stark we are allies.” Jon Arryn reminds.

“Then you are not a very good ally.” Brandon says not one to stand down.

Jon Arryn does not address the barb and continues. “The king cannot look moved by the Starks whim; the treaty will be in the capital.”

“I will not be in attendance and neither will my wife.” Brandon says simply.

“You would rather it was held at Winterfell?” Jon Arryn. 

“No, I do not mean to fill Winterfell with Rats from court.” Brandon said ignoring the aghast look Lord Arryn gave him.

“I feel we have been more then accommodating.” Jon Arryn admits.

“So, don’t be, have it in Kingslanding we will not attend.”

“Then the Martells will not attend if they do not first lay eyes on their sister.” Jon Arryn reminds I want to go to see my brothers, but I too despise the capital and would refuse to bring my children there.

“My children will not leave Winterfell.” I tell Jon Arryn. Their safety had to come before what I wanted.

“And Elia will not leave Winterfell until after the baby is born, I will not risk either of them for your peace.” Brandon says sternly. I did not want to leave the baby after it was born either.

“So, Winterfell would be the only option.” Jon sighs he is not the type of man who likes going in circles.

“I will not fill Winterfell with southern politicians scheming for their means.” Brandon says.

“I thought we were rats?” Jon Arryn japes to show his own minimal wit.

“Rats are preferable to schemers.” Brandon assures.

“And why is that?” Jon Arryn asked.

“Rats are easier to spot and easier to kill. “Brandon says and Jon laughs at the jape.

“You are so like your father Lord Stark he was a difficult man to.” Lord Arryn says.

“A stark trait I hear.” Brandon says. “This is what we will do, only the Dornish will sail to Winterfell we will host them and they can see their princess is well and loved with their own eyes and then they can travel to Kingslanding for your treaty.” Brandon says marvelously I” love every word of his idea I wonder if he planned it the whole time.

“That is.....................agreeable I expect you to do your part and make sure they are in a good mood when they leave here” Jon Arryn says.

“Then it is settled.” Brandon says simply.

“Send Ned to the treaty so it at least looks like you care about peace.”

“Lord Stark cares about peace just not formalities.” I tell Jon Brandon smirks looking at me happily.

“And that’s all your Treaty is Lord Arryn.” He says his eyes stay on me he takes my hand in his. “Not to say you do not have some good ideas, our marriage was brilliant.” He says making me smile.

“So I see.” Lord Arryn says with a little smile.

Lord Arryn does not stay long only a few nights and he is gone again to tell Robert he got the wild wolf to agree to something more then he had imagined. I still cannot believe I might see my brothers again the idea fills my heart with Joy when I already thought it was full.

On a particularly nice day I ask Benjen if he would like to go on a walk with me and the children and he is thrilled, Luwin says not to long in fear of Benjen opening old wounds but in truth Benjen is walking better then I am today. I go to ask Catlyn but her chamber door is bolted and it is to silent inside I smile to myself Ned will not be leaving for sometime but apparently they are getting ahead stark on saying goodbye.

Instead the boys accompany us. Aegon, Robb, Jon, and even little Lord Bolton all have wooden swords and run around us while we walk.

“You have to be careful with Jon he isn’t as big as you!” Aegon scolds the other boys’ words he no doubt learned from Rhaenys who told him the same just as I told her about Aegon, it is sort of sweet how they mother each other.

I watch them play, the misplaced prince, the bastard _,_ the heir, and the traitors son, names people already whisper about them some names which mean they should be enemies but they have not been corrupted by the world yet. To them they are all just boys with wooden swords playing together.

“You can be on my side Jon?” Domeric offers he is a kind obedient child and Jon smiles that big wonderful smile that is all his no trace of Rhaegars brooding frown or the wolf girls smirk it is perfectly Jon.

“Plant your feet Robb.” Benjen reminds I smile wondering how long ago it was Brandon and Eddard were saying that to Benjen, Winterfell is not just a castle it is the starks home where they grow and teach each other, where my children are welcome as any, Roose Bolton thought he could take this from us but he could not. As we walk past the dark green trees with that wonderful smell we do not even have in dorne, I realize I do not just love Brandon I love all of Winterfell and I am so happy my children get to live here.

“I wrote Breana a letter.” Benjen tells me as we walk.

“That’s so sweet I am sure she will love it!” I tell him he blushes and looks down.

“I am not good at these things I was hoping you would look at it first to make sure it is alright.” He says softly.

“Absolutely, but wouldn’t you rather one of your brothers looked at it?” I asked they were men after all and Brandon was the ladies man besides Catelyn says when they are alone she gets a softness out of Ned that he hides from the world and I understand what she means there is apart of Brandon I like to think is saved just for me and our babes.

“No I do not wish to be tormented.” He says making me laugh.

“They only do that because they care.” I remind. “Someday these boys will be lovestruck and you will be tormenting them.” I tell him and he laughs.

“I bet the girls will love Aegon and his silver hair.” Benjen laugh and I laugh to.

“When Aegon was finally born after 3 long days I watched the midwives and wet nurses coo over his silver hair.” I told him not mentioning I passed out not long after wards. At first, I was so thrilled when everyone called him a perfect Targaryen princess until I realized I doomed Rhaenys to be the Dornish looking princess who would be in the shadow of the perfect Targaryen boy. Rhaegar did not give me the gratitude I was sure I would get from him after having his son, instead he calmly named him Aegon the name for a king. I asked if he would right our baby a song and he replied his was the song of ice and fire not a day old and Aegon was apart of Rhaegars prophecies, they were both lucky to be free of him.

We were going back in when we got to the yard and there was Brandon and Rhaenys brushing her little pony.

“Wont the people in the stable brush her.” Rhaenys asked.

“Yes but it’s good to take care of your own stead it shows you care about them, besides what if your off on a quest you won’t have a stable and staff to depend on.” Brandon tells her.

“I can go on a quest?” She asks.

“When your older and only if you invite me.” He teases.

I smile watching them.

“LORD STARK WATCH OUT!” Is yelled as the master of horses loses control of a young stallion that bucks him off and gets up on his hind legs. Brandon pulls Rhaenys under him as she cries for her little pony that runs off. He is careful to shield her as he moves her out of the dangerous area. Benjen keeps the boys back until the horse is under control.

“Brandon!” I shout.

“Elia she is fine, I am fine everyone is fine.” Brandon promises.

“Brandon!” I more shriek I wobble and Benjen grabs my shoulder to keep me up. “The baby!” I say as I feel the hot liquid running down my legs followed by a long slow pain. “The baby is coming!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of just a sweet chapter but those are the most fun to write. Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!!!!!!


	27. Pup

Chapter 27: Pup

“I cannot have the baby, It’s too early!” Elia cried as I carried her Luwin was right behind an army of women are behind us and running past us to get ready with towels and water.

“I estimated that the baby would arrive in the next moon, it’s perfectly reasonable to say that it was a miscalculation and the child is fully ready now.” Luwin says calmly.

“It’s going to be sick like me.” She whispers before her face twists in pain and she lets out a small cry.

As soon as I lay her on the bed I am being pushed and pulled out of the door by a small army of women Catelyn, Myla, and Nan among them all harping about this being women’s business. I don’t care about that now Elia is in pain and all I want is to be by her side. I look to her as she cries out again, she moves up on her elbows as if to brace herself as to of the maids are pulling back the bottom of her dress. The door slams shut in my face and the latches click before I even think to bang my hand against it.

My protests are ignored, and I stop wanting them to focus on Elia and the struggle she is enduring.

_I think of the last time I was outside a birthing room; I was eight years old and Ned sat next to me as we waited._

_Father came I swore he was the strongest, tallest best father and lord in all the world._

_“Has the maestor said anything Brandon?” He asked._

_“Not yet, nan said there was no need to wait because it could be awhile, but we decided to.” I tell him and Ned nods._

_“Why is that?” Father asked with a small smile._

_“Because we didn’t with Lyanna and she turned out to be a girl.” I said and I would always remember how he laughed._

_“We want a baby brother.” Ned chirped._

_“If I didn’t have the north to run I would join you.” He said with a smile before rustling Ned’s hair. “Come get me when it gets closer.” Father said._

_“How will we know?” I asked._

_“It will be really really loud.” He assured before leaving both Ned and I were in awe of the great man who was our father._

_“What if it is a boy?” Ned asked as we waited._

_“Well then we will have a little brother and we will teach him how to fight and make snow walls and the best places to hid when playing catch me.” I tell him._

_“What if it’s a girl?” Ned askes._

_“Well then it’s Lyanna’s problem.”_

_“Lyanna is only a baby!”_

_“So is the baby stupid.”_

_“Your stupid!”_

_“Am not!”_

_“Are too!”_

_We began to fight probably for something to do. I tackle Ned before the door opens I think the maid is coming to yell at us but instead she runs past us like she has seen a ghost. I get off Ned and go closer to the door._

_“Ned, go get papa.” I say finally._

_“Papa said to get him when something happens, and it isn’t loud?”_

_That’s what was odd it was not loud at all mother had stopped screaming awhile ago and now it was earie quiet. I pressed my ear against the door and heard fast talking Warlys telling mother she had to push she had to._

_“What’s wrong with her?” A woman’s voice asked._

_“Poor dear is-“ Nan starts when I am move by my head away from the door after I am done stumbling I am ready to fight till I see it’s my own father._

_“Papa!?!” I ask._

_“Wait here.” Is all he says as he moves past me and into the room with the maid._

_“Is mama okay?” Ned asks._

_“Father will make everything better.” I assure I thought he could at his very word._

_We wait and in a while there is screaming but it’s a baby taken quickly away by a wet nurse we only catch a glimpse of him, before the door shut’s again I see my mother but only for a moment she is lying in a bed full of blood and I feel sick._

_Time goes by and my mother starts shouting. “Where are my children I want to see my children now!”_

_“She is hysterical!” Aunt branda cries._

_“When you are well.” Fathers booming voice promises._

_“I WANT TO SEE MY CHILDREN NOW!” Mother screeches I raise to the door and begin to pound on it._

_“Mother I am here, mother it’s Brandon I am right here!” I promise._

_“Brandon my brandon!” Mother says her voice sounds relieved._

_Ned runs over and begins knocking. “Momma momma I am here to, momma its Ned.” He cries._

_“Let me see my babies.” She asked._

_“Cover her up!” Father orders the door opens I look to my father first to see how angry he is with me, but he does not look angry at all he looks something I have never seen him look before, hurt._

_Mother has a blanket over her and she looks very tired but alright though when I go closer I can smell blood._

_She reaches for me and I go to her. Her face is now a blur to me I cannot quiet picture it I imagine she looks something like Lyanna._

_“My brave Brandon, and my loyal Ned.” She says softly._

_My mother makes a pained noise and my aunt Branda pulls Ned and I out of the room. She takes us to see the baby._

_“Will mother be alright?” I ask while Benjen squirms in my hands._

_“Momma?” Ned asked._

_“you poor little dears.” Aunt Branda said she stayed with us all day she got Lyanna up from her nap and supervised the Benjen’s new staff and kept Ned and I close._

_We did not see father till he came into are room in the middle of the night to tell Ned and I our mother died._

“Do you want me to wait with you?” I here and I look at Ned he must know exactly where my head is, I wonder if he worried about this with Robb. IF he worried Catelyn would share the fate of our mother, but Catelyn Tully was an able sturdy young girl, Elia was already so delicate of body and petite she sort of looked like a snake that swallowed a large prey pregnant, and now my big northern baby was trying to get out of her.

“No.” I tell him solemnly.

“MAMA!” Aegon cries his voice gets closer “MAMA!” He says again.

“Go look after the children.” I tell him and stubborn as he is he takes orders well and goes off after Aegon.

In spend ours in that room waiting. I pace around for hours in agony worrying about the woman I love. I think about the little things, how warm she is when she cuddles into me. I think of how her accent boils my blood; the way she pouts that makes me want to kiss her. I hear her scream and it’s as though I felt her pain.

“Push your lady ship.” I here Luwin call.

I hope Elia is strong enough of body to do this for I know she is strong of mind. She is the only woman to match me in stubbornness. She was quick and clever of wit neither would help her now. The baby could be an entire moon early and also struggle and be ill I thought that bump in her dress I loved so terribly.

I slumped against the wall sitting as though a boy again though I no longer waited excitedly now I was a grown man and knew a grown man’s worry.

“I can hold your hand if you like?” A soft voice says I open my eyes to see Rhaenys.

“No you should be with Ned and the other children.” I tell her.

“They are babies, but I know what’s happening.” She assures me.

“You do.” I ask skeptically as Elia screams again. She give me a tough look that makes me overwhelmingly proud.

“Yes, momma says women bring babies into the world, and that it hurts really bad but once its over they are filled with joy.” She says as she comes over and sits beside me. I smile and take her hand.

“I may not have been there when you or your brother were born but you both bring me great joy.” I promise.

“I know!” She says so assured. “I am going to be just like you.” She promises.

“I want you to be better.” I tell her she smiles at me so proudly as though I am a great man like father.

“PUSH!” Catelyn says and Elia shrieks again drawing my attention back to the door, my expression is utter terror.

“Rhaenys, thank you. You are such a sweet girl, you get it from your mother, but I need to be with your mother and I need you to go take care of the boys.” I tell her she kisses me on the cheek before running off.

“I kick the doors and then again and again before the latch falters and the doors open.

That’s when I see her sweaty and in pain clutching the sheets and almost growls as she focuses and with tears in her eyes, she pushes the baby out of her body before falling back onto the bed. Luwin cut the cord before she hit the pillow and my child is rushed away to be cleaned. I go to Elia grabbing her up in my arms she is tired and fatigued but not white and quiet.

“Brandon.” She murmers and her arms tighten around me before she lets go all together. “I want my baby, give me my baby!” She calls before turning to me with tears in her eyes. “You have to bring him to me.” She whispers.

“H-him?” I ask softly.

Luwin come back over to us with the screaming bundle wriggling bundle that is only minute old and will not stay still or settle. “Actually, your lordship, her ladyship has given birth to a beautiful healthy baby girl.” He tells me.

I feel Elia’s hand on my arm. “I am sorry.” She whispers I look at her she has just given birth and cannot be held accountable for her actions. I hold her tightly and kiss her head I feel her find comfort in my arms.

“I am not disappointed Elia not in the slightest.” I promise my hand touches Elia’s check and tiredly she leans into my touch with lidded eyes. “I love you.” I tell her softly.

Once Elia is calm my attention turns back to the bundle in luwins arms. “Give her to me.” “I tell him.

“She must eat first.” He says handing her to a buxom woman.

“No I will feed her!” Elia says sternly. “She is mine.”

There is no arguing with her, and the baby is handed over to her. I watch her press our baby to her chest she feeds it with one breast then the other before the baby is at last settled.

Elia lowers the baby into her lap so I can have a better look her black eyes settle on me. For my part I look down at my child, she is pale and wrinkled with a dark tuff of hair.

“She could darken with time.” Elia says worried as if it will make me change how I feel about are baby.

“Then she will be beautiful like you.” I tell her kissing her head. Elia pays no mind to the ladies who clean her and change the bedding from under her she stares at our daughter and I stare at her. She is so unbelievably beautiful and maternal she reacts to every noise our baby makes.

Elia can sooth the baby’s whines with a touch as though the baby already knows her mother is the most comforting lovely person in the world. I understand in that moment why her parents wanted her to marry Rhaegar. Even though she had just given birth she was so regal like she was made to be a queen. Even still I was so glad she was mine and as those dark eyes looked at me, I knew I was hers.

“May I hold her?” I ask and Elia nods giving her to me carefully. Luwin shoos everyone away so we may have privacy and I am grateful.

I walk around the room just staring at her my daughter and how odd that feels. She is so small yet she is solid like a northerner I realize.

“She seems strong.” I note.

“Like her father.” Elia muses softly as she lays back still carefully watching her baby like a mother wolf tends to her pup.

I carefully sit at the edge of her bed she lays her hand softly on our baby’s chest.

“Thank you.” I tell her softly. “Thank you for baring my child, for being my daughters’ mother.” I tell her softly.

Elia smiles tiredly. “She needs a name.”

“Yes.” I say. “ A strong name that scares enemies and brings hope to allies.” I say watching Elia’s confusion. “She is my daughter, my heir. Someday she could be the lady of Winterfell.”

Elia slowly moves to cuddle against me. “She already has that name, Stark.” She says making me smile and kiss her head.

“Tell me some Stark names.” She says as her eyes flutter closed.

“Well let me think.” I say I was not always the best student for Warlys. “There was a Sarra, Alysanne, Argelle.” I say Elia looks so cute when she scrunches up her noes and shakes her head it makes me chuckle.

“What was your mothers name?” She askes and my heart pounds.

“Lyarra, that’s sweet but to hard.” I say I tell her she nods.

“Alright love, more names.” She says and I laugh.

“Uhhh Lysa, Melantha, Alarra, Alys-“ I start.

“Alarra sounds kind of like Lyarra and I like that it starts with an A like my little niece Arianne she is going to be the princess of Dorne someday.” Elia says softly.

I look down at my daughter nestled in my arms sleeping soundly. I smile comes to my face. “Alarra Stark.” I muse. “My Alarra Stark I promise to protect you all my days.” I tell my baby.

Elia falls asleep against me and I am glad for her to rest. I watch the two of them sleep peacefully until Alarra began crying and Elia wakes to feed her.

“How can she be hungry again?” I ask.

“She will be hungry a lot.” Elia says happily she looks up from our baby for a moment and smiles at me before turning back to Alarra. I kiss Elia’s head unsure how I was so very lucky to have her. After Alarra feeds there is a knock at the door, I instinctively stand to protect them.

“Someone would like to see the baby.” Catelyns voice sings. “Baby baby!” Jon cries.

“We are seeing mommy too!” Rhaenys corrects.

“Leave Jon alone he’s just a baby.” Aegon tells her.

“You’re a baby!” Rhaenys counters on the other side of the door I chuckle as I walk to the door. Somethings never change.

Eddard is carrying Aegon in one hand aand Jon in the other. Rhaenys is holding hands with Catelyn. Benjen stands behind them clutching the wall.

“We want to see the baby too, and Elia.” Benjen says.

“If you are going to come in you have to be quiet and on your best behavior.” I tell the children before letting them in.

Rhaenys and Jon run to Elia as soon as they are able, Aegon reaches for me and I take him from my brother. Catelyn and Benjen are already looking at the baby when Ned pats me on the back.

“How does it feel to be a father?” Ned asked.

“I already am.” I say softly he is about to respond but Catelyn speaks first.

“She is just beautiful.” She awes.

“You would not tell us it was a girl!” Benjen says astonished watching his niece as I walk over to them.

“It was not my news to give.” Catelyn says simply. “What do you call her.”

“Alarra, Alarra Stark.” Elia says proud showing the children their baby sister. I just watch them happily sure this is all I need.

Ned leaves first, then Jon who is too little to care to much especially when his mommy cannot give him all her attention, Rhaenys goes with him because she has to be in charge of him.

Catelyn and Benjen take turns holding Alarra for a long time until she is hungry again that’s when Benjen congratulates us and quickly leaves.

Catelyn and Elia gush over every inch of our baby but she finally leaves to let Elia rest.

Elia sleeps soundly and I sit near her bed holding the baby with Aegon who surprisingly lasted the longest though he was just a boy he looked curiously at Alarra.

“You are her big brother.” I tell him and he nods.

“Eddard says you’re her father, Ben says you’re a papa now, so does lady Catlyen.” He says looking up at me with those mystical purple eyes.

“I am.” I tell him.

“Nan says my father was killed in a river by the king.” Aegon admits.

Rage fills me. “She should never have said that!” I say trying not to growl. He clutches my leg and I am afraid I have scared him.

“Aegon I-“began when he starts to cry he looks at me with watery lilac eyes.

“I wish you were my father too Stark.” He says tears stream down his face I adjust Alarra to one arm so I can pull Aegon up on my knee.

“Oh silver, I am your papa, because I love you just like I love the baby.”

“Weally?” He asked.

“Yes, you, and your sister, Jon, Ben, and Mommy are all I need to be happy and I will take care of you all my days.” I promise.

“Can I call you papa, stark?” He asks softly.

“Of course, you can, I am your papa.” I promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man this chapter has been coming for along time! I am so happy to finally publish it! Please please let me know what you think and thank you for reading.


	28. Fall

Chapter 28: Fall

Maybe it was exhaustion from having a baby, but I was almost sure Brandon was perfect. He had decided to make himself the gate keeper of my labor bed. Catelyn, Benjen and Luwin were the only people always allowed in he had to have told the children the must be good when visiting because they were all little angels. Brandon was loving and devoted to me, but he was also so incredibly happy by the birth of our daughter. He did not care in the slightest she was not a boy. Rhaegar had been disappointed Rhaenys was a girl until he decided it was all part of the plan and he actually needed another daughter though he never apologized for how he reacted to the first. Right after giving birth for a moment I was terrified Brandon would be disappointed to and to disappoint him was something I could not bear in that moment not after I just brought forth the labor of our love.

Rhaenys and Aegon were both made out of duty but Alarra was conceived in love and Brandon’s heart sored every time he held her. I even heard him sing softly to her one night when she fussed. He adored his baby, he was a good lord, he was a loving husband to me, and best of all he still was a wonderful father to my own children.

It took over half a year to heal from giving birth to Rhaenys and I was sick the entire time, it took even longer to heal after Aegon’s birth, and I could hardly move for most of that pregnancy. Though the beginning of my pregnancy with Alarra was troubling but that was because of Roose Bolton, aside from normal strains of pregnancy I was well enough, at the least as well as usual.

After a week of rest, I found myself up again to Brandon’s panic his concern was sweet and I could not find it irritating not when his own mother died of childbirth. So, I easily agreed to take things slow at first.

Besides, I could spend hours staring at my beautiful baby girl, Alarra looks so much like her father and already I can see his strength in her. She has my black hair and eyes. I look up from my daughter to see Brandon proudly watching us from the doorway.

I pat the bed next to me and he comes over. “Watch this.” I tell him with a quite giddy.

I look down at my baby. “Alarra, Alarra! Alarra!” I called and she smiles at my voice.

“Who wouldn’t smile when they hear your voice.” Brandon said kissing my head while moving Alarra’s blanket up around her.

I had worried Rhaenys would be jealous of a baby sister, but she was thrilled to have another girl and often I would watch Brandon with Rhaenys on his lap helping her hold the baby.

The children had all started calling Brandon papa which I loved.

The tables have turned and now Benjen goes on walks with me to make sure I am okay we talk and laugh and discuss Benjen and Berena’s letters. Live is slowly going back to normal.

Brandon must show the children the white Raven when it comes.

“Its hair is like yours!” Jon tells Aegon making Brandon laugh.

“It means the seasons changing my love. “I tell Jon kissing his head. “It’s falls now.”

“But winter is coming.” Brandon, Eddard, and Benjen say in unision making me smile and turn to Catelyn.

“Stark men will always be stark men.” Catelyn teases.

“I have been waiting to hear you say that.” I tease Brandon and he smiles.

“Isn’t that bad papa?” Aegon askes worried, Brandon messes his hair.

“The Starks have survived a thousand winters, and we will survive thousands more.” Brandon promises. Aegon takes him at his word but Rhaenys looks nervous so Brandon pull them into his arms. “I would never let anything happen to either of you.”

Ned soon leaves again for the moat his goodbye with Catelyn is less teary this time, they are fighting because she knows he keeps things from her. I cannot blame her for her anger, but Brandon says it is not our place to get in the middle of their marriage and I believe he is right.

When I do to much in a day and do not stop or take breaks he just swoops in and picks me up in his strong arms and carry me back to bed.

“I had the baby a month ago.” I remind but it is hard not to find comfort in Brandon’s arms.

“You need to rest my love.” He soothes as he lays me down in bed.

“Will you rest with me.” I ask softly his eyes look tired he has been being lord of Winterfell, caring for the children, the new baby, and me.

“Anything you want.” He promises as he lays next to me, I move into his arms, there is a mild soreness still between my legs but I am happy to be held by my husband again.

It all seems to be going so fast. Brandon begins leaving early every morning to prepare for the coming winter. I feed my baby every day it takes longer to soothe her hunger. After words she coos for a little while before falling to sleep, I carefully set her on the bed where the maids coo over her.

Myla helps me get settled into the bath when the door opens, and Nan comes through.

“I am to see how you are feeling.” She says simply.

“I am alright.” I promise.

“We will see about that, your breasts look good, are you often tired?” Nan askes.

“Not more then normal.” I admit.

“Does your womanhood hurt when you touch it?” she asked.

As odd as her questions are, I decided it is better her then Luwin and I try it and feel no pain. “No.” I tell her she moves to where the maids are playing with Alarra.

“The baby is thriving; I see no reason to not resume.”

“Resume what?” I ask.

“Your task of providing lord Stark a son and heir of course.” She says as though it is an obvious answer.

Brandon has barely even kissed me since our daughter was born I was sure it was to soon, I knew if I touched by womanhood six moons after I had Rhaenys I would scream out in pain, and I doubted Brandon would want to. My breasts swelled with milk and were sore, my nipples were chapped, my stomach was still soft with a roundness to it I did not really mind being to skinny most my life but I understood though it was an easy enough pregnancy my body was a wreck afterwards like my first to.

“It is your most important duty and cannot be put off.” Nan reminds before she leaves.

Brandon had said Alarra could be the lady of the north and the dornish in me quite likes that. But I know I surely alone in thinking my daughter is Brandon heir when most would pick his brother and his brothers’ son after him. Catelyn ever congenial is already discussing the possibility of Alarra marrying Robb when they are older.

I am dried off and dressed and sat down so my hair can be fixed. I think of how I would not mind terribly having another baby another little piece of Brandon, I always wanted a big family and he is such a good father. Neither do I dread the idea of Brandon bedding me again in fact I long for it. As odd as Nan may be, she has seen a lot of woman have a lot of babies and I find myself believing her.

Brina rushes in out of breath. “My lady-their early!” She says panting.

“Who is early?” I ask.

“The-prince’s-of-Dorne!” She finally gets out.

My eyes widen in shock. Myla quickly finishes the simple northern braids.

“There, I will take the baby to the nursery.” She promises before going back to ordering the girls around. “Gara get Lady stark her cloak it is snowing out.”

She wraps me in the grey fur line cloak as Brina puts on my boots. Myla takes my baby and I cannot help rushing out the door.

I look over the terrace to see them in the courtyard they are both dressed warmly and uncomfortable. Brandon is greeting them, and it does not appear to be going well Brandon and Oberyn appear to be measuring each other up as I come down the stairs.

“You will not come to Winterfell and make demands!” Brandon assures.

“We did not travel all this way for the pleasure of your company, where is my sister!” Oberyn snaps back.

Its Doran who sees me first He looks older, wise as ever, but an odd fragility is in his tired eyes.

“Elia!” He cries as I go to them Oberyn turns at the instant of my name his eyes widen and he smiles he pushes passed Brandon to hug me twirling me around in his arms we have not laid eyes on each other since Harrenhal.

“I thought I lost you.” He whispered in my ear quietly.

“Even from very far away you found away to take care of me.” I remind softly trying not to cry.

“You like my letters?” He muses.

“Very useful, and entertaining though you have never been a great poet.” I tease just so happy to see him.

“You wound me.” He teases as Doran comes to join us, I notice his very prominent limp.

“I thought the sun would never shine in this bleak place but here you are.” He says as he hugs me Oberyn joins in too the three of us united after all this time is a miracle and it bring joy filled tears to my eyes.

“Don’t cry love.” Doran says gently.

Oberyn shivers and pulls his fur cloak closer. “How do you survive in such a god forsaken place stark?” He torments Brandon with a smirk I hit his arm.

“We find plenty of ways to stay warm.” Brandon says back with his own cocky look that practically has Oberyn hissing I give Brandon a little glare, but I cannot really be mad at him for standing his own. Brandon has never known how to back down from a fight of any kind.

“I already do not like him.” Oberyn muses.

“Try not insulting his home.” I remind but Oberyn is not one to easily change, Doran shakes his hand.

“Thank you, lord Stark, for your hospitality it has been a very long time since I have seen my little sister.” Doran says kindly.

“Welcome to Winterfell prince Doran.” Brandon said respectfully he could be the most congenial lord when he wanted to be.

We went in and Doran wanted to talk to Brandon which meant I had an opportunity to try and convince Oberyn everything was good as I lead him through Winterfell by the hand he told me different ways he could kill Brandon.

“Oberyn stop it!”

“I am just saying done right it looks like a belly burst.”

“Don’t even joke about him dying, I don’t know if I could live without him.” I tell him.

“Don’t even joke about that, what’s so great about him anyways, what can he do for you?” He whines to annoy me as I open the door, he walks through it and sees Alarra in her cot.

“Doran said you had a baby, boy or girl?” Oberyn asks but he is already smiling at my baby.

“She is obviously a beautiful baby girl!” I scold I did not know how much I missed scolding my baby brother.

He laughed. “They all look like monkeys at this point. May I?” He askes and I nod and he picks her up.

“Her name is Alarra.” I told him proudly.

“She is lovely but don’t let your love for her be confused for love with him.” Oberyn says and it hurts but it is not without justification after all I did the same thing with Rhaegar.

“This is not like last time, I loved him before we had Alarra and unlike Rhaegar Brandon loves me too.” I assure him and my brother looks sad.

“They should have let you come home to us.” He says painfully it was always easier for Oberyn to get angry then to deal with his feelings.

“I know, but if it was not for Brandon Aegon would still be in Kingslanding. Brandon once had a bad dream that Aegon ended up like Aerys, Brandon loves Aegon like he is his own and immediately dismissed it for nonsense, but I keep thinking what would of happened to my sweet boy if he was still in Kingslanding.” I admit he kisses my cheek before sighing.

“Do you really love him?” He asks.

“With my whole heart. I know he comes off as gruff, but he is loving and attentive and protective.” I promise and my brother nods. “As long as you are happy.” He admits.

The door opens and Benjen enters with the children, Oberyn hands my daughter over to me so he can grab Aegon and Rhaenys in his arms tossing and catching them as he would his own daughters. Rhaenys giggled along but Aegon does not do well with people he does not know touching him.

“PAPA!” Aegon cries I go over to settle him but Brandon comes running in shortly after determined to get to his child. He takes Aegon into his arms.

“It’s okay silver, this is your uncle Oberyn, he is your mama’s brother.” Brandon tells him in that gentle voice he saves for the children and me. He glances at Oberyn and I am sure he does not want him to see him like this but I know Oberyn he is a father too and he only respects Brandon for it, he even smiles while my husband gently rocks Aegon soothing him.

“Your good with him.” Oberyn says finally which is as much as an apology as Oberyn will give and Brandon nods.

“Do you have children?” Brandon askes which as much of an acceptance as he will give.

“Four daughters.” Oberyn muses he bounces Rhaenys. “You remember me, don’t you?”

“MMMMhhh I don’t know.” Rhaenys says making us laugh.

“I am you best most favorite uncle.” Oberyn promises.

“No.” Benjen says quickly making Brandon laugh.

“Oberyn this is Benjen, Brandons little brother.” I introduce.

Brandon mutters something under his breath and kisses me. “I abandoned your brother when I heard Aegon, I should find him.” He says he takes Aegon with him.

“Who is the boy hiding behind you?” Oberyn asked.

“This is Jon Snow.” I say leaning down to kiss Jon’s head.

Benjen was worried about Oberyn’s reaction but I knew better Oberyn had four bastards of his own he would not be angry at a innocent child for being a bastard.

“What about you? Do you want to be tossed by you uncle?” He askes and Jon goes running to him.

We play with the children and chatter for awhile until it is time for the feast. Brandon is cautious to watch how much Oberyn is flirting with Catelyn while I get to speak to my big brother.

“Will I have to convince you of my love for Brandon as well?” I ask him and he smiles.

“No, I can tell by how you look at him. I knew he was inlove you by how he talks about you, he cannot even say your name without smiling. I was a little worried about Rhaenys and Aegon until he ran to your sons aid at his cry, I am so glad you are happy Elia.” He promises as he takes my hand.

“And how are you and your children and wife?” I ask.

“The children are well my wife has resigned herself to different chambers then mine.” Doran admits.

“I am so sorry.”

“Do no be you are a wonderful sight for sour eyes, I am so happy to see you safe and well I will take the joy home with me.” He promises.

We watch Oberyn dance with different northern girls as they all but make a line. Benjen and Brandon are talking to my brother’s head guard and examine his spear talking about the craftsmenship and it makes me smile.

I turn to my brother who moves his goblet of northern wine away from him.

“What did you and Brandon talk about for so long?” I ask.

“You of course, your happiness and how much we both love you. He apologized to me for what happened with that horrible man.”

“What did you say?” I asked nervously Brandon felt terrible about that and I would hate for it to become worse.

“That it was not his fault but I did expect him to learn from it and of course I have decided to give him a dowry for you because I appreciate him protecting you and your children when I could not.” He admits.

“That is very sweet.” I tell him it would help with the costs of the moat as well and could be the answer to our problems.

“I asked if he would use it to build the rest of his fortress and he said though the money would free him up to spend his money on the fortress without worrying about bankruptcy he wants to keep this gold for Alarra so he will not leave his daughter bankrupt for her own rule.” Doran said and my eyes widen.

“He considers Alarra his heir?” I asked softly.

“Why should he not? Even in these less educated parts of westeroes the law clearly states a man’s daughter will inherit before a mans brother.” Doran wisely reminds.

“That law is overturned more often then it is upheld.” I remind we did not have to worry about such things in Dorne no one thought Dorans son the heir because Arianne was older and that was that.

“I believe that husband of yours is not any ordinary man.” Doran says.

We leave the feast as it gets late Doran has already retired and I assume Oberyn is probably off with a new lover.

“I think I am too thrilled to sleep!” I admit to Brandon as he carries me up the winding stairs. My hand runs against his firm chest the other around the back of his neck rubbing it gently.

“I thought you would say that.” He tells me as he puts me down I am confused he usually carries me into our rooms but he puts me down outside the door, then I realize this is not the outside of our bedroom I was to lost in his wild eye to notice before he smirks though I am skeptical I open the door to see my brothers sitting by the fire Benjen is also there with a pitcher of wine. Sitting by a chair another one sits empty waiting and I am so happy for the chance to talk to them away from all those other people I kiss Brandon’s cheek.

“You must sit down at least.” Brandon said worried as ever about me tiring myself out, I knew he was happy to stand in the background, but I wanted him to join in on the fun.

“You sit down, I will sit on your lap.” I tell him he looks at me skeptically but follows as I gently tug on his hand to follow me. No doubt Brandon would have killed a man for having Lyanna on his lap but we were Dornish and used to passion and affect, I was pretty sure Doran and I saw the beginnings of Sarella and when we were children Doran and Melliaro were so in love they could not help steal touches and kisses. It always brought a smile to Oberyn and I’s young faces we were happy he was so in love we wanted that ourselves.

Brandon was hesitant at first but relaxed seeing my brothers were not offended in the slightest soon his arms wrapped around me. We all laughed and told stories by the fire and had a wonderful time. We talk for hours late into the night. Benjen’s favorite stories were Oberyns. Brandon and Oberyn discussed battles and fighting, Doran told riddles and puzzles we had to decipher, Benjen liked best to talk about his brothers and their many achievements while I always ended up talking about my children, which lead Oberyn, Doran and Brandon to do the same. Benjen was the first to retire tired of all the baby talk.

“I am not sure any other child has ever been such a gifted rider but Rhaenys has the natural talented for it and the heart she truly loves every animal she sees.” Brandon tells my brother as I tiredly cuddle into his chest my eyes are heavy

“You let her ride would you let her fight?” Oberyn asked.

“I would teach her if she wanted so she could protect herself but she is so good hearted I don’t think I could take her into battle I don’t think I could even bare to see her married I might kill the shit who tries to take my little girl.” Brandon says making them laugh. “Your both fathers you must understand?”

“My girls can do anything they would like and anyone.” Oberyn says with a shrug.

“It is a natural part of life growing and young love, I find joy in it. I want my daughter to be as happy as you two, I see you holding my little sister like you are two parts of one whole and I am so happy for it.” Doran says.

“Well your better men then me, I am liable to head-butt the first man to touch Rhae.” Brandon admits.

“I sort of like this about you.” Oberyn laughs.

I am happy and comfortable listening to the men I love talking and bonding as I am warm in Brandon’s arms feeling his heartbeat against my chest.

I hear snippets Doran wants his chief to make a traditional Dornish meal for everyone before they go to Kingslanding, Oberyn wants to take Benjen to a brothel, Doran would like us to visit Dorne. This thought stays with me as I drift off.

_Images fill my head of watching Brandon, and Benjen play with the children in the water pools, showing my children the beautiful proud land I come from, seeing my nieces and nephew again and all the wonders of Dorne. Then it changes to thoughts of Brandon and I, showing him how we would lay on the marble floors to keep cool when it is really hot, having him taste the fruits we grow in dorne he would find exotic, showing him how easy it is to undo dornish dresses, taking a bath with him to fight the heat. I could see him there kissing me again touching me again making me call out his name in utter bliss and then he began saying my name._

_“Elia, Elia, Elia!” huskily as we get closer it makes me cry out his name all the more and hold onto him so tightly._

“Elia!” I hear mixed with gentle shaking wakes me up I see Brandons concerned face. “My brothers!” I say mortified until I realize I am back in my bed in our chambers.

“We said good night I carried you to bed long before you began…dreaming.” He says with a light chuckle he is turned on his side with messy hair I want to touch his face as he shaved before the feast and I am not used to seeing him without his beard. “They might be alright with you snuggled into me, but something tells me that they would mind more.” He says with that perfect smile.

I cannot help myself anymore I have to touch his smooth face to see how it feels.

“Do you like it?” He askes it makes him look so young but not as rugged.

“I actually like your beard; I had not thought I would at first.” I admit softly.

“No?” He askes with a grin we could barely stand each other at first a marvel how far we have come by both just giving a little bit and growing together.

I blush and look down before looking back at his curious eyes and saying.” I like they way it looks…and feels.” I say feeling the deep heat in my cheeks there is something in his eyes I cannot quiet tell in the dark what it is.

“Well, there will be time for it to grow back before I can touch you again.” He says finally and I feel a deep disappointment in my chest.

He must have seen my disappointment he starts playing with my hair soothingly before kissing my head which only frustrates me more. “Are you hungry, thirsty, cold?” He askes helpful as ever and I cannot be angry with my sweet husband I shiver a little bit without my stark baby in my belly I am no longer constantly hot.

“I am a little cold; would you cuddle with me?” I ask softly.

“Anything for you.” He promises carefully moving me into his arms. I sleep on Brandon’s chest all the time, but I cannot find any rest. I look up at him to see he is staring down at me completely awake.

“Brandon?” I ask softly.

His hand touches my face. “What is it sweetheart?”

“Will you kiss me, please.” I ask softly I feel an unexpected vulnerability at this request, but I do not want him to say no. I do not know what to say if he does.

“Alright.” He says he easily pulls me high up on his and I almost want to sigh at the feeling of his hand on my thigh. He leans up as I lean downs are lips gently meet his kiss is soft and innocent and ends as quickly as it starts but that is not what I need from him and instead of saying so I decide to show him. I move down to him slowly my lips part a little before even reaching his. I start by sucking on his lip between mine. His hand goes to my cheek keeping near to him as my head tilts to what I know to be the best angle for me to kiss him at. His tongue curls in my mouth and his kiss is hot and warm and just what I want we kiss for so long I wonder if our lips will be bruised in the morning.

Brandon finally pulls back. “My love this is uncharacteristically cruel of you.” He muses confusing me as I do not understand his meaning. “It is cruel to kiss me and make me mad with desire when I cannot have you.” He sighs one hand rubs my thigh. “Its bad enough to hear you calling my name in your sleep wanting enough to make me burst.”

“You can have me.” I counter trying to kiss him again, but he stops me.

“As badly as I want you, I will not take you to soon after you gave birth to our daughter. I am not Rhaegar I will always do right by you.” He says softly.

“Nan said we could begin to try for a baby again as long as it did not hurt when I put my hand against my womanhood.” I told him softly

“What if putting another baby on you to soon is what made you almost die with Aegon? Besides, I am happy if Alarra is our only child I have every confidence our girl can rule the north.” He tells me so sweetly.

“I want to give you more children Brandon, I want you to have a big northern family of our dreams, our daughters birth was easy perhaps so will the next besides it took a while to conceive Alarra it will take time for the next.” I say I see that look in his eyes again and closer I can see it is lust.

“Alright just promise me to tell me if you hurt.” He says.

“I promise I promis-“ I begin as I lean down to kiss him again to have that wonderful sensation but Brandon is past the point of kisses he needs more. He flips us so he is over top of me careful to hold his weight on his knees as his hands go to my loose dress, he already undid the lacing of my corset so I could sleep comfortably.

First his hands move over the silk slowly making my breath hitch in expectation. His hands grasp the light grey fabric lined with white fur, his hand move past the blue beading to the proud direwolf. “I love it when you wear Stark colors.” He whispers in that husky voice of his.

“I do it for you, when I get dressed I think of how you will look at me if I wear this or that, I love the way you look at me.” I admit quietly as he slowly pulls the fabric from my body.

“Go on.” He growls his eyes locked on me as he gives a good yank that has me gasp.

“I like the way your eyes follow me when Catelyn and I are dancing. I like the way you bite your lip when I first come into a room when you want me.”

“I always want you.” He promises throwing my dress to the floor examining me I should be nervous I just had a baby and he has not seen me naked in awhile but the look of desire in his eyes tells me I have nothing to fear and the way he licks his lips bring heat to between my thighs.

“You’re so beautiful Elia.” he mutters against my neck. It makes me realize my direwolf necklace is not their I have to feel over to the side table to make sure it is there happy to feel it against my palm. Brandon brings my hand to his chest.

“I am going to need all your attention love.”

“I had to make sure its safe, I love wearing your sigil against my chest when I touch it I think of you, sometimes I think it evens gives me some of your strength.” I tell him I would not let them take it off of me when I gave birth.

Brandon smiles sweetly for a moment before his eyes go to my chest. His hands move around my body one moves up my thigh the other goes to my breast before I move it down to my butt without thinking, Brandon is happy enough with it he squeezes it lightly as I attack his lips once more. Brandon kiss me for a time before stopping I feel his hand rubbing against my ribs.

“Please?” He askes hoarsely.

“Gently.” I tell him softly deciding it is unfair to keep him from my breast while I still have them, they are just painfully sensitive lately. I am surprised how nice it feels when his hands gently rub them it makes the tenderness feel better and more pleasurable to me than ever.

“Don’t stop.” I mummer softly with that he brings his lips to one thoroughly rubbing the other.

“Careful.” I warn him he seems to take that as softer and does so but as I fear my breast start leaking on him.

“I’m sorry I can’t control it-“ Begin frantically trying to sit up to grab something to cover them but his firm hands stop me as he lick the milk up not startled by it at all the feeling relaxes me.

“I must admit.” He begins leaving little kisses all over my breasts. “I found it wildly unfair to have to watch you take these out and not be able to touch them, don’t get me wrong I find it heart warming to watch you feed my child but as ridiculous as it maybe I found it thoroughly unfair I am the one unallowed to touch them.” He says making me giggle as he continues his kisses before looking back up at me.

“A little more?” He askes and all I can do his nod my approval he goes to the other breast sucking hard enough to get more milk to run out and he laps it up once more. “It’s sweet like you.” He whispers softly.

Brandon goes away from my breast making me make an absurd whiny noise that makes Brandon smirk.

He is back up on his knees and moves between my thighs, he looks over me carefully as he inserts his fingers looking for any sign of pain. He starts with two which has me gasping in pleasure as he pumps them in and out of me. My hips move in rhythm with his thrust, I lean back as the orgasm hits me.

“That’s my girl.” Brandon says huskily adding a finger as come out of a maddening hot orgasm I struggle to catch my breath as he continues, he watches my breasts heave but never lets up on his rapid pace.

“Now you.” I tell him desperate for him.

“Not yet love.” He tells me making me pout. He removes his fingers.

“I need to taste you Elia its been so long and the sent alone is heady.” He says getting down and throwing my legs over his back. My feet rub against his strong back and my fingers pull at his hair as he feasts between my thighs.

“Brandon, Brandon Brandon!” I cry out I cannot stop my hips from thrusting at him as I feel the heat rising and know my climax is near. Brandon practically encourages my hips rolling using it to deepen his tongues thrusts.

It feels like something breaks inside me but there is no pain only pleasure as it washes over me I babble incoherently as he finishes lapping at my arousal. Once I catch my breath I grap his wrist getting his attention as he begins undoing his trousers.

“Lay down.” I instruct.

“Are you alright do you feel alright?” He asks worried.

“I am better then alright but before we start I want to-“

“Elia I need you or I will explode.” He almost growls I cannot help but giggle.

“I want to make you feel how you make me feel, please.” I say with a pout Brandon struggles to say no to me when I pout at him.

“If I am spent-“ He begins.

“I will revive you.” I promise and with that he lays on his back I undo his trousers giddy.

I lick the tip hard before engulfing it making him groan, I suck on it with force while my hand messages his sack, he moans my name. He is entirely tense as though forcing himself to be utterly still, I decide to see how much of his impressive girth I can take in which makes Brandon howl like a wolf.

He can no longer stop himself and thrusts into my mouth at first it makes me gage and move up a bit but I am curious about it and begin bobbing my head to see if I can get him to do it again he does this time it is much more manageable his hands tangle in my hair as he does so again and again as slowly as he can force himself before he climaxes and the peculiar taste fills my mouth.

“Sorry.” He says breathing as I move off of him.

“I kind of like it, it’s sour like a dornish red.” I tell him making him smile but he groans when I lick him off my lips.

“Come her love.” He says with half lidded eyes I move to cuddle him deciding if this is all we do tonight it is more then enough but I am happily surprise when he grab my torso and pulls me up so my breasts are to his head he buries his face there. I moan at his many kisses and this seems to help him so I call out his name he groans and kisses at my breasts encouragingly, so I continue.

I decide to admit a little secret to him. “When I touched my womanhood I though of you how good you make me feel there.” Brandon makes no noise and stops kissing my breasts and I begin to feel embarrassed when he flips me on my back.

“Is this how you want it?” I asked longing to have him any which way so he might as well decide.

“The first time at least.” He says and rubs is hard member against me until I scream.

“You say things like that to me love and we can go all night!” He promises before pushing inside of me we both make pleasured noises, but I cannot help but think who right and whole I feel when we are together like we are two parts of a whole. I am so overwhelmed with finally getting what I have long desired and dreamed about I the rush of my climax hits me so quickly and roughly I spasm in Brandon’s arms clinging to his body.

“I got you.” He promises in my ear he gets me to my peak again before he changes positions turning me onto all fours and pushing back into me after my last orgasm he has to practically hold me up as he finishes we collapse onto the bed tired. Brandon laughs saying it must be morning but we lay down anyways.

He pulls me to him, and I smile as I warn him. “I am all sticky.”

“I predict I will be all sticky soon.” He teases and I am sure he is right my legs are already snaking around his leg.

“Will you take a bath with me in the morning?” I ask softly.

“As soon as your maids break down the door.” He teases as I lay my head on his chest.

“It’s snowing.” Brandon says softly he says he can hear it but it is still surprising to me how he always seems to know.

“I love you Brandon.”

“I love you too Elia.” He promises before we drift off only to be interrupted soon after by my maid knocking on the door.

The rest of my brothers stay is wonderful, but they eventually must go to Kingslanding before the weather gets bad. It is a very hard goodbye because we were only just reunited but Brandon promises they can come to Winterfell anytime they like. I was very sad to see them go but Brandon held me for hours and kissed away my tears.

In the months to come Brandon explains the harvest feast and why all his lords must come for it. It is at this event he names Ned the Lord of the moat and gives him the duty of protecting the north from its south boarder. In the end he is given the name Greystark as a younger Stark brother has taken before.

Benjen is sits by his lady Berena all night talking and laughing Lord Hornwood told Brandon he would be honored to marry his sister to Benjen Stark, his wife Donella offers Benjen to stay at new castle with her brother lord Manderly and though I will be sad to see him go Brandon decideds Benjen needs to see more then just Winterfell.

The feast is lively and the northern lords are in high cheer seeing their lord proudly show them his daughter. Alarra slept in her papa’s arms as if soothed by the northern lords cheering for her. The children ran around merrily playing as lord after lord professed their love and loyalty for the Starks.

“TO LORD STARK!” they cheer loudly.

“To Alarra Stark may she be a strong healthy Northern lass!” Other cheers and they all join in chanting her name.

I stood proudly at Brandon’s side my dress showed the little bump of our new child Brandon had been terrified when I told him I was already pregnant again but I reminded him we are the Starks and we will survive this Winter and many more to come.

I took Brandon’s hand as a large man called the GreatJon shouts. “To Lady Stark a true and noble lady who blooms again with our Lords child and if the gods are good a son and heir!” He shouts and the others chant for me.

“We may survive winter, but do you think we can survive all this unnecessary praise?” Brandon teases in my ear.

I squeeze his hand lightly. “With you by my side I think I could survive anything.” I promise him and he kisses me there infront of all his lords with our baby girl in his arms and another babe in my belly, the lords hoot and holler but in that moment we are the only ones in the great hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its a really gushy chapter and I am ok with that!
> 
> The Martells are united!
> 
> To me Doran would be easier to see Brandon's good qualities where Oberyn would need to be convinced by Elia.
> 
> Had to throw in one more love scene before the time jump!
> 
> Please let me know what you think and thanks for reading!


	29. Life

Chapter 29: Life

The river crackles as the water rushes over the rocks, the sun shines brightly on the north today. I take the fish off my pole and hit it against the rock before throwing it into the basket. I do not go fishing often, when I was staying at Riverrun the men want to go fishing all the time and it becomes such a bore. That was long ago. Today was the right day for it, with the right Companions.

“Papa!” Aegon cries excitedly I look over at him a happy healthy boy of 10, every day he looked more like a Targaryen prince but everyday he was more Stark too.

“That’s it Aegon!” I told him excitedly as I went to him as he pulled in his own fish. I took his pole so he could grab it off the end.

“I caught one!” He said happily!

“Nice Silver! Hold it by the lip just like that!”

“Can I put it in the basket.” He asks happily.

“Of course!” I tell him proudly.

The first thing people noticed about Aegon was his alarming purple eyes and Ludacris silver hair but once they knew him how good he was like his mother how very Stark he was becoming, how he was my boy they found themselves loving him like I did.

“ARRH!” Jon cries and I turn to him quickly thinking I need to jump into the water after him but instead my younger boy is standing there with a snapped line and watery eyes.

“It is alright Jon.” I promise going over and ruffling his hair, but he is still upset.

“Jon…You must have had the biggest fish ever on your line!” Aegon says and Jon smiles. “It must have been massive, your lucky not to be in the water!” Aegon says and now Jon is astonished.

“Do you think we can see it!” Jon askes looking into the water.

“Maybe.” Aegon says looking with him I pat Aegon’s back he is such a good boy.

I turn when I hear horse hooves coming this way I instinctively step in front of my boys even though there are stark guards with us. I see the nights watchmen and wave him through he rides over to the river and gets off his horse letting it drink from the river.

“Lord Stark, apologies for interrupting your leisure time.”

“A man of the nights watch is always a welcome sight; I assume the Lord Commander agreed to come to Winterfell.” I say I assumed he would be relieved at my invitation. A show that I took his concerns about the wall seriously.

“He has m’lord.”

“Good, we have much to discuss. Join us at Winterfell to rest before your journey.”

“Thank you m’lord.” He says softly.

We go back to Winterfell the boys happily take the basket to the kitchen to show off their good work my children are truly the joy of Winterfell and people smile at them as they hurry by.

I look over to Rhaenys leaving the stables I don’t know when it happened exactly but it is as though I took my eyes off my sweet girl for one moment and she grew into a young lady. She was twelve and had long black hair kept back in a simple tie so it would not wipe in her face when she rode, she had her mother’s brown skin but bright purple eyes like her brother, aside from the eyes and their heart shaped faces the two Targaryen’s could not look more different. Rhaenys lived in riding dresses and never found an animal she could not love, her room was filled with wild cats she has tamed and she was doing her best to spoil the sheep dogs. Elia thought I needed to be firmer with her but it was hard when Rhaenys just exudes love in the way that Elia does but Rhaenys could also be tough I liked to think that was from me.

“Well anything yet?” I asked her as she came up to me.

“No this foal is taking its time.” She sighs annoyed.

“Well these things do take time.” I tell her as we walk.

“Really? It seems to take no time for you and mother.” Rhaenys snarks.

It was true Elia had a much easier time having my babies then Rhaegars. One night She and Benjen speculated that it was a Targaryen thing they named all the Targaryen brides they could name that died in childbirth. Childbirth is dangerous and often deadly, but it did seem to more than normal. They continued to add to this theory, but I did not. I knew next to nothing about childbirth, but I knew enough about horses to know not to look a gift horse in the mouth and I was sure I was very blessed when it came to my wife and the children she bore me.

“You cannot start sassing me now.” I tell her.

“No?” she teases.

“No, you’re my eldest daughter that means you have to love me, always laugh at my jokes, take care of me when I am old and sickly.” I tease her back.

“And make sure your _heir_ does not smother you in your sleep?” She teases Elia did not like the dark humor, but I had to I knew she got it from me.

“Exactly now you get it.” I tell her.

“You should have considered that before you went fishing with Aegon and Jon instead of ridding with me one of the few times you are free.” She pouts.

“I go ridding with you all the time.” I remind. “I don’t think I have gone fishing since before I met you.” She does not smile though that was my intention.

“Not today. I need to practice everyday if I am going to be as good as you.” She tells me. I knew Ned thought it blasphemes that I let my children talk back to me but I feel they should fight for what they believe in. Rhaenys is a smart girl who presents her points firmly but gracefully and deserve to be heard out.

“Alright.” I agreed. I look around the passing guards to find one I trust enough. “Jory!” I call and he comes over.

“My Lord.” He says with a nod before nodding to Rhaenys. “Lady Rhaenys.”

“You are to gather a group of guards and accompany lady Rhaenys on a ride.”

“Yes your lordship.” Jory said he was a great lad I was about to threaten his life about protecting her when Rhaenys grabbed my arm.

“ I don’t want to go ridding with him I like ridding with you.” She says sweetly. I smile I cannot stay mad at her not when she would rather spend time with me then a young man closer to her age. I think how different she is from Lyanna, I hate comparing them so much so that I would not let her give Rhaenys Lyanna’s old riding boots I had new ones made for her because I could not bring that old hardache back, still Lyanna was the only 12 year old I had really known until now and there is no way she would rather ride with her father then ride away with some man, I pushed all that away.

“Before dinner we will go ridding.” I promise and she hugs me happily I just hold her for a moment holding onto this moment with her wishing she would just stop growing up.

“Thank you papa.”

“Of course, I love you sweetling, I am less fond of you Jory keep moving.” I say making Rhaenys giggle.

Rhaenys darts after a cat and I go up to the gallery to watch Aegon and Jon training in the yard under Benjen’s tutelage. Benny grew up to he was not a boy anymore he has been all around the North even over the wall and now he is the Master of arms. They could not ask for a better teacher.

I watch Alarra at only seven march up to her uncle Benjen with the steel of a commander. Of my children she looks the most like me, dark brown hair, paler skin, dark grey eyes like stone, people use to say she looked like her aunt and I would watch Elia resist the urge to pull her baby back from those people.

They were wrong she just looked like a stark besides she had her mother’s noes and face shape. She walked straight to him in her blue dress arm and arm with her sister though a little ahead of her because Alarra had to be the boss, Benjen and Ned always comment that she got that from me.

Myriah is just a year younger than Alarra and the only daughter of mine unfortunate enough to get the long stark face. She was already a little taller than Alarra to her big sisters’ frustration. She has her mother’s warm skin and black eyes and my nose, brown hair, and temper. She was not in a dress she hated dresses instead she wore a flimsy skirt with trousers underneath and one of the boy’s old boots and white undershirt. I guessed Aegon he would give it to his roudy sister if she even asked. It was Elia’s turn to pick the babies name and I thought it odd she chose her ancestor who married a Targaryen king until she told me that both of our family trees had Myriah’s on them we just spelled it differently. She loved it since Myriah was truly a mix of the two of us though somehow, she got both of our stubbornness.

“Master of Arms.” Alarra greets making Benjen chuckle.

“What happen to uncle?” He asked.

“If you let Myriah train with the boys I will call you uncle again!” She says in her sweetest voice which makes me laugh.

“She is only a little thing she could get hurt.” Benjen says.

“I want to be like Nymeria!” Myriah says.

“Do you want to be Nymeria?” Benjen askes Alarra.

“No, I want to be like Meria she was a wise strong leader who fought off the horrible Targaryens-“

“I have done nothing to you!” Aegon reminds with a grunt as he and Jon practice.

“Not you your fine!” She hollers back.

“I am sorry girls she is just too little.” Benjen says.

“But girls get to fight in Dorne and I am half Dornish!” Myriah shouts.

“When Aegon and Jon were her age they had wooden swords!” Alarra reminds.

“She can have my old wooden sword.” Aegon says. “Ow!” He says as Jon hits him.

“Aegon pay attention! Jon don’t hit your brother when he isn’t paying attention, on second thought do it might remind him to stop talking.” Benjen says making the boys laugh as their training swords clank.

Benjen looks up at me and I nod.

“Alright I will find you a wooden sword but if I find out your hitting your siblings with it I will take it away.” Benjen says she nods happily.

I go into Winterfell I hear baby Don before I see him with those powerful lungs of his. I turn up the staircase to the rooms saved for members of our household. That’s where I meet Berena desperately bouncing her baby.

“Sorry Lord Stark he won’t stop, and I thought going on a walk could help.” She says.

“That sound is always welcome in this Castle Berena and call me Brandon.” I tell her.

“GO AWAY!” I hear screeched from bellow by Rhaenys.

“PAPA SAYS YOU ARE THE ONE WHO WANTED A SISTER!” Alarra yells back never one to give into a challenge.

“WELL NOW I WISH YOU WERE A STUPID BOY!” Rhaenys shouts back I sigh.

“That sound I could do without.” I say turning to see why the girls are fighting it usually takes a lot to test Rhaenys patience but her sisters are well versed at it.

“I will go see what is going on, you go see her she could use you.” Berena says.

“How is she?” I ask worried.

“The same as usual.” Berena says passing me by with her boy. “It’s her poor mother who needs you. She says she is fine, and she does it well but nothing pains a mother like a sick child.”

She was wise for such a young girl I decide as I head into the room where I know Elia will be. My wife is there with our youngest in her arms she is singing to softly neither of us are big singers, but it seems to help Ashalyn’s scattered breaths. All the other children were healthy but Ashalyn got Elia’s frail health. I watched the woman I love as she rocked and sang to our daughter, she was such a good mother and after all these years we were still madly in love even though Ashalyn was our last baby. It was too hard on Elia worrying about her all the time feeling like she failed her because she had the same fragility that Elia has. Ashalyn was over a year old now but it was several months ago that Elia asked me how I would feel about moon tea and I agreed to it I could not ask for more children Elia had given me all my wonderful children.

I kissed Raya’s head when I entered the room, she was four now and was the sweetest child she was rarely away from Elia’s side she happily played with her dolly’s. Of all our children Raya looked the most like Elia infact she was her little twin.

Elia’s eyes looked up at me and she smiled gently as she finished her song I kissed her cheek and combed through Ashalyn’s hair with my hand.

“How do you sweetheart?” I ask she had been well when I had left running around with her sisters on this beautiful warm day. Elia had been so happy.

“Just over did it that’s all.” Elia promised Ashalyn is gently pulling at Elia’s hair and it makes Elia smile as she rocks her, I could not ask for a better mother of my children. Elia’s first Northern Winter was a short one but bitterly cold she had Rhaenys, Aegon, Jon, and Alarra sleep in our bed for warmth she was big with Myriah at the time and I had such trouble sleeping because I would rather stay awake and watch them all nestled up safe and secure in their mothers arms. I have always loved my Dornish princess but it was in moments like that I saw Elia for the mother wolf she was and it brought me nothing but joy.

“She just needs to rest.” Nan agrees from where she knits in the chair. Elia nods and puts her down in the cot. I look at little Asha she looks a lot like her mother too she has her black hair though it’s wavier then curly yet.

She has fluttering eyes as soon as she is down, I kiss her head. I feel as though I prayed away her first year of life asking the old gods to let us keep her to not take her from us to soon. Elia was worried all the time even allowed another woman to breast feed her in hopes she had healthier milk. I understood it was best we do not have any more children I could not imagine going through that again or putting Elia through it. It meant Alarra would be wardenness of the North and I was good with that. In fact, I was starting to think it was a joke from the gods that I with all my past heartbreaking ways would only have daughters. After all they seemed to be taunting Oberyn with the same jest.

“You need a nap too.” Elia says going to Raya.

“Okay mama!” Raya says happily she is easily our most agreeable child. I pick her up and put her in bed, Elia kisses her head. “I love you mama I love you papa.”

“We love you too.” Elia promises.

“So so so much.” I tell her I look at Ashalyn she is sound asleep but even as a babe she barely cried she did not have the energy.

I pull Elia out of the room into the hallway where I can just hold her for a moment. “I am so lucky to have you as the mother of my children you are the most wonderful mother that little girl is lucky to have you, we all are.” I promise.

“Its hard to see her suffer.”

“She is not suffering she is only tired.” I tell her that’s what Luwin told us and I have to believe it is true, Elia says sometimes when she is really faint, she gets headaches but is usually just exhausted.

“Thank you.” Ellia says sometimes she needs the reminder, sometimes she just needs held. We stay like that for awhile after all this time my love for Elia is still growing everyday, I think I cannot love her more until I do.

“You smell like fish.” She teases finally.

“I will clean before dinner.” I promise.

She smiles at me. “See that you do my love.”

Informal dinners are my favorite so we can all just be together. Ashalyn softly cooed on my lap. Elia had been fussing over her at first, but she was more relaxed now listening to Jon talk about fishing. They had such a close bond you would think that Elia bore him herself. It was odd to me she knew his parents were the two people she had the most reason to hate in all the world and she gave him nothing but love.

Aegon and Rhaenys bickered back fourth while Rhaenys had to Mother Raya who was next to her. Alarra and Myriah were laughing and giggling even though they could not be more different. Elia says they are exactly like she was with her brother constant companions even though they were vastly different.

“Where is Benjen and his family?” I ask Elia.

“Don is finally sleeping; I assume his tired parents are too.” Elia says and it makes me smile. Ashalyn was too weak to cry as a baby and Rayla was instantly soothed when anyone held her, the last time we had a screaming baby was almost 6 years ago, it’s a funny thing to miss.

“A man of the nights watch came to us while we were fishing.” I say and Elia looks at me nervously the King was still dead set on Aegon going to the nights watch as soon as he was 12, Jon Arryn was a bit more reasonable with 16 and even Ned did not have a problem with that. I watched Aegon instead of cutting Myriah’s meat for her he was showing her how to which she appreciated. He was a good happy boy who was quick to smile, I was not ready for the nights watch to harden him. He did not deserve to suffer for his father’s mistakes he already had the misfortune on having an infamous name and bad reputation it was unfair to take the future he could make for himself away.

Rhaenys they were less concerned about because she would change her name when she married which they endorsed so long as it was someone they approved which of course meant she was not to marry a man of importance I wrote back that she was only a girl of twelve they were ready for their to be one less Targaryen but Elia and I would not be those parents who marry their daughter off to young. Elia would not let Lord Hornwood marry his sister to Benjen until the girl was a little older which I was glad for but the suggestion to do such a thing to Rhaenys had left me in a rage.

“Darling?” Elia askes and I kiss my little daughters head, Elia named her for two women she admired, even with Elia’s own delicate health she was the woman I admired the most in the world which made me think she would be alright, in fact I would make sure they all were.

I pull Elia close and kiss her head the boys and Rhaenys groan but Alarra and Myriah giggle. “I was just thinking how much I love you all and that there is nothing I would not do to keep you safe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter was very nerve racking to write but I wanted to focus on Elia and Brandon's growing family and getting to see a little but of who each of the kids are. Hope you enjoyed it please let me know what you think and thank you so much for reading!!!


	30. Watch

  
Chapter 30: Watch

I sit at my vanity as I brush my daughter’s hair while Raya happily hums. I cannot help but smile, I love being a mother.  
“TAKE IT BACK!” Alarra yells throwing a pillow at Myriah who dodges it and laughs mockingly at her sister.  
“Tell your husband to make me!” Myriah says and Alarra runs to grab her. Even when they are wild messes they are my wild messes and I love them.  
“Girls behave we are always a team, like papa says.” I remind them I glance at Ashalyen on the bed her sisters fighting has not pained her in the least. She was used to living in a loud place with screaming children instead she happily cooed at the hound pup Rhaenys was showing her.  
Rhaenys was such a good big sister, she adored having little sisters and out numbering the boys. I was very proud of the young lady my daughter was becoming yet I felt for her so deeply. She was lucky enough not to look like a Targaryen like pour Aegon but she still felt the weight of Rhaegars shadow.   
After all Alarra, Myriah, Raya, and even little Ashalyen were drapped in silver and blue to be seen by the lord Commander when he arrived as proud Starks. I had made a lovely orange dress for Rhaenys Doran had sent beautiful laced suns with spears through them for her I added to the dress but I knew it had to be hard for her. She had been understandably sad until Brandon gave her a direwolf hair clip this morning, it had been his mothers she held it so dearly in her hands as he told her she would always be his first baby girl and kissed her head. He told her she could have a silver dress to if she wanted but she was happy with her hair clip. She wore it now and every time she touched it she smiled.  
“Why is the lord commander coming here?” Myriah asked she was not one to wear dresses and that was fine with both Brandon and myself but today she wore a simple blue skirt, white blouse and grey clock. I did not mind her being wild, bold, brave, and strong like her father I could not because she was so like Brandon and I loved him so dearly seeing our girl be like him always made me proud.  
“Because father is the Warden of the North and the most important lord in all of westeroes!” Alarra declares happily, I remember feeling like my father was the most important man in all the world and he was not even a lord he was just my papa. Alarra more than any of the girls was stamped with direwolves to remind them all this little girl was there future Lady Stark. Alarra and Myriah reminded me a lot of myself and Oberyn we were so different but the best of friends just like the two of them.   
“We are going to be on our best behavior for papa.” I remind.  
“Is the commmmenher coming now?” Raya asked as I let her down. “Would he like to play dolls?” She askes sweetly it might just be toddler kindess but I was pretty sure my Raya would be the sweetest girl all her life and I would do everything I could to keep the world from taking that from her.  
“No but Uncle Ned will be here soon with his family.” I say Myriah laughs and Alarra sighes.  
“Momma will you tell aunt Cat I am not going to marry her son!” Alarra pouts, Brandon says she pouts like I do.  
“Robb and Alarra under the Heart Tree-“ Myriah starts getting a glare from Alarra that could cut rocks. Even Rhaenys smiles at the jest.  
“I hate him!” Alarra says I take her hands in mine knowing Robb has never done anything bad to her they were both being pushed together by his parents both children were annoyed by it but he had to go along with it more then her, she was his only hope of being Lord of winterfell. Brandon tried to stop this since she was born he wanted Ned to be called Lord greystark but everyone called him Lord Stark of the Moat. Brandon had been attempting to make his child the only stark heir and even wanted to push it on his lords but I told him it was to late for that. We would have to convince everyone it was Alarra’s right over Robb’s though I had to admit the match mad sense and if he agreed she was the heir and he the spouse I could not see a reason against, two great people ruling the north. Brandon was the one Catelyn was trying to wear down into agreeing to the match.  
“I expect you to be a gracious host, being Lady will mean being kind to people you do not really like.” I tell her.  
“Okay mama” She agrees but she wrinkles her nose like her father and I kiss her head.  
“I like everyone.” Raya says happily making Rhaenys laugh.  
“Of course, you do Raya you are like sugar.” Rhaenys says.  
I pick up Ashalyn who is still cooing at the puppy and take her over to fix her hair she does not have much and it is gentle and easy like Brandon’s so it is easy to fix.  
Brandon bursts in as I am finishing up with Aegon in one arm and Jon in the other all laughing madly.   
“We are here my lady for your final approval.” Brandon says I hand Ashalyen to Rhaenys before going over to inspect them, Jon and Aegon are clean, with freshly cut hair and in the outfits I selected for them they are both in matching black outfits Jon’s has some grey aspects where Aegon’s had Orange it was luwin’s idea but I hated seeing my son in black knowing that horrid usurper wants him to go to the knights watch so soon. He is just a boy and it bring tears to my eyes and pain to my chest but I hold true to my husbands promise every night when he holds me he whispers in my ear promising he will not let them take our boy from us and I believe Brandon with all my heart. Anything he sets his mind to he does, and I need him to do this I cannot bear to lose Aegon or Jon for that matter. Ned pushes for him to go to the nights watch as well saying they will be safe their but I beg to differ.  
I smile and begin retying Brandons shirt laces he looks very handsome despite them. “Why my lord have you never learned to tie your shirt?” I tease he too wears Black, Grey, and blue looking like the great lord I know him to be.  
“My wife always redoes it.” He teases with a shrug before grinning. “Besides I like you close.” He teases he leans in to kiss me the children scream and eww as we do so.  
“Ned is here!” Benjen calls from the otherside of the door.  
“Come now, everyone on your best behaviors.” I remind taking Ashalyen. Brandon lets the boys down and instead takes Myriahs hand knowing her to be our loose cannon, Alarra takes him other hand being a daddy’s girl. Raya takes mine as she toddles with me the boys and Rhaenys talking amongst themselves as we walk.  
“Will other children be there?” Myriah askes.  
“Yes my love, Lord Bolton and his mother are coming with the Mormont’s and the knights watch, Lord Crewyn’s daughter is already here sleeping I am sure they arrived very late last night.” I say Brandon smirks because we were interrupted being intimate to go do our lord and lady duties welcoming them. It surprised and delighted me that I still aroused my husband after all this time he still grabs me up in his arms and tells me he needs me wild with desire.  
“Lord Manderly and Lord Hornwood will be arriving with uncle Ned, I don’t know if they are brining their grandbabies and baby though?” Brandon said.  
“It’s unlikely they would travel with them.” I agree. I still worry about Ashaleyn but Brandon assures me she is built to last like Winterfell. As much as I love being a mother I could not have seven children without him.  
We arrive in the court yard as everyone arrives guards and carriages and all.  
Catelyn steps out lovely as ever with Sansa in one hand and pulling Arya with the other. Robb walksnext to his mother and Ned gets down from his horse to join them. Ned picks up Arya and takes his wifes hand.   
Donella waves at me she looks so happily with her husband she has her young boy Darnly in her arms and near them is her father Lord Manderly he is their with his son and heir who seems to have left his wife and daughters at home notably he only has two daughters where everyone else seems to have brought their sons knowing Brandon only has girls.  
I mess with my hair nervously watching the beautiful woman coming towards us. “You look divine” Brandon says before kissing my cheek at this point sometimes I wonder if he can read my mind or if we are just two halves of one whole.  
Benjen and Berena are with us she is proudly rocking her son in the new clothes she made to show him off in and Benjen is smiling happily at the two of them. He whispers something in her ear that makes her blush their puppy love is terribly sweet but Brandon does not agree. I think Benjen will forever be ten in his eyes and that is sweet in it’s own way even though I know Benjen Stark as a man amongst me who has proven himself to the whole of the north if not Westeroes on his many journeys in the mountains, the neck and over the wall. As well as my dear friend he once promised me if nothing else he would take the boys to Essos where they would be safe from Roberts wraith should he decide to kill aegon or find out about Jon, but Benjen now had his own son to raise.   
Little Brandon or Don as he was affectionately called was happy in the arms of his mother he looked a lot like her with her light brown hair and freckles but Benjen’s laughing eyes. Nothing against Robb Stark or Catelyn but if one of my daughters had to marry a cousin I hoped it would be Ashalyen and Don.  
“My lord!” Ned says respectfully bowing lowly and everyone else follows suit.   
“Get up Ned!” Brandon says he hugs his brother as they all rise.  
“Lady Stark.” Ned says with a head nod though he is already moving to hug his little brother.  
“Lady stark!” Catelyn says happily curtseying beautifully.  
“Takes one to know one.” I tease making her laugh as I hug her, she kisses my cheek. My hhand touches her growing stomach.   
“Why did you not write me!” I ask she has been expecting for awhile now.  
“I wanted it to be a surprise.” She says happily.  
“Ned!” Catelyn quietly reminds he nods in agreement.  
“You remember my son and daughter, Robb go on then.” Ned says gesturing to the boy Catelyn pushes him forward and he rolls his eyes but reaches out for Alarra’s hand making Brandon chuckle.  
Alarra looks at me as if asking if she has to but she remembers our talk and gives him her hand. He pecks it for a second and she pulls it away as though he is on fire. Myriah laughs until Brandon nudges her.  
“They are so sweet together.” Catelyn says. It’s not just that she wants her son to be lord of Winterfell as once promised to her she wants our children to marry so we see more of each other and I cannot blame her for that.  
“Look at you.” Ned says while holding his nephew Don who whines and reaches for his mother.   
“Let me take the little ones in there is a chill in the air.” Catelyn says and Brandon nods she takes Ashalyen into her arms. “Hello sweet girl.” Catelyn says.  
“Come on girls.” Berena says and our daughters happily go.   
“You to lads.” Benjen tells Aegon and Jon.  
“I want to stay with you.” Aegon tells Brandon.  
Brandon looks out at the new arrivals and there men the way they stare at the Targaryen boy with his silver hair and purple eyes.  
“Go on in Silver.” Brandon said messing his hair. “I need you to make sure Ashalyen is alright and that aunt Cat does not marry Alarra off while im away.” Brandon teases quietly and Aegon smiles only a little bit.  
“Come on Egg.” Jon says pulling on his arm and Aegon though he is as stubborn as Brandon but he relents for his partner in crime. He lets Jon lead him away. We continue greeting our guests but both of us would rather be inside with our children.   
After greetings I get to escape to the nursery but poor Brandon is not so lucky and has to listen to his lords and their concerns.  
I walk in to find the children playing while the little ones are nestled in the ladies arms by the fire.   
“May I?” I ask Donella who happily gives me her boy Darny. “He is so handsome.”  
“I am just happy he is healthy.” Donella says relieved she has buried a child before and knows that pain. I felt as though I worried through most of Ashalyens young life that I would find her dead in her crib I do not know what I would do if I lost a child I need all seven of them to be happy.  
Don whines showing off his impressive lungs and Berena takes him back from Catelyn smiling at her son. No one more then me wanted Brandon to have a son, he was a great man and he deserved a son and heir I could not give him but he assured I already gave to him two sons and he was happy with the family we had.  
As I reached out and touch Don’s head I miss having babies even though my own baby is only more then a year, its odd to think she is our last though I know it is for the best.   
“He seems strong.” Catelyn remarks.  
“He is adorable.” I tell Berena.  
“Most days I have trouble getting him quiet unless my breast is in his mouth.” Berena says making us laugh.  
“Oh dear a screaming baby is a blessing and a headache, how is your husband now that he is a father? It changes a man for better or worse.” Donella says wisely.  
“Benjen is a wonderful father he adores Don, insisted we name him for his big brother, he never gets frustrated with the screaming he is always so gentle with him.” Berena admits.  
“And how is he with you?” Catelyn askes quietly and Berena’s pale face is inflamed red with her blush.   
“All through out the north he carries out his brothers justice.” Donella says.  
“I was surprised but very happy when I heard the Lone Wolf found a mate.” Catelyn teases.  
“Ladies please do not torment the girl.” I tell them.  
“Oh tell us something about him he does seem so very rugged.” Donella says.  
“He’s wonderful and tender and lovely.” She admits softly with a gentle smile.  
“Not a bad looking brother in the bunch those Starks.” Donella smirks.   
“Where are the boys?” I ask Catelyn sure they are playing somewhere but wanting to change the subject.  
“Out roughhousing in the yard but I told them none of them are allowed to get dirty until after the commander arrives then they can be pigs for all I care.” She says and I laugh.   
We turn to see the door open and the dowager lady Bolton comes in a simple Brown dress with her is her son. She has a hold of him as if cautious to be denied.  
“Please join us Lady Bolton.” I say kindly I knew what it was like to not know if you would be accepted because of my husband.  
“Thank you lady Stark, I was hoping to have a word with you.” She says softly.  
Her son looks up at her. “You said the boys would be here.”  
“Come on I bet we can find the boys while I talk to your mother.” I promise him handing Darnyl back to his mother.  
She is very quiet and only says pleasantries until we find the boys in the Godswood playing and running around Dominic looks at his mother.  
“Go my loved go play.” She tells him and with that he is off.  
“He is tall for his age.” I tell her.  
“He is not like his father not at all!” She says quickly.  
“I did not mean that.” I promise and she nods she was just protective of her child which I understood completely.   
We watch him jump in with the other boys all in their nice close fighting with sticks like they were knights instead of children.   
“Domeric is such a lonely boy he is so happy to be around other boys but there are no boys within an age of him at the dreadfort.” She says.  
“He is always welcome at Winterfell.” I promise and she nods her thanks but that was not what she wanted I could tell by her hesitation.  
“I asked him what he wanted for his last name day and he said he wanted a brother. See my horrible husband had a bastard son while he was still married to his last wife. Domeric desperately wants to meet him.” She admits.  
“If your asking for our permission to bring this boy into your home you need not, we completely understand. This boy is apart of Domeric like Jon is apart of Brandon. I understand your need to love him.”  
“No, I am afraid I am not like you my lady. I want nothing to do with this bastard boy.” She says and I cannot help looking at my beloved Jon.  
“Have you even met him?” I ask softly.  
“Yes, he is an….odd child. I know he is my responsibility so I have decided to have him fostered far from the Dreedfort just as Lord Hornwood did with his bastard.”   
“Alright I will not pretend to understand your choice but as long as you provide for his well being I accept it.” I tell her.  
“Not all of us have hearts as big as yours lady Stark. Both Donella and Catelyn wanted nothing to do with a bastard of their husbands, but that is not all I ask of you. I am having him fosted at Torheens square and I met Lord Tallharts brother.”  
“Leobald I remember.”  
“I call him Leo, with house Starks approval we would like to marry.” She admits with a smile.  
“I will talk to Lord Stark on your behalf, everyone deserves a second chance.” I promise.  
She is thanking me when something happens. Jon drops his stick and looks as though he is going to cry, and even more surprising Aegon jumps on Robb.   
We run over. “Aegon stop it! Stop it now!” I yell as I pull him off Robb.  
“ROBB!” I hear Catelyn cry as she comes towards us as fast as she can in her state. She calls for the maestor and the serving girls run to get him.  
“What were you doing?!” I ask.   
“We were just playing!” Jon cries.  
“That is not how we play and you both know that!” I tell them.  
“I was only playing.” Jon says through his tears and I look to Aegon for an explanation he has dirt on his face a scratch on his cheek and a bruised lip.  
“Aegon why did you tackle Robb?” I ask.  
“Does it matter why!” Catelyn asked frantic as she was cleaning her own child up.  
“We were pretending we were in battle and Jon said he was the lord of Winterfell and Robb said he could not be because he was a bastard and Jon’s face just…he was so sad and we were only playing why would he say that!” Aegon asked and I pulled both my boys close.  
Bethany took Domeric back towards the castle not wanting to get involved in a family squabble.  
I look to Catelyn. “Is Robb alright?” I ask.  
“He will be, it is not your fault.” Catelyn says.  
“What do you mean?” I ask confused.  
“Targaryen’s well you know how the saying goes.” Catelyn says simply.  
“Nothing is wrong with my son he was protecting his brother when your son told him he could not be lord of Winterfell while playing a game.” I tell her.  
She continues to brush her son off no rage ever appears on her face. “Well he was not wrong was he.”  
“Come on boys, lets go get cleaned before the commander arrives. Aegon you will right sentences first.” Luwin says firmly but fair as ever.  
“No Luwin no sentences today he was standing up for his brother and I think the Lord Stark would be very proud of that.” I tell him making Catelyn’s jaw drop.  
“You are not the kind of mother who wont allow her children to be punished when they have done wrong.” Catelyn says as Luwin hurries away with the boys.  
“Yes but he did not do wrong, your son did and I know he learned it from you.” I told her upset.  
“Elia I love you and I know you are so good hearted to love your husbands bastard, something I could not do. But you have to know he poses a threat to your daughter as Brandon’s son now he is calling himself lord stark, Alarra’s enemy has declared himself.” She tells me. 

I was still angry when the lord Commander arrived with his men. “Lord Damar Qourgles!” I said surprised to see a Dornish man here he was older then I remember his hair was white now and he had a beard but I still saw him as the great man I knew as a child.  
“Princess I am so honored to see you again and proud that a woman of such substance has became the lady of winterfell.” He says.  
“You know the lord commander?” Brandon asked with a smirk.  
“Oberyn was fostered with him as a boy.”  
“You cannot blame your brother on me.” He teases.   
“We are honored to have you at to have you at Winterfell Brandon says.  
Brandon takes the Lord Commander to his studies so that they can discuss the business so that has brought them together wildlings.   
Afterwards We honor the Lord commander with a feast the younger children are already in bed and I have made sure that there are guards we trust at all their doors. The Lord commander promises he is only brought the most trustworthy men but what I have heard of the night watch terrify's me to my very core. it only makes me worry more about Aegon. the only children still up are Rhaenys, Aegon, Domeric Jon and Robb.   
Donella and her husband dance even Berena pulls her lone wolf out to dance it is so sweet to watch how he looks at her like she is his everything they are truly so in love.   
I lean against Brandon’s shoulder and he kisses my head before sighing.   
“I hate that!” He says Jory has gotten up the courage to ask Rhaenys to dance.  
“She’s growing up.” I say.  
“To fast.” He says back and I have to agree.   
True to the lord commanders words the men he brought are well behaved just happy to eat and drink what Winterfell has to offer.  
“What did the lord commander want?” I ask while he is dancing with Catelyn.   
“He’s having trouble with the wildlings and I want more castles open. If we can get all our allies to send their prisoners we could do it but Ben makes a good point, they don’t fight together or have proper training he is going down to teach them how to train all their recruits.”  
I look at Benjen staring at his lovely wife.” Does he have to go to the wall so soon?”  
“It’s for the best love.” Brandon says right as Ned sits next to him.  
“I’m glad you understand that Brandon, Aegon is not a boy anymore it is time and you know this lord commander will watch over him.” Ned says misunderstanding the conversation.   
“He's a boy of 10? a mere child and you would send him off to his death at the wall?” Brandon asks my hand grips on Brandon’s shirt.  
“Don’t let them take him.” I ask softly.  
“I thought you were doing the right thing.” Ned says. “Aegon will always be a threat to Robert and indanger until he is sent to the wall the king will send an army if he has to!” Ned says  
“He will?” The soft voice behind me askes and I see my Aegon worried.  
“Let them come no one has ever taken the moat and of you wont hold it Benjen will!” Brandon says angry.   
“Both boys are safer at the wall.” Ned reminds.  
“Then send Robb.” Brandon says watching his brothers concerned look.   
“What not so easy when it’s your son!” Brandon growls.  
“Aegon is not your son not even your blood.” Ned says and Brandon hits him hard. Everyone turns to us and Brandon stands.  
“Please drink and be merry in our absense.” He says and takes my arm he grabs onto Aegon moving him with us and I extend my hand out for Jon to join us not wanting to leave him in rough company.  
The hall is silent as we walk I hear every step we make every rustle of wind.  
“If Aegon has to go to the wall I’m going too.” Job declares I smile at my brave boy how could catelyn not see the love Aegon gave him was returned ten fold.  
“Neither of you are ever going to the wall.”Brandon says. “Your both my boys no matter what any idiot says.”   
They are tucked in and kissed.  
“I am your boy?” Aegon asked softly.  
“Of course you are.” Brandon tells him before kissing his head.   
“I’m sorry your mad at lady catelyn.” Jon says softly.   
“That’s what mama wolves do if you snap at our pups we will bite you back.” I tell him kissing his head.  
We go back to our room frustrated at his brother at my friend at the world we live in for how they judge our children. We lay down in our bed and he pulls me close he whispers in my ear olds of protection that he will never let anything happen to our boys or any of our children for that matter.   
I finally feel safe and warm in his arms all the anger of washes off of me catelynn and that are not bad people they just don't understand. 

“I’m so lucky to have you Brandon you are my rock my love you have brought me everything I need in this world.” I tell him breaking through his anger.  
“I could say the same about you.” He mutters before kissing me slow and soft at first and then powerfully with great need.   
He rolls me over onto my back and moves over me kissing down my neck as one hand grabs at my breast and the other toys at my most sensitive area my hands rub into his back. “Brandon!” I sigh with pleasure and a deeper need his hands and lips are wonderful but I need him inside me to feel connected to him right now.  
“Lord Stark!” The voice at the door Holland as a hand bangs against it. Whine my disappointment but Brandon does not stop.  
“Go away!” He barks.  
“My lord urgent news from the king. “ he says he puts his trousers, boots and untied jacket on and curses as he leaves I put my robe on wondering if I should go to the children but Brandon is back soon enough and he is smiling.   
“What is it.” I ask he goes and sits in his chair. I join him in my own.  
“The Greyjoy’s are rebelling.” He says.  
“How is that good news?” I ask.  
“Because the king wants the north to go and I wrote him saying not a northern man or horse will go until he agrees Aegon is not to go to the wall now or ever and is fully pardoned for any crimes his father or grandfather did Rhaenys too.”   
I smile and move forward and kiss him.  
“I will write Doran-“ I say pulling away but he grabs me.  
“I already did Luwin is writing all the northern houses and a very apologetic Catelyn is writing her father.” Brandon promised  
“I love you.” I tell him softly.  
“I love you too know come here darling.” Brandon says one hand on my ass pushing me into his lap and the other undoing his trousers.   
My husband is a good man, leader, father, and lover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long break it was a hard chapter to write. Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think!


	31. War

Chapter 31: War

Robert conceded to my terms and wrote me agreeing my family would no longer be responsible for the crime of other Targaryens and that my son would have his life and my daughter could marry whomever we choose for her. That was the price of the combined strength of the North and Dorne.

Now I was on a warship with my brothers and our men headed to the ironislands for a man I did not believe in. That did not matter just as Elia and I had discussed before I left Winterfell.

_I had sat up at the first sign of light. The light told me the wonderful night I had with my beautiful wife was over and now I had to ready myself to leave her. My feet swung over the side of the bed but I did not stand instead I wondered when the next time I would be in my own bed with my lovely wife and all the many fur blankets she slept with._

_“No not yet!” She pouts I look back at her she still has her eyes close her hair is a wild mess and her glorious naked body before looking back to the window as the light shone in._

_I hear her movement before she wraps her arms around me from behind._

_“I hate that your going to war for that man, I hate that you and your brothers are risking your lives for him.” She says before she begins kissing on my neck. “But I know you are doing this for our children so they may be free to live and for that I will always be grateful my love.” She tells me Elia always knows what to say she continues kissing my neck and I decide the sun is just barely in the sky and I turn and grab her and pull her down on the bed getting on top of her. I smile excitedly but she looks desolate._

_“Come home to me?” She asks softly her voice trembles it is not just her its what happened to us neither one of us likes to be apart from the other for even small amounts of time, it’s like I always tell our children wolves are not suppose to fight on their own we are strongest as a pack but I do not tell Elia this now._

_“I will, I will always come home to you my love.” I promise. Mayhaps it was paranoia but I had already talked to my master of arms, master of horse, and maestor to tell them should anything happen to me Elia is to be lady regent until Alarra is old enough to rule on her own, Benjen promised me he would make sure that came to pass should I die. I was confident in the changes I had made to Winterfell guards now had to maintain in shape the fat lazy guards of my fathers were dismissed, there was wheat in storage and gold in the treasury. I would not leave my daughter in a tricky situation should I die now but I knew Elia would never forgive me._

_I kissed Elia and her hands rush to my cheeks keeping me close as we kissed, I could not get enough of Elia once we kissed I moved her legs up to wrap around me, just as she locked her ankles around me I pushed into her making her gasp into my mouth I set a fast hard pace, Elia arches her back so are chest rub back and fourth which only adds to the sensation but my eyes are locked on Elia’s face, the pout of her lip, her lidded eyes I do my best to memorize every detail. Her hand grabs my shoulder hard. “My love, my Brandon!” She gasps as she gets a little closer, she throws her head back I bend down and kiss her swallowing her screams as not to alarm our sleeping children in the nearby rooms._

_I quicken my pace thrusting harder and deeper inside her making her moan while I growl like a wolf. Elia bites into my shoulder to keep quite and it rushes me into my orgasm._

_“Promise to come home to me.” She says again._

_“I promise I will come home to you.” I tell her kissing her again I will say it as many times as she needs to hear it._

_I began to flip her onto her back but she stops me._

_“I cannot take all your time my love the children will want to see you.” She reminds._

_I nod and smirk. “I suppose I will just have to wait till I come home.” I tell her._

_She smiles leaning up and kissing me she bites my lips and pulls at it lightly to my surprise. “Come home and we can do it any way you want.” She says and I have to laugh._

_Most the children are young enough to believe us when we say papa has to go lead the north, Rhaenys like Elia is so grateful to me for saving her brother. Aegon is not._

_“I know you are only going for me! That’s why mama said I did not have to go to the wall now the same night you said you had to leave!” Aegon shouts his mother tries to console him but he is to angry I never saw him angry before._

_“If Aegon is going to the wall I am going!” Jon says as he enters the room unaware of what we are discussing just loyal to Aegon._

_“NO ONE IS GOING TO THE WALL!” Benjen snaps at his nephews._

_“Remind you of anyone?” I ask Benjen getting a glare I go over to Aegon as my hands go on his shoulders his anger melts away and he begins crying. “Don’t die for me.” He cries and I pull him close._

_“I am not going to die Aegon but it is my duty to protect you because you are my boy because you are more then worth this to me Silver.” I promise him I told myself I would not kiss them when the boys started looking like men but I was wrong because even though I could see the man Aegon was becoming he would always be my boy my little silver. I kissed his head and then Jon’s I take them into my arms. “The watch is a northern tradition of great importance but it is not a place for boys when you are 16 if you want to go I will not stop you but I will never let anyone make you.” I tell them._

_I say goodbye to my daughters my Rhaenys who tells me I am her hero and gives me the favor she knitted for me. I love my daughter with all my heart, but she is a terrible sewer and the dire wolf of my house looks more like a rabid ferret and I adored it. I thanked her for it and watched her confident smile appear._

_Alarra clung to me, when I looked at her I understood my father more. I saw in her what he saw in me and I was sure the north was going to have a bright future with Alarra at the helm of it. She would be a great Northern leader I knew it like I could feel it in my heart like my father was so sure about me even when I was not. I needed to come home so I could be there in her moments of doubt._

_Myriah smiles proudly at me as we say our goodbyes my tough daughter thinks I am doing what a good lord should and squash a rebellion she was proud of me but tugged on my shirt and made me lean down so she could tell me she would pray for me every day in the garden and then I felt proud._

_Raya was to young to understand the situation and gave me a hug and a kiss and told me to be careful like she would if I was going to Torrhens square. “I wuv you papa, will you think bout me?” She askes so innocently as only a child could._

_“Of course baby.” I promise kissing her head before being handed my actual baby Ashalyen is so relaxed in my arms and she lightly smiles at me._

_“Who am I asha?” I ask her._

_“Pa” She says and I laugh kissing her head. “ You are going to surprise them all just how wonderful you will be.” I tell her soon she begins reaching for her mommy and I understand I may be pa but Elia is like the sun being away from her you just feel cold._

_“I leave Winterfell in you ladies very capable hands.” I tell Alarra and Elia._

_“Come home to us my love.” Elia says softly. I kiss her gently as I give her the children back._

_“The girl has to breath Ben.” I tell my little brother who glares at me when he comes up. His wife is pulling him back to her while their baby pulls at her hair from Don’s place on his mothers hip._

_Catelyn and Ned have much more dignified goodbyes, Elia had agreed to let Catelyn and her children stay at Winterfell since Catlyen was worried about her children at the moat. Elia was sure they would make up soon but I was not so sure they might be to alike in loving their children more then anything and anyone else._

I just kept thinking how I had to leave my lover and our children to go fight Roberts enemies. With Ned while we could not seem to get along. I know he thinks I should have let Jon and Aegon go to the wall because they could not threaten Roberts rule and Robert would not kill members of the nights watch. I would not let my young boys go there if they chose it as men I would let them go but no man would force it one them. Not even my brother.

He scowled and leaned against the wall of the captains chambers we were in while Benjen and I sat at the table drinking.

“Do you remember father going to war?” Benjen askes thinking of his own son.

“The war of the ninepenny kings happened when I was two, I cannot remember a thing. I remember him leaving on wildling invasions.” I admit and he nods.

“I remember him seeming so big. Him being my hero.”

“Like you are Don’s.”

“Never not with uncle Brandon around.”

“No you’re his papa you get to teach him to hold a sword and get him roaring drunk for the first time.”

“I was not even 14 when you got me roaring drunk.” Benjen laughs.

“well, that’s what big brothers are for. Someday Aegon will get Jon roaring drunk without telling me.” I say making Brandon laugh.

“You too are going to laugh while house stark is in shambales.” Ned askes from the while he is leaning on the wall self righteous as always.

Benjen gives him a confused look.

“Ignore him he thinks I should have sent babies from to the wall.”

“What happens to those boys, to your wife’s son, to Jon our Jon is on you!” Ned says and I stand up.

“Aegon is not my wife’s son he is my son because I love him though he was apart of me like you love Robb.” I remind.

“You do not understand-“ Ned starts.

“No you do not understand! He is my son so is Jon! If you are under the delusion otherwise that is your problem!” I shout.

“What happens when this comes down on our heads or worse our sons on Robbs on Dons.”

“YOU LEAVE MY BABY OUT OF THIS!” Benjen shouts standing he loved his boy and his wife he was desperate to marry Berena and would not listen to me when I told him they were to young to marry it was Elia who convinced him it would be best for Berena to wait so she could get a little older and stronger he agreed because he loved her.

“You think they will leave him out of this, what about Alarra?” Ned askes. “I will die if you ask me to Brandon but my son and daughter lives matter to me, I hope you can say the same for your daughters.”

“All of my childrens lives matter to me Ned, how dare you ask me to sacrifice my son for my daughter?”

“Is it so terrible that the boys go to the watch and an honorable duty Its better then all of our children dying.” Ned reminds he looks to the door to make sure we are alone.

“But the king agreed to pardon Elia and her children of any crimes the Targaryens committed in the war.” Benjen says he looks to me to make sure it is true like he was a scared boy again.

“For now while he is a boy what happens when he is a man who looks like Rhaegar Targaryen?” Ned askes.

“Is that a crime?” Benjen askes coolily.

“Are you willing to bet your sons life on it?” Ned askes making Benjen stand up pissed of he loved Don with all of his heart. Ned leaves the cabin I hear him climbing the ladder probably going to inspect the crew again.

“You know if anything happens, I would take both boys to Essos.” He says putting his hand on my shoulder I find myself appreciating the man he became I like to think it was small part due to me but really I just think Benjen is good.

“What about Berena and Don?”

“They would come we could start our lives over there.”

“Or you stay and make sure Alarra gets what she deserves and I take Elia, Rhaenys, and the boys to Essos.” I remind but thought of never seeing my daughters again pain me.

“House Stark will always watch out for itself and like it or not Aegon and Rhaenys were raised in the wolf den they howl like the rest of us now.” He says with that smile I love.

“I love you Benny.” I tell him I knew I did not say it enough but on the eve of battle I had to tell him. He looks at me hard before hugging me.

“I love you too and I love Elia like a sister I promise no matter what happens on these fucking islands I will not let anything happen to her or any of her children.” He tells me.

“I would do the same, but you are going to live through this that is an order.” I tell him making him laugh.

In a few days we get news from home when a raven landed on the mast of our ship.

_Beloved husband,_

_Please no my thoughts are never far from you as you are never far from my heart. It does me good knowing you are fighting for a truly just cause few others can claim. Still I worry about you late in the evening. I have not bleed since before you left and Luwin confirmed today I am pregnant. I am not the only one, let him read it from her own hand but Berena is expecting as well. You stark men all left stark babies in your wives bellies as you go to war I can already hear the song they will right about it. I have not told the children yet. Attached are letters from Rhaenys, Aegon, Jon, Alarra, Mryiah, and a letter Aegon wrote for Raya. That poor Ravens foot._

_Come home to me and our baby my love._

_Forever yours Elia Stark_

_I look up at Benjen who looks bewillered at me we congratulate each other and drink as if everything is fine and we know we would meet our new children._

_“You surely want a boy?” Benjen askes._

_“Already have two it does not matter either way, you want a girl though. Trust me girls take care of their papas when they get old and I have five of them.”_

_“Well if this is a boy I expect you can loan me one?” He teases._

_“No I could not live with out any one of them.” I swear I do not read their letters until I lie in my straw bed at night._

_Papa,_

_I have been looking after the horses and animals in your absence as well as the most wildest creatures of all my little sisters. I promise I am helping mother just as you asked. I love you and hope you come home soon._

_Rhaenys T_

_Father_

_I am sorry for how angry I was. I love you very much please don’t be cross at me. Jon and I caught a frog and put it in Luwins robe it was brilliant but mother was not happy and we apologized to Luwin who never apologized to us for killing our frog. You would have knew it was just a joke and we did not mean wrong by it. But You understand better then Luwin does. I think it’s because we are very alike. I don’t remember it exactly but I have dreams about you saving me from the Kingslanding now I dream of coming to save you._

_Love your son_

_Father_

_I hope you are well and the war ends soon so you can come home._

_Jon Snow_

_Papa_

_I am being a very good girl while you are away I am studying and learning and helping mama. I think I will be a great lord someday but not for a very very very very long time. Also if Jon tattled on me in his letter he is a liar but if he does not then I appreciate his discrepancy. I may have push Robb into the dirt but he was asking for it and I think you should right aunt cat and tell her I cannot marry him because I did push him._

_Kisses_

_Lady Alarra Stark_

_Papa_

_I do not like to write. But I love you. Come home and tell me of battle._

_Meria Stark_

_Dadda_

_I love you very much and want you to come home it is better here at winterfell then anywhere else in the world so you should finish helping people and come home to play._

_Raya_

Each letter was so perfect in their own way I read them all so many times.

Ned is to join Robert with some of our strength at pyke, Benjen and I go to great wick the largest of the iron islands.

Maron Greyjoy is there with his crew he is a wild young man with blood in his veins and feels he cannot be killed I was once that same kind long ago now every thought I had in times of strife was keeping my family safe and returning to them if I could. He does not hole up in his castle he met us on the beach which was surprising and stupid.

I step forward never one to back away from a challenge even after all this time.

“The wolves have came for a swim have they?” He askes.

“Don’t be stupid if you fight you will lose and we are only the first here more will come. Surrender.” I tell him.

“WHAT IS DEAD MAY NEVER DIE!” He shouts annoyingly.

“What does that even mean.” Benjen askes behind me annoyed.

“I would not expect a mainlander to understand.”

“So all these men have to die for your pride?” I ask.

“No just you or I, you sent a challenge I except.” He says.

I draw my sword. “Very well.” I agree he smiles but does not move towards me I look above us no archers lying ready it was still probably a trap just not an overtly clever one.

I glance at my brother before moving forward his army rushes at me but by the time my sword clings against another mans Benjen is at me side fighting next to me what purpose the ruse served I did not know besides that he was not a trust worthy man we moved through them Maron is heading back to his castle in the distance.

“FUCKING COWARD!!!” I shout.

“Your just angry we will probably be doing a lot of running.” My brother teases.

“I am an old man I preferred fighting on the beach.” I told him back the violence on the beach had not mattered in the slightest we had break the castle open like a peach the stupid Greyjoy was crushed under the rubble and a surrender followed swiftly after.

I wanted to go home but we were told to report to Pyke for what reason I could not know it was written by Ned so I knew he was fine still we went to see what was so important we could not return home I was unsure if Robert was having ridiculous festivies or if it was about Aegon. Pyke was the last to fall and we were there a few hours after.

I was not the only one Oberyn was on the docks waiting for me with his men.

“You were called to Pyke?” I asked him surprised he smirked. He hugged me so he could whisper in my ear.

“I am here to remind Robert you cannot fuck with any of Elia’s children without fucking with me and I don’t kiss nice.” He says and I laugh.

“You’re a good man, a great brother and uncle and a mad man.” I tell him.

“This is pleasing enough to me.” He promises as we walk together.

“How is my sister and that beautiful family of yours?”

“The children are very well, Rhaenys is becoming an incredible young woman, Aegon and Jon recently put a frog in the maestors robes.” I tell him making him laugh. “Truly their uncles’ nephews.”

“Truly.” Oberyn agrees.

“Alarra is going to have Winterfell in tip top shape when I get back, I just hope she gives back control to me, Myriah is wilder by the day.”

“Dornish hot blood both of them.”

“We call it wolf blood, Raya is still the sweetest thing in the world and you have not met Ashalyen yet she is delicate and causes us both a lot of worry but she is strong like her mother.”

“Stubbornness it seems is in all of her blood I really must come see them again.”

“Elia is pregnant.” I tell him and his glare is automatic.

“You to know how that happens right?”

“We were being careful-“

“Perhaps you need a new hobby like boating or hunting.”

“It was not my intention but I am happy to have a new child with Elia she is a better mother to my children then I could have ever asked for she is the light of my life you know that you know I would never try to put her in harm’s way.”

“I know you would not try but if she dies because you could not keep it in your pants I will never forgive you Brandon Stark, you have given her a happy marriage I will always love you for that but you know she is delicate think of if a man kept having children with Ashalyen if you and he both knew it was unsafe.” He says I never thought of that before.

“I would kill him.” I admit he pats my shoulder.

“You are lucky my sister would mourn you and you’re a good father to my nieces and nephews.” He tells me.

When we enter the castle it’s a messy shambles I look for Ned I want to get this over with and return home to my family.

Oberyen, Benjen and I made our way to the broken throne room, Ned was there with the king. The last salt king was on his knees before Robert I wondered how long he was to remain there. Behind him was his scared wife holding close her baby girl another arm around her only living son.

“Your grace.” I addressed with a head nod and Benjen followed my example Oberyn was busy looking around the room to care for formalities.

“My warden of the north.” Robert scoffed.

“Have I in some way failed you in this task.” I ask he looks at Oberyn and more importantly his spear before saying.

“I gave you a job to do.” He reminds.

“Marry Elia Martell I have done so and raised children by her” I remind.

“How would Lyanna feel about that!” Robert askes.

“I don’t know.” I admit I’m not sure she would care but I don’t tell him this.

“Well this one is to be your prisoner don’t forget this time.” Robert says he has the boy pulled from his screaming mothers arms she begged the guards not to take him.

“Please no no! Theon is my last boy please……take my baby girl, take my daughter instead.” She cries it is a heart wrenching sight for the three of us to watch as we are thinking of the woman, we loved whose son was ripped from her.

The boy does not make a noise he is staring at his mother before he is thrown infront of me.

“What crime did he commit.” I ask Robert who laughs.

“When did you become such a pacifist?” Robert laughs. “The Brandon Stark I knew was always ready for a fight.”

“Still am just make sure I fight the bad guys.”

“Oh and who are those?” Robert jeers.

“Not women and children surely.” Oberyn says.

“Prince Oberyn.” Robert acknowledges.

“You grace.” Oberyn fearlessly spat back.

“Why are you at Pyke?”

“I was told you summoned my brother by law, so I came uninvited as it maybe.”

“Theon is to be held hostage as another warden it was thought best you take him.” Ned says just wanting to get back to business.

“I will take him, he will be safe with me.” I say looking at his mother who looks so grateful as I help him off the ground.

“And kept as hostages should be.” Robert reminds.

“Think of what Elia would do.” Benjen softly reminds so I grinned and bared it but I wanted to tell him I would be keeping Elia and our children forever whether he liked it or not. I did not care about not having Roberts respect or love. We were going home, Many wanted to go to the victory tourneys and I left Ned in charge of those northmen as I went home, Benjen to was anxious to get home and left the others to there partying. Oberyn decided he would go beat the king at his own games before giving me a letter for his sister. I looked at the letters of my loved ones as we slowly sailed home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter these last chapters will probably be updated ever two weeks instead of one as we go closer to the end. I did not go into to much detail about the war because this chapter to me was mostly about why Brandon was going to war and his feelings towards it. The next chapter will be from a new pov we have not seen yet, any guesses? Anyways thanks for reading whether you just found this story or have been with me every step of the way. Thank you for all the lovely comments I am sorry I am the worst about replying but please know I appreciate them and you for taking the time to write something about my story that is still so cool to me that people actually care about something I wrote enough to write a comment. Anywho thank you for reading!


	32. Stranger

Chapter 32: Stranger  
The wolf was gone but he left the cave well-guarded he learned from his last mistake and made Winterfell the fortress it use to be. The guards were prepared and ready at the entrances watch points were changed often and well placed.   
I thought when Robert called his banners and Brandon was gone it would be easy to sneak into winterfell and steal away the child, but it would not be easy.  
The only way in was with the peasants as they came to beg a child for things they needed to survive. As they came begging the starks for compassion, they thought the starks good leaders but who ever heard of a compassionate wolf?  
Among the rabble and peasants I slips in undetected among the dire peasants complain about everything under the sun. I fit in with them as a peasant with the shambles I was left in since my exile instead of the lord of Griffens I once was. I once was Jon Connington and now I was nothing but my duty to my dead prince.  
An old small woman looked up at me her ancient face curled into a wrinkled smile. “Don’t worry she is kind an pretty.” She promises as if mistaking my looking around for paranoia or nerves.  
I did not have to be paranoid to know the young pup and I were enemies she just did not know so yet. We never met but she was Brandon Stark and that shrew’s daughter so we were natural enemies. We are moved through the hall into the great hall like cattle and I see in horror it is not only the little Stark girl who will be ruling today but her mother.  
Elia Martell I steal a glance at her she is not aging as terribly as I had hoped. She does not have bags under her eyes and worry lines the way I do from years of being on the run. Instead baring him northern children has left her with a pleasant curve to her figure and a happy smile upon her face and she holds her growing stomach. Next to her sits his daughter so proudly as if giving lord Stark a girl was such an accomplishment. The girl looked Northern she looked like her father with only some of her horrible mothers’ features.  
These people treated the foreign lady as though she was a true Stark herself when in fact she was not even a dragon she was only ever a dornish bitch who has lived far far to long for my taste. If I had the chance I would kill her but I did not and unlike her daughter she would recognize me so I put my head down and moved towards the back of the line as Elia helps all the peasants as if they matter.  
I move backwards through the line slowly not wanting to draw suspicion to myself, luckily with so many of us so close together its hard to tell in the crowd. All the while they sing Elia’s praise as well of that of her Stark children.  
A solider begins to follow me seeing if I am confused or lost and I am glad for this I keep going and lead him off when he tries to catch me I grab him pull him into a cupboard and break his neck. Once I steal his clothes, I can move around Winterfell much more freely.  
I keep looking around searching frantically but trying to act calm as if this was my normal routine and not finally close to reaching my goals and doing my duty.  
Two of Starks younger girls ran by me laughing and playing. The littlest dropped her dolly I picked it up and handed it back to her.  
“Thank you!” She says sweetly this one looks so brown like her mother and is gone in the next instant running after her sister. Finally I found the first one in the stables, she was brushing out her horses mane like a stable boy instead of the daughter of the greatest prince who ever lived, the more I looked at her the more of the dornish slut I saw nothing resembled my prince only her eyes made me think of him as she glances at me.  
“Do you have news of my father?” She asks and I am confused until I feel this deep disgust in my stomach when I realize she means Brandon Stark.  
“Well has he sent word?” She asks all matter of factly as sass mouth as Brandon would and it makes me loath her.  
“No princess.” I say back.  
“Nobody calls me that and you should not either.” She says with a glare as she touches the wolf pin in her hair.  
“Yes, my lady.” I say and keep walking.   
I almost lose hope when I finally found him. He was leaving the Godswood of all the places! But as I looked at him, he was perfect so like his father in every way I almost cried. Same silver hair, purple eyes, cheekbones, handsome face, it was as if my prince was Infront of me again.  
“What were you doing in there.” I ask before I can stop myself.  
“I was praying.” He say simply not at all upset some lowly guard was talking to him he acted as though it was normal.  
“You don’t pray to the gods of……. your mother?” I ask him to wonder why this perfect Targaryen boy was praying to northern superstition.  
“My mother does not. She never taught me I suppose.” He said with a shrug. I smile trying to rid my mind of that Dornish bitch who could not even Pray for the mother to care for Rhaegar in the next life and she let Brandon Stark turn her children into heathens.  
“Do you know of her gods?” Aegon askes curious like his father clever to I was sure.  
“I was born in the stormlands.” I tell him.  
“Like the….bad-like the king.” He says softly there was a complexity to him of sweetness and strength like his father.  
“Yes, but it’s alright Aegon I know he is a bad man.” I admit.  
“You do?” He askes with wide eyes..  
“I do. But he is not really the king he is just a usurper.” I tell him.  
“What does that mean?” Aegon askes quizzically I smiled.  
“It means he took it from the people who it belonged to the Targaryen’s the greatest dynasty.” I tell him.  
“But Luwin says the last Targaryen king was mad and his son stole away a-“ The boy begans telling me but I stop him putting my hands on his shoulders unable to hear the lies he was taught.  
“Those are just lies the usurper and his friends tell so they can justify the bad they have done. Prince Rhaegar was a great man, his mother was a lovely woman and his father…was just old.” I lie he was a boy not ready for the truth about his grandfather.  
“Really?” Aegon askes with a big smile I am sure most of his life he has been told horrible lies about his family.  
“Really. It means you are the rightful king Aegon.” I say but then I hear the shouting of “LORD STARK IS BACK!” The boy takes off without a second thought and I know he will not be easily stolen now with Lord Stark back but it does not make it less necessary. I will watch and wait and gain the boys trust before taking him away and someday installing him as the true king for his father.  
Taking the boy out of Winterfell would be near impossible with Brandon here, they say he is to stubborn to die. We will have to put that to the test.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a creepy chapter. On a lighter note I am planning a sequel story. I would love to know your thoughts and as always thanks for reading!!!!


	33. Roost

Chapter 33: Return

Alarra and Myriah are trying to dance as they are instructed by Rhaenys but both of them are fighting to lead to the instructors great annoyance I have to turn away and face the window to keep from openly laughing at the sight both of them are so much like their father in so different ways and it only makes me miss him more.  
I look at the frost sticking to the glass. The war is over we have won though I hardly consider myself a loyalist to Robert even if both the north and Dorne fought for him, I know they did not fight to keep the islands unpressed for Robert. They fought so my son and daughter could live there lives freely and not in fear of punishment for the sins of their father. Luwin said the men would be held up because of the snow and we should not expect him for weeks. I knew a little snow would not deter Brandon Stark from returning to his family and we should expect him any day now.  
I turned back towards the hall looking at the girls still messing around and Rhaenys is ever patient with them. Raya is with Berena between them holding their hands is Don who can walk as long as he has hands to hold. He looks so much like his young father I pity so much for messing these precious new moments.  
Then my hand glides across my enlarged belly which has happened six times before but it is just as precious and I hate how much of it Brandon has missed he always gets so excited when I tell him I am with child then he is so very careful and tender with me as if no woman has ever carried a child before. He kisses my belly and talks to the baby as it slowly grows he rubs my feet as we discuss names of our baby and guess what it will be like when it arrives we are always wrong but it is nice. Best of all I feel safe in his arms as I sleep at night but this pregnancy without him, I lie awake and worry I miss him terribly like he is a part of me.  
“Papa always starts by saying their was a princess and a savage who was really really angry and the princess was really really said cuz they took her baby away from but its okay because he gets the baby back for her and it’s my brother Aeg and the princess and the savage fall in love and have lots of babies!” Raya tells Don as they sit together I smile at my daughters own reciting of the stories her papa always tells her before be.  
I here little feet running, and I smile as it is such a happy sound in Winterfell and a common one, Jon rushes in and I assume Aegon will be right after him but he is not. Instead of playing Jon runs straight to me out of breath and panting. I am worried and grab my young son’s shoulders.  
“Jon what is going on are you alright?” I ask him.  
“Father is coming!” He says gasping.  
Myriah and Alarra and Rhaenys are all staring in shock and disbelief until soon we hear the horses. Alarra and Myriah are racing outside to get to there papa with Raya and her little legs not far behind them.  
Rhaenys picks up Don. “Your father will be there too!” She tells the baby. I take Jon’s hand and we follow after. At first the Northern’s thought it was odd how I treated Jon but I told any who asked that in my culture bastards were not hated and they seemed to appreciate that because he too was the great Brandon Starks son.  
We arrive to see Brandon on his horse he pulls Aegon the first child to greet him up on his war mount and embraces him. There is something so beautiful in their contrast Aegon’s fair hair, Brandon’s dark hair, Aegon’s tanned skin, Brandon’s pale northern skin they really looked nothing alike but there embrace was a father and his son.  
Brandon get down with Aegon and sets him down. Brandon picks up Alarra, Myriah and Raya all at once. As they giggle and love all over him. Benjen is holding his sobbing young bride already when Rhaenys hands him Don he thanks her and kisses her head.  
Brandon’s blue eyes look up at me there is a beautiful wanting in them that takes hold of my heart. Jon Runs forward yelling “PAPA!” and his embraced by his father and then it is my turn he wraps one hand around me the other goes straight to my belly.  
I kiss his check he frowns slightly and kisses my lips amidst the ews and aws of our children. He smiles as he looks at my stomach, but I see the worry in his eyes.  
“I am so happy to bring another child to you.” I promise him, he smiles and kisses me again.  
“I bring you a child as well.” He says with a sigh making me give him a curious look he walks back near Benjen’s horse and pulls a ten-year-old boy off of it and over to us. He is looking at us with a suspicious glare and is a very ungroomed little boy.  
“This is Theon Greyjoy he is to be my ward…on the orders of king Robert.” Brandon says annoyed by it all.  
I smile at the boy.  
“We are so very happy to have you in our home Theon, I am Lady Elia Stark and these are my children, Jon, Alarra, Myriah, Raya, Aegon, and Rhaenys my youngest Ashalyen is sleeping but you will meet her soon.  
The little boy looks around at all the children but is still hardened.  
“Luwin we will need to prepare a room for Theon.” I tell our kind maestor.  
“He can stay with young Robb while he remains here.” Luwin suggests and I nod it would be good for Theon to have a friend I hope he will become friends with Aegon and Jon to, but they already share a room and would hate being separated.  
Brandon plays with the children once we get inside and listens to all of the stories they tell their father of things that have happened while he was gone, by the time dinner is served Aegon, Jon, Myriah and Alarra want to hear war stories but Brandon mostly avoids it talking about the journey a curtesy for little Theon.  
The children are climbing on him soon after dinner is through.  
“Alright my loves papa is very tired and needs to rest, give him a kiss and ready for bed.” I tell the children who grown their frustration but one by one kiss their father I see them off to bed tucking each of them in kissing their heads. I go to tuck Theon in but he rolls away, so I leave him and tuck Robb in instead.  
I find Brandon in Ashalyen and Raya’s room looking over his sick daughter as she rests.  
“She has gotten bigger.” He notes.  
“She looks small as ever.” I assure.  
“She has gotten bigger I am sure of it.” He tells me before escorting me back to our room.  
“Where is Catelyn?” He asked.  
“She is on bed rest after giving birth to her son, they are both recovering well.”  
“I am glad they are both well no matter how angry I am with ned.” He admits.  
“You are not the only one, she named her baby Brandon.” I tell him watching his shock.  
“Two Dons now?” He asked.  
“No she calls hers Bran.” I inform him.  
“That’s hilarious.” He laughs.  
I glare at him. “I thought she should call him Brynden for her uncle.” I was not jealous, but I did find it a little inappropriate Benjen had been so proud to name his only son after the man he most admired and Catelyn was doing this out of spite.  
“What will we call ours?” He asked kissing my head.  
“It’s a girl, I can tell.” I promise.  
“Good I have two sons more girls mean more little sweet things who love their papa.” He says with that winning smile and the grey eyes I adore. I reach up and grab his face gently with my hands. We are kissing before we are in the room and lucky Brandon remembers to close the door he pushes me against it while he latches it all while kissing me with such vigor and passionate I feel a burning in my throat.  
“I missed you.” I breath out when we finally part. He smiles playing with my hair. “I missed you night and day.” He promises before kissing my head.  
“But we should stop because as much as I desire you, I will not risk our baby’s life as far along as you are it could be dangerous.” He says and I nod my agreence.  
“You still should relax now that your home you could sit by the fire and I could rub your feet?” I suggested.  
“Your pregnant with my child I should rub your feet.” He says back.  
“You are home from a war you fought for my sons well being, I want to take care of you at least let me get you some wine?” I tell him going to do that.  
“You don’t need to.” He reminds.  
“I want to go sit.” I insist as I pour the wine. He obeys sitting in his chair by the fire taking his coat and boots off getting comfortable. He unlaces his shirt after all this time the scars from the noose remain on his neck they do not frighten me they remind me what a honorable man my husband is and I am proud of him and all the scars he wears for doing the right thing.  
I bring him his wine and he pulls me onto his knee.  
“We are going to break your chair.” I tease he only laughs as a hand rubs my stomach as he looks at the bump happy thinking about his baby, I am comfortable in his arms just being together is soothing.  
His eyes move up to my swollen breasts.  
“Its not fair I never got to touch them.” He teases with a smile, but his grey eyes are dark and steadily watch my chest.  
“You can if you would like.” I tell him watching his shocked look turn to disbelief.  
“We cannot…the baby…” He begins unsure how to argue against bedding which makes me giggle.  
“I know but you my love are my hero.” I tell him undoing the laces of his trousers. “And you deserve a heroes welcome. “ I promise moving my hand up hand down his shaft making him lean his head back in pleasure. The arm closest to him is my left arm and it is wrapped around his neck to steady myself. Once he is used to my hand moving on his cock his hands unlace my simple dress enough to free my breasts his hands fondle my breasts as he moans against my neck as I speed up my movements.  
The sounds of pleasure my beloved makes, and his touch is enough to send me to my climax the same time he reaches his. He kisses my nose. “Let’s go to bed.”  
“I know you Brandon Stark you could still go two or three more times.” I remind trying to sink to my knees but his arms hold me in place.  
“Once was more then enough my love.” He promises sweetly picking me up and caring me to be he helps me take off my dress the entire way and hands me my robe before he goes to clean himself off. He crawls into our large bed and holds me in his arms.  
“I dreamed about you every night.” He whispers in my ear sweetly.  
“Was Robert bad to you?” I ask my great fear softly.  
“No I was worried when I was summond but he just gave me the Greyjoy boy and a tongue lashing, your brother came to my aid he’s a good man. He is going to come and see the baby.” Brandon says and my heart fills with excitement to see my brother.  
“This one will have a northern name.”  
“Elia this is the 7th child you have carried and the 8th you have mothered you get to call the baby whatever you would like. He promises kissing my shoulder.  
“Both your brothers have sons name Brandon I think it is only fair you have one of your own. How about Branda.” I say he is silent so I turn to him he has such warm love and admiration in his eyes. “I love you Elia Stark.” He tells me.  
“I love you Brandon Stark.” I promise.  
Life with Brandon back is marvelous there is a peace we have not had since he left, the children are thrilled to have their father, the sun has returned to the north with Brandon and everything is content.  
I was late in the afternoon in my chair by the fire as Ashalyen happily slept in my arms her head against my check ash she slumbers. I look to Brandon in his chair he has Raya asleep on him while he reads through the scrolls, he was sent absentmindedly playing with his daughters hair. The image of the great powerful large man happily holding his tiny sleeping daughter as gently as he can brings a easy smile to my face. The older children are getting done with their studies running along to play as they so please and it is so warm and comfortable in the room I close my eyes for a bit.  
I am awaken by a knock and clutch my daughter tightly Ashalyen wakes as well but unlike other babes she does not fuss her tire eyes just look at me before batting close again.  
“Who is it?” I ask softly  
“It’s Aegon.” My sons voice call back.  
“Come on in Silver.” Brandon says.  
Aegon walks in I am sure he grows taller by the day and looks like a prince from songs and poems even if he is an exiled one.  
“Hello sweetheart how were your studies?” I ask.  
“Good.” He says but I can tell he is complexed about something; he doesn’t make eye contact with either of us.  
“Is something wrong sweatheart?” I ask and he is silent.  
“Silver?” Brandon askes.  
“I…………when the king wanted me to go to the wall you said I did nothing wrong and should not have to go to the wall…was that true?” Aegon askes looking up at Brandon.  
“Of course, it is true you have not done anything wrong and I would not let anyone take you away from your mother and myself.” Brandon promises nobly. Aegon nodded but he is not satisfied. He looks to me.  
“So, the king was lying?” He asked.  
“The king was wrong.” I admit to my son.  
“Was he wrong about my father?” My son askes me I am stunned unready for this question unsure what to say or do.  
“Because they say my father was a very bad man and some people say I will go mad like he and his father did.” Aegon continues.  
“Who said that to you!” Brandon growls he probably would have yelled if our little ones were not asleep.  
Aegon looks down at his feet as one softly kicks the other. “I just thought if the king was wrong about me they could be wrong about my father.” He mumbles softly.  
Brandon’s eyes find mine but I look back at Aegon.  
“No sweetheart they are not wrong.” I admit.  
“Elia Don’t.” Brandon tells me carefully.  
“I did not want to tell him but he asked.” I say softly.  
“A boy should think well of his father.” Brandon says and this annoys me.  
“He has a father to look up to, you.” I remind him before reaching out to Aegon and he came and took my hand I brought his to my lips kissing it. “Rhaegar Targaryen was a complicated man I think he loved you and your sister but he did not love me so…he decided to disregard me and take a new wife.”  
“Why?” Aegon asked.  
“I don’t know sweetie he wanted a better wife.”  
“How better?”  
“Well he did not think I could mother another child and at the time I did not either.”  
“You’re the best mother there is he was wrong!” Aegon said readily coming to my offense.  
“He was wrong Aeg but he believed it so he decided to marry a girl already promised and started a war that cause his death and made Robert king.” Brandon says as he gets up and places Raya in my arms.  
“I don’t want to be anything like him.” Aegon says with tears in his eyes. Brandon picks him up an carries him back to his chair.  
“You aren’t, you are not Rhaegar, or Aerys, you are Aegon Targaryen but also you are my Silver, you are a great big brother, a loyal friend, kind hearted, brave, you are very honest probably because you are a TERRIBLE liar.” Brandon said making Aegon laugh through his tears. “You are a good boy Aegon and your fate what kind of man you become is entirely up to you and I cannot wait to see.” Brandon tells him  
“I love you Stark I want you to be my only papa!” Aegon says as he flings his arms around Brandon’s neck.  
“I love you to silver.” He promises.  
Brandon seems unsure what to do after a few moments I smile at him as if to say enjoy it soon he will bet to big for you to hold like that.  
The peace cannot last long Benjen finds a dead guard and then another and another both of them are nervous about what is going on when a long-time maid of mine Myla is found dead. Brandon and Benjen approach Berena and me with their plan.  
“We need to move you and the children from Winterfell first just to castle crewyn but if this should last longer to the moat, I will escort you with our best me to Castle Crewyn Benjen will hunt down the killer in our midst and as soon as you all are safe I will join him.  
“No Brandon we cannot leave Winterfell, we cannot leave you!” I tell him.  
Berena just embraces Benjen tightly he holds her close whispering sweet nothings in her ear to calm her.  
“You and the children have to be safe I cannot do what I need to do in these hard times Elia if I am worried about you.” Brandon says cupping my face my hands go over his.  
“Then send the children to safety I must stay with you.” I tell him.  
“Elia, my child is under your skirt, this one to must be safe. I need you to be safe my love” He says  
I fight the urge to fold and give in to his sweetness. “What if this is what they want to separate us, we are better together you know that.” I tell him he pulls me close and I cannot fight it anymore.  
“We will be together soon my love everything will be fine.” He promises. I had a terrible feeling everything would not be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading please let me know what you think!


	34. Father

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter I want your opinions on more then anything, I almost broke it into smaller chapters so I could get what you thought about different parts but I decided against it but please tell me what you think I would really apricate it.
> 
> It was interesting having Aegon at such a young age being a narrator but I also really enjoyed his POV because I find him fascinating. He will be a POV character in the sequel as well as Alarra and possibly Jon any other kids whose POV you would be interested in? 
> 
> As always thanks so much for reading have a great Halloween!!!

Chapter 34: Father

When its really quiet in the halls of Winterfell you can hear the water woosh through the walls I like that sound I decide as Jon and I walk through the halls.

“Jory said he saw Uncle Benjen shoot to birds with one arrow.” Jon tells me I look at him and smile.

“That means the story of uncle Benjen killing those to men with one arrow at the wall could be true.” I say back.

“I’m sure it is true.” Jon says happily. “I want to be like uncle Benjen and go off on adventures before coming back to Winterfell.”

I look at him sad. “He had to leave his brother.” I remind I could not imagine beging separated from Jon even though Nan swears there was a time we were apart.

“Well I am not doing that we are going to go on adventures together.” Jon says and I smile at him I love the idea when I hear sickening laughter from behind us.

“The bastard and the misplaced prince what a pair you will make.” Theon Snarls we turn to face him, he is nice to Robb and Alarra especially but the other highborn children as he calls them.

“That makes to of us.” I remind him getting a wicked look.

“No he is not a prince his father knelt.” Jon says with a grin.

“At least he didn’t die.” Theon Says as he walks towards me. “Has anyone told you about it?” He jeers.

“Leave him alone!” Jon says but Theon ignores him.

“They say Robert Baratheon beat him to death and chunks of him flowed down the river.” Theon says I am not sure why, but my stomach hurts bad like I am going to be sick.

“STOP IT!” Jon shouts Again.

“Go cry to the mother who left you bastard.” Theon jeers pushing Jon aside. “You know your father was born from incest they say Targaryens have extra toes like cats born of incest do you have any extra toes?” Theon asks and it wasn’t about Rhaegar, or the incest, or the extra toes or anything else he could say to me he pushed my brother and even though he was bigger then me I summoned all my strength and pushed him back. He falls on his butt.

“You little fucking shit!” Theon says jumping up and charging towards me Jon is yelling but I close my eyes.

“BOYS!” My mothers voice calls I open them to see her and uncle Benjen appear together they like to go on walks and talk Uncle Benjen says mother helped make him the man he is today. Still they are as diffrent as they possibly could be my mother is kind patient and grace my uncle though I love him to most brings a fierce enemy and assured death.

Theon lets go of my shirt collar as they approach and scrambles backwards mother rushes forward and touches both my face and Jons’ as if wordlessly saying we were alright. Uncle Benjen charged forward and grabbed Theon’s collar.

“How do you like it?” He asked.

“Benjen.” Mother says evenly and he puts Theon down she approaches him.

“Theon you will not treat people like that here, I do not know how you were raised before but now you are to be raised by me for better or worse. Which means I will love you like one of my very own sons.” She tells him and I watch an odd hope arise in my enemies face. “But I will also hold you to the same standard and I do not tolerate this sort of behavior, I want you to go to your room and write detailed apologies to both Jon and Aegon and Lord Stark for causing trouble in Winterfell when they have been approved you may come out.” She tells him.

“Yes, my lady.” He says softly.

She combs through his hair. “They would be your most loyal friends if you let them.” She tells him softly before sending him off with a nod.

She turns back to us. “All of you should not be walking the halls alone remember what father said?” Mother tells us and we nod. Father had said we were all supposed to take these approved guards with us but it was so odd like we were in some other lords castle or on the move instead of in Winterfell in our home. “The men with us can go with you.” Mother says.

“Yes mother.” We say together I was happy to share my mother with Jon he always shared his father with me.

“You need to tell someone when there is trouble?” Benjen reminds sternly and we nod.

Mother smiles at us beautifully. “Go enjoy this time before dinner.” She tells us sweetly and we run along with guards following as mother and Benjen escort Theon away.

“I miss Domeric he was a much better playmate.” Jon says.

“And ward.” I say making him laugh.

We had for the great hall today is linen day and when they take the table clothes, they replace them with another set. The great hall seems like such a magical place with the maids whooshing the huge table clothes up in the air and back down its like we are in the sky among clouds or something.

“We are going to take you to your room boys come on.” The guards said panting to keep up with us when we were moment from the hall.

“That’s not what mother said!” Jon says and one of the guards laughs.

“Did my brother say something funny!?” I ask him the way I have seen father talk to men he does not like they always cower to my fathers strong will in then end because father is the greatest lord who ever lived and probably the strongest man alive.

The lead guard give his man a scolding look before returning to me.

“It is not safe for you boys out here and you are hard to keep up with so we are going to take you to your room and guard your doorway you can play in there.” He says kindly.

“Can our sisters come play?” I ask as we go with them.

“We will bring you the other Stark boy to play with.” The solider says.

“Never mind we will play alone.” I tell him with a sigh.

“You cannot be mad at Robb forever.” Jon says from where he is laying motionlessly on the floor, I am next to him staring up at the ceiling in boredom. “You know he did not mean it.”

“It hurt you.” I tell him simply.

“I got over it.” Jon reminds.

“Well I haven’t.”

“Havent gotten over what?”

“Him hurting my brother.” I say and Jon smiles at me. “I wish we had our swords we could train. What do you think the girls are doing?”

I sit up.

“Do you think the girls are together?” I ask worried. “Myriah and Alarra are probably together because they share a room. Arya and Sansa are in Raya’s room. That means little Ashalyen is all alone in the nursery.” I say she had don and the new baby probably but Asha wasn’t a new born she was just tired a lot she liked sunlight and flowers she called me Ag and Jon ON and she is so happy to see us thinking of her all alone made me sad.

“And Rhaenys she is all alone.” Jon says I think of my older sister as incredibly self sufficient but Jon worries about her he has such a soft spot for her and though we usually play with Myriah and Alarra when its just Rhae, Jon and I we have a very good time to.

The door opens and it is Jory.

“Jory, please tell the guards we all belong together.” I said.

“It’s alright little lord I am to take you to Dinner you’ll be together then.”

“Its to early for dinner.” Jon says making Jory laugh.

“I never thought you’d turn down food Jon.” Jory says, and Jon smiles we leave with Jory without anymore fuss because we love him.

When we get to the dinner mother looks like she is going to cry father has her hand firmly in his, his head is pressed to hers as he tells quiet assurances. My papa is the greatest man in Westeroes if not the whole world.

The girls come in louder than us and mother and father look up and smile at us all.

“Mother are you alright?” I ask worried.

“No, your mother is excellent.” Father teases kissing her head.

“I am fine my sweet.” She promises softly.

Jon is trying to mouth whats going on to Alarra from across the table, but she doesn’t look like she understands.

Father puts Ashalyen on his lap when she tries to get on mama’s but there is not room for her. Ashalyen is having a good day walking and smiling even as papa holds her, she laughs and pulls at his beard.

I try to look at mother to see if she is still sad but she’s turns to the side cutting up Raya’s food while she bangs on the table with her fork.

“KNOCK IT OFF!” Myriah tells Raya annoyed.

“Don’t yell at her!” Rhaenys counters.

“Girls please enough.” Mother says as Catelyn is joing us with her children she is very pretty but still really pale. Sansa does not like Jon or I, Arya is just kind of this angry toddler which can be a lot of fun and Robb was my friend until he was rude to my brother. They all take there place and I look to Jon to see if he sees what I see, but he is still trying to mouth a message to Alarra she is not getting and they are getting annoyed at each other.

“Where’s uncle Benjen, Aunt Berena and Baby Don?” Rhaenys asked before I do. I look over to see they are listening but instead Jon and Alarra are fed up with each other try to kick each other’s chairs but they are both to short and half fall off their chairs which makes them laugh and immediately forgive each other.

“They are going to have dinner alone tonight.” Aunt Catelyn answers I look to my papa, but he is staring at mother he kisses her head again and she looks like she is going to cry.

“Tommorow we are going to go on a little trip to Castle Crewyn.” Father says.

“Is that why are trunks are gone?” Alarra askes she is clever I never noticed if my truck was in Jon and I’s room at all.

“Yes.” Mother says softly.

“Is that why we cannot play like usual?” Myriah groans.

“Yes.” Father says glancing at mother.

“But what about the baby?” Rhaenys askes she is always concerned about babies she probably just wants another girl but Jon and I pray to have an amazing little brother in the gods wood every day, I love all my sisters but I am so happy to have Jon.

“The baby will be born at castle Crewyn and uncle Oberyn is going to be heading there.” Father says.

We look at each other gleefully before cheering Uncle Oberyn is so much fun and he brings us so many gifts and plays with us when he is their that made this trip sound happy.

“Will he come back to Winterfell with us and our baby sister?” Alarra askes.

“You mean our baby brother.” Jon tries.

“NO BOYS!” Myriah says.

“One boy would be nice.” Jon returns.

Aunt Catelyn looks at Alarra instead of Jon when she speaks.

“Your mother says it is a girl just like you.” Catelyn says ignoring Jon entirely even when he tries telling her that mother told him it is not always exactly what you think but she ignores him father would get mad if he wasn’t paying attention to what mother was whispering in his ear I don’t think he notices .

“Oops!” Alarra says before knocking over aunt Catelyns wine glass onto Aunt Catelyn’s dress who is so busy trying to clean it she does not notice Alarra wink at Jon and I am sure there are no other girls quite like her. Robb has his own take on the matter.

“You’re a wicked girl!” Robb says.

“Good! You should be afraid!” Alarra chimes back.

“That your brothers going to hit me again!” Robb brings up.

“If he doesn’t I will!” Myriah says.

“ENOUGH!” Father says and everyone stops I think the snow would stop if he told it to.

“Uncle Oberyn is going to be taking you all and mommy to Dorne when the baby is big enough to travel.” Father says.

“Don’t send them to Dorne they should come with us.” Catelyn assures papa but he is not listening.

“Why?” Raya askes.

“Well your mother has not been to Dorne in a very long time and it is where she is from and she misses it.” Father says Nana says I was born in a seaside palace on an island of Dragonstone and placed in a golden cradle. I did not want to return their and was unsure why mother would.

“You are coming, aren’t you?” Rhaenys askes father.

“My place is here.” Father says.

“Your place is with us!” Rhaenys counters she does not usually raise her voice father gets yelled at sometimes and he usually yells back and makes the bad people regret it but he looks hurt by Rhaenys words so I must defend him.

“Do not talk to father that way!” I tell her.

“Of course, you would say that.” She says I do not know what that means.

“You are going to all have a marvoulous time in Dorne.” Father promises he looks at mother for help usually she always knows what to say.

“I am not feeling well, the baby.” She says before leaving father looks after her as she walks away.

“Keep her in the North, have them at the moat where they can be with their cousins where they can get to know each other.” Catelyn suggests she looks from Alarra to Robb as if they were not about to fight earlier.

“Dorne is a very nice place, Rhaenys you have been there before when you were very very little.” Father tries.

“Have I?” I asked I know all the other babies were born at Winterfell.

“We would have to ask mother.” Papa admits.

“Whats so nice about it?” Myriah askes.

“Well its really pretty, and warm………your mother talks about a garden with pools you can splash around in outside and all these foods they only have their, you will get to see your Uncle Doran and his Children he has a son around Aegon and Jon’s age and then another near Raya’s age his daughter is older then all of you but there are a lot of other children there.” He says but the room stays silent and usually rooms with us children in them are not silent at all. Little Raya breaks the silence.

“Wont you miss us daddy?” She askes.

“I will be so happy that you are all having such a good time and I will be so so happy to see you again and hold you all in my arms.” Papa promises but his face looks like he will miss us.

We are brought back to our rooms and told we can play before bed but instead Jon is laying on the floor while I pace around I think about Rhaenys alone, little Ashalyen, and mama who was so upset, I do not think she wanted us to leave Winterfell or leave father.

“I want to make mother feel better.” I tell Jon as I go to our wardrobe and get out of it my wolf, father gave it to me we have repainted it grey over and over again for years now.

“I’ll come.” Jon says I knew he would we open the door to see Jory and another guard, Jory agrees to take us to mother he is a good person.

“Are you sure you want to give your wolf to the baby?” Jon askes.

“Yes, the baby can love it like we did.” I tell him.

“You have had that wolf since you were a little thing.” Jory comments.

“I don’t need it anymore.” I tell him.

“You’re a good lad.” Jory says patting my head there is a noise ahead and the other guard puts his hand on his sword, but Jory stops him from grabbing it.

“It’s probably one of the kids you want to pull a sword on your lords’ daughter?” He asks and the guard shakes his head no. Our sister’s rooms were around the corner Jory knew Winterfell as well as we did.

“I hope nobody is out of their rooms against fathers’ orders.” Jory calls but no doors click shut so he nods to the other guard and he goes around the corner.

In a few moments a different guard returns the one who asked me odd questions outside of the Godswood we are use to all the many soldiers and are use to paying them no mind, Jon and I go forward towards the stairs to get to mother but Jory stops us.

“Who are you?” He asked.

“New. Posted at the girl’s door.” The guard says back.

“Stay behind me.” Jory says quietly before looking back at the man Jory tries to draw his sword but the man is faster and has the blade to his neck. “Boys run.” Jory says.

“Don’t move!” The stranger askes before turning back to Jory. “How did you know?”

“Benjen Stark would never place a recruit at his nieces’ door.” Jory admits.

“Huh good to know.” The man says before slitting his throat.

“JORY!” I shout Jon gasps.

“Its alright Aegon it’s alright quiet.” The guard says.

I shake my head “Y-you killed Jory.”

“It was necessary.” The man promises.

“Aegon” Jon says my name softly like a prayer I look at his eyes he wants to run.

“Boys are you out alone again.” My mothers voice calls from the stairs as she comes into view her eyes widen at the Stranger.

“GUARDS!” She cries out the man rushes forward and throws my mother down she cries out in pain.

“Traitorous whore.” He spits at he with out a though I lung forward and start hitting and kicking him Jon does so from his other side.

“We don’t have time for this you must come with me!” The man says as he grabs me.

“NO BOYS RUN!” My mother cries out like she is in great pain.

“Never!” I shout I am able to wiggle out of his grasp, but Jon is not so lucky the man puts his knife to Jon’s throught and I feel like my heart stops my mother is screaming from the floor.

“I will go with you just don’t hurt him!” I cry he lets Jon go grabbing me he throws me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes I see the blood from my mother’s skirt and the metal from the soldiers coming to our aid.

“ITS CONNINGTON!” I hear my mother scream as the man turns down the servant stairs I wonder if I will ever see my mother again.

He ties a bind over my mouth and shoves me in a wooden crate down in the servant cordiers I begin beating on it with my foot, it is very solid. I continue to beat at it when the box suddenly opens and the man punches me hard in the stomach and shuts it again I feel like I cannot breath from the pain but finally I catch my breath. Tears run down my face I tried not to seem like it Infront of Jon, but I am really really scared. I just want my mama to be alright and my papa to come get me. My papa is going to come get me I tell myself over and over again like a silent prayer.

The man my mother calls Connington opens the crate letting in the cold I fight him as he grabs me. 

“I was afraid you would be weak like your mother, but you have your fathers fire.” He says the gage muffles my response he grabs me and puts me on a horse getting on after as we ride into the night my hopes wane I think of my sisters of Rhaenys, Alarra, Mryiah, Raya, little Ashalyen how different they all our and how much I love them. I think of Jon my only brother my best friend. I think of my poor mother she was probably dead the thought brought tears to my face, dead like pour Jory.

“I am going to explain all of this to you in time you will understand.” He promises but I do not believe him in fact I think he is the first person I really hated. I was so cold the tears almost felt like they would freeze to my face.

“STOP BY ORDER OF LORD STARK!” A voice shouts I try to look back but he won’t let me he speeds up but I can hear the horses.

“So, Brandon sends his men, just as well they will soon tire.” He tells himself more than me as we enter the woods he keeps going faster and fast as we enter the woods.

“They will kill their horses if they try to keep up.” He says I don’t want to believe him, but it does seem like there are fewer galloping noises.

The horse’s hoof got caught in a hole and through us both.

“Aegon!” The bad man yelled I took off in the woods I ran towards a light sure it was on of the men from Winterfell but the closer I got I realized I did not know this man and he did not seem right on his donkey. “COME HERE BOY!” He laughs and I run just far and as fast as I can until I cannot run anymore, I am panting against the tree hiding not know what to do or who to trust. I begin trying to untie the bind but it’s really tight.

I hear steel hitting in the distance and then the silence that follows I just want to be at home, I want my mother, I want her to be alright, I want this to all be a very bad dream.

“AEGON!” I hear a voice I would know anywhere; it is strong and commanding but with heart, It’s brandon Stark the lord of Winterfell my papa he came for me.

“I DON’T CARE AGEON NEEDS TO KNOW I AM HERE THAT I WILL FIND HIM. I WILL FIND YOU AEGON, AND I AM GONNA KILL HIM!” His voice shouts I want to run to him, but I don’t know where he is, his voice carries through the woods and the bad man is out there. Infact I bet he is counting on me running to my father. I stay alert strengthened knowing he is out here.

I still feel the pain in my stomach and look to the ground and find a rock with a sharp edge to defend myself with. I keep walking afraid of every sound and shadow. I hear a snap and panic until I realize it was just a branch that snapped I don’t know how to find him I take my rock unsure I could actually do any damage to the big man with it and find a better use of it, I carve a long strait line into the tree and I walk a few more paces before doing another I do it again and again wondering if it will be seen in the dark or if I am leading the bad man to me. I don’t know how long I do this by my fingers feel numb it my legs ach and my feat burn.

“Smart boy Aeg your alright just keep doing what your doing.” Uncle Benjen’s voice calls it doesn’t seem far I start walking that way until I hear a battle swords stinging, “She was pregnant connington you fucking monster!” My uncle yells.

“DIE STARK!” Connington yells back I should run to my uncle help him if I can but I am so scared of the bad man I run and decide I am the second person I hate tears stream down my face the bind keeps my breathing erratic the tears stream down my face as I face the cold lonely darkness all by myself.

“Silver.” Brandon’s voice calls and I turn around startled at hearing my fathers voice it’s him, on foot with his sword drawn but it is him and I feel a great relief as I go to him he extends his hand to me his face is pained but he is happy to see me. All I want is to be in his arms.

That’s when Connington grabs me, he is wet with blood I don’t know whose blood it is I don’t know where my uncle is. He has his knife to my throat now, I realize I’m next as he backs away from my father pulling me along, I begin chewing on my gage best I can.

“Brandon fucking Stark, it’s bad enough you traitors killed your prince, you would have to fuck his wife, wouldn’t you? Wouldn’t you!” He shouts deranged.

“It is alright Aegon.” He promises me.

“She was never good enough for him, just another whore but that’s your type right stark, you were fucking them two at a time at Harrenhall.” The crazed man laughs. “The dornish bitch got what came to her and so will you.”

“I am going to kill you for hurting her but give him to me now and it will be quick.” Father says.

I break my bind. “PAPA!” I call out with tears. “Papa I’m sorry I am so sorry.” I ball.

“You have ruined rhaegars son.” The bad mman says disgusted the knife is sharper against my throat as he backs up again and then again.

“He is my son, I claim him.” My father says. “I won’t let you hurt him.” He says so calmy staring into my eyes I believed him I believed my papa would make it all ok.

“What are you gonna do stark.” The bad man laughs pulling me backwards again.

“Stop.” My father says suddenly.

“Whats are you going to do about it.” The bad man replies stepping back my father moves forward.

“Jon Stop you are walking into-“ My father starts but it’s to late it is like the ground bellow us callapses For a moment the knife goes down from my throat but I cry out at the pain on my torso it feels like the knife bite me, I try to move away but he is gripping me so tightly, there is a little movement under the ground but the bad man kick and pulls back ward my father rushes forward but the knife is at my throat by the time my father is a little farther then an arms reach away.

The bad man scrambles backwards pulling me with him.

“You got traps in this fucking woods stark?”

“It was a borrow.” Father says.

“Foxes?” The connington laughs.

“No foxes would have been smaller.” My father says I look forward when the ground fell more of it fell then I realized Hodor could lay in the spot made in the ground.

I look up at my father curiously when I hearthe growls from behind Connington.

“Brandon.” Connington says the growls get closer.

“Don’t move.” Father says very still himself he is holding his sword tightly he looks past us to what lurks behind.

“He killed you pups, he has my pup now with a knife to his throat.” My father says the bad man laughs until the wolves growl louder and are getting closer.

“Stop it, stop them and you can have the boy.” Connington says finally the fear in his voice. “I will kill him!” Connington then yells changing in an instinct.

For awhile my father doesn’t say anything he is looking past us like he is having a conversation without any words. Then he looks back to us.

“We are both going to get what we want.” He informs and connington’s grip on me eases.

The wolf to the right tears the arm holding the knife first I scream as the second wolf attacks behind pulling him back my father is there instantly grabbing and protecting me as the wolves tear Connington limb from limb. My papa hold me to his chest and kisses my head over and over again keeping the sight from me but I hear the noise.

My father picks me up and slowly backs away from the wolves. When he gets far enough he puts me down. “Are you hurt?” He asks.

I nod lifting my shirt to show him. “It’s not a deap cut you’ll be alright and girls will like it.” He says he takes off his coat he had not stopped to put on a cloak it is all he really has and he wraps it around me then he picks me up not like I am potatoes or holding me randsom or dragging me he holds me how I assume papas are supposed to hold their sons how he has always held me close to his heart.

“BENJEN!” He calls but there is no answer. “BENJEN!” He says again there is a certain rustling of leaves from the wind through the trees the only answer to my fathers call. “Damnit Ben!” He says as he walks I clutch on him so tightly and begin to cry.

“He better be dead!” My uncle groans and I am so relieved to hear him.

“He is dead, I have Aeg but he’s cold.” My father says pressing me to him I can hear his own heavy breath he is fatigued and without a horse he even walks a little unsteady.

“I can walk papa.” I tell him but he never lets me down.

My uncle joins us clutching his side.

“I am sorry.” I say softly.

“I am alright Aeg.” Uncle says weakly.

“He will be when we get back to the castle. You both will.” Papa says.

“Focus on Aegon.” Benjen says slowly.

“I can worry about you both!” My father says slowly he leans us against a tree.

“Focus on the boy, I’m fine. I think I will go take a walk in the woods maybe I will find our men regroup with them.” Uncle says.

“And if there all dead or deserted?” Father asks.

“It’s a beautiful night for a walk.”

“NO!” Father and I say at the same time.

“He’s more like you everyday.” Uncle laughs weakly.

We all turn at the noise they grab at their swords I see the wolves really see them for the first time they are huge giant wolves like horses, One is darkly gray and black hard to see in the night the bigger one is light gray and I can see the blood on its face.

“Direwolves.” I say softly.

“They are friends.” Father says.

“How can you tell.” Uncles askes.

“I can just tell.” He replies.

“I feel that to but I have to doubt it.” Benjen says.

“We don’t have the luxury of doubt Ben, Aegon needs to get in your hurt, we need friends.” Father says he looks down at me.

“Do you trust me?” He asks.

“Yes Papa.” I promise he goes closer.

“I am trusting you with the most precious thing I have, my wounded pup.” He says the dark colored one rubs against father in a loving way as it walks past him over to examine Benjen the big one returns my fathers gaze to wolves stare each other down until finally the big grey wolf bows to Brandon Stark he climbs on it hoisting me up with him.

“Is mama okay?” I ask he combs my hair with his hand and pulls me tighter but he says nothing I look over as Uncle Benjen throws his leg over the other wolf they run faster then a horse does for a moment I think it is a wild dream of a moonlite ride on a creature that does not live in the wolfs woods with my father and uncle then I think of my mother. I wish it was all a dream, I wish I could wake up.


	35. Mother

Chapter 35: Mother

I carry Aegon off the wolf holding him close he is still really cold he keeps trying to close his eyes but I won’t let him sleep until he is looked over, I look back watching guards help Benjen he is trying to conceal the bleeding but I can see it’s worse then he wants to believe. He is struggling to walk I pull Aegon onto my back and grab my brother pulling him forward.

“Get the maestor!” I shout some of my men run forward and grab Benjen.

We take them inside to my study as it is close I begin taking aegon to the fire when Luwin comes in shouting “STOP!”

“He is freezing.” I tell the old man angry at him pulling Aegon away.

“He will die of shock if he is heated up to quickly, get the boy one wool blanket.” He tells a maid who runs off he goes to Benjen they laid him on my desk.

“If the boy has no more injuries-“ Luwin starts.

“He was cut it isn’t deep.” I tell him. “It is long though.”

“I will have to look at it.” Luwin says while he looks over Benjen a blanket is brought and I wrap him in it keep him close to me I thought I almost lost him tonight and their was nothing step about it, it was like my heart was bleeding, the red hot rage told me being eaten alive was not enough for that horrible man.

“How is Elia.” I ask The maestor scared of the answer but I had to know, the last time I saw her she was in extreme pain and bleeding out our child as she begged me desperately to save Aegon to leave her and bring her son back. I did but I did sos with such a heavy heart.

“She is tired, and understandable distressed.” Luwin says it was more than understandable after losing our baby I was sure Elia was a wreck. She loved being a mother she already loved our unborn baby she talked to her belly and adored the name she came up with. No matter how weak she was afterwards we had never lost a baby before, it must be devastating for her. I felt the pain to but I closed it away I had to be strong, I had to hold her as she wept and bury our baby in the crypts because how ever short live our baby was a Stark. “I will check on her later to make sure she and the baby are doing well.” Luwin says snapping me from my thoughts.

I look up from Aegon in surprise. “Baby?” I ask in utter shock I could not believe the baby lived after that.

Luwin pours something on Benjen’s wound that makes him hiss before he looks at me. “Lady Stark went into Labor.” He says simply like it was no different then any other day.

“It was early.” I say softly.

“We were expecting the baby anytime now.”Luwin corrects.

“So the baby is…is alright?” I say in disbelief.

Luwin begins sewing Benjen up I hold Aegon close so he does not see but I have to be there for Benjen. “Your son is very strong with powerful lungs and a great thirst for milk.” Luwin says he never looks up but he does smile. “Congratulations your Lordship.”

“Go to her.” Benjen says holding back a groan.

“Leave the boy he is next.” Luwin says.

“Go ahead papa I am okay.” Aegon says with fluttering eyes.

“I cannot leave you.” I tell him there is a little relief in his face. “You will always be my first boy Silver I will always love you.” I tell him softly.

Aegon’s cut is bandaged and he is instructed to rest and given essence of nightshade to help him sleep after his ordeal. Benjen is taken to the maestors chambers to be watched over night but Luwin thinks he will be well in along while even saying “You Starks are hard to kill.” It makes me chuckle as I walk away.

I carry my sleeping son through the halls of Winterfell up the stairs to my bedroom where Elia is, she looks pales and sweaty her eyes widen when she sees him and she begins crying.

“Aegon!” She calls.

“He has been given a drop of night of evershade to help him sleep he is fine.” I promise but I lay him in bed next to her and she has to kiss and inspect her boy touching her check to his head to make sure he is alright. “ Thank you.” She cries.

“I had help.” I tell her not wanting to alarm her about Benjen I would tell her in the morning when I knew he would be alright. “I will tell you all about it tomorrow.” I promise.

“Well for now, I have someone to introduce you to.” She says with a smile she nods and I turn to see a maid holding a bundle.

“Lord Stark this is your son.” Elia says as the woman hands him to me. He is good sized he is still all red with a thick head of dark hair. He makes a noise at being moved before settling back to sleep in my arms.

“Isn’t he beautiful.” Elia askes from her place in bed.

“He’s perfect.” I say softly he absolutely was I finally took my eyes off of him to look at her. “I am so proud of you Elia, despite everything that happened tonight you brought our baby into this world you are the strongest person I know I love you so very much.” I promise going over and kissing her head.

“I love you too.” She says smiling up at me. “I am sure Doran will understand our tardiness to dinner.”

“What?” I ask I was staring at my son it took me a moment to understand her words or not understand them.

“We had a baby so I am sure he won’t mind.”

“Doran isn’t here sweetheart.” I say concerned.

“Oh, of course not. I think I had a dream about him.” She laughs I smile as I kiss her head.

“I think you need more sleep.” I tell her with a smile kissing her head she moves the blanket to look at her baby she is so happy seeing him. I hold my son as long as I am able promising oaths of love and protection until he gives a little whine before all out screaming.

Elia laughs. “He is unsatiable I have already feed him twice now.” She is moving her nightgown aside.

“He is a Stark.” I say placing him in her arms instead I grab Aegon deciding it would be bad for him to wake just now.

“You don’t have to take him.” She pouts.

“He needs to go to his own bed besides poor Jon must be devastated.

“Jon is with Catelyn.” Elia says she answers my shocked look. “He is a child in pain and she is a mother.” Elia reminds softly she was obviously proud of Catelyn for this and so was I.

I put Aegon to bed before going to get Jon who is so thrilled but the drama of the night has left him shaky and he holds my hand as we walk.

“Remember Aegon has been through a lot he is fine but he needs to sleep so I do not want you to wake him.” I tell my son, at first I knew he was my nephew pretending to be my son but some how he became mine just like Aegon was mine. I hate to think of it but if Rhaegar or even Lyanna came asking for him I would not give him up and as peaceful as Elia is I think she would rather watch the world burn then lose our child and that’s just what Jon was.

“I won’t papa I will take good care of him.” Jon promises I bend down and kiss his head.

“You’re a good boy Jon, I love you.” I tell him he gets in his bed I am sure it is safe but I have guards stay posted at the children’s doors. I go and see each of my daughters to make sure they are find and as I am leaving the nursery Berena finds me.

“Where is he?” She cries.

“He is in the maestors room so he can watch him but he is going to be fine.” I promise her to my surprise the quiet girl hugs me grateful to find out she is not a widow she quickly runs off to go see him, I knew they were infatuated with each other but now I was sure she loved him like he loved her and that was a good feeling.

I go back to Elia’s room she always chides me about tiring the babes out when they are new but I am hoping she will let me hold him a little longer besides he does not even have a name yet. I always liked the stories of Cregan Stark and fancied the idea of having my own Cregan.

When I enter the room Elia is asleep a small army of woman watch the basket containing our baby he would be moved in to the hursery and treated like a prince soon but Elia liked having the babies close at first, she would probably try to get him into our bed and I would let her.

The women part and I smile seeing him his hair was curly like his mothers, I love that right away his face scrunches up when I hold him and I laugh at my tough little man. Conninton did not beat us tonight not one Stark I thought as I held him.

“Brandon Stark let her sleep!” Elia grumbles I wonder if it’s the sleep that makes elia stay here or just the fact that usually it is a her either way I follow my lovely wifes advice and put the baby down after kissing his head he cannot be named without Elia anyways.

She is laying on her side with messy hair covering her face and to tired to move it, I have to admire my wife as I look at her she is so very strong.

“Leave us.” I say they look hesitant.

“He can tend our own baby, besides you know Elia won’t share him.” I say and they begin leaving knowing it to be true Elia was only ever kind and congenial to the staff but when it came to her babies she did not like the wetnurses to touch them.

He is in a good spot in his basket and Finally I kick off my boots and go to join my wife after what seems like the longest day of my existence and all I want is to hold Elia in my arms.

“Brandon.” She moans softly as I climb into bed and a smile forms I touch her gently and am confused when I feel how hot she is I pull her close to me and look her over she is still pale hours after birth her eyes look clouded.

“Brandon, I-I don’t feel well.” She tells me shaking a little she clings onto me for support. “It hurts.” She cries and I feel like I have been stabbed.

Get the maestor!” I yell clutching my wife tightly to me there was not much he could do for childbed fever that’s what Elia had it killed my own mother.

Luwin came and said what I already knew. “She needs to rest and not strain herself the baby will need to be fed by a wetnurse.”

“No.” Elia says from bed.

“Will that help?” I ask looking for some kind of hope, he looks at me with watery eyes we did not want to face it but child bed fever was often deadly.

“I am so sorry lord Stark.” He says softly.

Elia only gets worse crying throughout the night our son joins her apparently he prefers his mother from his wetnurse and I worry about him eating and his mother living through the night and my baby brother. I do not sleep at all that night I hear yelling in the hall and go out to see Jon dragging a large branch and screaming at the guards trying to stop him.

“Jon!” I bark scolding my child usually Jon stops at the slightest reprimand but instead he just keeps trying to pull his branch through Winterfell and shouts “I have to help him!” He says and begins crying.

I go to him as he falls to his knees. “Jon? Jon whats wrong.” I ask softly.

“Aegon keeps saying he is so cold, I gave him both the extra blankets and my blanket but he keeps saying he is cold so I-“

“You were going to put this on the fire.” I summarize and he nods.

I take him by the hand and we go to there room Aegon is in bed covered in blankets and he tosses and turns, Jon threw all the fire wood in the room on the fire and it is absolutely boiling in the room.

“Papa I am cold.” He cries I feel his head and he is not cold at all he is burning up. “Jon I need you to go get Luwin.” I tell him and Jon runs for help. Now Luwin says we are to keep him wrapped up with a roaring fire to ride him of the fever.

Jon has to be separated from Aegon which he loathes and Luwin tells me to stay away from my baby son so he will not get it.

I hope Berena can govern the children who will already be scared and confused at why they cannot see mommy, Aegon or Uncle Benjen. But Berena is with Benjen and will not leave his side. Nan and some maids begin the day with my wild horde but I am told it goes as well as expected until Catelyn steps in even though she just gave birth herself I understand Elia’s connection to her better now why she named our daughter for her in part. Despite there fight she is there when it counts.

Hearing the children are doing well helps a little but it does nothing to stop my worrying that’s all I do for the next two days and I am tired of waiting I barge in on Luwin.

“Give me good news Luwin tell me they are all doing better.” I say but he stays silent. “Tell me someone is.” I ask.

“Your babe has learned to nurse with his wetnurse and he is doing very well thriving even I am told.

“Aegon?” I ask.

“His fever has not gone down so we are going to try and cool him off with cold baths if any luck their will be a summer snow for us to collect and add to his bath. “ Luwin says.

“He says he is cold he is shivering.” I remind.

“He won’t like it but it’s for the best.” Luwin says and though we do not always agree I do trust him he is a good man who has always done his best by us. I nod.

“Benjen?” I ask.

“He keeps bleeding threw his dressings I keep changing them but he is getting weak. Cartarizing comes with risks but-“ He begins.

“What is the other option?” I ask I hate that idea.

“Dressing his wounds again hopping for better luck?” Luwin admits.

“Ask Benjen what he wants.” I tell him and he nods there is a silence between us because I am so afraid.

“Elia?”

“She….is in the heat of her pain if she survives the pains it will be down hill from here hopefully she will not get delusional.” Luwin says.

“And there is nothing you can do?” I ask.

“Nothing.” He admits I go to the door.

“Where are you going?” He askes im sure he has much more to discuss but it is not as important as my family.

“She has to suffer she does not have to suffer alone.” I tell him.

Elia is in terrible pain when she is awake and restless while she sleeps, Luwin says we could give her milk of the poppy and essence of nightshade for both but we would never stop giving it to her. I hold her as she cries into my arms, I say loving things in her ear and kiss at her head I wish I could take this pain away from her, I wish I could bare it for her. In the better moments she wants to hear about her children. I don’t know if I should let them see her like this it was so hard for me to see my mother but I would not trade it for anything. I was waiting to see how she was doing it felt like all we were doing was waiting and it was hard for me to wait.

My prayers were starting to be answered when Benjen agreed to get cauterized and was regaining his strength was already laughing and being sassy when I talked to him his wife clinging to him all the while.

“What do you call your son?” Benjen asked.

“The baby as of now.” I tell him and he laughs.

“Well now we know there is still a Benjen Stark so go ahead and name him.” He says he sees my face. “Ahh so I am not the one you were thinking of naming him after, what would you call him Elior?”

“Elian or Elion I don’t know I don’t want to think about it I want to name him with Eliaand for her to be well.” I admit.

“Well if you want to name him with Elia don’t wait to long, I want Elia to get well you know how much I love her, honestly she was the big sister I always wanted.” He admits.

“When did my baby brother get so smart.”

“Lucky Elia came to us when she did.” He teases.

I go to check on Aegon knowing his mother will ask about him, I find Jon in the hall against the door.

“You’re a good brother Jon.” I tell him he smiles a little.

“Will you tell him I miss him?” Jon askes.

“Of course.” I say he moves and I open the door to find Aegon’s bed empty and and a panicfills me we swept the castle Connington was working alone I watched him die how could this happen.

“Papa?” A little voice calls and I realize its from over by the fire I have told Aegon a thousand times not to get to close to the fire but as I turn I realize he is in the fire I scream and run to him. Jon enters worried I try to grab him out and burn my hand, it takes a moment for me to realize Aegon is not burning he is in no pain he is curled up in this fireplace comfortably and warm.

“Aegon?” I ask he looks up at me fine.

“I was cold.” He says softly as he crawls out sweat is dripping from his skin enough to tell me his fever broke. “Are you angry.”

Jon runs over I try to stop him from touching Aegon as he is still glowing with heat but it does not effect Jon the way it burned me.

I wrap a blanket around Aegon when he is no longer steaming, they need the truth or at least some of it keeping it from them put Aegon in danger and I would not have it again.

“Aegon get dressed and drink some water, momma and I need to tell you boys and Rhaenys something. Jon go get your sister don’t tell the little girls anything they are to young.” I say before kissing both their heads. “I love you both you are my boys.” I tell them.

I go to warn Elia to make sure she is up for this or I will have to do it on my own. It is a good sign that there is no crying when I enter she is sleeping so peacefully I hardly can bear to wake her so instead I decide just to kiss her and talk to the children alone. I go over to my side of the bed crawling over to her as I usually do but she does not purr out my name instead she turns to me with tired eyes.

“Rhaegar it’s to soon…please don’t.” She says softly barely looking at me the love of my life was so delierous she thought I was the monster that used to hurt her, I move away fighting back tears.

“I am not Rhaegar I would NEVER hurt you, you are in Winterfell I am your husband, I am your Brandon.” I say softly she just looks at me confused there is little color left to her skin my wife is dying before my very eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So good news and bad news....thanks for reading let me know what you think!
> 
> Also Baby name guesses or hopefuls?


	36. Viper

Chapter 36: Viper

It is freezing and foggy when I arrive in Winterfell it matches my mood. Benjen Stark is all grown up and waiting for me, he is in all black with a grave look on his face like he is the Stranger.

“Welcome to Winterfell Prince Oberyn.” Benjen says but his tone is dower as this dreadful cold place.

“Lord Stark does not have time to greet me, or is he afraid?” I ask getting a hard look from the younger Stark.

“He is praying for his wife to live in the Godswood, he does so every day.” Benjen says matter of factly as though I of all people should understand. His prayers would do no good childbed fever was fatal and we all knew it.

“It is his fault she is ill.” I remind venomously.

“Brandon loves Elia with all his heart, and he is the finest man I know say a word against him again and we will have to fight.” Benjen says strongly truly a boy no longer.

“A glorious fight no doubt but not until you are at your best.” I assure looking to his cane. “My nieces and nephew?”

“In the hall awaiting you, there was a summer snow and Brandon did not want the children outside after Aegon’s fever. “ He says and I nod this is understandable how children live in such a cold place I do not know.

“I must agree with him on this is Aegon better?” I ask finally.

“Yes he is a fighter.” Benjen says proudly.

“It is his Dornish blood.” I say just as proudly if not more.

“He is northern now.” Benjen assures.

I was about to say to the contrary when we walk inside and our immediately bombarded.

“Uncle Uncle Uncle!” The girls shout as three of them run towards me. Pretty girls all of them so interestingly having bits of her and bits of him.

“Alarra, Myriah, and Raya.” Benjen said worried I would not know them because it was been long since I last came here he is remiss my sister writes me often long lovely letters about her children that let me know the first to hug me the obviouc leader of the pack was Alarra her decicive little daughter she looked a great deal like her father with few details that remind me of my Elia, there is something dornish about her hair and nose but other then that she is a stark even her eyes I thought black at first glance upon closer look are dark blue. “Welcome to Winterfell Uncle.” She says like aa little Lady.

The little girl in pants is surely Myriah I had encouraged Elia to let the girl run around in pants if that was what she wanted, I had hopes of getting her to Dorne someday She looked the most dornish besides a little elongated face like a Stark.

The sweet little thing still holding onto my leg was Raya she looked very Dornish too besides the grey to her eyes, the last I saw she was a babe in her mothers arms, poor child could have no idea what was going on.

The older children emerge Aegon, Rhaenys, and Jon they have much more knowing looks upon their face. Elia always says the boys are hardly apart but Rhaenys to seemed to stay close to her brothers like the three of them were connected by the knowledge everything was not right with there mother I assumed. They stay back whispering about something among each other.

“Come on you need to greet your uncle he has come a long way to see you.” Benjen tells them and they come to me with their sullen faces.

“Hello Uncle.” Aegon says finally he has always been a sweet boy, but I look at him carefully wondering how much boy is left in him after what happened in the wolfs woods. “Thank you for coming.” He says his brother stays behind him like a shadow. “Aegon, Jon it is so very good to see you both.” I say letting the other boy know I wish him no ill will.

Rhaenys hugs onto me tightly she is becoming a great beauty with classic dornish looks meeting the other worldly Targaryen features, I notice the direwolf pin in her hair a sweet gesture from the man who raised her no doubt. It reminds me of Elia’s wolf locket she always wears since she was a child she was adorned with tiaras and jewels yet the simple locket was the most precious possession she had every time I came to this cold place she wore it.

She loved him with her whole heart. The only reason Brandon Stark was not dead right now was because he did not put a babe on my sister in malice or for a desire for a heir over her safety, it was because he loved her just as much as she loved him and could not bear to not return to her bed, their new child was made like there others in love.

Rhaenys began crying against my chest and I kiss her head. She forces herself to stop so the littles will not see and steps back next to her brothers Jon holds onto her hand.

“Are you going to make mommy feel better uncle Oberyn?” Alarra askes forcefully.

“Papa says she will get better!” Myriah reminds so they did know she was ill they did not know she was dying.

“Will you Uncle Obie?” Raya says sweetly.

“If I could I would my preciouses, I have gifts for all of you but first I must go see your mother.” I tell them.

“I will take you.” A booming voice calls I look to see Brandon Stark the years have been kind to him he is still a handsome man but his face is racked with grief.

The children go to him and he kisses their little heads, but he barely stops moving.

“Papa!” Raya cries and Rhaenys picks her up. I have already decided to write Mellario she would not return to her husband but perhaps she would come here and raise her nieces and nephews so Rhaenys did not have to take over like many older sisters do for the younger ones. I hated even thinking about it but I would make sure these children were cared for one way or another. Before we went to Elia as promised I am lead to the nursery their I see the woman who has already decided she would be the hand to rock the next Lord Starks cradle, even before his mother was cold. Catelyn Tully is a good-looking young woman and she is over the cradle cooing at the baby who wines in it.

Brandon goes over and picks up a larger child that must be his youngest daughter she wraps her arms around her father easily and looks so very tired. “Is she feeling better?” He asked.

“She ate.” Catelyn says before trying to do pleasantries with me that I ignore completely.

“Good girl.” Brandon tells his daughter he gently rocks her in his arms before laying her back down.

“Brandon you should hold your son, name him.” The woman insists.

“He does not have a name _Lord Stark_?” I say not liking Catelyn calling him by his name while his life lay dying near by but instead he ignores us both leaving only saying. “Let us go see her.”

I move forward to look at him, warmly colored with fantastic dark curls.

I pick him up despite the fact this woman does not want me to. He screams like he is on fire and Brandon comes back charging into the room and takes his baby back from me the boy settles in his father’s arms. Catelyn leaves the room when she realizes she is not wanted.

“Do not blame your son, it is not his fault.” I tell him.

“I do not blame him!” Brandon says offended I said such a thing.

“Then why would you not hold him, why would you not name him.”

“I think he looks like her.” Brandon admits his eyes are watery. “It is hard enough with the girls but he…..” Brandon cannot finish his thought he kisses his sons head and lays him back to rest.

He does a low whistle and to my astonishment a wolf moster comes into the room as if it is normal for it to do so.

“Watch over the children Frost.” He says to the wolf an to my surprise it goes and lays down by the cradle.

“Your not worried it will eat them?” I ask.

“The wolves love the children and the children love the wolves they are safe, anyone trying to hurt them not so.” Brandon promises.

He takes me to Elia’s rooms she is asleep when we enter, she looks so very pale and lifeless I go to her bedsides. “Elia.” I say touching her face she is hot to the touch her eyes flutter and tiredly she smiles.

“Is it really you?” She asks softly.

“It is.” I promise. “I came as soon as I heard.”

“Why?” Elia asked her eyes are slightly glazed over and I realize she does not understand what is going on.

“He came to see the baby.” Brandon says softly not wanting to cause her anymore pain, I came here enraged at this man but the way he looked at my sister was nothing but heartbreaking his adoration and pain all on his face at once.

“Brandon.” She muses softly and reaches for him. He takes her hand kissing it she smiles at him her lips are darkly tented.

“I want you to meet mother, she will test you, but I think she will give you her blessing.” Elia says.

“You know I would do anything to be married to you, I only wish I knew it sooner.” He says and she giggles like she is still a young girl first in love.

“How long has she been delusional?” I ask Brandon who narrows his eyes at me for saying it.

“More and more every day.” He admits finally. 

I reach towards her pulling her lip down to see it gets dark at the roots weekly she whines and tries to push me away I easily subdue her pulling at her eye lids next not expecting lord Stark to throw me into the nearest wall.

I sit on my ass surprised at myself for not being ready for that as well as how strong the wolf truly was he was holding her in his arms poor Elia was confused more then ever and cried into his arms.

“What the fuck is a matter with you!” He shouts holding her protectively.

“She does not have child bed fever she was poisoned!” I tell him getting up he shouts for the maestor I roll my eyes I have not met this maestor but I do know more then him I am sure.

He allows me to approach them still protectively holding her. Elia is no longer crying already forgetting and now was snuggling into Brandon’s arms telling him how much she loved him.

“Toad poison I have seen it before.” I tell him as the maestor enters.

“Poison would have killed her by now.” The maestor assures.

“Toad poison is not meant to kill the mother it is meant to kill the child she carries she would have had to have been poisoned when she was still with child.” I tell him.

Brandon hardens. “Why would anyone want to kill my son!” Brandon askes “No one in Winterfell would ever hurt Elia she is beloved here.” Brandon swears.

“Something tells me the man who tried to take her son would not care for her to give another man a son, Connington was always so far up Rhaegars as he could smell his breath.” I note he was often hard on Elia for not being good enough for the Targaryen prince until I offered to castrate him.

“But the babe was to far along instead Elia’s body expelled him the cord that ties a babe to it’s mother did not need to be cut…it feel apart I thought it was the attack……I was so wrong.” Maestor Luwin says mournfully.

“The poison leaves the woman with the dead child but since your son was born before the poison could rot him inside his mother it just stayed in Elia.” I say I watch Brandon holding her tightly he closes his eyes.

“Can either of you do anything for her, please!” The proud lord askes.

I go closer if Elia’s mind is gone it is to late to save her but if the delusions are temporary there is hope slim as it may be. I sit on the bed near when Brandon holds my sister.

“Where are we Elia?” I ask.

“Sunspear.”

“No we-“

“Dragonstone?” She askes her eyes look soft with no focus to them.

“What is your name?” I ask her.

“Your name is Brandon.” She tells her husband softly nuzzling against him lovingly.

“Is this necessary?” Brandon Barks.

“To see if there is any Elia left to save, yes!” I hiss and look back at her.

“Do you remember marrying Brandon?” I ask hoping she will remember this since she remembers her love for him.

“I want to marry Brandon.” She says softly she is lax in his arms and his must hold her up.

Brandon and my eyes meet in utter defeat she knows she loves him; she was happy to see me and I realize if Elia will remember something it wont be a place or a name.

“Elia do you remember Aegon? Aegon got a fever in the woods Elia.” I tell her.

“Aegon? Aegon is sick we need to go to him I have to be with him!” She says she tries to get up but Brandon holds her still. “ Oberyn?” She askes I can see it in her eyes she is my sister Elia the strongest and gentlest person I know.

I put my hands on her cheeks. “Elia Aegon is fine but right now we need to focus on making sure he grows up with his mother, I want you to keep thinking about your children, their faces, their names, who they are to help remind you of who you are.” I tell her.

“We need to purge and flush out the poison from her.” Luwin says he goes to get things we will need.

“Will she live?!” Brandon askes desperately.

“I..I don’t know it will be hard on her body and she is already so weak.” I admit feeling the tears on my face. “It is going to be ugly and unpleasant and we will put her through agony and she still may die but I must try to save her, I must. You do not have to be burdened by this go to your children Brandon, hold them in your arms, pray in your woods do not cause yourself more pain.” I tell him.

“I won’t leave her, if she has to suffer then we both do!” He assures he is a good man lord Stark. Silence fills the cold chamber and I feel a desperate despair in me.

“R-rhaenys, Aegon, Jon, Alarra, Myriah…..Raya…..Ashalyen, and our baby.” Elia says softly.

“Elia did you-“ I start and she looks at me her black eyes full of focus. “Rhaenys, Aegon, Jon, Alarra, Myriah, Raya, Ashalyen the baby.” She says with more force Brandon kisses her head and she smiles softly her hand reaches up and touches his faces gently. “He needs a name.” She says softly.

“We will name him when you are better.” He promises kissing her head.

“No, not a memorial. Name him now, give him a northern name.” She demands she is already sweating how weak she is holding herself up and talking is a lot of work.

“Elric.” Brandon says but Elia shakes her head no and I cannot blame her.

“Cregan?” Brandon asked and I scrunch up my face. He’s just a baby Brandon what has he ever done to you?” I say the maestor will be back soon and my heart is heavy I am not happy about the torment I will put Elia through but I must save her. She holds my hand and I smile.

“Oberyn, for the man who saved my wife.” Brandon says so proudly I have to smile.

“It must be Northern or his lords will…will never……Something like Brandon something northern.” She says tiredly.

“Beron?” Brandon asks and she nods her head. “Beron.” She agrees the mastor returns and I go to help him carring the jugs of water so he can continue mixing his tonic.

“Is this all the boiled water?” I ask.

“Yes but they are boiling more as we speak.” He says once he has it mixed, he gives it to me.

I go over to my sister while the maestor bring over a bucket.

“we are going to make sure Beron sees his mother.” I tell her as I finish stirring it.

“Rhaenys, Aegon, Jon, Alarra, Myriah, Raya, Ashalyen, Beron.” She says as though their names bring her strength.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man I get more emotional the closer we get to the end. I was not going to let it end without an Oberyn chapter! I hope you liked it, thank you so much for reading and sticking with me so long and giving me your thoughts and opinions about something I wrote which will always mean SO much to me, it still baffles me that people care and have opinions on something I wrote, I don't know how to explain it better then that all I can say is thank you and I will always be grateful. (Told you I was getting mushy.) Please let me know what you think!


	37. Fate

Chapter 37 Fate

Days and nights of pure agony throwing up and being forced to drink boiled water over and over again as the pain from my womb increased threatening to break me, the more I felt like myself the more it hurt. I faint every few hours from the strain on my body. I wake from such an occurrence on the floor of my bed chamber with Brandon holding me.

My entire body aches and I am covered in sweat, but my womb is no longer on fire I am no longer throwing up and choking down water. I do not know how long they have been at it but I know Brandon was here pressing a cold cloth to my head, holding me, kissing my head, apologizing for what they were having to do to save me.

I turn to him he looks as rough as I fear with bags under his eyes and a unshaven beard passed out far from the world at this point. I kiss his neck three times making his eyes flutter.

“Elia, gods Elia!” Brandon says holding me tightly.

Oberyn walks over and squats next to where we are on the floor.

“Do you know where we are sweet sister?” Oberyn asks softly with intense worried eyes.

“Winterfell, my Brandon and I’s bed chambers.” I respond softly before he gives me something to drink not medicine or water it is milk with lavender and other herbs in it. 

“And who are you?” Oberyn asks he let Brandon take the glass.

“Elia Stark, Lady of Winterfell, princess of Dorne.” I say simply.

“Well she mixed up the titles your supposed to start with the most important one but after all she has been through, I suppose we can allow it.” Oberyn teases. As much as I love him and Doran and Dorne herself in all its great beauty oddly I see myself now as a Stark as a mother of a northern pack of wolves.

“Thank you Oberyn thank you for coming when you did for saving her.” Brandon says so sincerely it hardly sounded like him.

“I would have came whether you wanted me to or not, but your welcome.” Oberyn teases he comes close and looks in my eyes. “You are going to be alright.” He promises me squeezing my hand before letting it go.

“How…” I ask softly still confused.

“Jon Connington poisoned you.” Brandon said.

“What happened to him?” Oberyn askes.

“Direwolfs ate him alive.” Brandon says having me surprised at that thought.

“I apologize for what I have said about your country I finally found something I like about it.” Oberyn muses.

“Oberyn says he used toads but where would he find them in the north.” Brandon says.

“I’m sure he brought them dried like the scopion piece in my pocket, dried it is harmless stir someones drink with it and-“

“You brought poison into Winterfell!” Brandon askes.

“I like to come prepared relax I will keep it from the children.” Oberyn promises.

“See that you do.” Brandon says strongly Oberyn gives me a knowing look he brought posion for me if I would ever need it and not waterback toads to kill a baby in his mothers wound like a coward but a Scorpion posion that could kill a grown man in seconds so I could protect myself and my children.

“I want to see the children.” I say looking back at Brandon I need to see them and longed for it and was terrified about what they must think is going on.

“Let’s get cleaned up first.” Brandon says.

“I will leave you to it.” Oberyn says.

Brandon helps me bath and dress I am still very tired, and Brandon wants me to rest but I need to see my children first.

“There is something you should know.” He tells me as he carries me into bed after so many years he is still so strong so good to me. I cannot help but feel lucky to have such a tender, loving and handsome husband.

“What?” I asked only slightly worried.

“Aegon is fine, he had a fever and a cut but both were taken care of when he got into his fire place during a roaring fire, he is fine but Jon saw………we must talk to our children.” He says slowly.

“I…..they are so young.” I whisper.

“I know but pretending nothing will ever hurt them did not protect Aegon, I keep thinking if we told him people would try to use him for their own benefit he would have been better prepared.” Brandon admits and it is hard to argue with this. Winterfell was a warm place but the rest of the world was not and telling our children it was would not keep them warm it only kept them unprepared for the cold and I realized that finally.

“Just Rhaenys, Aegon, and Jon the others are too young.” I say and he agrees but promises to bring the children first.

Brandon first brings me our baby he is so sweet with his little scrunched face he looks grumpy.

“Beron is the name you chose but you were poisoned at the time so you can change it, as of now they still have been calling him Baby Stark.” Brandon tells me.

“He will be our last baby Brandon the poison…….I know how it works too……..I will never have another child. Name him for your father.” I tell him softly. I know an old dream haunted him but surely now he could feel safe in naming our boy.

“What was your fathers name?” Brandon askes.

“Adrian but he already has a namesake the next princess of Dorne.” I tell him.

“Rickian o Adriard?” He says simply and I smile and cry still so emotionally vulnerable looking at my babe.

“ I love Adriard but it is not Northern.” I remind him I want my son to have every advantage and he already has warm skin and thick Dornish messy curls.

“He is Northern Elia his name does not have to be, he will be beloved here as his mother is.” He says I look up at him and he smiles at me combing through my hair with his hand. “You know when I returned with Aegon most of the servants were in the Godswood praying for you, Dorne is not the only place that would fight for you my love.” He promises me.

“Adriard Stark.” I mutter at my baby and it was decided the poor pup finally had a name.

“Lord Adriard Stark son of Lord Brandon Stark and Lady Elia Stark of Winterfell the greatest lord since Cregan Stark the old man of the north.” He says and I smile.

“Since his father you mean.” I tease after awhile he goes and gets the children telling them to be good as they are crawl into bed with me calling out my name, embracing and kissing me before the attention turns to their brother.

“I want to hold him!” Rhaenys declares and I give him to her.

“His name is Adriard.” I tell them.

“Ad-ri-ard.” Raya repeats slowly from where she is still holding onto me. Brandon has Ashalyen up in his arms so she does not get ran over and he has a hand on Myriah easily our wildest child.

“He’s so cute when he is not howling, it was him howling?” Jon asks and Brandon laughs.

“He has a good set of lungs for a little wolf.” Brandon laughs.

“He is the heir to Winterfell now, isn’t he?” Alarra askes looking from the baby to Brandon.

“Yes sweetheart boys go before girls in the north.” He says and as annoyed as I am by this I hold my toue because my hurt daughter just nods.

“You have always been more then just the heir to Winterfell Larra.” Aegon says making his sister smile.

“Come here Aegon I want to feel you.” I tell him and he crawls over so I can put my check against his head he is fine thank the gods, I embrace him why would Jon Connington see fit to take this boy away from his home where he belongs I would never know. I was just glad Brandon brought him home. I saw Brandon’s gaze he told me when we got ready about finding Aegon in the fire we agreed we needed to talk to them for their own safety and after holding my children a little while longer I nod my agreement.

There is a knock on the door. “It’s me.” Benjen’s familure voice calls.

“Come in.” I tell him happy to see Benjen he is such a good loyal strong man and I feel a sliver responsible for the great man he has become and that alone is a great honor.

“I wanted to see you sister.” He says sweetly.

“Uncle Benny has been taking care of us.” Aegon says happily and I smile.

“Thank you, I hope it was not to much of a strain on Berena.” I tell him.

“Berna is well, she had our baby and they are both strong. We are calling him Beren after his mother but we agreed if we should have a girl she will be called Elia for the woman who helped raise me and saw fit to put us together.” He said and I had to smile at how sweet they both were.

“Well you please take Adriard.” I ask and he smiles.

“Nice name.” Benjen comments taking my son into his arms.

“Alarra, Myriah, take Ashalyen and Raya to the nursery to play please.” Brandon says.

“Come on girls lets see what that crazy other uncle of yours is up to.” Benjen says helping heard them out another reason to be grateful to him.

I like watching them carefully walking with Ashalyn they are all such different girls but happily walk hand in hand together like good sisters, I have always tried to instill in my children them same love and respect my brothers and I had for each other despite our differences.

“I wanted to hold him!” Jon whines like the boy he is and it makes me smile.

“You will my love but first we need to talk.” I tell them.

“I thought you were getting better, papa said you were!” Aegon started nervous and that made him defensive like Brandon.

“I am darling.” I tell him. “This is about the three of you.” I tell them they are sitting at the end of my bed looking at us.

“What about us?” Rhaenys asks. “Because whatever these two did I did not.”

“No you did nothing wrong.” Brandon promises.

“We wanted to keep this from you so that you could happy unaffected lives, we wanted you to live in a kind world but it is not and keeping that from you has endangered you.” I tell them as steadily as I can I look to my son Aegon who was almost harmed for this very thing.

“The man who took me said I was the real king, is that what you mean?” Aegon askes curiously.

“That’s a dangerous thing to say Aegon.” Brandon says seriously. “It is not fair, but the truth is if anyone found out you said that the king would have you killed, and Rhaenys, and mother and me if not your sisters and baby brother too.” Brandon says I see the horror in Aegons eyes I cannot bare that we have to do this to them at such a young age, but it is necessary.

“Why would they kill you?” Rhaenys asked pragmatically Brandon smiles a sad smile at her.

“Because no one will ever hurt you all while I am still breathing.” He promises.

“So…..we are in danger because……were Targaryens?” Aegon askes.

“Yes, and I am so sorry my babies I have done everything to make you safe as has you father but people will always fear you or use you if they can and you must not let them.” I tell them.

“You can never show anyone the fire thing Silver.” Brandon tells him sternly.

“Why…….why did I not go with the girls.” Jon askes finally I turn to the window I don’t think I can do this it might be worse than poison.

“You are not really the bastard son of Lord Stark Jon, your born from an affair between my sister Lyanna and Rhaegar Targaryen she told Ned when she died and he did the right thing by brining you here but if anyone ever knew you would be in grave danger we thought you were safer this way.” Brandon says they all are astounded Rhaenys keeps opening her mouth, but no words come out. Aegon stares at Jon and it is little Jon who finally speaks.

“I am Rhaegars son.” Jon askes softly.

“No!” I say finally. “You are my son and Brandon’s because we have raised you and loved you.” I tell him taking his hand in mine. “You are as much apart of me as if I bore you.” I promise Jon he lunges forward hugging me.

“I love you momma.” He says softly.

“We love you all that’s why we must be careful and keep Jon’s secret and keep the two of you as safe as possible.” Brandon says.

“How, they know about Aegon and I how will we ever be safe.” Rhaenys askes worried.

“Well we will keep Aegon in the North here where he is cared for and hopefully forgotten. You have the luxury of changing your name when you decide to whatever match you want, I will support but if he is bad to you I will kill him.” Brandon says making Rhaenys and Aegon laugh a little, but they look so scared. Brandon pulls them close. “I do not want this for any of you but we will do what we can with what we must.”

“Do you think we will be alright?” Jon askes.

“Well no one wanted your mother and I to live, or be happy, or have children and here we are through all the horrors and scares we have each other and all of you. We have survived it all. “ Brandon declares and as we hold our children all I can do is smile and hope for this peace is ours to keep. In the days to come things go back to normal, I am able to move about and be the lady of Winterfell again and care for my beloved family. I pray everyday that the peace we have fallen into will last and my children will suffer no more hardships as unlikely as it maybe. I hold onto the truth that should we find ourselves challenged again that we are the Starks and we can survive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last real chapter of this story I think I will add a prologue which will be a piece of the story to come about the future of these Starks. I can always change my mind though. I was very emotional righting this because I am hella attached to this story. I hope you have gotten even a sliver of the enjoyment reading this story as I have writing it, I want to thank all the people who have taken and interest in this story and who has written all these amazing comments I REALLY love and think the world of. I promise as painfully awkward as I feel responding I will respond to anyone who writes a review on this chapter because I really appreciate it. Thank you so much and thank you for reading.


	38. Peace

Chapter 38: peace

Winterfell is a bustle with northerners, the summer continues strongly, everyone has enough to eat, and the north is at peace. So, they come here to celebrate my 15 years as Lord Stark even though I am not sure I have much to do with it, Elia says otherwise but she will always be my strongest supporter.

Still, this is how Winterfell is meant to be full of old men telling stories and children laughing and running through the halls my boy is the ring leader.

I watch him run through the halls with a gaggle of children following him. The usual suspects Benjen’s two boys and Ned’s youngest two but also a bunch of little Nobel girls in satin dresses they can hardly walk in, it appears every lord wants his daughter or granddaughter to marry Adriard an odd tactic sicking them on him as he is only 5 and does not like girls aside from his cousin Arya which has Catelyn thrilled of course though Arya does not share her mother’s joy seeing as Adriard is the same age as her little brother.

I watch out running all the girls chasing him until he runs straight into Lord Karstark who can be a Strict man. I move towards them my instinct to protect my pup, Frost has the same reaction heading straight to Adriard and licking his face making him laugh. My boy hops up making his dark curls bounce, he looks just like Elia besides having my grey eyes.

“I am sorry my lord I did not mean to.” He says with a child’s sweetness the other children backed away afraid but my the giant wolf next to my son was practically his septa so Adriard does not scare easy.

Lord Karstark’s smile is unnatural on his cold face. “It is alright little lord.” He says as nicely as he can make himself.

“Even stern old Karstark knows your boy is the most precious child in all the north.” Greatjon laughs as Adriard takes off running again.

“They are all precious my lord.” I promise him as my son goes running past us.

“Go with him keep him out of trouble.” I tell frost who without hesitation follows my son Adriard he has my wild strike and mayhaps something of his uncle Oberyn in him as well.

“What a great child.” Lord Karstark says as he passes us bowing his head to me.

“Now I know he is sucking up.” I say and Greatjon laughs.

“But of course he wants a marriage from you.” Greatjon reminds.

“Alys is many years older than Adriard he cannot be serious.” I say surprised as we walk.

“Not that one, though if he could swing it he would. I am talking about Harrion he’s been staring at Lady Rhaenys since he arrived. I think they were going towards the gardens.” He says making me turn around he laughed like a man with young daughters would.

I go out to the yard to see them together he is taller than she is so she stares up at him as he talks as if he is so fascinating which I highly doubt.

Rhaenys is 17 now she has both her mother loveliness and the mythical Targaryen beauty plenty of boys look at her like they are lovesick but this was the first time Rhaenys looked interested in a boy and it was killing me.

“She’s only your first one, Rhaenys is a beauty but the other girls will be to.” Benjen says as he puts his arm around me.

I knew he was right our children were very unique looking half dornish and half Northern. I looked over to where Alarra, Myriah, and Raya are giggling in their matching grey and blue dresses holding their pups. It was the first batch of pups Frost and Dusk had since they came to Winterfell. We were worried dusk would snap to protect her pups when she had them, she loves Benjen most of all so he made sure it was safe. There were only five pups. Alarra claimed hers first a white and grey wolf she called Winter. Myriah was never far behind and named her jet-black pup Dark Sister after the valyrian sword. With less pups then children I thought the older children should take them but Aegon would not take one saying the Stark children should have them Jon said he would wait until Aegon agreed to have one on a later batch. Rhaenys agreed to take one and called hers Meraxees but usually just Axe for the reddish brown wolf as my next eldest child Raya got one and called it Sunshine and it was her constant companion. Ashalyen got the last pup and called it Ribbon. My littlest son was so upset by this, but he was promised like his cousins he would get a wolf if there was another batch.

I watched Rhaenys let Harrion pet Axe he says something and she smiles widely starring at him like he is the most amazing thing she has ever seen. It makes me feel regular sick.

“I gave my daughters wolves hoping they would keep the boys away.” I tell my little brother making him laugh. Rhaenys and Harrion start going over to the glass garden out of sight.

“Jon, Aegon.” I call to my sons who are as usual together walking around Winterfell.

“Do me a favor and go be annoying little brothers and stay with Rhaenys and Harrion.” I tell them making Benjen laugh.

“Rhae wait up!” Aegon calls with a charming smile getting a glare from his sister Jon just laughs following after Aegon. They are good boys the both of them I was a whoremonger at 16 but they are good boys who are respectful to woman, good students, and loyal to our family I am very proud of them. Thankfully Jon just looks like a stark long face and all but Aegon is cursed with handsome Targaryen features he is the spitting image of his father and that worries me, but he is safe and tucked away in the north far from Roberts gaze. The people here don’t see a long dead prince when they look at him they see kind, helpful, sweet Aegon who they have known most of his life and see as mine just like I do. 

Berena comes over one of her boys on either side. “Lord Glover and some others want a target competition, the boys wanted to see papa win.” She says making Benjen smile.

“Papa is the best shot in the whole world.” Don says he looks up at his father like he is a great hero the way Benjen used to look at me.

“Go on Benny everyone wants to see the lone wolf in action.”

Benjen puts his younger son up on his shoulders he was not so lone anymore I think he preferred it that way I know I did. “You should see if uncle Brandon will come he taught me how to shoot an arrow.” Benjen says.

“I am going to find Ashalyen and Elia.” I tell him I have not seen them in awhile and I worry Ashalyn is not feeling well.

I go up to my bed chamber I find them their but Ashalyn is not laying down on the daybed to weak to go play as I have seen before instead she is in her mothers lap as Elia fixs her hair into bows. My youngest daughter is seven years old she looks so much like her mother, the same gentle ethereal beauty flowed through them both Elia kisses our daughters head when she is done. I could watch Elia take care of our children for hours she has this maternal grace, I am so glad she is the mother of my children. I am thankful for her every day. Elia wears a grey dress with her silver locket the perfect lady Stark.

“Doesn’t she look beautiful?” Elia askes.

“You both do.” I tell her with a smile.

Ashalyen hugs me before going on her way back to the feastivities her little wolf gallops after her something about my littlist most fragile daughter’s wolf growing the fastest and large amuses me.

“Cley Crewyn pulled her bow out.” Elia explains.

“I’ll kill him.” I tell her shutting the door and latching it.

“He only did it because he likes her.” Elia says while I walk over to her.

“That’s why I am going to kill him.” I say with a shrug making Elia laugh she knows I am joking Cley Crewyn is only 8 years old after all.

“Can I pull your hair?” I ask my hand going into her dark hair she looks up at me with those glorious black eyes. With everything going on we have barely had a moment alone together and I long to be alone with her after all these years my desire for her only strengthens. She is not just a beautiful woman she is the beautiful gentle woman who settles my worst impulses but is still strong enough to bare my children, Elia is my true partner in life and she will always be my burning desire.

“You are the person being celebrated your absence will be noticed.” She hums but she’s already smiling.

I pull her out of her chair into my arms she makes an undignified yelp followed by her graceful laughter as I carry her to bed. “I want to celebrate you, I would not be being celebrated as a great lord without you. I would not have our pack of children which I cannot live without. Your my everything Elia you always will be.” I tell her as I gently place her on our bed, it’s odd to think I once thought myself saddled with Elia and now I needed her like air in my lungs. How funny fate works. She pulls my face down kissing me soundly.

“I love you Brandon Stark and I plan to love you for the rest of my life.” Elia promises and I mean to hold her to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to give them a nice prologue before the second story starts. I wanted to show how happy Brandon is with his family. Thank you so much for reading this you guys are totally the reason their is going to be a second story. Please let me know what you think. Thanks again everyone!!!


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